Legendary, Book One: Hercules
by StaceyLC
Summary: Plagued by dreams from his possession by Dahak, Iolaus travels to the lands of Chin and India in order to come to terms with what has happened to him, while Hercules remains in Greece to deal with some unexpected circumstances that have arose in Attica. Set twenty years after the end of the series and told through "flashbacks". Hercules, Iolaus, Jason, and some OCs
1. Chapter One

_Obligatory disclaimer: I do not own Hercules: The Legendary Journeys or any of its characters. I am making no money, this is just for fun. All original characters are owned by me and are not to be used without explicit permission._

 **Prologue**

 **Now**

He stood on the deck, his hands on the weathered wood of the railing, and watched the waves the ship caused as it made its way to port. _It's so blue here_ , he thought. _I had forgotten._

He had also forgotten how miserably hot it was in Greece this time of year. Nowhere near as hot as it was in India, but it was still enough to be uncomfortable. _Good thing I cut my hair._ He ran his hand through it absently. It still felt odd, even after all these years. He'd had long hair his whole life. It had been the first thing to go when he had left.

He could hear the sailors yelling back and forth to each other in fast, clipped Greek. With a start, he realized he couldn't recognize some of the words, it had been so long since he'd spoken in his own tongue. His stomach suddenly twisted with anxiety. He'd been gone way too long.

He'd made up his mind to go back below deck and try to meditate when the bell started ringing. _Must be getting close._ Sure enough, if he squinted hard enough, he could see a city far off into the horizon.

Corinth. He smiled, his blue eyes crinkling.

 _Home._

A few hours later, they had made port, and he was waiting as the men lowered the plank for him to disembark. He clasped hands with the captain, who had come to wish him farewell. "Thanks again, friend. I don't know when the next ship to Greece would have come around."

"Corinth was on the way. And when you said who you were, well... it was the least I could do," the captain answered. "Feels good to be home?"

His passenger nodded, feeling nervous. "Yeah, it's just… been a long time."

He thanked the captain again before making his way down the plank onto the dock.

"A long time, huh?" the captain asked. "How long have you been gone?"

Iolaus took in his surroundings – the white buildings, lush green trees, bustling market ahead. Not much had changed. "Oh," he answered, "about twenty years."

* * *

 **Chapter One**

 **Then**

It was dark.

Iolaus tried to see, but it was useless. His skin was like ice. He clawed his way in the blackness like a blind man, but the air felt thick, like he was pushing against water. And there was something on his skin. He could feel them. Vile, oily … _things_ … crawling on his arms, his neck, his face, like bugs. There were bugs all over his skin.

No, not on his skin. _In_ it. There was something in his skin, under it, coursing through his veins, something disgusting and slimy, and it was pulling him down. Down down down…

He couldn't breathe. There was a pressure in his chest. He needed to breathe, to get out. He tore at his skin, at the things underneath. He kicked, he screamed, but no sound came out. He couldn't breathe, couldn't breathe, _let me out, let me OUT, LET ME OUT!_

Iolaus woke, screaming, sitting bolt upright on the ground. He was freezing. He looked around in confusion until things came into focus. He was in the forest. He was freezing because he had been sweating, and the blanket covering him was soaked through, sticking to his skin.

Breathing heavily, he looked around to get a better sense of where he was when he felt a hand on his shoulder. He yelped and was about to start swinging until his eyes focused on the face in front of him.

"Whoa, Iolaus! It's me. It's okay, it's just me." Hercules was kneeling down on the ground in front of him, brow furrowed in concern, eyes searching for some kind of sign that Iolaus was hearing him. "It's okay."

Iolaus took a deep, steadying breath and then let it out slowly. "Herc. Yeah… I know. Sorry. I just, ah…"

"Another nightmare?" Hercules finished.

Iolaus looked away. "Yeah." He pushed the sweat soaked blanket off and tossed it next to him on the ground. "Sorry I woke you up."

Hercules shook his head. "I was already awake." Iolaus knew he was lying to spare his feelings but he chose not to comment.

It was dark. The only illumination was the stars. It was late into the night, but Iolaus didn't think they had been asleep all that long.

Hercules settled back down onto his mat, never taking his eyes off his friend. "You okay?"

He felt sick, and his skin was clammy. "Yeah," Iolaus said shakily. _No_.

Hercules regarded him carefully. "Are you sure? You look terrible."

He felt his stomach clench and grit his teeth. _Gods, not again…_

"Um…I'll be right back." Iolaus suddenly got to his feet and started off into the bushes.

Hercules got back up with a start. "Iolaus!" He started to follow until he heard the sounds of retching, making him grimace. _Oh boy_ , Hercules thought. _It's getting worse._

This was the third night this week. Hercules was getting increasingly worried.

It had been three months since they had saved the world again and had restored the Titans to their rightful place in Tartarus. Greece had been peaceful, and for once, the two of them could go almost more than a week before anyone came to ask for their help. Iolaus had joked that they must be going through a slow spell, which had suited the demigod just fine. It was nice to have a break. But Iolaus had seemed restless, antsy even. And then the nightmares had started.

They weren't bad at first. Hercules would be woken by Iolaus thrashing and moaning in his sleep. A few shakes would wake him up, or Hercules would be able to talk to him enough while he was sleeping to calm him down and rid him of whatever was causing the dream. Iolaus would have them a once or twice a month, and each time they would get progressively worse. It would take Hercules longer and longer to try and wake him up; Iolaus' cries would become more pitiful, more intense, as he tried to escape whatever seemed to be haunting him. When he finally did wake up, he looked sick, and frightened. Hercules tried to get him to talk about them, but Iolaus claimed he couldn't remember. "They're gone as soon as I wake up," he had said. "I just remember it being dark and… and I can't come back."

"Come back from what?" Hercules asked.

But Iolaus just stared, not at Hercules, but at a point beyond him, almost like he was looking through him. And then he shook his head. "I don't know."

Hercules knew Iolaus well enough to know he was lying. He just didn't know why. But he also knew Iolaus well enough not to push him. Iolaus was just about the only person he knew that could tolerate his mothering, but only up to a point. The demigod knew if he kept pressing, it would just make Iolaus mad, and then he'd never get anything out of him.

 _He'll tell me when he's ready,_ Hercules had told himself. But the dreams just got more frequent, and more terrible. They were coming every week, then multiple times a week, and now, almost every single night. Iolaus looked like a zombie, pale and exhausted, as they made their way through Greece to Corinth in order to spend some time with Jason. Hercules doubted Iolaus slept much after the dreams woke him up; Hercules hadn't slept much either. They were both running off only four or five hours of sleep each night. As a demigod, Hercules could handle it. But Iolaus needed to sleep, without the fear of these nightmares.

He was going to have to talk to him. There was obviously something going on with his friend. Hercules had a pretty good idea of what it was, but he didn't know how to approach the subject. _How do you talk about something like that?_ Hercules thought. They had tried before, but it had been a disaster. It had been too painful for Iolaus. It was easier to just go back to the way things were, to forget about it, to just be happy it was all in the past. They had learned to live with it, or so Hercules had thought. _Obviously not_.

Hercules really didn't want to do this. It brought up too many painful memories. The months after Sumeria were not his finest moments. He'd felt as if half of himself had been torn away, and he had gone on a rampage which had destroyed what was left of the Sumerian gods, and then had managed to almost get the Norse deities killed as well. _That's what I'm good at, right?_ Hercules thought, angrily. _Wherever I go, people get hurt. People die._ Like Iolaus had died, and then gotten possessed by a demon hell bent on destroying everything and everyone Hercules held dear, all because Hercules couldn't say no. People needed help, and he'd to go. And Iolaus had come with him, despite his misgivings. Because that was what Iolaus did. His loyalty to Hercules had gotten him killed, and Iolaus had been crushed physically, spiritually, and mentally before he was able to find some kind of peace.

Hercules shook his head in disgust. The fire they had built before they had fallen asleep was still glowing, tiny little embers still trying to hold on. Hercules steeled himself. _Well, if we're going to do this, we might as well be warm._

* * *

Iolaus spit the remaining bile out of his mouth, holding onto a tree for support. _What is wrong with me?_ He shakily pulled himself upright. He was still cold. It reminded him of the dream, and he shivered. He felt more vomit threatening to come up, but he willed himself to push it back down. _Knock it off_ , he commanded himself. _It's just a dream._

Except he knew it was more than that. He just didn't want to admit it. Angrily, he shoved off the tree he was leaning on for support and started stamping through the forest, making his way back toward the camp. _Why_ , he thought. _Why now?_ It had been almost a year. It was over. He was back. Everyone was happy. Life was back to normal.

 _Ha, normal. How do you go back to being normal?_ The thought seemed to come up from nowhere, and he angrily tried to push it aside, shaking his head to clear it. He thought he'd been doing so well. When he had first come back, it had been difficult. He'd asked to see his grave, which he could tell had unnerved Hercules, but he'd taken Iolaus to it anyway. He felt like part of him was still in there, in the ground, being eaten by worms. This body he had now… it was new. Free from all the burdens of his previous life, as he had come to think of it. Free of scars. He scratched at his chest, where the knife had struck him. There was nothing there, and it annoyed him that after almost a year he was still surprised by that.

This body… sometimes it felt like it wasn't really even his. This body had not been beaten, tortured, put through the ringer by monsters, warlords, his father… this body had not loved Anya, or Niobe, or Nebula. This body hadn't been beaten to death by the Enforcer, or turned to stone, or possessed.

Iolaus shivered. It had taken him a very long time to compartmentalize all that had happened, to lock it away, and pretend it had happened to someone else. It wasn't healthy, and he knew that. Those things didn't happen to someone else. It wasn't another Iolaus, another life. They had happened to him; it was _his_ life. And this body was just that – a body. A fleshy thing to keep his soul in until…

 _What? I die? Been there, done that. Came back. Again, and again, and again…_

By the time Iolaus got back to camp, Hercules had put some more logs on what was left of that evening's fire and was in the process of lighting it again. The blond man stopped, feigning confusion. _Great..._ "What are you doing?" he asked out loud.

"Trying to relight this damn fire," Hercules grunted, exasperated. "Some of the logs are damp."

"Oh," Iolaus said. He scratched at the stubble that was forming on his chin and came back over to sit on his mat. "Why?" he asked, casually, but he knew he wasn't fooling anybody, least of all Hercules. _Not tonight, Herc, please. I'm exhausted, I really don't want to do this right now…_

The demigod didn't look up from his fire ministrations. "Because we need to talk."

Iolaus chewed on his bottom lip and tried to keep the annoyance out of his voice. "Herc… it's the middle of the night. We both need to rest if we are going to make it-"

"We both know no one is going back to sleep tonight."

Iolaus stared. _Dammit_ , he thought, angrily. _He's not going to let it go_. That was Hercules' problem. He just couldn't leave well enough alone sometimes. Iolaus watched him in silence as he tried, stubbornly, to get the fire started with the two stones Iolaus had found earlier. _Chink, chink._ Nothing. _Chink, chink._ Nothing. _Chink, chink…_

"It's not working," Iolaus stated.

Hercules threw the stones back down and sat up, annoyed. "Yeah, I can see that," he shot back.

The blond shrugged. "Oh, well. Hey, if we can't get the fire going and we can't go back to sleep, we might as well keep heading on to Jason's." He got back up and started packing his gear.

Hercules just stared at him, eyebrows raised. "Excuse me?"

"What?" Iolaus said, rolling up his mat. "Like you said, we probably won't be able to go back to sleep. At least, I'm not." He glanced over at Hercules, who was still sitting on the ground. "So, let's get a move on. I don't want to sit here in the cold."

Hercules just snorted incredulously. "Iolaus, sit back down."

Iolaus didn't answer. _Ignoring him won't do any good_ , his mind said. He ignored that, too. "Have you seen my amulet?"

"It's in your pack," Hercules answered. "Iolaus… Iolaus, stop packing. We're not leaving."

Iolaus inhaled and exhaled deeply and very slowly, biting back his retort. He was finding it harder and harder to control his temper. "I'm not having this conversation tonight, Hercules."

 _Here we go_ , Hercules sighed inwardly. "Iolaus-"

"What!?" Iolaus yelled, suddenly, throwing his pack onto the ground with such force that it split open, spilling its contents everywhere. "Gods dammit!" He started picking up his things, grumbling incoherently.

Hercules didn't move from his spot on the ground. He watched Iolaus carefully as he roughly tried to stuff his things back into the pack and hold it together with his fist.

Iolaus could feel his eyes on him. " _What_ , Hercules?"

"Nothing."

Iolaus made an annoyed noise deep in his throat and slammed his pack back on the ground again. "Don't do that!"

Hercules sighed. "Do what, Iolaus?"

"That-that… passive aggressive crap! I can't stand that. You know I can't stand when you do that!"

"I know," Hercules admitted. "But, you obviously don't want to talk, and you don't want to sleep, and I'm not tramping through the jungle in the middle of the night, so I guess we'll just... sit here. Not talking, and not sleeping."

Iolaus looked over at him, eyes full of something Hercules couldn't determine. Anger? Sadness? Maybe both? His face was pale, the dark circles under his eyes standing out like a raccoon's mask. He looked like he had aged years in a matter of weeks. He needed to rest. He needed… _something._ Hercules just didn't know what. _Maybe a good kick in the ass._

"Why are you doing this, Hercules?" Iolaus asked, suddenly. His voice sounded strained.

"Because you look terrible, Iolaus. You look like hell. We probably both do. These dreams… nightmares… whatever, they're doing something to you. And I can't help you if you won't let me."

"Maybe I don't want you to help me," Iolaus said before he could stop himself, too irate to care why he was saying the words or where they had even come from. "Gods, Hercules, it isn't always about what you want to do!"

If Hercules was hurt by Iolaus' words, he didn't show it. He just sat in the same position on the ground, looking up at Iolaus calmly. "I know that, Iolaus. I just… don't like seeing you in pain. And you _are_ in pain. I wish you would just tell me why."

The words were meant to calm Iolaus down, but for some reason they had the opposite effect. Rage filled Iolaus instead – boiling, hot bubbling anger that threatened to consume him. Instead of his friend, he saw someone he wanted to hurt, to rip and tear into shreds. He'd felt like this towards Hercules before, only it hadn't really been him. It had been something else, making him feel that way. He hadn't felt like this since he'd had that thing in his body, and he shook his head violently, willing the images and feelings to go away. _That wasn't you._ This _isn't you._ _Dahak's gone. He's gone, remember?_ He clenched his fists and forced himself to breathe, and the rage suddenly dissipated just as quickly as it had come, leaving Iolaus feeling weak. He sat back down on his mat in a heap, rubbing a hand over his face.

"I can't," he told Hercules softly, once he'd calmed down enough to trust himself to speak. "I can't, Herc. I can't talk about this right now." _Please don't make me…_

This is what he had been afraid of, ever since they had stopped the Titans and there had been less and less for them to do. There was nothing to take his mind off it any longer. Nothing to hold back the pain and the memories, and the loss. He had been throwing himself into battles with reckless abandon, using anything possible to keep going, to lock it all away, so he wouldn't have to think about what it had felt like to not be in control of your own body, to be trapped inside his own mind while Dahak used his name and friends to do terrible things; had used _him_ to do terrible things. And then to have been free, wrapped in the warm blanket of the Light, finally being able to rest, to know so much _joy_ …

"I can't talk about this," Iolaus said again. "I'm sorry… I know you want me to. I know you want to help me but… I don't think you can."

Hercules got up then and crossed the distance between them in two large strides. He sat down next to Iolaus and put a hand on his shoulder. "I just wish you would talk to me. Whatever is bothering you, it just doesn't seem like you're dealing with it on your own. These nightmares… they're like when you first came back-"

"Don't," Iolaus stopped him, not wanting to go there.

"Iolaus," Hercules began again, gently, squeezing his shoulder, "you need help."

Too tired and drained to argue, Iolaus just nodded. "I know." _You just can't be the one to do it._

* * *

Iolaus woke the next morning with one of the worst headaches he had ever experienced. Just the small amount of sun he was able to see through his eyelids made him want to curl into a ball and die. And for some reason, he couldn't feel one of arms. _What the hell?_ He willed his eyes open, blinked against the harsh light, and tried to sit up enough to look around.

He was lying face up on the ground. His mat was rolled up and his stuff was everywhere. There was something large and warm next to him. From the weight it was putting on his arm, Iolaus assumed it was a boulder. He rolled over and came face to face with a yellow tunic. _Ah. That explains a lot_. He must have fallen asleep, thankfully with no more dreaming. Hercules had stayed next to him the whole night.

Iolaus felt a pang of guilt, which quickly started dissipating as Hercules started stirring and he thought he heard one of his bones snap. "Herc," he gasped, pushing the demigod in the back in a failing effort to roll him over. "Wake up!"

"Huh?" Hercules replied, tiredly. "Whassmatter?"

Iolaus punched him roughly. He doubted Hercules even felt it. "Get off me!"

"Hmm? Oh!" Hercules sat up and Iolaus swiftly pulled his right arm back, shaking it out to get the blood flowing again. "Sorry." He got up and made his way over to his mat and gear while Iolaus still tried to regain some feeling in his arm.

 _I should be the one apologizing_ , Iolaus thought, thinking of the previous night's events. "It's okay. I guess I managed to fall asleep?"

Hercules nodded. "Yeah. After your uh… outburst, you just lost all your energy and fell asleep on me."

 _My outburst. That's what we're going to call it?_ "Oh."

"You didn't have any more dreams, so that's a good sign. How are you feeling?"

Iolaus ran a hand over his eyes and tried to use the pressure points to ease the headache. "Honestly? Like we had one of our wild Academy parties."

Hercules barked a laugh. _Well, his sense of humor is returning_ , the demigod though encouragingly. _That's also a good sign._ "Well, I'm sure we look like it, too."

"Mmm," was all Iolaus said in agreement. "So… about last night-"

Hercules stopped packing just long enough to give Iolaus a wave with his hand. "Don't worry about it."

Iolaus stared at him in complete and utter astonishment. _And you wonder why I don't want to talk to you?_ "Don't worry about it," he repeated back, slowly.

"Yeah, it's okay."

The pounding in Iolaus' head was becoming louder. "No, Herc. Look… I'm sorry I yelled at you, and threw my pack…" _My pack._ It had broken when he had slammed it roughly on the ground last night. Iolaus sighed, aggravated. But Hercules was already grabbing a few of his items off the ground.

"It's okay, Iolaus, I can fit some of it in mine. But, you get to carry the rest. Here," he said, holding out his hand. Iolaus could see the leather strand of his amulet dangling in the air.

"Oh. Thanks." He took it and slipped it over his head. "I really am sorry about the whole yelling at you... thing."

Hercules shook his head. "I told you not to worry about it. You, uh, had a rough night, and those dreams can't be fun."

The anger was coming back. Iolaus clenched his fists and tried to remain calm. "I _do_ worry about it. And would you stop doing that?" Hercules was still picking up Iolaus' things.

"Okay," Hercules said, noncommittally. "Apology accepted."

Iolaus fought the urge to start raging again. _He's doing this on purpose, I swear._ Looking anywhere but at Hercules, he nodded, and said, "Okay."

Hercules just stood there with his hands on his hips. "You going to help me, or what?"

That caught Iolaus off guard. _Oh, right, I told him to stop being nice to me._ "Right! Yeah, sorry." He started handing random things to Hercules. A few minutes later, Hercules somehow managing to fit everything into his pack except Iolaus' weapons, they were ready to continue on to Corinth.

Iolaus could tell Hercules was trying to be non-confrontational, which was very unlike him. The demigod seemed unwilling to push him, as if he was walking on eggshells. _Yeah, and whose fault's that?_

Iolaus sighed, and just as he was about to open his mouth to press the issue, Hercules turned to him and said, "When we get to Corinth, we should look for some herbs in the market to help you sleep. We'll get to Jason's, and then… we can figure out what's going on."

Iolaus wanted to tell him he didn't want any sleeping draughts. That he really didn't even want to go to Jason's anymore. But, again, he just nodded. "Okay, Hercules."

Hercules nodded back. "Okay," he said, clapping his friend on the shoulder and heading back off towards the path through the forest.

"Okay," Iolaus said again, and followed.

* * *

It was evening before they finally arrived at Jason's. Any and all attempts to engage Iolaus in conversation had been a miserable failure. Hercules was very concerned. Iolaus had never been very good at hiding his feelings, but for the first time in what felt like his whole life, Hercules was having trouble reading his friend.

They had stopped in the market to pick up some herbs that were supposed to help with calming the nerves and sleeping. To Hercules' dismay, Iolaus also picked up a jug full of wine. _Never a good sign_ , Hercules thought, sadly. Hercules had only seen Iolaus this way twice in his life – when Anya and the boys had died, and when he had come back from death this last time. Hercules had brought Iolaus back before; once, when he had been turned to stone, and the other when he'd rescued him from Tartarus after the Enforcer had beaten him to death. Both of those times, Iolaus had bounced back immediately. The thing with the Enforcer had shaken him up, mostly because of the way he had died. But this last time had been different. There had been a shadow behind his friends' eyes, and the dreams had started coming. Hercules had tried to ask him about it, but either Iolaus couldn't find the words, or didn't want to. He said the dreams had been about Dahak, that he was having nightmares about the things he had done. Hercules had tried to reassure him, "That wasn't you, Iolaus. You have to put that stuff out of your mind. You didn't do those things." But it hadn't helped, and Hercules could tell Iolaus wasn't telling him everything. Soon after that, they'd had to defeat Sin and send her and Xerxos back to wherever they came from. The dreams started lessening, then stopped completely, and Iolaus seemed to forget whatever had been causing them and gone back to his old self. So, Hercules had let it go. It was obvious to him now that probably had been a mistake. They hadn't had much work, which had been a welcome break for Hercules, but it seemed the lack of action was getting to Iolaus. He regretted not letting Iolaus apologize and talk to him that morning. _I should have just let him get it out. Here I was complaining about how he didn't want to talk to me, and then he tries, and I blow him off._ He resolved to make things right with him once they got to Jason's. This was his friend, his brother. He didn't get him back from Dahak and the dead just to lose him again to these nightmares.

Jason came out to greet them as they walked up the pathway to the house. "I expected you two a few hours ago," he said to them, smiling warmly. He clasped Hercules hand and pulled him in for a quick hug, which Hercules returned.

"Yeah, well, we had a late start this morning," Hercules said. He gave Jason a small nod at Iolaus, who was staring off into space, looking exhausted. Jason looked back and forth at the two of them.

"Ah," was all he said. He turned to Iolaus, putting a hand on his shoulder. "Everything okay?"

Iolaus seemed to snap himself out of his reverie, and smiled at Jason. "Yeah, sure. How's it going?"

"Well-" Jason began, but Iolaus cut him off.

"Good! Here, I brought wine." Iolaus stuffed the jug into Jason's hands and made his way into the house.

Jason watched him go, and then exchanged a look with Hercules. "All right. What's going on?"

Hercules shook his head, following Iolaus and indicating that Jason should too. "I'll… tell you later. If we stand out here any longer, he'll know we're talking about him."

Jason couldn't argue with that. Iolaus had an uncanny ability to know when people were having a conversation that revolved around him, and especially when those same people didn't want him knowing about it. _What's that expression? Feeling like someone stepped on your grave?_ Jason thought, and then winced. _Bad choice of words…_

The two of them entered the house to see Iolaus getting out some cups. "Want me to open that?" he asked, nodding at the jug of wine that Jason was placing on the table.

"Don't you want to eat first? I made lamb." Crossing his arms, Jason nonchalantly leaned against the kitchen wall while Hercules set down their gear by the front door.

"Nah." Iolaus took his dagger and sliced open the top of the jug. "Not hungry."

What followed was one of the loudest silences Iolaus had ever heard. He looked up from pouring his wine to see Hercules and Jason staring at him with a mix of astonishment and concern. He narrowed his eyes. "Fine," he said, grumpily, getting back up, "I'll go get the lamb." He made his way out of the house to the back yard where Jason had left it roasting.

As soon as he was out of earshot, Jason whirled on Hercules. "Not hungry my ass. What the hell is wrong with him?"

Hercules quickly gave Jason an abridged version of the previous night's events. "They're getting worse," he concluded. "I don't know what to do."

"I could use some help out here!" Iolaus called. Jason rolled his eyes.

"We'll talk later," he said. "Come on. Iolaus may say he's not hungry, but I'm starving."

A few hours and half a jug of wine later, most of the lamb was picked clean and the three of them were sitting around the table, reminiscing. Iolaus was acting normally, although Hercules thought the three cups of wine he'd had probably helped with that.

Jason was leaning back in his chair, his feet propped up unceremoniously on the table. "Watch it," Hercules said, playfully. "I doubt my mother would be too pleased to see you doing that."

Jason laughed. "You'd be surprised what your mother let me get away with," he said with a wink, which made Iolaus collapse into a giggling fit. Hercules rolled his eyes.

"That's enough of that." The demigod poured himself a cup of water while Iolaus reached for the wine. Hercules was about to make a move to stop him, when he caught Jason's look out of the corner of his eye. The former king shook his head. _Not now_ , he seemed to say. "So," he began, "what have you boys been up to?"

"Boys," Iolaus snorted into his cup. "Okay, old man."

"Very funny. I may not be able to do anything about you, but I am this one's stepfather."

"Don't start," Hercules said, but a smile was playing on the corners of his mouth.

"But seriously, when is the last time we were all here together?" Jason asked, gesturing at the house. "Probably right after…" but he stopped. An awkward silence filled the room. _Well this is going well…_ Hercules thought, clearing his throat.

"So," he began, changing the subject. "How's Iphicles holding up? Still sending for you every other day?"

From the looks on both Jason and Iolaus' faces, it wasn't working. _So much for that._

"He's good." Jason carefully studied Iolaus. "Academy is doing well, too."

"Oh, yeah. I forgot about that. Still can't picture you as a teacher." Iolaus swirled the wine around in his cup.

"Hey, I taught you a thing or two in my time."

This got a derisive snort out of Iolaus, who set down his wine and started picking absent mindedly at what lamb meat was left. "When do you head back up to the Academy?"

Jason shrugged. "I have some work to do around here and then I plan on heading back again in the next couple days." He gave Hercules an inconspicuous look out of the corner of his eye. "And no, you can't help."

"Me?" Hercules raised his eyebrows. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Yes. You. If you so much as go near that wall, I'll kick your ass."

Hercules huffed indignantly. "I finished that already."

"Uh, huh."

"Well," Iolaus said suddenly, throwing the thoroughly cleaned off bone back onto his plate, "this has been fun, but I think I'm gonna turn in."

Hercules and Jason exchanged glances. "Okay. I'm sure you two could use the rest." Jason gestured at the table. "I'll clean up. Hercules, I made up your old room-"

"That's okay. I can help you out here." The demigod got up and went over to the door where they had left their gear. "Here," he said, coming back over and thrusting a small pouch of herbs at Iolaus.

Iolaus stared at them silently and didn't take them. Jason looked back and forth between the two, and then plucked the bag out of Hercules' hand, studying it. "What's this?"

"Nothing," Iolaus said, the same time Hercules answered, "Herbs for sleeping." Jason sighed.

"I'm fine," Iolaus insisted. "Good night. You two have fun." He got up and headed for the bedroom, but not before refilling his cup with what was left of the wine.

"Good night." Jason shrugged, tossing the bag back on the table. "You probably shouldn't mix that with all the wine you've had anyway."

Iolaus stopped, flashing Jason a look that Hercules couldn't quite read, and snatched the pouch off the table. "I'll be fine."

"Suit yourself," Jason called after him. A few moments later, they heard the door shut, loudly enough to let the both of them know that Iolaus was not pleased with them.

"Why did you let him do that?" Hercules started, but Jason put a hand up to stop him.

"Help me get this mess off the table, and then we'll go outside." Jason stood and began stacking the plates. He looked up to see Hercules' worried expression directed at the bedroom door. He cleared his throat, and when Hercules turned to him, pointed at his ear and then at the door.

 _Right_ , Hercules thought. He shook his head and started carrying things into the kitchen.

* * *

As soon as Iolaus shut the door he had thrown the herbs violently at the adjoining wall. He could hear the clanging of dishes as Hercules and Jason cleaned up. _Yep, go ahead and talk about me like I can't hear you._ _Oldest trick in the book_. He shook his head angrily and quickly threw back the remainder of the wine. He had been too preoccupied to really notice the food or the conversation that evening. On the walk to Corinth, he had remembered a few details about the dream and it made him uneasy. It had definitely been a Dahak dream. But it had the feeling of something else as well. The whole way Hercules had tried to get him to talk about it, and it took Iolaus swatting him with his sword sheath to get him to knock it off. Sometimes Hercules' mothering was too much, even for him.

He could tell Hercules thought he was trying to avoid the whole situation, and part of him was. But the rest of him was lost in thought, even as they got to the market and Hercules all but forced him into the medicinal tent to get the sleeping herbs. He didn't have any intention of using them, but he got it to appease Hercules. _He just cares about you_ , he told himself. _He's been lost without you, and you without him. He's brought you back to life how many times now, for Zeus' sake?_

 _Maybe that's the problem_ , a small part of him answered. The realization brought him up short. _That's stupid,_ he told himself. He didn't want to be dead. He wanted to be alive, here in Greece, fighting back to back, with his friend, his brother. He wanted to feel the sun on his skin, eat delicious food, sleep with beautiful women, roll in the gods damned mud if he wanted to. He wanted… he wanted…

 _Peace,_ that small part of his mind said. _You had that, remember? And then it was taken away._

 _No!_

He didn't want to think about that. He couldn't think about it. He was happy. He was happy, dammit! But, that small part of his mind was still there, niggling at him, telling him he was just saying that to convince himself, and Hercules, that everything was fine. _You're not fine_. _You're losing it, Iolaus. And then he'll find out…_

 _Will you just SHUT UP?!_

The noise in the kitchen stopped suddenly, and Iolaus realized he must have said that last bit out loud. "That's just great," he muttered, and let his head fall back against the wooden door he was still leaning on. Thud, thud, thud. It was almost therapeutic, until it mixed with the already hazy feeling the wine was giving him, and then he felt a headache coming on. He slid down the door onto the floor and put his head in his hands. Everything was going to Tartarus in a hand basket. _It's not fair_ , he thought, angrily.

Iolaus stopped, his ears picking up on the recognizable foot fall of Hercules coming to the door. That confirmed his suspicions that he had been talking to himself. Iolaus sat still, his back against the door, listening. He could almost sense Hercules' indecision about whether to knock on the door or not. _Don't_ , Iolaus silently pleaded. He couldn't understand why. He was conflicted, insides bubbling with turmoil. He wanted Hercules to leave, yet he wanted him to stay. He had wanted to stay and enjoy his friends' company, yet he had retreated to the bedroom. He was happy to be home, to be back with Hercules and Jason, hell, even _Autolycus_ , and yet he wasn't. He was angry. Gods, he was so _angry_. Angry at everyone, at everything that had happened. At Dahak, at Nebula, at Gilgamesh, at that idiot Ares, at Hercules-

Iolaus blinked, startled by that revlation. That was it. He was angry at Hercules. The clarity lasted only long enough for Iolaus to hear the demigod's footsteps walking back toward the kitchen, apparently deciding on his own not to disturb his frien, and then the confusion set in again. Why would he be angry at Hercules? He'd done nothing wrong.

 _No. That's not right._ He hadn't tried hard enough to get Iolaus to talk, and Iolaus knew part of the blame in that rested with him. He had pushed everything down in the rush of euphoria he had experienced at being back, being alive. Hercules had been so happy, so beside himself with joy at his unbelievable luck that he'd gotten Iolaus back again that the two of them just went on, like nothing had happened. Iolaus thought it would be easier that way, and he had tried to forget. Forget what it had felt like to be trapped in his own mind, to have his very soul in the grip of something so foul, so evil, that it had literally left rips and tears in his spiritual self. To see what was happening and be unable to stop it. To forget that it was he, Iolaus, who fell for Dahak's plan because of one moment… one tiny, _stupid moment_ of jealousy and that need to know what it felt like to be better than Hercules, just _once_ , just for a moment…

A moment was all it took. A moment had cost Iolaus and Hercules, and a lot of other people, far too much. He'd regretted it instantly, but it was too late. It had been what Dahak had been waiting for. Just a split second, just enough of a slip of Iolaus' resolve, and Dahak had consumed him. He knew now, that as much as he tried, he would never be rid of what that felt like to have Dahak inside him. It was a stain on his very soul.

So, who was he really mad at then? Hercules, or himself?

Iolaus rubbed his eyes tiredly. This was just too much. He could feel the finely crafted wall he had put around his mind over the last year cracking and crumbling. The things he didn't want to admit, or remember, were slowly wiggling their way out of those cracks, like tiny worms. He couldn't keep ignoring them, or they would drive him insane. He knew that, from the things he had learned in the East.

Things had been so much clearer before, when he was there. Well, not exactly... At first things were about as clear as mud. His grief at losing Anya had left him dazed, unable to cope with anything or anyone around him. It was his first real experience with loss. He was never close with his family. Hercules and Alcmene were more family to him than his own brothers and parents. In fact, other than Hercules, he had never let anyone get as close to him as Anya had. And then, just as quickly as he had known her, she had been snatched away and Iolaus was left reeling. How could he have felt such love and happiness, only to have it snuffed out like a candle? He'd blamed the gods, thinking they had punished him for all the times he had metaphorically spat on their faces with Hercules and Jason at the Academy, and he had run. He'd abandoned everything and everyone, including his two small boys. He'd left his children, because every time he looked at them, he saw Anya. He'd left because he couldn't cope.

And now here he was again. He felt his throat closing up with emotion, and he tried to swallow it down. When was the last time he had even thought about Anya? It had been so long, he couldn't even remember. Like with what had happened over the last year, forgetting about Anya and his boys had been a lot easier than dealing with the pain. Sometimes he even had himself half convinced it had never happened – he had never had a wife, he'd never had a family. But that was obviously not true, and it annoyed him that he was thinking about them now.

Pushing everything away, he sat up straight and slowed his breathing, trying to quiet his mind. He needed to meditate, to be alone. Hercules and Jason were probably off by the cow pond somewhere, talking about him. Okay. That was fine. They could stay down there all night, for all he cared. He just needed some time to be alone, gather his thoughts, have some peace and quiet…

 _Peace. You had peace. Remember?_ Iolaus' brow furrowed in concentration, trying to silence the annoying voice. _You won't find it here. No peace, no joy, no hope-_

Snarling in frustration, Iolaus got up off the floor in an angry whirl and snatched the discarded herb pouch as he stood. "I'm going to make you be quiet," he growled through clenched teeth, dumping the entire contents into his hand. He had not wanted to go to sleep tonight, but he hadn't wanted to stay up either, and it seemed meditation was out as well, so he might as well get himself into a drug induced stupor. He looked around the room for something to drink, and then remembered he had drank all the wine and there was no carafe of water on the bedroom's small table. Cursing, he crushed the herbs together as best he could with his own spit, trying to turn them into some kind of makeshift paste, and then licked whatever he had concocted off his hand and forced himself to swallow.

It was awful. He shivered involuntarily as the aftertaste lingered on his tongue. "Ugh," he sputtered, "disgusting!" _Maybe it won't work and I'll have more nightmares. Then I can throw it all up again._ The thought made Iolaus giggle manically. He started to walk toward the bed when the room started to spin.

 _Wow_ , he thought, blinking, _that's some strong stuff._ And then he passed out cold.

* * *

Hercules had had just about enough of Jason's puttering around the kitchen when he had heard a shout coming from the bedroom he used to share with Iolaus. He furrowed his brow in confusion and turned to Jason, who looked equally baffled. The former king shrugged. Frowning, Hercules tossed the rag he was holding to the side and started towards the door.

"Hercules," Jason warned, tiredly, but the demigod waved him off.

"I'm just checking." He paused at the door, listening for any more strange outbursts.

"Leave the man alone. He's got a lot on his mind," Jason stated. He took the remaining rags and dirty water bucket to the door to dump out, ignoring Hercules' look of surprise.

"How do you know?"

"Hercules, would you just come outside?" Jason hissed at him, going out the door and continuing to mutter about old mothering demigods.

Hercules took one last look at Iolaus' door before shaking his head and following the former king. There was something going on, and he didn't like it.

He found Jason in the front yard, the now empty dishwater bucket at his feet, leaning against the stone wall Hercules had built for Alcmene. He eyed it and Jason carefully as he approached.

"You can stop looking for things to fix," Jason sighed.

"There's some cracks I need to fill."

"No, there aren't."

Hercules pursed his lips together but said nothing. "What you need to do," Jason continued, "is pipe down and listen to me for a second."

Hercules crossed his arms and joined Jason, leaning against the wall next to him. "Okay. I'm listening." But Jason merely took a deep breath and didn't elaborate. "If you know what's going on with Iolaus, it would be nice if you could share. I mean… I just don't know what to do anymore. I've tried talking to him; he shuts me out. It's not like him to… bottle his feelings up like this." Jason still didn't answer. "If it's about Dahak… I wish he would just understand-"

"Understand, what Hercules?" Jason interrupted.

"That it wasn't him! That I've forgiven him, even though there was nothing _to_ forgive, because I could tell he needed that. I've asked him about what happened, I've tried to talk to him-"

"No, you haven't. Not really. And that's okay," Jason added, seeing Hercules start bristling next to him. "The gods know you had your own demons to deal with after what happened, no pun intended. The both of you have dealt with things no one should deal with." He paused, as if trying to find the right words that would both convey the right meaning and also not get Hercules worked up into a fit. "Hercules… Iolaus, uh… he remembers everything that happened to him when he was…" He gestured wildly.

"Possessed," Hercules stated, firmly. "You can say it."

"Fine. He remembers everything from when he was possessed."

"He told me that already."

"No, Hercules," Jason said, sadly. "I mean, he remembers _everything._ Dying, being trapped in that limbo, his soul unable to move on. The things he… Dahak… did to Nebula, to me, to everyone here."

"But that was _Dahak_."

"I know that, Hercules. But he _remembers_ like it was him. They are _his_ memories."

Hercules shook his head, pushing off the wall in annoyance. "Why are you telling me this? How do you know all of this stuff?"

Jason looked as though he really didn't want to answer that question, but he sighed tiredly and admitted, "Iolaus came to talk to me."

Hercules stopped in his tracks. "Iolaus came to talk… to _you_?"

That got a glare from Jason. "In case you forgot, he _is_ my friend, too."

"You know what I mean."

Jason rubbed his hand over his eyes. "Yeah, I know. Look, Hercules… there are some things he just couldn't tell you. And, he needed to get it out. He could tell you were still dealing with some of your own guilt, after what happened with the druids in Eire and that whole thing with that other Iolaus, whatever it was. He didn't want to burden you."

" _Burden_ me?!" Hercules was genuinely hurt. "How could Iolaus think that anything he was feeling or anything he had to say would be a burden to me?" He made a disgusted noise and turned away from Jason, staring off into the near-by woods. "When was all this?" he asked, finally.

Jason shifted uncomfortably. "A few months after he got back. Remember, you two split up for a week?"

"He said he was going to check on his old forge-"

"And he did. But then he came to the Academy, to see me. That caused a stir, let me tell you what. The kids thought he was that other one. Thanks, by the way, for leaving me that mess to clean up."

Hercules looked at Jason then, guiltily. "Uh, sorry," he said. Hercules had given Iolaus the gist of what had happened with the duplicate Iolaus from the other world, but hadn't gone into detail. The truth was, he didn't really know how to explain it to himself.

"Yeah, you're sorry. I don't think I've ever seen him so pissed. Anyway, once I calmed him down from that, we were catching up. He knew you had sent word about the circumstances of what happened, but he wanted to see me and tell me in person."

"Why didn't he just tell me what he was doing?" Hercules asked in bewilderment.

"Because you would have wanted to come along."

Hercules threw his hands up on in exasperation. "Hercules, one day you are going to have to learn to accept that there are some things you _can't_ fix. And this is one of them." Jason pushed off the wall and came to stand beside his friend and stepson. "Look, I don't know what's going on with him right now, but when he came to see me he was dealing with a lot. It was hard for him to just push what had happened aside. He knows he had no control over it, but that doesn't mean it doesn't affect him. And he felt responsible. Dahak needed one moment of doubt to get into Iolaus' heart, and he gave it to him, Hercules."

"That's not true!" Hercules yelled, angrily, storming away again. He didn't need to hear again about how everything was Iolaus' fault. He heard it enough from that thing that had possessed his friends' body. _It was a lie. All that thing_ did _was lie_. He wished for half a second Dahak was still around, just so he could have the satisfaction of crushing it into a million pieces all over again.

"You can deny it all you want to, but Iolaus is self-aware enough to know that Dahak couldn't force his way in. He told me that. A part of him had to be willing. Now, I don't blame him for anything Dahak did. A man's mind and his soul can only take so much before he'll do anything to stop the pain. You know it, and I know it. Don't try to lie to me, Hercules. You tried to sink a fucking ship while you were still _on_ it, for Zeus' sake!"

"Dahak manipulated him!" Hercules argued. "Iolaus didn't know what he was doing. That _thing_ twisted everything Iolaus stood for, everything he said, and tricked him into accepting it!"

"Yes," Jason agreed, "and it destroyed his soul. Maybe you ought to remember that. Humans don't bounce back from something like that as quickly as you would like."

That stopped Hercules in his tracks. "What, exactly, is that supposed to mean?" he asked, very slow and very deliberately.

If Jason was disturbed by Hercules' tone, he refused to show it. "It means exactly what it sounds like. He needed some time. Maybe he still does. It was easier for him to forget about it and focus on helping people. But, he needed someone to talk to."

"And he couldn't talk to me." Hercules shook his head again, exasperated. "So, I try to talk to him too much, and I'm a mother hen. I leave him alone, and he goes to talk to you. Unbelievable."

"He _couldn't_ talk to you, Hercules. You were so damned happy, he didn't want to ruin it by bringing you his problems. That's all."

"That doesn't make me feel better whatsoever."

"It wasn't supposed to. Look, Hercules… after we talked, he seemed better. I think he was still feeling some emotions he didn't want you to see. So he came to talk to me. Now, obviously, either he wasn't feeling as good as he thought he was, or he straight up lied to my face. But either way, he's dealing with something. The man died, was possessed, moved on, and came back to life again, all in the span of a year. It's not something you and I can sit here and say that we can understand. And it's an offense to him if we try to act like we understand. All we can do is be there for him. I… I don't know if what happened is necessarily something he can get over. And, you need to understand that." He put his hand on Hercules shoulder. "What happened was nobody's fault. But things are not the same as they were before you two left for Sumeria. You both can't keep pretending that it is."

Hercules remained silent for a long time. They both stared out into darkness, the smell of pine and wet earth their only company. Just when Jason started thinking he had over stepped his bounds, Hercules turned to face him. "Whatever I did or didn't do… I thought it was what was best for Iolaus. The last thing I would ever want to do in this life is hurt him."

Jason gave him a half smile. "I know that. To two of you have a bond. Now, don't get sappy with me. I know how you feel about me, you fool. The two of us, well the three of us actually, have a bond, too. But the thing with you and Iolaus is different. I'm not jealous, and I never have been. Besides, the both of you talk way too damned much for me to spend more than a few weeks with you anyway."

That got a snort of amusement out of Hercules. "Right. Between the two of us, who exactly has been the big bag of wind this evening?"

"Shut up," Jason said, playfully, but then sobered just as quickly. "Think about what I said, Hercules. I mean it. You weren't the only one who lost him. I don't think either of us can afford to lose him again."

* * *

 **Now**

" _Fifteen_ dinars?!" Iolaus exclaimed, making the people around him jump. He was standing at a pink tent, a loaf of bread, a pomegranate, and a block of cheese in front of him. He glanced around and lowered his voice, "Fifteen dinars? For that? That's not worth more than eight!"

The woman in front of him was not impressed. "Inflation," she stated.

"Yeah, you're not kidding." Maybe a lot had changed after all. "Look, I haven't got fifteen dinars. All I have are these." He dug out a few coins that were decorated with dragons. "They're called panas. They use them in India."

The tradeswoman looked dubious. "They have holes in them."

"They're still metal. See?" He bit one. "And they only have holes in them because they came off the guy I was staying with's money tree."

That only seemed to make things worse. She stared at him for a long moment, decided he was a lunatic, and started removing the food and putting it back.

Sighing, Iolaus put the panas back and opened his pack. "Stop, stop, stop. Look, I also have these." He pulled out a few folded up pieces of silk, shells, and small stone figurines. He'd had a feeling he was going to have to trade for goods and other services once he returned and had brought back a number of foreign items. He was saving the pearls for if he needed to hitch a ride somewhere, as he had done with the cargo ship captain to get him back to Greece. Iolaus put one fold of silk and a tortoise shell on the table. "These for the bread, pomegranate, cheese… and a water skin, if you have one."

The shop owner fingered the silk, seemingly in awe at its texture. "India, you say?"

"Yeah. It's called silk."

"You want to part with this?" She seemed amazed.

Iolaus shrugged. "They make a lot of it."

"Are your clothes made out of it?"

Iolaus took a step back as she tried to touch his shirt. "Um, yes… but I'm keeping that."

The woman scowled, but then took the folded silk and handed him back the shell. "I don't have a water skin, but you can have the rest."

Iolaus pocketed the shell and smiled in gratitude. "Thank you," he said as he gathered up the food.

"But you need to get yourself some dinars," the woman added as he was packing back up and walking away.

"I'll figure it out. Thanks."

That should last him for a bit, at least, until he figured out where to go. The first thought that came to his mind was Alcmene's, but he didn't know if Jason still lived there. _Or_ _if he's still alive_. Iolaus tried not to think about that. Jason had been in good health when he'd left. And they were _that_ old, for Zeus' sake.

No, he knew who he needed to find. Part of him was just really not looking forward to it. The other part was soaring, giddy even. Was he still traveling around, fighting warlords and monsters? Had he settled down again? A dark thought entered Iolaus' mind. _What if he had…?_ No. Surely he would have heard about that, even as far away as India.

Twenty years was a long time. Iolaus hadn't intended to be away for so long, but he'd also needed to. Maybe… maybe he was still angry with him. What if he didn't want to see him at all? Iolaus wouldn't blame him if he didn't. He had been gone a very, very long time with no correspondence. He had sent only one letter, once he had arrived in Chin, letting him know he had arrived safely. And to not come looking for him.

Iolaus sighed. The tradeswoman was right. He needed to get some Greek money. And, he had to find Hercules.

* * *

 **Then**

Still mulling over what Jason had said, Hercules softly opened the bedroom door so as not to disturb his friend and had intended to sneak quietly into the room. However, he found that he could not push the door open more than halfway. Perplexed, Hercules peaked his head in, squinting in the darkness to see what was blocking the doorway, only to see the slumped over form of Iolaus on the floor.

"That's just great." He knelt down next to Iolaus, who seemed to be out cold. "Jason," he called, as softly as he could.

The Argonaut paused as he made his way back to his own bedroom to poke his head in the door. "What is it?" Then he saw Hercules on the floor. "Dammit. I told him not take that stuff when he'd been drinking."

"I'm sure he will be really excited to tell you tomorrow that you were right."

Jason snorted. "At least he had enough sense not to crack his skull open. Even unconscious, he knows how to take a fall. Let's get him up."

Jason took Iolaus' feet and Hercules hefted him from his shoulders, and they started to lift him onto the bed when Iolaus suddenly started thrashing at them uncontrollably. Hercules heard Jason hiss in pain around the same time he got a well-timed hit from Iolaus to his right eye. They unceremoniously threw him onto the bed, and he calmed immediately.

"I thought that stuff was supposed to calm him down so he doesn't dream," Jason said indignantly, rubbing his chest. "He kicked me!"

"Yeah, well, he got my eye." Hercules stared down at the now peaceful form of Iolaus. "Does he look like he's smiling to you?"

"He better not be. Those herbs should have knocked him out until at least midday tomorrow." Jason threw one more withering glance at the blond before turning to leave. "Good luck."

"See you tomorrow, Jason."

Jason shut the door behind him, leaving Hercules alone with Iolaus and his thoughts. What Jason had told him hurt, deeply. That Iolaus couldn't and wouldn't confide in him made him feel like he had failed in some way. Maybe Jason was right, and he had just been too wrapped up in the fact that Michael had given Iolaus back that he didn't care about what had happened before. The dig about humans not bouncing back as quickly had stung. As part god, he healed physically and mentally from things faster than normal humans. But, he also felt things a lot more deeply than humans as well, as evidenced by his reaction to the murder of his family, and his downward spiral into depression and near insanity after the events in Sumeria. It wasn't that he bounced back quicker, it was that he'd had longer to come to terms with the fact Iolaus was really gone after Zarathustra had taken him to the Light. He had almost convinced himself he was over it, that he was done mourning, when Iolaus had miraculously popped back into his life. Iolaus had _seemed_ just as happy. But Hercules had forgotten that Iolaus had been dead much longer this time. Maybe… maybe Hercules had been wrong. Maybe he had missed something, some clue that Iolaus was suffering. And Jason was right; he couldn't understand what Iolaus had gone through, so he didn't know how to approach the subject. _Hey, Iolaus, how about you tell me about that time you were dead and a demon took over your body and killed a bunch of people?_ Not likely.

The other thing Jason had said, about it not being anyone's fault… that was something Hercules couldn't get past. He had told Jason what had happened in Sumeria, and the comment was about Hercules as much as Iolaus. He didn't care how many times he heard from people, even Iolaus himself, that his friend had given into Dahak willingly, he would never, _ever_ blame Iolaus for what had happened. It wasn't as if he had joyously embraced Dahak. Iolaus had been spiritually tormented and manipulated into doing it. Anything Iolaus felt at that time was based on lies. But Hercules had dragged him to that gods forsaken place to begin with. If Hercules had just stayed out of Sumeria… _What?_ he chided himself. _Nebula would have been killed in Iolaus' place, most likely. Would she have let Dahak in?_ He didn't have answers to those questions, and he learned in Eire not to deal in what-ifs. He'd also learned that his life was shaped by helping people. As much as he blamed himself for getting Iolaus into that situation in Sumeria, he wouldn't have said no, even if he had wanted to.

 _It's nobody's fault…_ Hercules snorted disdainfully. _Right._

He didn't want to disturb Iolaus, so he got some blankets out of the room's small cupboard. Hercules smiled fondly at it. Alcmene had purchased this one and the one in the front room for him and Iolaus when they were younger. Iolaus spent more time at this house then his own, and Alcmene always had the room ready for either one of them, or both. She had gotten tired of them leaving their gear strewn about everywhere when they had come to visit, so she had purchased the other cupboard so they could store it all out of the way.

He took a deep breath of one of the blankets he had pulled out. It smelled like her. Hercules suddenly felt very tired, and very sad. _If mother were here, she would know what to do._ He had always counted himself lucky that he had been raised by such a strong and kind woman, like Alcmene. Everything that was good in him, he got from her.

 _Everything is so screwed up, Mother. I don't know how to fix it._

Hercules unrolled several of the blankets onto the floor and laid down. He saw a small, dark shape out of the corner of his eye and rolled over to pick it up. It was the herb bag, and it was empty. He didn't know too much about the herbs, but he was pretty sure Iolaus wasn't supposed to take the whole bag of them. Hercules sighed. Jason said they should have knocked Iolaus out until tomorrow afternoon, but he hadn't known known his friend had taken them all. Hopefully, he would wake up before it got too late tomorrow.

 _Maybe some yard work will help,_ Hercules thought, yawning. _I don't care what Jason said, I saw cracks in the wall. And the garden has weeds…_

* * *

Hercules wasn't sure when he had drifted off, but he awoke with a start. Something was very wrong. He looked around the room, trying to figure out why he was on the floor, and then he had remembered that Iolaus had passed out and he and Jason had thrown him on the bed.

Which was empty.

Fully awake, Hercules jumped to his feet. The sheets were hanging roughly off the bed, and the bedroom door was open. Hercules cursed and ran out into the main part of the house. "Iolaus!" he whispered, as loudly as he could. Jason's door was still closed and Hercules didn't want to wake him up if he didn't need to. "Iolaus!" He stopped when he saw the door to the yard was open. Iolaus' vest was also on the floor. Hercules bent over to pick it up. It looked like Iolaus had literally ripped it off, and there was something wet on it.

Blood.

" _Jason!_ " Hercules yelled. He heard a crash from the back bedroom and without waiting for Jason, he tore out of the house as fast as he could. "Iolaus!" He looked around wildly, searching for any sign of where his friend had possibly gone off to. Hercules cursed again. _Those herbs. Either taking all of them with the wine made him worse, or didn't help at all._ He thought he heard a splash, and ran down to the cow pond but it was empty. _What in Tartarus?_

He turned as Jason came barreling out of the house, half dressed, carrying his jewel studded sword from when he had been Corinth's king. Hercules frowned. "What's that for?"

"Hell if I know! You were screaming! What's going on?"

Hercules thrust the vest he was still holding into Jason's empty hand. "Iolaus is gone."

Jason stared at it and then tossed it onto the ground. "What do you mean, he's gone? He was out like a light."

"I don't know! I woke up, and he was gone. The door was open and his vest was on the ground." Hercules ran a hand through his hair. "I thought I heard a noise, like water splashing, so I came down here."

Jason's brow furrowed. "There's that stream that's not too far from here. But how did he get over there so-"

Hercules wasn't listening. As soon as the words had left Jason's lips, he was tearing across the yard and into the nearby forest. He didn't even stop to see if Jason was following. Running as much on instinct than anything else, he made his way down the familiar path through the woods and then cut a sharp left, pushing branches and bushes out of his way as he made his way down to the beginnings of the river the stream lead into. It wasn't large, but it was deep enough for someone to drown in. Someone who was half asleep and probably hallucinating, as Hercules was pretty sure Iolaus was.

Hercules slowed down as he made his approach, listening carefully. He could hear more splashing and what sounded like a man's voice. He looked behind him, but Jason was nowhere to be found. As he made his way to the riverbed, he saw Iolaus standing in the middle of the water, about waist deep. He looked like he had lost the rest of his clothes somewhere, but Hercules wasn't paying much attention to that as he was Iolaus' arms, which had deep scratches and were bleeding profusely. Iolaus kept scooping up water with his hands and rubbing it on his chest and arms, muttering something indecipherable. What parts of his arms that weren't bleeding were pink, like they had been rubbed raw.

Hercules stripped his shirt off and ran into the water. "Iolaus! Iolaus, get out of there!"

Iolaus ignored him. He just kept scratching at his arms. Hercules could hear him muttering as he got closer, "Get it out, get out, get out…"

Hercules waded out to him and grabbed his shoulders just as Jason came crashing through the bushes. "What's going on?!" Jason exclaimed, but Hercules was too focused on Iolaus to give him a second glance.

"Iolaus," Hercules tried again, " _wake up_!"

The blond either couldn't hear him, or wouldn't. He shook his head violently, still tearing at his own skin, trying to pull off things only he could see. "It's in me, I have to get them out!"

Hercules shook him, then grabbed his hands to prevent him from hurting himself, but Iolaus slipped and almost went under water. "He's going to kill himself, Hercules, get him out of there!" Jason yelled.

"Iolaus!" Hercules shouted, practically in his friends face. Iolaus' eyes were squeezed shut, his face drawn and pale. He tried to pull his hands free again, kicking out under the water at the demigod.

Hercules grit his teeth, held both of Iolaus' arms down with one hand, and slapped him across the face.

He didn't use his full strength, because that could have easily knocked Iolaus' head off. But he gave it enough force to shock him into waking up. Iolaus' head snapped back, and he stood stock still. But then he turned back around, blinking and looking very confused. Hercules started to let his arms go, when Iolaus' eyes finally came into focus. He yelped and looked around wildly, startled and afraid, and almost slipped again and went under. Hercules grabbed him and held him upright. "Iolaus, it's okay! You were hallucinating! It's okay!"

Iolaus was breathing heavily, still trying to get his bearings. He started shaking, and Jason came down to about knee length in the water. "Bring him here. I grabbed some blankets after you ran off," he said to Hercules, who began to guide Iolaus to the riverbank.

"Come on, Iolaus, it's okay," Hercules soothed him. Iolaus said nothing, but he allowed Hercules to help him to Jason, who wrapped the blanket around his shoulders. He was still shivering violently. Jason put an arm around him. "I'll take him back to the house," he said.

"No," Hercules protested, "I've got him. Thanks, Jason. Just… grab my shirt for me?"

Jason looked like he wanted to argue, but then he nodded. "I'll grab some of the firewood from the stockpile, too. Get him inside, quickly."

Hercules nodded, and pulling Iolaus close, started making his way up the bank and to the path.

Iolaus stayed quiet through most of the walk, but he had stopped shivering. He pulled the blanket tighter around himself. "My arms hurt," he said, suddenly.

Hercules tried to keep the emotion out of his voice. "Yeah, I know. You were scratching at them."

Iolaus said nothing. The pain that Hercules felt at seeing his friend this lost and helpless was almost too much for him to conceal, but he didn't want to upset Iolaus anymore than he already was. "You lost your clothes somewhere, too."

"I noticed." Water from his hair kept dripping down his face and into his eyes. "Those herbs sucked."

It would have made Hercules laugh, or at least agree, under normal circumstances, but he just pulled Iolaus closer and kept walking up to the house.

Hercules finally got Iolaus inside and into a chair by the hearth. "Let's get you warmed up." He frowned at the ashes, and then looked up expectantly at the door. "Where the hell is Jason?" He started to go back outside when Iolaus moved faster than Hercules thought possible at that moment and grabbed his arm tightly.

"Don't leave."

Hercules looked into his friends eyes. He couldn't tell if Iolaus was crying or if it was the water still dripping from his hair, but his eyes were pleading, and scared. Hercules took a deep, calming breath, and then took his friends' hand in his. "I'm not going anywhere."

Iolaus nodded, and then sat back into the chair again. He didn't let go of Hercules' hand. The demigod sat down on the floor next to the chair. His back to Iolaus, he put his other hand to his face to try and hide the tears that threatened to overtake him.

The door opened then, and Jason walked in carrying an armload of firewood. He looked at them, his expression grave, and then placed the pile by the door. Grabbing a few logs, he walked over and threw them into the hearth.

"Hercules," Jason said, placing a hand on his shoulder, "get that started. I'm going to go make some tea." He saw Hercules' face. "Or, maybe I'll go grab something stronger."

"Thanks, Jason." He slowly removed his hand from Iolaus'. "I'm going to start the fire, okay?"

Iolaus just nodded, staring into nothingness. Hercules grabbed the flint rock and proceeded to get the fire going. The heat felt wonderful. He hadn't noticed how cold he was from trying to get Iolaus out of the water. If he was cold, Iolaus must be chilled to the bone. "Want me to get you some clothes?" he asked him.

"No."

Hercules pursed his lips, but then pressed him, "Iolaus, you need to put on something dry."

"I said, no," Iolaus answered, forcefully this time. "Just… Can you just sit here with me, and be quiet, and not try to fix every little thing? Just once?"

Hercules nodded. "I can do that."

"Good."

Hercules stoked the fire, and then sat back down next to Iolaus again. The floor was wet from the both of them dripping, but he didn't care. After a while, Hercules turned back to look at him. "Iolaus, you know that I would do anything you asked me to. You know that right?"

Iolaus took a shaky breath, closed his eyes, and nodded. "I know. That's what makes this so hard."

Hercules had nothing to say to that.

After a few moments, Iolaus' breathing slowed into a normal, steady rhythm. Hercules glanced over at him to confirm he was asleep, then he got up to get some dressings for Iolaus' arms.

Iolaus didn't wake as he tended to him, but he twitched a few times, and was still freezing cold. Hercules sighed, and putting the bandages down, picked Iolaus up and carried him back to the bedroom. He removed the wet blanket and placed Iolaus in the bed, covering him with the sheets that had been torn off earlier. He got the dry blanket that he had been using from the floor, draped it over Iolaus, and then went to find Jason.

The former king was sitting on the back porch, drinking out of a small skin. "Cure for what ails," he muttered as Hercules came to join him. He raised the drink to him. "Care for some?"

"I don't drink, you know that."

Jason scowled. "Don't be an idiot." He handed it to Hercules. The demigod gave Jason an annoyed look, and then sniffed the contents experimentally. "What is this?" he asked Jason, taking a sip.

"Ouzo."

Hercules swallowed, coughed, and handed it back to Jason. "It's terrible."

"It's cheap. I left all the good stuff with Iphicles." Jason took a long drink, swallowed and grimaced.

"He's going to leave," Hercules said, suddenly and so quietly that at first Jason thought he had imagined it. He looked Hercules over, and then handed him the liquor again.

"You're probably right."

Hercules took another sip. "What do I do?"

"Nothing," Jason said. "You do nothing, except drink that and wait for tomorrow."

For once, Hercules didn't have the energy to argue.

* * *

*Very long A/N: Hello everyone! Long time, no write. I actually haven't picked up the metaphorical pen in about seven years. I was scared to even start writing this, figuring I had forgotten how do create anything useful. So... why Herc, why now? Hercules was my jam from when I was 11 to about 16 or 17. I grew up on it, and my whole group of friends in high school would get together every week and watch it together. I was already heavily involved in theater at that point and had been writing since I was nine, so emotionally, I took the fifth season like a blow to the head and heart. As a fan, I was destroyed. As a writer, I was infuriated with the lack of development and the way the handled the entire situation with Iolaus and Dahak, and the complete lack of Iolaus and Hercules dealing with the aftermath of it all. So, I got the DVDs and promptly never watched the show again. I washed my hands of the whole situation and chocked it up to those idiots Alex K. and Bob O., who then went on to write more crap and get paid a bunch of money. But I digress...

I had had this story in the back of my mind since I was a teenager, and while my writing has certainly improved and the idea has changed somewhat, the whole concept of Iolaus dealing with Dahak, and Hercules and Iolaus dealing with their relationship, has not changed. I very strongly feel they breezed over it completely, and I don't know if it was a macho 90s thing or what, but it wasn't right. I don't care how tough you are, you do not die, get possessed by a demon, go to the Light for a few months, and then come back to life and continue like nothing happened. While Xena and Gabrielle get all these angsty, lets deal with our stuff episodes. O_o

I hated what they did to Iolaus. This was a character that had been there since day one, the first movie. And they treated him horribly. They killed him, had him succumb to jealousy and allow a demon to possess his body and run rampant throughout the world killing gods and people, and then disappear, supposedly forever. And there is the argument that the Light cured him of whatever harmful things Dahak had done to him, blah blah blah. And maybe that was Ren Pics excuse at the time. But it is something that bothered me, and rewatching the series has done nothing to change that.

My sister's boyfriend and my cousin's husband both served in Afghanistan and Iraq, and still to this day have problems associated with PTSD. With the death of Robin Williams, it really brought the whole subject of depression and mental illness to the forefront of people's minds. I myself have suffered from severe depression for years and have tried to kill myself. And like I said, you don't go through the things Iolaus went through and just walk away, TV show or not. This character was a person, with emotions and problems, and the way the glanced over it was so disrespectful. So, if people read this and think, "Iolaus would never leave again" or "Iolaus is being OOC" just remember that people with PTSD also behave out of character, because they are suffering. They are suffering from something that we cannot understand. Sometimes it shows the signs over time, for others it's like a light switch. And it is important to me that people understand that PTSD is not something that should be dismissed. It is so often overlooked or misdiagnosed, leading to people becoming addicts or committing suicide. After everything Iolaus went through, I would not be surprised in the least if he had PTSD or was traumatized in someway, and it's something I have been wanting to explore for a while. And let's face it, the fifth season was a traumatic event, for the character and for the fans. I am not familiar with all the symptoms of PTSD, but I have several friends who suffer from it, and the way that people with PTSD, depression, eating disorders, etc are treated is horrifying to me. And it was important to me that I show that things like what happened to Iolaus affected him, and should affect him, and a trauma like that would make you behave in ways that aren't always readily understood.

To Wite Love on Her Arms is a great organization to get behind, and if you would like any info, or if you or someone you know is suffering from depression or PTSD or is having suicidal thoughts, please visit their website. Wounded Warriors is also a great organization for the support of veterans*


	2. Chapter Two

**Chapter Two**

 **Now**

Iolaus had spent most of the remainder of the day in indecision. He had asked around Corinth to see if anyone knew where Hercules was these days, but he got conflicting reports that he was there in town and others that he was in Attica, of all places. A few had suggested that he try the Academy. Iolaus was more than a little confused. It wasn't like Hercules to stay in one place. Not one person had said the last time they had seen him was on the road to Mycenae, or Thebes, or wherever to take care of some problem or another. It was either Corinth, the Academy, or Attica. The Attica thing made his skin tingle; he didn't have fond memories of that place. _What in the world could be doing in Attica?_ Iolaus' first thought was that something terrible must of happened and Hercules been sent there to fix it, but from the amount of answers he was getting about how much time Hercules spent there, that couldn't be right. And he kept getting odd looks, as if questioning the whereabouts of the demigod was strange. A few people recognized him immediately, and were happy and surprised to see him. He didn't have any better luck with them.

"Try the house. He's probably there with Arcas," they said.

That was absolutely no help to Iolaus. _Arcas? Who the hell is Arcas?_ It didn't sound like a woman's name. _Oh. Of course…_ He had been gone for twenty years. Hercules had to have found someone to help him take care of things. Iolaus knew Hercules was capable of handling everything on his own, but maybe he had taken someone under his wing along the way. _That doesn't sound like him, though. He would be too concerned with getting them hurt. Or killed._ Iolaus shook his head. Hercules could never stop Iolaus from travelling with him, but he was too much of a worrier to let someone else risk their lives like the two of them had done every day. _Well… except for that other Iolaus._ He grit his teeth. Even after all this time, thinking about that situation still got under his skin. He took a calming breath. _It's in the past. It's all in the past. You're here now, and you need to find out just what in Shiva's name is going on._

After mulling over the decision for the better part of an hour, he decided he would go to Jason's first and let him know he was back. Jason, of all people, would be able to tell him where Hercules was. And who Arcas was. And why it seemed that, for all intents and purposes, everyone was acting as if Hercules was _retired_. The thought didn't sit well with Iolaus. _Jason will clear everything up_ , Iolaus thought. _If I don't give him a heart attack first._

Iolaus decided he would try the house, and if Jason wasn't there, he would head on to the Academy where Jason was still headmaster. It was nearly dark by the time Iolaus got there, and he had a strange sensation of déjà vu. He remembered, with a jolt, that the last time he was here was the day before he had left. He and Hercules hadn't gotten to Jason's until well into the evening then as well. _Things always come full circle,_ he thought to himself. In the distance, he could see the light from several candles glowing in the windows. _Good_ , Iolaus thought. _He's home_. He didn't think he would have made it to the Academy before the evening was completely over and had no desire to go traveling over there in the middle of the night. He was getting sleep deprived, and after the tremendously long boat ride from India to Egypt, and then Egypt to Corinth, he just wanted to crash somewhere familiar.

As he approached the house, which for some reason looked bigger than he remembered, he could make out a figure in the yard. From the look of it, the figure – a man – was shoveling something. He was standing off to the side of the house, near where the garden was. The candlelight from the house made him dark, almost backlit, so Iolaus had a hard time making out who it could be. It definitely wasn't Jason. Iolaus could tell from this distance that the man was young. Younger than Jason and Iolaus, at any rate. Iolaus slowed his approach. This was definitely the right house…

The younger man stopped shoveling as Iolaus approached, and wiping his hand across his brow, called out, "Can I help you?"

Iolaus stopped. For some reason, the young man didn't seem all that surprised to have a visitor this late in the day. "Uh, hi." He looked the man over. He was tall, taller than Iolaus. Of course, most people were, but this man was almost as tall as Hercules. If Iolaus had to guess, he would say the man was in his early to mid-twenties. He was dressed in black leather pants and boots, and a thin undershirt that was streaked with dirt. Iolaus could tell the guy was fit, but in the way that farmers were fit, more than a warrior's way. He had strong arms and broad shoulders, dark blond hair that was cut short, like Iolaus' was now, and deep blue eyes that were very familiar.

The man leaned on his shovel, an expectant look on his face. One of his eyebrows was raised in what Iolaus guessed was amusement. "Oh, um, right." Iolaus cleared his throat and looked around, uncomfortably. "I, uh, think I made a mistake. I'm actually looking for Jason? He, uh… used to live here." For it was becoming clear to Iolaus that perhaps Jason had sold the place. He just couldn't believe that Hercules had let him do it. Hercules wanted to be buried here, on the land with his mother, Deianeira, and the kids.

To his surprise, the younger man nodded. "Yeah, I know. He's up at the Academy now, full time. He still comes by." The man regarded him with a look of vague familiarity, as if he knew who he was. But Iolaus was positive he had never seen this man before in his life. _If he's twenty or so, he couldn't have been more than a baby when I left._ The man was looking him up and down, sizing him up. _Ooookay._ "Well," Iolaus began, turning away, "thanks. I'll just head on up to the Academy." _This is beyond weird. I am going to have to have a word with Jason about this. I can't_ believe _he would get rid of Alcmene's house._

He started back towards the stone wall Hercules had put in place decades before, when the man said, "Wait." He took a step towards Iolaus, as if to stop him.

Iolaus turned halfway back around, expectantly. The man hesitated, as if unsure if he should speak, but there was a new brightness in his eyes. Iolaus recognized it as excitement.

"You," the man said, pointing at him, "are Iolaus."

Iolaus blinked in absolute astonishment. "Yes," he answered slowly.

The man smiled widely, and Iolaus got that familiar feeling again that he had seen him before. "You know my father."

Iolaus looked closer at the young man now. "Really?"

"Yeah. You used to travel together." He was still smiling. A goofy, dumb smile that Hercules used… to…

And the realization hit Iolaus like a ton of bricks. _His father and I used to travel together. This is Jason's house… No._ Alcmene's _house, that Hercules grew up in…_

 _Oh. My. Gods._

The man held out his hand for Iolaus to grasp. "I'm Arcas," he introduced himself, "Hercules is my father."

* * *

 **Then**

The next morning came too soon for Jason. To his utter annoyance, Hercules was already up and in the garden, and to his surprise, Iolaus was sitting at the kitchen table. Jason approached him warily. "Morning, sunshine."

Iolaus grunted. His arms were bandaged up, and he had found some clothes somewhere. His hair was a mess, and he had deep, dark circles under his eyes, but he also looked determined. "I made some breakfast," he said between sips of what Jason hoped was water.

"Thanks. Thank you for also not cooking naked."

"Funny."

Jason made himself a plate of fruit and breads with honey, and then joined Iolaus at the table. "I'm not going to ask how you're feeling, because I'm sure it's terrible. Do you remember anything from last night?"

Iolaus rubbed his eyes. "A bit."

"Don't lie to me."

Iolaus took some of the bread and dipped it in honey, but didn't meet Jason's eyes. "I remember," he said. "I tried to tear my own skin off." He popped the bread in his mouth and then looked back up at Jason. "Right?"

"You think those bandages are for show? Now, you can fool that demi-divine idiot out there who would rather pull up weeds and be knee deep in manure than come in here and confront you, but you're not fooling me. So, if you're going to do this, make it fast."

"Do what?"

Jason slammed his hand down on the table, making Iolaus jump. "Don't fuck with me this morning, Iolaus! I'm really not in the mood. In case you forgot already, Hercules and I were up in the middle of the night dragging your ass out of the river."

"What do you want from me, Jason? An explanation? I can't give you one. I don't know what's happening to me."

"Hercules said you were fine. That this started happening two or three weeks ago. But that's not true, is it?"

Iolaus said nothing. He folded his arms across his chest and looked out the window. He was getting really tired of Jason already. "This is not how I wanted this morning to go," he said, finally.

"Yeah, well, you and me both. You've decided, then?"

"Decided what?"

Jason gave him a dirty look. "You're leaving."

Iolaus got up. "I haven't decided yet, no."

"Yes, you have. Listen, I'm not going to stop you. You need to do whatever you think you need to do. It's obvious to me that you need some help."

Iolaus nodded. "Right. I guess you'd know all about that." He didn't mean it. He was just trying to get Jason angry, because then it would be easier.

Jason, to his credit, didn't rise to the bait. "Yes, I would." He got up from the table as well, and turned Iolaus to face him. "You're my friend. One of my oldest friends. I'm going to support you, regardless of what you decide. But, I would be lying if I said I want you to go."

Iolaus didn't want to hear this. He had woken up this morning, naked, his arms throbbing and bandages covering most of the skin. He was hoping he had had dreamt he'd run out of the house last night and into the river but when he couldn't find his clothes and saw Hercules' wet pants hanging up to dry off, he couldn't deny what had happened. As he went through the cupboards to find some clothes, he knew he couldn't put it off any longer. Jason was right; he couldn't lie. Whatever was wrong with him, it wasn't getting better. He needed to get help for whatever was causing these nightmares, and he couldn't do it here in Greece. The decision killed him. And he wanted Jason to yell at him, scream at him, anything to make it easier for Jason to be angry at him so it wouldn't hurt him so much when Iolaus left. But he couldn't do that. Not to him, and not to their friendship. "Damn you anyway," Iolaus sighed, his voice cracking, and pulled Jason in for a hug. "I'm going to miss you, you know that?"

Jason hugged him back. "I'll miss you, too."

Pulling himself together, Iolaus broke the hug and gave Jason a curious look. "How did you know? That I had decided to leave?"

Jason put his hands on Iolaus' shoulders and sighed deeply, as if about to divulge some great secret. "I saw your stuff on the porch," he deadpanned.

Iolaus smacked his arm. Jason winced in mock pain, but then got serious. "You're going to have to tell him, you know."

Iolaus swallowed. "I can't. I don't know how." He ran a hand through his hair. "I don't even know if I should."

"You can't just leave either, Iolaus. It would destroy him. You didn't see him, after what happened last year. I won't let him go through that again."

"I wouldn't just leave, you know that. I could never do that to him. I… I love him too much." He felt his throat tighten and he coughed, trying to cover it up. Jason rolled his eyes. He knew how Iolaus felt about showing what some considered to be less than manly emotions.

"Hang on a second," Jason said, and went to the back porch. Iolaus wiped his eyes. _Gods, why does this have to be so hard…_ When Jason came back, he was carrying what Iolaus assumed was a small wine skin. He handed it to Iolaus. "Have some liquid courage."

"What is this?" Iolaus asked, taking it. "Smells gods awful."

"Cheap ouzo," Jason said, making Iolaus bark a laugh. "I got Hercules to drink it last night."

Iolaus stared at Jason, wide-eyed. "You didn't."

Jason nodded. "Oh yeah, I did. He could barely choke it down. The baby."

Iolaus burst out laughing. Jason joined in, and soon they had collapsed into hysterics, barely able to stand up. Once they had calmed down, Iolaus managed to uncork the skin and drink the remaining contents. "Wow, you weren't kidding. Are you sure this isn't sheep piss?"

"You would know," Jason shot back, making Iolaus start laughing again. "You're a pain in my ass, you know that. Just do me a favor?"

Iolaus tossed the skin on the table. "Sure."

"Don't come back until you're ready. And I mean that. I know you. You'll feel guilty. You'll want to come back, for him. But you can't. It's not fair to either of you. And I can't deal with this again. I'm too old."

Iolaus' expression sobered, and he gave Jason a short nod.

"And come back in one piece, for the gods' sake," Jason added, and hugged Iolaus once more.

* * *

Hercules had gotten up at dawn. He hadn't been able to go back to sleep after the events of last night, and whatever it was Jason had gotten him to drink had given him heartburn. _That's what you get_ , he scolded himself. He vowed to never let Jason trick him into drinking any of his secret liquor stash again.

Iolaus was still asleep, and there had been no other instances of him hallucinating or trying to harm himself, so Hercules had decided to pass the time by working around the house. He knew it would drive Jason insane, and decided the former king deserved it.

A few hours later, he could hear both Iolaus and Jason talking and moving around in the kitchen, so he went down to the bathhouse to get cleaned up. He knew he was just stalling, but he stubbornly refused to care.

He was walking back to the house, having devised a strategy and answer for every argument Iolaus could give him, when he stopped in his tracks in front of the door. There was a pile of stuff sitting there. Iolaus' stuff - his bow, sword, and two packs of clothes and rations. He stared at it, unmoving. _This is_ not _happening._ He didn't know how long he was standing there, but he felt someone's eyes on him and looked up to see Jason peering at him through the window. Hercules just gave him a wave.

Jason scowled and indicated the barn with a nod, but Hercules already knew. _He's not going to make this easy, is he?_ he asked himself. The answer, of course, was no. _Okay. Time for Plan B._ He picked up Iolaus' stuff and carried it with him as he made his way to the barn.

He found Iolaus toward the back, throwing knives against one of the empty stalls. He was wearing some of his old clothes. Hercules couldn't for the life of him figure out where Iolaus had dug them up from. They were pre-Anya vest, that was for sure.

"Hey," Hercules said, "I didn't expect you to be up yet."

Iolaus threw his last knife and watched it land deep in the wood, then walked over to remove it and the others he had thrown. "Yeah… well, I have some stuff to do today," he said, coming back over and starting the process over again.

"I noticed." Hercules dropped Iolaus things onto the ground. Iolaus paused, knife still in his hand, and finally turned to look at him.

"I see you brought me my things. That was nice."

"Well, I figured you were ready to go already since you were in such a hurry to pack. I thought you wanted to spend some more time with Jason, but I guess not."

Iolaus turned away from him and sunk another knife into the wood.

"So," Hercules continued, "I'm ready when you are. Let's go."

Iolaus sighed. _He's doing this on purpose._ "Don't do this, Herc."

"Do what?"

Iolaus threw his last knife as hard as he could, burying it hilt deep into the wooden stall. "This!" He gestured around. "You know I have to…" He stopped, and shook his head. "You know I have to go. Especially after what happened last night."

To his surprise, Hercules nodded. "I know. Last night was… bad. I can't stand seeing you like that."

Iolaus blinked. Maybe he was wrong, and Hercules wasn't going to put up a fight after all. "Yeah… I can't risk something like that happening again."

"I know. So, I was thinking, we could go see my cousin Asclepius."

 _Well, there goes that theory._ Iolaus looked down at the sandy floor of the barn, shaking his head. "Herc…"

"Or the Oracle at Delphi. Maybe she can look in your mind, try to figure out what's-"

"I'm _not_ going to some stupid oracle!" Iolaus interrupted him.

Hercules waited a beat before asking the obvious question. "Then why is all your stuff packed?"

Iolaus made an annoyed sound deep in his throat. "You know why, Hercules." He looked away, as if suddenly very interested in the wooden wall. "Please, don't make this any more difficult than it already is."

Hercules said nothing, but Iolaus could tell that he was trying to hold it together. "You're leaving," the demigod said finally. "Again." There was no distinguishable emotion in his voice.

Now it was Iolaus' turn to be silent. He just took a shaky breath, rubbed the back of his neck, and continued to look around the barn, trying to avoid Hercules' gaze.

The demigod shook his head firmly. "No. No, I'm not going to let you do this."

"Hercules…"

"No! No, you can't _do_ this, Iolaus!"

Iolaus snapped his head back around, angry. "Do _what_ , Hercules? Try and get better? Try to figure out what's going on, make some… some sort of sense of everything that's happened to me?"

Hercules waved his hand around the barn. "You can do that here!"

The sad look Iolaus gave him was almost patronizing. "No, Hercules," he said softly, "I can't."

Hercules suddenly slammed his hand against one of the wooden door frames so hard, sawdust rained down on both their heads. Iolaus jumped in surprise. "Why?! You just got back. We just got _this_ back!" The demigod gestured between himself and Iolaus. "Why would you want to tear that apart again?"

 _Again?_ There was a pause while Iolaus processed that accusation. He doubted Hercules had even realized what he had said, or that he had even meant it the way Iolaus was taking it. He worked his jaw furiously, obviously trying not to lash out. "Is that what you think I'm doing?" he asked, incredulously. "You really think I just want to… throw away everything and take off, like it's nothing?"

Hercules frowned. "No! No, of course I don't think that…"

"Then why don't you understand? I can't _do_ this here! I've got to go back!"

"Go back?" Hercules asked in confusion, but then it suddenly dawned on him what Iolaus meant. His jaw dropped in disbelief. "Go back to the _East_?"

Iolaus took another deep breath, and then nodded. They both stood in silence in the middle of the barn, staring at each other, as Hercules' mind slowly worked its way around what Iolaus was telling him. He leaned back against one of the barn walls, stunned. Iolaus realized that Hercules must have assumed that he was going to try and leave, but had obviously not been prepared for something to this extent. No matter what he said, or where he was going, Hercules was going to take it badly. He knew that. It's why he had left his pack out there, for Hercules to see. It's why he had run off to the barn, where they had used to play around as kids, to try and maybe soften the blow. He doubted it was going to work. In fact, he knew it wasn't going to work. The whole idea of trying to make the situation better just seemed absurd, now that he thought about it.

Hercules was still leaning against the barn wall. He took a few deep breaths before asking, tentatively, "When did you decide this?"

Iolaus felt his mouth going dry. He had been dreading that question. Swallowing, he ran his hands through his hair again, then looked back up at Hercules. "A while ago," he admitted, sadly. "I just didn't know it yet." He cleared his throat, then continued, "These feelings and nightmares, they've uh… been happening longer than you think. I've been feeling like this for a while, Hercules. I just… I just couldn't tell you." Hercules stared, dumbfounded. That had hurt him. Iolaus could tell. He stared back down at the dusty floor again, miserably.

The demigod pushed himself off the wall and turned around in a slow circle, trying to gather his thoughts. "I don't… I just don't understand. Why couldn't you tell me?" he asked, finally. His voice sounded pained, and Iolaus felt like he had taken a knife to the heart. Again.

He gave the demigod a noncommittal half shrug. "I don't know."

Hercules pressed his lips together in a thin line, not buying it. "Yes, you do. Why didn't you talk to me?"

Suddenly, the rage came back in full force. "Because I _couldn't_ , Hercules! You have no idea! _No idea_ what it's been like for me!" The words were tumbling out, and Iolaus couldn't have stopped them even if he wanted to. "I didn't… I didn't know what to do, how to be! It was easier to joke around, pretend, and-and _you_! You just went along with it! You were just _so_ happy to have me back, like I was some sort of… of… _thing!_ " He regretted that last part instantly, but it was too late.

"Don't you _ever_ say that again!" Hercules all but shouted, face contorted in anger. Iolaus winced. "You are not a thing. You're my brother. How could you even _think_ that?"

"How can you not get this?" Iolaus asked in disbelief. "Because it _made_ me think that!" He didn't even have to explain what he meant by 'it'. Iolaus laughed bitterly, and nodded to himself. "Of course. How can you possibly understand?"

Hercules tried to keep the impatience out of his voice. "I'm trying to understand, Iolaus. But you won't let me."

"You _can't_ understand!" Iolaus shouted angrily, and then paused, as if trying to find the right way to say something. "Remember… remember about a month ago, when we stopped in Thebes?"

Hercules' brow furrowed in confusion. He had no idea where Iolaus was going with this. "Yes..?"

"Well… Thebes was one the first places I… Dahak… hit, when we got back to Greece." Even now, it was hard for Iolaus to differentiate between himself and the demon, his memories had gotten so jumbled.

Things suddenly clicked for Hercules. He remembered how oddly the people had reacted to them. Or, more specifically, Iolaus. "Oh," he said, dully.

Iolaus didn't hear him. He had a look in his eyes, like he was far away, somewhere else entirely. "Did you see the way they looked at me?" His voice was tight and constrained, and full of – Hercules was disturbed to hear – self-loathing. "The fear? The hatred? You don't know what that's like, Hercules. People don't hate you, they're not afraid of you. Oh, the gods hate you, but more like… you're a bug or something they want to squash. People aren't _afraid_ of you. They want to kick your ass because they want to prove to themselves or somebody else that they've got the stones, but no one has _ever_ looked at you with real fear." He paced back and forth, voice rising in intensity. "Dahak didn't tell them all who he really was, oh no, that would ruin his plan. It said it was me. That it was _me_ , because people _trusted_ me. Those people, when they saw me that day, they didn't see Iolaus the hero. They saw the Iolaus who tricked them and killed their families and cut their hearts out and _ate them!"_ Iolaus spun back around to glare at Hercules then with fiery intensity. "Can you honestly tell me you know what that's like?!"

Hercules looked down at his boots and shook his head. "No," he admitted. It sounded empty and hollow. He had no idea these things were still tormenting Iolaus. He really didn't even know half of what Dahak had done to people. He suddenly felt like he had done his friend a huge disservice. He was supposed to Iolaus best friend, his brother. But, he hadn't wanted to push him. He thought the jokes, the playing around were what Iolaus had wanted. It didn't even occur to him that it may have been a front of some sort. He realized, sadly, that he had failed, miserably. He had failed Iolaus in every possible way. "No, I don't know what that's like, Iolaus. And I'm sorry."

"Then why don't you understand why I have to go?" Iolaus asked, pitifully. "I can't stay here anymore. How can they not see that thing in me? _I_ can barely look at myself without seeing that thing in me!"

"We can… find some way to work through it," Hercules told him. He knew he was beginning to sound desperate. "If this is causing you that much pain, you know I'm here for you. I can help you-"

"No, you can't!" Iolaus' voice was sounding more and more distraught, and he had started pacing. "You can't help me! No one can help me! That's why… That's why I have to go, Hercules."

Hercules had never seen Iolaus so shaken up, and it disturbed him. "Why? Just… tell me why, okay? Why all the pretense, why didn't you just tell me the truth? And don't say it's because we were caught up in the moment, or because you wanted to spare my feelings."

"But that's true!" he yelled, his voice hoarse. "I _was_ trying to hide it, I wanted to go back to the way things were, believe me. And… for a while… it worked. But then I…" He trailed off, and when it seemed he wasn't going to elaborate, Hercules blew the air out through his lips, frustrated.

"Just _talk_ to me, Iolaus. What are you afraid of? That I'll be angry with you? I don't blame you for what happened!"

That only seemed to make things worse. "You should," he muttered, so quietly that Hercules had to strain to hear. "And… lately, being around you is… it's…" He gestured absently. "It's not… helping me very much."

"What's that supposed to mean?" The demigod wracked his brain, thinking back over the last few months, trying to remember if he had said or done anything that would have brought all this on, aside from apparently not trying hard enough to get Iolaus to talk.

"I don't know! That's the point. I don't know what's happening to me. And I can't keep pretending like nothing has changed, that I'm not different-"

"But you're _not_ different!" Hercules argued.

"Yes, I am!" Iolaus shot back, emphasizing each word. "This is exactly what I'm talking about! You just want to pretend everything is fine, and I can't do that anymore. It's exhausting! I can't get better because of _you_!"

The minute the words were out of his mouth, Iolaus wished for everything he could take them back. He could almost see them hanging out there in the air over Hercules's head, taunting him.

The demigod looked like he had been punched in the gut. "Oh," he finally managed to choke out. "I see."

"That came out wrong," Iolaus said, quickly, but Hercules shook his head.

"No, it didn't. And I only acted like that because I thought that's what you wanted. We tried talking about Dahak, remember? _You_ were the one who wanted to forget it ever happened, and I didn't blame you. Why this sudden change? What happened? Was it just the thing in Thebes? I'm just trying to understand…"

Iolaus wanted to tell him everything at that moment, about Dahak, about the Light. How at first he had been so happy that Michael had sent him back that he didn't understand what he had meant by "condemned". How could it be a punishment to be alive again, with Hercules? But then reality had sunk in. He'd gotten tired; his body hurt, his mind hurt. He'd forgotten what it was like to _have_ a body, that it couldn't just magically repair itself. He'd forgotten how it had felt to be hungry, to have to sleep, the rush of fear and adrenaline when he was in a fight. It had felt good at first, a constant reminder that it wasn't a dream, that he really was back. But then he started to remember things… things that the Light had blissfully wiped away so he wouldn't have to feel the pain. There was no pain in paradise. There was pain here. And he'd given paradise away, disobeyed the rules to help Hercules. That was why he was so angry with him. He realized that now.

He would do it again, and he knew that. He would sacrifice anything for Hercules. He'd died for him once. And he'd do that again, too. He didn't know why he couldn't get past this; why he, for the first time in his and Hercules' partnership, wanted… what? A thank you? It was ridiculous, but there it was.

But he didn't tell Hercules any of this. He couldn't, and no matter how hard he tried to make the words come out of his throat, he just stood there, breathing heavily, hair in his eyes. He didn't want him to know. He knew how Hercules would get. He'd blame himself for Iolaus getting kicked out, and the tiny voice inside his head, the one filled with bitter resentment, the one he'd been ignoring his whole life, the one that Dahak had found buried deep inside him… That tiny voice wanted, just once, for something to be about him. That, and he couldn't stand to cause Hercules anymore pain. The both of them had been through too much of it recently.

He noticed that Hercules was looking him over suspiciously and he was immediately wary. Remembering something Jason had said the night before, Hercules began, "Is this…" He didn't know how to say it. "Is this about the other Iolaus?"

That threw Iolaus for a loop. His eyes widened to the size of saucers, and he gave Hercules a look that clearly said the question was so absurd that it bordered on the insane. His mouth opened and closed a few times, as if he was trying to remember how to speak, and took a bunch of hair in each hand as if about to pull it out. Hercules realized with chagrin that he had maybe said the Wrong Thing.

"Oh, my gods," Iolaus said in disbelief. "Oh my gods, really? _Really?!_ You want to talk about _him_? You think this is about _him_?!"

Hercules instantly tried to recover. "No, I just thought-"

"I can't believe we're having this conversation!" Sudden realization came over Iolaus' face. "Wait… Did Jason say something to you?" Hercules' silence was all he needed to hear. "That son of a _bitch_!" he muttered angrily, unable to contain himself.

"He was worried about you!" Hercules snapped. "And you can talk to Jason, but not to me?"

"See!" Iolaus said triumphantly, as if all had become clear. "See that _right there_! All about you, all about Hercules! And this isn't about the other fucking Iolaus! Even though… even though…"

"Even though _what?_ "

Iolaus glared at him darkly. "I had to hear about him from Jason, Hercules. _Jason_! Not from you! How could you do that to me?"

Hercules sputtered indignantly. "That is absolutely not true! I told you about him."

"You told me barely _anything_! I had to hear from Jason that you two were traveling around together. People thought he was _me_! Just like they thought _Dahak_ was me!" He took a deep breath. This isn't where he wanted the conversation to go. He was getting off track. And he didn't want to think about that jester anymore. "This isn't about him, or you, this is about _me_."

Hercules sighed. "I know that. And I don't want any of this to come between us. Not after what happened last year. You're my brother, Iolaus. You know that."

"I know. No, I do, I know," he added at Hercules' expression. "And you know I feel the same way about you. But if you…" Iolaus stopped, trying to compose himself. "If you love me as much as you say you do, then… you'll let me leave, Herc. Come on, let's be honest… you don't really need me." This was an old argument, and one he hoped was going to work again now, but to his dismay it seemed Hercules wasn't going to fall for it.

"This is sounding an awful lot like a few years ago, when you tried to break us up when that woman… fell." He chose his words carefully; Iolaus was still, to this day, sensitive about what had happened. "You were consumed with doubts then, too, and I let you leave, because I knew you just needed to get your head on straight. But this isn't the time for you to have space, Iolaus. You should be here, with your friends, and people who care about you."

"This is so _not_ the same thing," Iolaus insisted.

Hercules could feel himself getting angry, and he suddenly didn't care. "I can't believe after everything we've been through together, after everything we both went through last year, that you want to run away again." Iolaus stiffened. "Dammit, that's not what I meant."

Iolaus shrugged halfheartedly. "Well, you're right. No, you are," Iolaus said as Hercules started to argue. "That's what I did, right? When I dropped that woman, when Anya died... I ran away. With Anya I at least stuck around long enough to make sure the kids would be okay and then I dumped them on her mother and took off. I left them, because I couldn't listen to them ask me over and over and over when their mother was coming home. I was a coward."

"You're not a coward, Iolaus."

"No, I was. I-I left my children so I could selfishly get myself together, and then… and then they left me, too. And I couldn't deal with my grief. So I just made it go away. For crying out loud, you told me about Deianeira and the kids and I couldn't even-" A dry sob suddenly escaped out of him and he put his head in his hands, trying to hide his emotions. Hercules tried to put a hand on his shoulder to comfort him but he pulled away. "Don't." He took a few deep breaths to steady himself, then continued, "I couldn't even be there for _you_. All I could say was 'Oh, no'. And then I just stood back and let you go off on a temple smashing rampage, like an idiot! Who does that?!"

Hercules reached out again to put a hand on Iolaus' shoulder. This time, he didn't stop him. "You thought you were doing right by me. And… I wasn't the most pleasant person to be around then." That got a snort of amusement out of Iolaus, making Hercules smile. He squeezed his friend's shoulder. "I, uh… haven't heard you talk about Anya in a long time." Iolaus sniffed slightly but said nothing, and Hercules realized in that instant that there was no changing his mind. Just like when Iolaus couldn't change Hercules' mind, after he had sat there in front of his house with the smoldering remains of his family still inside, and he had calmly told him how he was going to seek his revenge on Hera. "People deal with pain in different ways, Iolaus."

Iolaus desperately grabbed Hercules' arms then, making the demigod start. The smaller man was looking up at him with so much pain in his eyes that Hercules couldn't believe he had missed it all this time. "If you believe that, then let me do this. _Please_. I need to do this, for me." His grip on Hercules' arm tightened even more and he nodded up at him, as if encouraging Hercules to just give in. "You have to let me go. You have to let me figure this out, in my own way."

Hercules felt like he was in his own worst nightmare, unable to wake up. He didn't want Iolaus to go. He didn't think he could deal with being here without him for a second time. The very thought made his chest constrict painfully. "I don't want to lose you," he finally managed to choke out.

"You're not losing me." Iolaus had tears in his eyes, and he made no move to wipe them away. "But, if I keep on like this, you will. And that's why I have to go."

Hercules blinked away his own tears. "When are you leaving?"

"Pretty much now."

Hercules just nodded to that. Then he asked the question that he didn't know if he really wanted the answer to. "When are you coming back?"

Iolaus' body heaved. He took a deep breath, and admitted, regretfully, "I don't know."

The two men stood there in the barn, staring at each other. Hercules felt like there was so much more that needed to be said, but neither of them could bring themselves to say it. In a move eerily familiar, he embraced Iolaus tightly, as he had done not so long ago.

"No goodbyes," Iolaus told him, softly. "We don't say goodbye, remember?"

Hercules hugged Iolaus tighter to himself. "Yeah. So, I guess I'll… see you around."

That was too much for Iolaus. He broke down, his body shaking, and all Hercules could do was hold his friend as he cried. Silent tears rolled down Hercules' face and into Iolaus' hair. _This isn't happening_ , he kept thinking. _Please tell me this isn't happening. Don't leave me…_

Iolaus pushed away from him suddenly. "I can't. I can't do this. I have to go." He wiped his face with his hands, and then wiped his hands on his pants, looking anywhere but at Hercules. "I have to go." He quickly spun on his heel, grabbed his belongings, and escaped into the yard, the barn door swinging shut behind him with gloomy finality. Hercules made no move to stop him. His emotions were threatening to consume him, and he didn't even know if he had the strength to follow.

He had no idea how long he stood there alone, but he distantly heard the sound of horses and what could be a wagon. Jason must have called someone to take Iolaus to the port. He figured he should probably be there when Iolaus left but he was having a hard time forcing his legs to move. If he didn't get going soon, Jason would come looking for him. He slowly put one foot in front of the other, like a zombie, and headed out into the yard.

There was indeed a wagon. Hercules realized with a start that it was Jason's. He had gotten one of the farmhands - Amphicles - to pull it around, and they were loading Iolaus' belongings and other things into the back of it. "Have some things to take to market anyway," Hercules could hear Jason saying. "Where are you going to go?"

Iolaus' voice was much stronger than it had been in the barn. "The East. Chin, mostly. But I dunno… I was thinking about maybe spending some time in India. Gabrielle wrote to me a bit ago. She said it helped her, after her own experiences with Dahak."

 _Oh yeah_ , Hercules thought numbly. _It had gone after Gabrielle, too._

"India?" Jason repeated. He seemed impressed. Iolaus and Jason smiled sadly at each other, and then embraced, Jason patting Iolaus affectionately on the back. "Good luck to you, my friend. I really hope you find what you're looking for."

"Me, too." Iolaus said, pulling back as Jason went to give Amphicles instructions for what he wanted sold and traded in Corinth after dropping Iolaus off.

"You're taking a ship?" Hercules asked, trying to sound casual.

Iolaus turned around to face him, awkwardly. "Yeah, I was just going to try my luck and see if a merchant vessel was heading to Thrace. From there I can go through Persia, and just… keep going."

Hercules nodded. Jason walked by and clapped Hercules on the back, and then retreated back to the house to give the two men some privacy. Hercules didn't want to go through what had just transpired in the barn again, so he just echoed Jason. "Be safe," he added. His grief threatening to overcome him again, he turned around to walk back to the house before Iolaus could see it.

"Herc, wait."

"It's too hard, Iolaus," Hercules said, without turning around. But then he felt something being pushed roughly into his hand. Startled, he looked down to see Iolaus' amulet. He whirled around to face him. "What are you doing?"

"Take it," Iolaus said, backing up back toward the wagon.

Hercules held it back out to him. "You can't give me this."

"You _take it_." Iolaus demanded. "Give it back to me when I come home." Without another word, Iolaus climbed into the front of the wagon and commanded Amphicles, "Go. Go now."

He didn't turn back around as the farmhand smacked the horses lightly with the reigns and steered them up the road.

Hercules continued to stand there, holding the amulet, watching them drive away. He kept half expecting it to turn around, or for Iolaus to jump back out and run back down the path. But it just kept going. Hercules watched them until he couldn't even see the tiny speck of the wagon in the distance any longer.

It was done. He slowly turned around and walked silently back to the house where Jason was waiting on the porch.

"Hercules," Jason began, but he ignored him. He pushed the door open as if it had the weight of the world, and made is way over to the kitchen table. His legs felt like they were made of something heavy, like steel. He sank down into one of the chairs, his face blank.

Jason didn't know whether to be worried or be afraid. He settled for both. Following Hercules, he shut the door and then came and sat down in one of the chairs across from the demigod. "You okay?" he asked. Hercules glared. "No, I didn't think so."

Hercules hadn't lessened his grip on the amulet. Jason glanced down at it, and then back up at Hercules. "He gave you that?" Hercules just nodded, absently. _Okay_ , Jason thought. _It's the silent and brooding stage. I can deal with that. At least it's not the tear the room apart and set things on fire stage._ "Well, today has been terrible." Hercules still said nothing. He glanced at Jason, then back down at the amulet. Then with ferocious force, he slammed his fist down on the table. Jason's teeth clanged together and he could swear he felt the whole house move. _Oh boy…_ "Great. We've moved on to the smashing stage." Jason got up from the table to leave the demigod to his rage, when he heard Hercules start laughing. Jason's eyes widened. This was not a good sign.

Hercules mumbled something unintelligible. "What?" Jason asked, warily coming back over and sitting down again.

"He's not coming back," Hercules stated.

Jason shook his head. "You can't know that, Hercules. Don't do this to yourself."

Hercules dangled the amulet in front of Jason. "He gave this to me."

Jason nodded. "I know. I was there."

Hercules laughed again. "He knew. He _knew_ I wore his amulet after it happened, because I told him. Every day in Sumeria, every day he was dead, I wore this, because I could pretend that he was with me somehow."

Jason eyed it and Hercules carefully.

"Don't you get it?" Hercules asked, sadly. "He gave this to me because he's not coming back, Jason. He wanted me to have a part of him. He wants me to act like he's dead."

"Don't be ridiculous-" Jason started, but Hercules jumped to his feet.

"Well, I'm not going to let him do this."

"Oh, yes you are!" Jason exclaimed and ran after him. He planted himself firmly between Hercules and the front door. "If you go after him now, he'll never forgive you. And then he'll _definitely_ never come back." Hercules tried to push him out of the way but Jason slapped his arm down. "I mean it, Hercules. You have got to let him do this on his own."

"He shouldn't have given this to me!" Hercules shouted, and threw the amulet across the room.

"He gave it to you because you need it, and because he loves you, you jackass!"

"And what am I supposed to do with it?"

Jason shrugged. "I don't know. Burry it, toss it in the river, crush it into little tiny pieces… Or, here's a strange idea, why don't you _wear_ it."

Hercules crossed his arms and shook his head. "No."

"I don't care what you do with it. I can't talk to you when you're like this," Jason snarled and stalked off into his bedroom. "I liked you better last year when you were insane!"

Hercules clenched his fists as Jason pushed passed him. " _I was_ _not insane_!"

"And if you tear apart one piece of your mother's house, Hercules, I'll have your head."

"I did not go crazy, Jason!"

The former king stopped, his eyebrows raised in mock surprise. "Really? So what else do you call it when you disappear for months on end and try to drown yourself? Or go off with some Eirish war goddess that you barely know? Or carry on with some duplicate Iolaus from Tartarus knows where?"

"Not that again," Hercules sighed.

"Look, I'll never understand that business and frankly, at this point, I really don't care. But you are not going after him, Hercules. I won't let you."

Hercules' nostrils flared. He started to argue, but deep down, he knew Jason was right. It just went against his nature to sit there and do nothing. _Iolaus left because you wouldn't let him deal with his issues the way he wanted to_ , he reminded himself. "I just… can't believe he's really gone. That's all."

"He's not _gone_ , Hercules. He's going to the East. And he'll be back. Not even death could keep the two of you apart."

"Yeah." Hercules bent to pick up the discarded amulet. "Is it okay if I stay here tonight?"

Jason gave him a look. "Don't be ridiculous. This is your home, too. You stay here as long as you want."

Hercules shook his head. "I'm going to head back out in the morning."

"Like hell," Jason said. At Hercules' incredulous look, he continued, "You are in no place to go off on your own right now. The last thing I need to hear from Corinth or Thebes or what have you is that you've gone off the deep end again and went on another god killing rampage. Because then _I'm_ going to have to be the one that comes after you, and that would really cap off this whole week."

Hercules closed his eyes, trying to control his temper. "I did not go on a god killing rampage, Jason."

"You said you did!"

"I said I killed _one_ Sumerian god, and it was an accident."

"Oh. Well… you're still not leaving. Don't argue with me either. I'm your stepfather. You have to do what I say. Head of the family, and all that."

Hercules grunted. "Actually, Iphicles would be head of the family. He's the oldest son. Plus, he's king. That probably overrules you in some capacity." The dark haired man stared at him. "That was a joke, Jason."

"It was bad."

Hercules shrugged, slipping Iolaus' amulet around his neck. "Yeah well… my punning skills are a little off today."

"Uh, huh." Jason snorted in disbelief. "That reminds me… I can't believe I am even asking this, but whatever happened to him anyway?"

At Hercules' questioning look, Jason elaborated, "The jester? The other Iolaus?"

"Oh. He turned into a merman."

Jason didn't so much as bat an eyelash. "It's a sad day when things like that become normal."

* * *

 **Then – Hercules**

The next few months passed by in a haze of numbness. Hercules had stayed with Jason after all, partly to appease Jason so he wouldn't have to hear him complain, but mostly because without Iolaus, he felt like he had nowhere else to go. On Jason's instance, Hercules had gone to find Xena upon learning she was pregnant, but he had returned in a worse state than when he had left. Jason was horrified to learn that Zeus had tried to kill Xena and her child, and the demigod had been forced to use the Rib of Chronos against his father. Hercules had retold the story with a cold indifference that made Jason nervous. The former king couldn't help but wonder if Iolaus had been there, or at least hadn't left Greece, whether Hercules would have found another way. In his current angry and unforgiving state of mind, the demigod probably wasn't thinking clearly. Jason wisely kept those opinions to himself.

Hercules spent most of the time working on the house. The day after Iolaus had left, Hercules went out to fix the door frame he had broken and got so wrapped up in the project that he just made a whole new door. Then he moved onto the barn roof. Once he was done with that, he had decided that the animal pens were not up to par, so he rebuilt all those, too. He ate when Jason told him it was time to eat. He slept when Jason said it was time to sleep. Eat, build, sleep, repeat. Eat, build, sleep, repeat. Sometimes someone would come by the house, asking for his help. That would break up the monotony a little bit, and he got to pound out his anger on a few lug heads and warlords. But then he would just come back to the house, and start the process over again. Eat, build, sleep, repeat. Oh, a monster. Bye-bye monster. Eat, build, sleep, repeat…

Jason didn't know how to handle it. Raging Hercules, that he was used to. He almost preferred it next to this aimless, defeated, apathetic funk that Hercules had gotten himself into between losing Iolaus and then having to kill his own father. He had been breaking up his time between the Academy and the house, afraid to leave Hercules alone for too long.

Spring passed by too quickly, bringing on a summer heat so sweltering, Jason wondered how Hercules was able to work in it without collapsing, even as a half-god. Part of him doubted Hercules even noticed it. Any attempts to get him to come inside and take a break were met with stony glares or grunts.

It was on one of these terribly hot nights that the two of them were finishing up dinner, and Jason tried once again to engage Hercules in conversation. "Yard looks good."

Hercules nodded, taking a bite of tabbouleh. He washed it down with some water and then went back to eating.

"I was thinking," Jason pressed on, "why don't you come with me to the Academy this time? It's been a while. It would really make the cadets day, having Hercules stop by."

Hercules sighed. He had lost count of the weeks it had been since Jason's last attempt. "They don't want to see me right now."

"It would do you some good," Jason told him. Hercules just shrugged. Jason watched him take spoonful after spoonful of food, not really enjoying it. He was just eating it for the sake of eating it. A silly human habit he had to endure to keep his strength up. "Hercules," Jason started, more forcefully this time, "it's time for you to get out of here and get back to your life."

"What do you mean? I leave. I left just the other day. I had to help what's-his-name with that… thing."

"Peleus," Jason prompted, and Hercules nodded in agreement. "And there was a mudslide that took out his house."

"Yeah, that was it."

Jason sighed, about to press the matter, when they both turned towards the window at the sound of someone on horseback approaching. Hercules immediately perked up, but Jason just looked at him sadly. For days on end after Iolaus had left, he had sat here, waiting for Iolaus to magically reappear. When that didn't happen, he waited for some kind of message from him, letting him know that he had at least arrived in Chin safely. But each time had left Hercules disappointed. It had been four months, and they had heard nothing.

"It's probably from Iphicles about that peace plan again. The Atticans are really pushing to expand it this year." Jason stood up and went over to the door, watching the rider approach. "Didn't Iolaus have a cousin in Attica?"

Hercules nodded. _At least he isn't wincing every time I say his name anymore_ , Jason thought. _That's good._ "Orion or something?"

"Orestes," Hercules corrected. "He's dead."

"Oh. Did I mention what an absolute joy you are to have around these days?"

Hercules threw his fork down onto the plate. "I'm sorry. Would you like me to go somewhere else?"

"No, Hercules, I want you to snap out of it."

"Well, I'm sorry I don't measure up to your high expectations."

 _For crying out loud…_ "You're depressed. You need to do something."

"I _am_ doing something. I'm eating. Or, at least I was. Who is it?" Hercules asked, trying to change the subject. He squinted out the window. "Doesn't look like anybody from the palace."

Jason looked out the window as well. "No… must be for you then. Another warlord or monster someone needs help with. Hey, maybe you can remember their names this time."

But Hercules didn't answer. He stood up slowly, still staring out the window. Jason shook his head and ran his hand through his graying hair. "Look, Hercules, I didn't mean that…"

But Hercules shushed him. "I don't think it's that kind of messenger." He sounded excited. It had been so long since Jason had heard Hercules speak in anything but a dull monotone that at first he was too shocked to respond. He looked from Hercules to the door and back again. "You don't think…"

"Yeah," Hercules said, moving Jason out of the way so he could open the door, "I do."

He made his way into the yard to meet the rider, Jason following. His heart was pounding in his chest. He didn't know how he knew, but he did. This wasn't someone asking for his help. _It has to be from Iolaus, it has to be._

After what seemed like an eternity, the rider finally slowed his approach and dismounted. Hercules could see he was Thracian. _Yes_ , Hercules thought, excitedly. _Yes, yes, this is it!_ The messenger strolled up to the two men and stopped in front of the demigod. "You are Hercules, son of Zeus?" he asked, looking from him to Jason.

Hercules winced slightly at the sound of Zeus's name. "Yes, I'm Hercules."

The messenger seemed satisfied, prompting an amused huff from Jason, and handed him a scroll. "From your friend," he said, and then got back on his horse and promptly rode away before either of them could offer him a drink or a fresh mount.

Hercules tore the seal off of it and unrolled it as fast as he could. Jason walked over to stand behind him as he read it. "I guess I should work out more. Why couldn't I be Hercules today?" he joked. Hercules ignored him. He stared at the parchment. Then he flipped it over, but finding nothing else on the back, he flipped it back around and read it again. "What's wrong?" Jason asked, getting worried. "Hercules?"

 _This can't be it_ , Hercules thought, angrily. _It just… can't be it._ He vaguely heard Jason asking him questions. He forced himself to answer, "It's from Iolaus."

Jason grinned. "Great! What does it say? Is he okay?" Hercules rolled the scroll back up, and Jason's grin dissipated. "What?"

"It said he got to Chin," Hercules said, with no emotion. "And to stay here, and don't come looking for him."

Jason scowled. "What? That's it?"

"Yes. That was it." He handed Jason the scroll without looking at him. "Here. You can have it." He slowly started walking down the path away from the house. After a few paces, he started walking faster, then jogging, and then a full out run.

Jason watched him go, unsure of what to do. He unrolled the scroll and read for himself:

 _Arrived in Chin. Don't come after me._

* * *

The forest passed by Hercules in a green and black blur. He felt like he was back in Eire, under the power of Illumination. He focused all his rage and sadness into making his legs pump as hard as he could.

He couldn't believe Iolaus. Four months of nothing, to get a few sentences hastily scribbled down on some parchment, like it was an obligation. Hercules had expected at least some story on how the journey was, if he was doing okay, what he was learning…

 _Don't come after me._

The words were burned into the back of his head. They stung, not so much because Iolaus had just assumed Hercules wouldn't let him come back on his own, but because a part of him knew Iolaus was right. It forced him to recognize that even though he had told Jason, and had tried to tell himself, that he would let Iolaus work out his problems, a little piece of him was hoping that Iolaus would have come back by now, or wanted Hercules to come get him. Or at least say he missed him.

 _What did I expect him to say?_ Hercules seethed inwardly. _Hey, Herc, come join me in the East and let's learn stuff together? Let's find some Eastern monsters to kill? Come meditate with me?_

He had been planning on going after him, if he hadn't heard something soon. Iolaus knew him better than he knew himself, and he obviously didn't want Hercules around. He was what drove Iolaus away.

He stopped suddenly, breathing hard, months of pent up anger threatening to consume him. He stalked off into the woods, and with a scream of rage, he punched the nearest tree as hard as he could. The sound was like thunderclap, and as the dust cleared there was a huge, Hercules-fist-sized chunk missing from the tree. Hercules eyed it uncertainly. The last thing he needed was to have it fall on some animal, or person…

 _Creeeeeak._

Hercules stared up at the sky. "Great," he sighed, just as the tree started tilting over back toward the road. He ran back out of the forest and, bracing himself, caught the tree in the middle as it was about to come crashing down. Hercules grunted, and pushing up in a shoulder press type move, he tried to get as low to the ground as possible before releasing it and letting it fall with a thud.

Now it was blocking the road. _My life just keeps on getting better and better…_ He was going to have to carry this thing out of the way somewhere. He thought about going back to the house to get an axe and chop it into two halves, but then decided he just couldn't be bothered. Gathering all his strength, he reared back and slammed his fist into the bark in an effort to separate it by hand. It took two more hits to get it split apart. He barely even noticed the throbbing in his hand as he grunted in satisfaction and bent to lift the first half of the tree and move it to the side of the road. "Well, Iolaus, at least you didn't have to see this," he said to himself. "And I definitely wouldn't have needed your smart ass comments." He wrapped his hands around the tree and tried to lift it up, but hissed in pain and had to drop it again. He looked down to see his hand covered in blood. The skin on his knuckles was split and he had probably broken at least one of them. But what was causing the pain was a nasty looking piece of wood that was stuck deep in the middle of the first and second knuckle. Hercules glared at it and ripped it out, which caused even more pain and probably left splinters in his skin. Tossing it to the side, he bent down and lifted the tree again, ignoring the throbbing in his hand. Jason was going to have to help him clean that up when he got back. He wasn't looking forward to the former king's lecturing.

He had gotten the first half out of the way and off to the side when he heard the sound of hooves. _Maybe it's another message from Iolaus, telling me how much he's enjoying me_ not _being there with him._ He walked over and bent down to get the rest of the tree when the amulet around his neck swung out from behind his shirt. He had decided to keep wearing it, in an effort to fill the hole his friend's absence left in his heart, but right now it was like a taunting reminder of how he alone he was. He ruthlessly pulled at it so the leather throng snapped and thought about doing the unthinkable and actually tossing it into the river, as Jason had suggested in jest so many months ago, when the clopping of horse hooves grew louder and he felt both the horse and its rider closing in behind him. "Can I help you?" he snapped, tucking the amulet into his belt. There was no answer. Rolling his eyes, Hercules turned around. "Look, you're just going to have to go around the tree, unless you can wait five minutes for me to move it." He was surprised to see an armored rider. _A soldier…_ Hercules realized, seeing the seal on the brooch that held his cape in place. The colors looked familiar. "Uh, if you're looking for Jason about that peace plan thing, now is not a good time."

"Are you Hercules?" the rider asked, dubiously.

Hercules probably figured he looked a sight; sweaty, dirty, his hand bloody, and standing in the middle of the road trying to heft a giant tree. "Yeah," he answered, turning his back and returning his attention to clearing the road, "that's me. Now's not a good time for me either." He lifted the rest of the tree and dragged it out of the way as the rider dismounted.

"I am Melinus. I bring an urgent message."

"I'm sure you do," Hercules managed to get out between clenched teeth. He hauled the remaining part of the tree out of the way and let it drop. He wiped his hands on his pants and surveyed his work. At least people could get by now. He would come back out tomorrow morning with Jason and come up with a more permanent solution. He glanced back to see the rider, Melinus, still staring at him. "Like I said before, this isn't a good time." He turned his back and started walking down the path to go home.

"The message," the rider called after him, "is from Queen Kirin."

Hercules stopped in his tracks. _Kirin?_ He turned back to the rider, who was regarding him with a look of distaste.

"You're sure you're Hercules?"

The demigod ignored his tone. "I'm sure. Did you say the message was from Kirin? The Queen of Kastus?" Now he knew why the man's cape colors looked familiar. He didn't spend much time in Kastus, and the time he was there was under an amnesiatic haze brought on by Hera. But he remembered Kirin fondly. He was just developing feelings for her, enjoying his time with her and her two young sons, when Iolaus had managed to help him get his memory back, and he'd had to leave.

"Yes. Come, we must leave at once."

Hercules raised his eyebrows. "Excuse me?" But Melinus ignored him, getting back on his horse. "Look, I don't know what game you're playing but I'm not going to Kastus tonight. Whatever is so important, I'll leave tomorrow and Kirin can tell me herself when I get there." He'd had enough of this guy and his attitude.

"Queen Kirin is dead," the soldier said flatly.

Hercules was shocked. The cold way the soldier said it disturbed him. He closed his eyes and said, sadly. "I'm very sorry to hear that. She was a good person." He swallowed, his throat suddenly feeling very dry. "How did she die?"

The soldier made a dismissive motion with his hand. "It will be explained later. The Queen left something for you."

"Look, I'm very sorry about Kirin, but I already told you, I am _not_ going to Kastus-"

"Her message and her… gift… are in Corinth. And, I have been tasked with taking you there."

Hercules blinked in confusion. _Gift?_ "Corinth?" he asked, making sure he heard correctly. The soldier nodded, his horse pawing the ground restlessly. _Man, this guy does not give up._ "Alright, fine. I can go to Corinth. Just let me go back to the house and get my hand bandaged up."

"There are servants who will tend to your injury," Melinus said, stiffly. "You will come now."

Hercules was really beginning to not like this guy. Part of him thought it was a trap. Kastus had been one of Hera's worshiping cities, after all. But, if it was a trap, why not spring it out here, in the middle of the road and in the dark? Corinth was heavily populated, and it was still early enough that people would be milling around in the taverns or playing music in the streets. Not exactly trap laying material. The other part, the part that was still coping with the huge gaping hole that Iolaus' departure had left in his life, really could care less.

He went with that one.

"Fine." Hercules shrugged. "Let's go to Corinth."

* * *

Melinus was not much for small talk. The soldier, whom Hercules assumed must be a palace guardsman of some kind and less than pleased about playing messenger, rode stiffly and silently back to Corinth with Hercules walking along behind him. The demigod's hand throbbed, and he wished he had been more forceful in demanding he return home to get it taken care of. That way he could have told Jason where he was going, just in case it did end up being a trap. _He's probably having kittens right now_ , Hercules thought.

He was surprised to see that they were heading for the royal palace, where his brother Iphicles ruled as king. _This is getting super weird. Why wouldn't Iphicles just send for me himself?_ But as the large wooden doors slammed open, Hercules could see it was Iphicles who was storming out of the castle to greet them now.

"What's the meaning of this?" Iphicles demanded, standing toe to toe with Melinus as he dismounted. "I agreed to let your party make use of my guest room, not drag my brother here at the first available opportunity." He turned to regard Hercules, giving him a small nod. "Hello, brother."

"Iphicles," Hercules greeted him back, and then scowled when Iphicles wrinkled his nose and looked him up and down.

"What happened to _you_?"

"Long story. Would someone mind telling me what's going on here?"

"The relationship between our two kingdoms is the only reason we have delivered him here in person," Melinus said to Iphicles, ignoring Hercules' question.

" _Him?"_ Hercules repeated. Iphicles and Melinus finally both turned to look at him, then. Melinus still looked as haughty as if he was the world's gift from Olympus, but Iphicles looked guilty. "Okay, look… I have had a _really_ annoying day. The last thing I wanted to do was walk to Corinth tonight and play mind reader. So, somebody better start explaining." He looked back and forth between the two men. " _Now_."

Iphicles opened his mouth to answer, but Melinus cut him off. "Please, come with me. If you will allow me, your majesty?" Melinus waited for Iphicles, who after a beat nodded and then stood aside, reluctantly. The guard gave Hercules a pointed glance, and then walked into the palace. Hercules shook his head and then followed, Iphicles bringing up the rear.

"What 'him', Iphicles?" Hercules muttered to his brother as they made their way through the hallways. "Or am I to understand that this gift is a person?" Iphicles didn't answer. "It better not be." Kastus had some slaves, but Kirin had known where he stood on the subject. And he didn't think Kirin would gift him with _anything_ upon her death, let alone a servant. They had only spent a short while together.

"It's not what you think," Iphicles finally answered. "Just… keep it together."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"Look, Jason told me how well you've been handling Iolaus leaving," Iphicles whispered. "He's worried about you. I am, too."

"As much as I love this family get together, I would really prefer an explanation. And a bandage." He looked down at the floor. "I'm getting blood on your tile."

They stopped at the door to one of the guest quarters. Melinus opened it and went inside, leaving the door ajar for the king and Hercules. Ignoring Hercules' jibe about the floor, Iphicles stepped inside. "You'll see."

Hercules had no choice but to follow.

The room was dimly lit by several oil lamps. Hercules could see that only two other people had traveled with Melinus. One was another guard and the other was a young woman whom Hercules assumed was a servant girl. _No wait… three people_ , Hercules realized, because he could see a small shape sitting in the servant girl's lap. It was a child, a young boy with sandy blond hair, who couldn't be more than two or three years old. The annoyance Hercules had been feeling was now changing to unease. He was getting that feeling in his stomach that usually told him that something was wrong. "What's all this about?"

"May I present," Melinus began, gesturing to the young boy, "the queen's son, Arcas." He fixed Hercules with a glare. "By you."

For a moment, Hercules just stood there, his hands on his hips, staring back and forth between Melinus and the boy. The toddler was holding onto the girl, thumb in his mouth, and looking around the room with big, blue eyes as if trying to memorize every aspect of it. Finally, Hercules turned to Iphicles. "Can you get me some salve and some bandages, please?"

"Didn't you hear what I said?" Melinus demanded, as Iphicles leaned his head out the door to call for an attendant.

Hercules wasn't fazed at all by Melinus' tone of voice. "Oh, I heard you. But, I've been down this road once before," he answered, thinking of Nemesis. His former flame had once told him that he was Evander's father, and he had been so overcome with joy. He had just begun getting used to the fact that he was a father again, when all of that came crashing down as Nemesis had admitted to him the boy's father was Ares, and she had lied to him because she was ashamed.

Melinus gaped at him. "Are you saying you deny _this_?" He gestured at the boy like he was a sack of bad produce he'd picked up from the market. Hercules's mood began to darken.

"I'm saying I'm being cautious," he answered. "Kirin and I, we… well… I wasn't in Kastus very long." The demigod tried to hide the blush that was creeping up his neck. "And that was at least three years ago…" He looked over the boy again. "Oh." The room grew silent, except for the noises the boy – Arcas – was making as he continued to suck on his thumb.

Finally, the young woman who was holding Arcas took a step toward Hercules. "If I may?" she asked, and Hercules nodded. "I served my queen for many years, looking after Protos and Macarius, as well as Arcas. I assure you, she loved you very much, and she took no other husband, or lover." She looked at Arcas, and then back at Hercules. "He is your son. I swear it on my life." She met Hercules' eyes then, as if daring him to question her or her loyalty to Kirin. "He has your eyes," she added.

The initial confusion was starting to wear off of Hercules, and the haze of shock was setting in instead. It was so hard for him to get his hopes up, to believe it, but looking closer at Arcas, he was startled to see how much he resembled his late oldest son, Clonus, at that age. _I have a son…_ "Why didn't Kirin come to me? And, how did she die?" He remembered what Melinus had said and realized with a shock that the "him" that the guard was supposed to be delivering was Arcas. "Wait, you're _leaving_ him here?"

Melinus nodded to the other guard, who stepped forward to hand Hercules a scroll. "Everything you need to know is in there."

Hercules looked at it warily. He wasn't expecting much of an explanation after the last scroll he had received that day, but he took it from the guard's outstretched hand and, unrolling it carefully, began to read:

 _My dearest Hercules,_

 _I am so sorry that it has taken me so long to write these words to you. I was confused after you left and I found out I was with child. I knew that any life we could have had together was an impossibility. I didn't want to take you away from your life of helping people, and I couldn't rob the world of a man that it sorely needed. I tried to write this to you so many times, but as the months and then years grew longer, my courage failed me._

 _I had heard that you had left Greece some time ago. The rumors were that you had gone to Sumeria, and that no one had seen or heard from you in a long time. I thought that I had missed my chance. But then, one of my representatives in Corinth had said you had returned home, and I had wanted to set out immediately and find you, but… I found out that I was ill. It came quickly and traveling was impossible. I didn't want to tell you all of this through a messenger, but I fear by the time this gets to you, I may already be gone._

 _My Arcas was unexpected, but he was loved. With Parnassa and Millius both gone, it fell to me to rule Kastus. When it was found out that I was with child by you, no one dared to try and make me end the pregnancy or give Arcas away, and I would not have allowed it. They all knew what Parnassa had done; they assumed I was just playing my part trying to convince you that I was your wife. But we both know it was more than that._

 _I am afraid for our son. You remember well the company that my husband's family kept. They could not deny him while I was alive and I could protect him, but as I am queen by marriage and Millius was not Arcas' father, I don't know what will become of him when I die. I have put a regent in place that I trust to guard the throne and rule until Protos is old enough. But, I am afraid the others will take Arcas away from his brothers; make him a slave, or worse. I didn't want to take him away from his home and his family, but_ you _are also his family, and there is no one else I trust more in the world to look after our son._

 _Arcas is a kind and happy child. I see much of you in him already. He understands people, what they are feeling, in a way that is unusual for children his age. I know you will love him, as I have loved him._

 _Please forgive me for keeping this from you for so long. Our time together was special, and it gave me a beautiful gift._

 _Take care of our son, and take care of yourself._

 _All my love,_

 _Kirin_

It was marked with the royal seal of Kastus at the end, and while most of the scroll was written by what Hercules assumed was a scribe, the signature was shaky, as if it took all of her strength to be able to sign it.

Hercules was at a loss. For her to become so ill and die, only managing to hold on long enough to get Arcas to Hercules, made his heart break. "What was this illness?" he asked, finally looking up from the scroll.

"It came on suddenly, and had taken her in a matter of months. No healer could help her," the servant girl told him, looking sad. "It was all she could do to have someone scribe this for us to take to you."

Hercules glowered at Melinus from hooded eyes. Maybe he was being paranoid, but he had a suspicious feeling that Kirin didn't contract any sudden illness, but that someone had made her sick instead. He remembered that most of the guards and palace attendants had been loyal to Parnassa and Hera, not to Kirin. He wouldn't have put it past any of them to get Kirin out of the way as quickly as possible, and also find a way to dispose of the son of Hercules as well. It made his blood boil. The people of Kastus were good and kind, but their ruling family left much to be desired. He only hoped that Protos would grow into a better man than the ones before him. "So, what… you're just going to leave him? What if I wouldn't have come? What if I wasn't in Corinth? Would you have dumped him on someone else instead, like garbage?" He threw the scroll to the side in disgust, and stepped forward to remove Arcas from the young woman's arms. The toddler didn't seem too happy about his new perch, and squirmed incessantly as Hercules tried to shift his weight to a comfortable position. He started to cry, reaching for someone familiar.

The girl raised her jaw, defiantly. "I wouldn't have let that happen. It was my queen's final order that he be delivered to you. There are some of us that still remain loyal to her." Her eyes darted toward the other guard that had come with her, but not at Melinus.

Arcas made grabbing motions at her, still crying, and kicking his little feet. "No, no, no!" he sobbed.

The young woman bit her lip. "He can tell you're upset, and angry."

Melinus made a disgusted noise, and began walking to the door, grabbing the servant girl's arm on his way and dragging her along with him. "Enough of this. We've done our jobs."

"Think of Kirin, and of who you are," the young woman said as she was being made to leave. "It will help him." Then she was pulled out of sight by Melinus. The other guard nodded once to Hercules, and then Iphicles, before following.

"I'm going to go make sure they leave without incident," Iphicles told the demigod, who didn't know what to make of the servant girl's statement. "One of the healers is here to take care of your hand. Don't move." He stalked out the door after the three visitors.

 _My hand?_ Hercules glanced down at it, and then remembered. _Oh, right. I beat up a tree this evening_. He had forgotten all about it in the initial blast of anger he had felt on realizing that Kirin may have possibly been murdered, and that no one in that kingdom save for a few seemed to care what happened one way or another to her child.

As the healer poked her head in the door and confirmed the Kastian party had left, Hercules looked down at the child in his arms once more. He was still wailing at the top of his lungs, the tears making his eyes seem even more blue. "Think of Kirin," she had said, and in the second Hercules began to calm down, Arcas' wails stopped. He sniffed, and stared at Hercules as if really noticing him for the first time. Then he started looking around the room.

"Mommy?" he called. He looked back at Hercules, expectantly. "Mommy?"

"Um…" Hercules wasn't quite sure how to respond. "No, Arcas. Mommy's not here." He remembered that the girl had also said to think of himself, and who he was. He tried to remember how he had felt being in Kastus with Kirin, and pictured himself with her in his mind. "But Daddy's here."

To his utter astonishment, Arcas put his tiny hand on Hercules' face. "Daddy," he said, firmly. Hercules blinked, shocked. He could tell Arcas wasn't just repeating what he had said. It was almost like he _recognized_ him, that he knew who Hercules was.

"Sorry to interrupt," the healer spoke suddenly, making Hercules jump. Arcas laughed at the startled look on the demigods face. "Come have a seat, and we'll take care of your hand."

Hercules nodded numbly, and walked over to the guest room's small bed, sitting down on it. The healer shut the door, and he put Arcas down to let him toddle freely around the room.

 _He understands people, what they are feeling, in a way that is unusual for children his age._

"Unbelievable," Hercules breathed. Aeson and Clonus had both exhibited some of his divine strength as they had started growing up, so he had assumed that any other children he may have had would have the same traits. He didn't think a fourth of godly blood would exhibit itself in the manner that it apparently had in Arcas. Amazed, Hercules just watched his son explore every detail of the tiny room as the healer worked on his hand. His nephew, Deon, had a mind altering power from his mother Aphrodite that allowed him to command people to do as he said. And Evander had the ability to make whatever he imagined happen. From creating giant purple monsters to freeing Hera from Tartarus, with just a thought, Evander could make his will come to life. This was obviously not quite the same thing, and Deon and Evander were both half gods, like Hercules, and also very powerful. What Arcas was doing was similar to mind reading, only he was picking up on people's feelings and emotions and translating them in a way his toddler mind could understand. He barely noticed when Iphicles returned and the healer, finished with his hand, left the two of them and Arcas alone.

"You're taking this rather well," Iphicles stated, glancing first at Hercules, and then to Arcas, who was busy tugging at the drapes. Iphicles smiled fondly at him.

"I'm…happy." And Hercules meant it. Some of the joy that had been snuffed out when Iolaus left was returning. He felt himself smiling, and realized with a start he couldn't even remember the last time he had done so. Then he slowly started to remember that Iphicles recognized Melinus when they had arrived at the castle, and seemed to know why they were there. "So are you," he added, darkly. The tone of Hercules' voice made Iphicles focus his full attention on his brother. "Did you know about this?"

Iphicles shook his head, "No. I swear it. I only found out when they arrived, and I _told_ them to wait until morning, when I could go to Jason's and tell you first. But that idiot Melinus took off." He spat on the floor, angrily. Hercules raised his eyebrows. "If I didn't need to put up with them for their trade value, I would have just taken Arcas and the scroll and had them physically removed. I stayed with him, and the girl, while Melinus went gallivanting off to find you."

Arcas started getting restless again, and Hercules got off the bed to pick him back up. "It's okay, Iphicles."

"No, it should have been handled better. I'm sorry about all this," Iphicles said, sadly.

Hercules smiled, first at Iphicles, and then at the small blond haired boy in his arms. He had a son, a family. It was something he thought he would never have, ever again. Whatever despair he had settled himself into since Iolaus had left was starting to dissipate. He felt warm, and happy. He was a father again. "I'm not," Hercules said, and meant it.

* * *

 **Then – Jason**

"I'm going to kill him."

Jason paced back and forth from the kitchen table to the sitting room, sat down in one of the chairs, got back up, paced back to the kitchen, and started the process over again.

"Yep. I'm going to kill him." He nodded to himself enthusiastically and poked at the fire that he had started the first hour that Hercules hadn't returned. He had now been gone almost through the night.

At first, the former king had let him have his space. Even Jason was angry at the message – or lack thereof – their friend had sent to them. But he knew that Hercules had been waiting with bated breath for any information on Iolaus. For Hercules, this was like losing him all over again. So he let him run off to cool his head. He didn't think Hercules would have been gone this long.

He growled angrily, throwing the poker down on the ground in frustration. _What am I going to do with him?_ He might joke around with Hercules that he was his stepfather, but Hercules was a grown man, and his oldest friend. He was not going to baby him. But, he also couldn't let Hercules lose sight of who he was.

It was times like these that Jason wished Hercules wasn't half god. Hercules' kindness, his compassion, his moral compass… those were his human traits. His ability to make friends so easily and feel so deeply for them was a testament to the size of his heart. But his fixation on things and obsessive tendencies – leading to his never ending toils around the house, for example – drove Jason insane, and were the parts that were all god. Jason had always felt that it was god half that made Hercules so emotional, so prone to fits of depression and rage when his friends or family, or even people he didn't know, were mistreated, or killed. Obviously, everyone mourned, everyone grew angry and felt alone when they lost people they loved, unless there was something wrong in their head. Even Jason had wallowed in his grief after the murder of his family, letting it consume him to the point where he couldn't see straight if he was sober. But, Hercules took things to a whole new level.

"Damn the man," Jason muttered. He was going to have to go after him. Who knows what he was up to? _Smashing temples, most likely,_ Jason thought in annoyance. An insane thought occurred to him, and for a moment he thought about trying to track down the Hinds Blood Dagger and move it to a new hiding place, but he shook his head. _No, he wouldn't do something like that… right?_ He stood in his living room, mulling it over, and then decided he better go find it, just in case. He didn't really know the whole story about what happened to that Sumerian Death God, or that Ragnarok thing in the Norselands, but he wasn't about to take any chances. And between Zeus' death, Iolaus leaving, and now this bitter disappointment, Jason wasn't one hundred percent sure if Hercules wouldn't do something extremely desperate.

He had retrieved his jewel studded sword and was about to grab a dagger and sheath to put under his tunic when he heard a carriage pull up. Frowning, he walked outside to see that it was one of Iphicles'. His heart sank to somewhere around his knees. _Oh, gods. Something's happened already._ He went into full panic mode when Iphicles himself opened the door of the carriage and stepped out.

Jason threw his sword down on the ground and began to pace in a small circle. Iphicles slowed his approach, a look of growing concern on his face. "All right. What did he do?" Jason demanded.

Iphicles regarded him as he would an escaped mental patient. "Who?" he asked, cautiously, eying the sword Jason had discarded.

"Don't play games with me! Who do you think? What was it? One of Hera's temples? Gods, how did he get over there so fast? He didn't kill anyone, did he?" Jason stopped just long enough to see Iphicles' wide eyed expression, and then nodded. "Dammit. Dammit, dammit, dammit! This is just great! Now I'm going to have to go after him, and-" He finally took notice of the way Iphicles and the driver were staring at him. "What? Oh no… what is it? Did he… he didn't kill _himself_ , did he? Oh, gods…"

Iphicles finally grabbed Jason by the shoulders and forced him to look at him. "Jason. Calm. Down. Hercules is fine."

Jason blinked. "What? What do you mean, he's fine?"

"He means I'm fine."

Jason pushed Iphicles out of the way to see Hercules exiting the other side of the carriage. "But, thanks for the vote of confidence," the demigod finished, an amused smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.

Jason sputtered. "But… but, you ran off. And you've been gone for hours! And I thought… Wait, what's _that_?" He pointed to the small bundle Hercules held in his arms. It was a sleeping child, wrapped up in a purple blanket. "You _kidnapped_ a _child_?!"

This time Iphicles snorted, but quickly tried to turn it into a cough. Jason glowered at him darkly. "What the hell is so funny?"

Hercules repressed a sigh. "I did not kidnap anyone, Jason," he said, very slowly. "But I am really enjoying hearing how many different crazy scenarios you can come up with tonight."

Jason looked back and forth from Iphicles to Hercules, obviously at a total loss. The two brothers exchanged amused glances, and Jason felt his temper about to soar to dangerous levels.

"I can explain," Hercules assured him.

"Explain. Explaining would be good."

Iphicles instructed the driver to wait for him, and then followed Hercules and Jason into the house, Jason stopping only to retrieve his sword.

Jason closed the door and then turned on Hercules. "Okay, what-" but the demigod threw him a dirty look, and placed the sleeping child onto the large chair by the fireplace. Jason closed his eyes and started again, more quietly. "Will one of you, please, tell me what is happening? Where did you go off to? Why is your hand bandaged up? And why have you come back with a _baby_?"

"He's not a baby. He's almost three," Hercules corrected him, tenderly tucking the blanket around the child.

Jason fought the urge to grab Hercules and shake him into oblivion. Iphicles, sensing the danger, explained, "He was at the palace. He ran into a messenger from Kastus, who brought him to Corinth."

Jason frowned, remembering. "Kastus? Isn't that where you lost your memory? And Iolaus was purple because he fell into that vat of grapes?"

Hercules smiled at the memory. "Yeah. Look, Jason, this is going to come as a surprise…"

Hercules and Iphicles relayed the details of the night's events to Jason, including Kirin's message to Hercules concerning Arcas, as well as the boy's unusual abilities. By the time they were done, Jason had gone from scowling to grinning like an idiot.

"So, you have a son? This is your boy?" he asked, indicating the sleeping bundle on his chair. Hercules nodded.

"Yeah. This is Arcas."

Jason slapped him on the back. "Congratulations!" he exclaimed, and then grimaced as the child made grumpy, waking noises and popped his head out of the blanket.

Hercules rubbed a hand over his eyes as Iphicles tried to hide a smile. "I just got him to fall asleep."

Jason shrugged, apologetically. "Sorry. It's been a while since I have had to tiptoe around sleeping children." He gave Arcas a little wave. "Hey, kiddo."

Arcas blinked large blue eyes up at him, and then grinned. "Jason!" he said happily, pointing at the former king.

Jason stared at Arcas in amazement while Hercules laughed. "Iphicles and I were talking about you on the way over here, trying to figure out what we were going to say. He must have picked up on it." He walked over to the chair and picked Arcas up so he could have a better view of the room. "Yes, that's Uncle Jason."

Iphicles rubbed his chin, thoughtfully. "Hmmm… wouldn't he be Grandpa?" He laughed at the look the former king threw at him.

"No. Hell no. I am nobody's grandfather."

"Uncle Jason is going to have to learn to use some new words when you're around, huh buddy?" Hercules threw Jason a look.

"Right," Jason said, sheepishly. "Hey, I'm old. And grumpy. Aren't I to the age yet when I can get away with saying and doing whatever I want?"

Hercules and Iphicles exchanged glances. "No," they both decided.

"Fine. I'll just take it out on the Academy kids."

Iphicles rolled his eyes. "I think that's my cue to leave. It was good to see you, Jason." He clasped hands with Argonaut, and then turned to Hercules and his nephew. "I better see more of this little guy."

"Oh, I think we will be able to spare some time for Arcas to come terrorize the palace. What do you think?" Hercules asked Arcas, who just cocked his head to the side and put his hands up in the imitation of a shrug.

"He's used to being in a palace," Iphicles reminded him. "Seriously, it might help him adjust. Come by later in the week. I'm sure I can find some things to spoil my nephew with." He slapped Hercules on the back. "And I'm sure you will already need a break."

Hercules shook his head. "We should be fine."

Iphicles stared at him, then burst out laughing and made his way to the door.

"What? What's so funny?"

"I'll remember you said that. See you soon, brother." He was still laughing as he got into the carriage and drove off.

Hercules turned to Jason. "What was that about?" To his annoyance, Jason was trying to hide a smile. "What? Jason, I remember how to take care of a child."

"Mmmm. Do you also remember how fun toddlers can be?"

Hercules waved at him, brushing the comment off. "Come on, you're exaggerating. Ilea was four when… it happened. She was a piece of cake."

"Uh, huh. She also had two brothers and another parent to keep her occupied."

"Jason," Hercules said, sitting down in Arcas' vacant chair and holding him on his lap, "trust me. It hasn't been that long. I think I can handle it."

Three days later, Hercules was seriously considering finding the Hinds Blood Dagger and just ending it all.


	3. Chapter Three

**Chapter Three**

 **Then – Hercules**

Hercules wasn't exaggerating when he said he remembered how to be parent. The thing was, he remembered how to be a _co_ -parent. As in, used to having a wife to take care of things. Like, most things. Or, all things.

"I don't know how Deianeira did it," he said to Jason over Arcas' screams as he ran back and forth from one side of the house to the other. "I mean… Aeson, Clonus, and Ilea were never this crazy!"

"Welcome to single parenthood," Jason shouted back, his hands clamped over his ears. "Maybe you should just take him to Corinth and let him see the palace? He's probably just confused and afraid."

"He's empathetic. He knows he's safe here," Hercules argued, dodging a glob of porridge as it was flung from the kitchen. "How did he even _find_ that?"

In the few days that Hercules and Arcas had been camping out at Jason's, they'd had to remove all the pots, Aclmene's old knickknacks, the weapons closet, and the rug that was in front of the hearth. They had also had to remove all the clothes from all the bottom cabinets, as well as Jason's hidden stash of crossbows and daggers that Arcas had somehow managed to find tied to the underside of Jason's bed ("Are you expecting an invasion?"). Hercules tried to ignore all the backhanded comments Jason was making about the stories Alcmene would tell from when Hercules was a child, and the fact that _maybe_ he had forgotten how much energy little boys had, and how destructive they could be.

The house was in complete disarray, and as much as Jason kept saying this house was as much Hercules' as it was Jason's, Hercules knew that he was beginning to wear out his welcome.

Hercules sighed and sat down in one of the kitchen chairs, and then instantly grimaced as he felt something sticking to the bottom of his pants. "Do I even want to know what I just sat in?"

"Probably not. Look, Hercules, this is an entirely different situation. You and Deianeira raised your kids in a functional, loving environment. Who knows the types of people he was used to seeing every day in Kastus? He's been taken from his home, and has no idea where his mother or his brothers are, and has been placed in a strange place with strange people. I know you say he can sense that you're his father, but come on, Hercules, he's a child. And if he's feeding off people's emotions like you say, it's probably not helping."

"If he was, he would be able to tell that Daddy is getting very annoyed and very tired, and he would _stop!_ " Hercules shouted. They had about a second of blissful silence before Arcas started back up again. Hercules closed his eyes and banged his head on the table.

"You think he's blocking it out?" Jason asked.

Hercules shook his head. "No. Well, yes, maybe… but I don't think he knows how to control it. He doesn't know how to turn it off and on, he's just… doing it."

Arcas' screams of misery died down, and the two adults quickly got up to go make sure the toddler was all right. They found him peacefully asleep on top of Jason's bed, finally having tired himself out. "He must have climbed up the banister," Jason said, shaking his head. Hercules resisted the urge to collapse down next to his son. The past few days had been an emotional rollercoaster for all involved. Arcas had been easy to amuse at first, but then he had started to get tired of what he thought was a game of leaving his home, and had started to get upset. Temper tantrums ensued and had gone on nonstop. The two men and the little boy were exhausted. Jason was right; Hercules knew how to be a father, but not a single father. He was also definitely not used to dealing with a child that had Arcas' abilities. Jason had been helping him around the house, but Hercules' son wasn't Jason's responsibility, and the former king was going to have to go back to the Academy at some point. He hadn't even begun to think about what was going to happen when people came to ask for his help.

Hercules slid onto the floor next to the bed and put his head in his hands. "I'm going to have to build a house for us."

"Don't be ridiculous." Jason sat down on the floor next to him. "This is your home."

"No, Jason, it's _your_ home. Yours and mother's. And I appreciate you letting me stay here, but with Arcas…. You didn't sign up for this."

"This? What, this?"

"A screaming three year old and a grown man who can't get it his act together." Hercules shook his head and laughed mirthlessly. "Iphicles was right. I need a vacation, and I just got started. I have no idea what I'm doing."

"Don't be so hard on yourself. You got thrown into this situation, same as Arcas. You were a great father. Those kids idolized you. You just need to give it some time."

"I was also never around," Hercules said, glumly. He suddenly became very interested in a piece of string that was unraveling on his tunic. "I was always being taken away from them, helping other people, when I should have been home with my family."

"Knock it off. Deianeira knew that came with the package when you two got married. And do you think that she would have just gone along with it if she didn't want to?" Jason nudged him with his elbow. "Well?"

"No. You're right. I just… this time is different, Jason. I'm all he has." Hercules sighed, and looked around Jason's room. The curtains had been pulled down and from the sticky handprints on the floor, Arcas had obviously tried to get under the bed again and see if Jason had left anymore shiny, pointy things lying around.

"So, what's your plan then?"

Hercules sat in silence for a moment before answering, "Honestly, I was going to go see Nemesis." He caught Jason's eye, and added, "About Evander, Jason. Not… other things." From the look Jason was still giving him, he wasn't convinced. Hercules rolled his eyes. "When Evander was small, he had trouble controlling his power. His dreams would come to life, he couldn't control when things would manifest. I was going to see if being around him helped Arcas. He's older, and he's also his cousin. It may be good to introduce him to some more family, who aren't gods or kings. Or former kings."

Jason nodded in agreement. "Actually, that sounds like a good idea. Just as long as you don't come home with a new mother and brother for your new son."

"Seriously, Jason? That would be insane. And _don't_ say anything," Hercules said, as Jason was about to add what was sure to be a sarcastic comment. "I could just use a little help right now in the single parent of a powerful baby department."

"Too bad your mother's not still around," Jason said, ruefully. "At least you don't have to worry about your son picking up the kitchen table and using it as a battering ram."

"No, I just have to worry about him finding all the pretty weapons that Uncle Jason hides _under_ the kitchen table."

"Hey, I don't have any weapons strapped to the bottom of that." Jason paused, and scratched his head thoughtfully. "At least, I don't think I do."

Hercules was not amused.

* * *

"Hey, Evander, don't be so rough! Remember, he's smaller than you."

The older boy ducked his head sheepishly and helped Arcas up off the ground, where he had been pushed moments earlier. Nemesis shook her head and returned to her seat on the porch next to Hercules while the two boys continued to play. "Sorry about that."

Hercules smiled while he watched them. "Honestly, he doesn't seem to mind. He has two older brothers, so I am sure he's used to getting knocked around a little bit. He's having fun."

The trip had, thankfully, been uneventful. Arcas was more than excited to get out of the house, especially when they had stopped in Corinth first to see Iphicles as the king had requested. Iphicles had piled gifts of toys and clothes on the boy that were probably enough to stock a small store. Hercules shook his head, more amused than annoyed, as Iphicles had allowed Arcas to chase after him with a tiny bow and arrow. "He doesn't need all this stuff, Iphicles."

"Sure, he does. What's the point of having a king for an uncle if you don't get presents?" his brother demanded.

Hercules had no argument for that, so he just left it alone for the time being. He and Iphicles then loaded up a cart to take all of Arcas' new things back to Jason's and sent it off with one of Iphicles' attendants, and then the two of them continued on to Nemesis'.

His former flame was more than a little surprised to see Hercules, not to mention Arcas. Hercules had explained everything that had happened over the last few months – Iolaus leaving, finding out about Arcas, and Arcas' abilities – and Evander's eyes lit up upon discovering that he had a new little cousin. He had immediately dragged Arcas out to the yard to play, and the two adults had followed. Now Hercules and Nemesis were watching the sunset and their two sons, and enjoying each other's company.

"I'm just at a loss, Nemesis. I've never had to deal with anything like this before. I don't think it's just temper tantrums or missing his mother; he can't deal with all the feelings and emotions he's probably picking up from everyone around him," Hercules explained. He took the cup of water Nemesis offered him and stared into its contents, not drinking. "It's too much for him. He's only a child. How is he supposed to function with all of that weighing on him all the time?"

Nemesis patted his arm, sympathetically. "I don't know, Hercules. Evander's power… it's not the same. It's more dangerous to the people around him than it is to himself. But, I think you did the right thing coming here. Evander has gotten much better at controlling his abilities. Since Arcas can pick up on emotions, it may be easier for him to learn to control his abilities as well, just from being around Evander."

"That's what I was hoping."

Nemesis tilted her head, regarding him. "You know you're welcome here any time. Arcas is Evander's family. I think Evander is more thrilled than anything to have a playmate around his age." She took a breath, and then continued, "I'm sorry for everything that's happened, Hercules. I really am. I'm sure Arcas came as more than a surprise. I'm just glad it worked out for you this time."

Hercules took her hand. "Nemesis, that's in the past. I don't blame you. You should stop blaming yourself."

She smiled sadly, but didn't reply. They watched as Evander tried to teach Arcas how to sword fight using two sticks he had found on the ground. "He looks like you," she said, finally. "He has your eyes."

"I can see Kirin in him, too. She was a kind and loving person. I just… wish things had turned out differently for her."

"You really think someone made her sick?"

Hercules shook his head. "I don't know… I try not to think about it. I don't want Arcas to pick up on that, and get upset."

The two of them sat in silence, still holding hands. The sun was turning a brilliant shade of red as it descended. "It's getting late," Hercules said, starting to rise. "We need to start heading back to Corinth. Thanks for letting me get some of this off my chest."

"Don't be silly. I'm just glad that we'll be seeing more of you now. Evander loves having you here, you know that." Hercules knew she wanted to add _, And I do, too_ , and part of him wanted her to. But the other part, the part that still missed Iolaus and was made of dark storm clouds, and the part of him that was now a busy father again, couldn't let himself feel that way.

"What are you going to do now?" she asked him. Hercules sighed.

"I'm not sure. Just take things one day at a time, I guess. Arcas, Evander! Come on guys, it's getting dark!"

The two boys made moans of disapproval as they were called back to the house.

"But we were having fun," Evander protested. Hercules ruffled his hair. "Don't worry," he told his nephew, "we'll be back soon."

Arcas stamped his foot on the ground. "Stay!" he demanded, his little hands balling into fists.

"Sorry, buddy, we have to go see Uncle Jason. He has all of your new toys, remember?"

Arcas was not impressed, but allowed his father to pick him up as he said goodbye to Evander, and then Nemesis.

She stood on her toes and lightly kissed him on the cheek. "I'm glad you came. We'll have to work out some kind of schedule, so that Evander and Arcas can see each other, and Arcas can practice some of the things Evander has learned."

Evander nodded enthusiastically. "Don't worry, I'll help him. He's my baby cousin!"

"No, I'm a big boy!" Arcas said defiantly, and Hercules had to repress a laugh. It was amazing to him how a few months ago he was plagued with such problems as whether or not he should get out of bed, and now he was scheduling play dates and lessons. It felt oddly natural, and he realized how much he had missed this part of his life.

"Thank you, Nemesis. I needed this. It was… nice."

"I know you miss Iolaus. But, things have a way of working out the way they should," Nemesis said, putting her arm around her son. "Take care of yourself, okay? Let me know the next time you two want to come by."

* * *

The next few months seem to fly by. Jason had indeed gone back to the Academy, leaving Hercules and Arcas to tend to things themselves. They both had to learn how to deal with each other – Hercules as a single father, and Arcas, no longer the little prince, but a growing boy learning how to cope without his mother and with a power he didn't understand. Hercules started farming again, and after a few failed attempts, began getting into the rhythm of everything once more. He and Arcas would visit Nemesis and Evander, and vice versa, and Arcas was slowly learning how to block out the torrent of feelings that seem to come at him from all angles. Some days were better than others, but when they were bad, they were _really bad_ , and Hercules found himself once again questioning his abilities as a parent. There would be nights when Arcas would scream for hours, having been woken up by feelings of fear or anger or sadness, that Hercules could only assume he was picking up from Corinth, even as far away from the house as it was. All he could do was hold him as he cried and shook. Some nights he would just cry with him, out of frustration, and he knew he shouldn't because Arcas would just sense he was upset, and it would make him worse. Other times Arcas would just sit and stare, unmoving as a statue, and Hercules was sure that eventually all of this would drive the poor child to insanity. He finally took Arcas to his cousin Asclepius, who gave Hercules some herbs and scrolls on meditative techniques he could start working with Arcas on. Trying to teach breathing and relaxing skills on a three year old was not easy.

It was during these times that Hercules became infuriated with Iolaus. _If there was any time I really needed you here, it would be now_. Iolaus had learned some of these things in the East, and while he didn't have the same level of patience as Hercules, he had a better understanding of how that part of the mind worked. Hercules had gone from missing Iolaus to just feeling angry, and betrayed. He started to use some of the meditative techniques that he was supposed to be teaching Arcas so he could shield it from his son. The last thing he needed was Arcas picking up on all his suppressed rage and agony.

The worst times were when people would come and ask for his help. He would be torn between his duty as a father, and what he felt was his duty as a hero. It wasn't like before, when Deianeira could watch the children. Arcas had no one; yes, he had Jason and Iphicles, and even Nemesis and Evander, but Hercules was worried that Arcas would think it was his destiny to be abandoned. First, by the people of Kastus who took him away from his home and brought him to Hercules, and then by his father, who would have to take him to the Academy or the palace and leave him for days on end. His friends were also not as equipped to handle Arcas if he had an episode with his powers. So, eventually, he had to start turning people down, reminding them that just as he told them not to rely on the gods, they also couldn't always rely on him. They had to start relying on themselves. It killed him to do it, but he just couldn't risk the effects it would have on Arcas, or his relationship with him. Arcas needed someone he could trust, someone who would be there for him and not leave him to fight monsters and warlords every other day. It bothered Hercules that he felt like he was going against his nature by staying with his son, instead of being happy to be with him.

There were still some times when the peril was just too great for ordinary people, and he'd had to go. He began leaving Arcas with Nemesis exclusively, as she was better equipped to handle a child with abnormal abilities, and Arcas seemed much happier and calmer with her and his cousin than he was with Iphicles, or even Jason.

Three months turned into six months, then turned into nine months, and then a year. Jason would come home from the Academy every other month or so, and Hercules had started adding on another wing to the house for himself and Arcas. He still didn't feel right about the way they had taken over Jason's home, no matter how many times the former king told him he didn't care. Hercules cared, and this was the only way he knew how to repay his friend for giving them a roof over their heads.

After some time, Hercules and Arcas had gotten into a routine, and Arcas was learning small things about how to plant and take care of the animals. He had an affinity for them, and liked to be around them. Other times he would ask to go stay with Jason at the Academy instead of his cousin if Hercules had to go out on a mission. "It's fun," he said, during one such instance. "I like to watch them fight. Sometimes Uncle Jason lets me be the boss." That made Hercules laugh. He could only imagine how the students felt having Jason sit back on his heels as Arcas ordered them around in the language of a four year old.

The days went on, and Hercules found himself thinking less and less about Iolaus, and more about the farm, and the life he was going to have with Arcas. He thought more about the adventures he was going to take his son on, and less about the adventures he missed having with his friend. He started laughing more, real laughter, not the forced laughter he had sometimes had to put on with Jason in the beginning. The big, gaping hole that he'd had in his heart since Iolaus had left was slowly starting to close, and his love for Arcas was taking its place. His pain went from a roar, to a low growl, and then, one day without him even noticing it, it was gone. Life, he decided, had finally gone back to something resembling normalcy.

And then he had decided to go to Attica, and everything went straight to hell.

* * *

It hadn't been his plan to go to Attica at all. It was Arcas, sick and tired of farm life, that begged and pleaded that they accompany Jason and his uncle Iphicles.

"Come _on,_ Dad, please?" Arcas, Hercules, and Jason were sitting around a dying campfire. Jason had been explaining to Hercules that Iphicles had requested he come along to Attica with the royal convoy as a consultant on this peace plan business.

Hercules poked at the fire in an effort to ignore his son's bouncy excitement. "What about the Academy?" Hercules asked, hoping Jason would take the hint and suggest he and Arcas go there instead.

"I left it in Tabor's capable hands," Jason said, eyes twinkling. Hercules threw him a dark look.

"Yes!" Arcas exclaimed, pumping a fist in the air. "See? Please, please, _please_?"

"Thanks a lot, Jason," Hercules said, reproachfully.

" _Dad_ , I can't stand it here anymore!" Arcas protested as Jason threw another log onto the fire.

"Who's going to do your chores?" Hercules asked him. "Who's going to take care of the pigs?"

"Jason says that is what his farmhands are for," Arcas replied, while the former king suddenly came down with a coughing fit. Hercules continued to glower at him.

"I see. Arcas, you don't want to go to Attica. It's boring grown up stuff and Jason and Iphicles are going to be too busy to play with you."

"Ugh, I just want to go somewhere." Arcas slumped over dramatically, leaning on his father's arm for support. "My life is so _boring_!"

Arcas was being so ridiculous that it was all Hercules could do not to laugh. "Really? Your life is boring and terrible?" Arcas didn't answer. "That's what I thought."

"Come on, Hercules, it might be good for him," Jason said. "He needs to get out, see the world. You've had him cooped up here for over a year, for the gods' sakes."

"I've kept him 'cooped up' here, as you put it, for a good reason."

"What, you mean my power?" Arcas asked, hopping to his feet. "I promise I won't cause any trouble. I've been practicing. I'll be good!"

Hercules mulled it over, exchanging glances with Jason. "Why don't I take you to see Evander instead?" he asked, finally.

Arcas narrowed his eyes and put his hands on his hips. Hercules suppressed a groan. Arcas was in stubborn mode. He recognized it instantly, because it was the same stance he had given his mother, and Jason and Iolaus for that matter, on numerous occasions.

"If you don't let me go," Arcas threatened, "I'll… go on strike!"

Hercules' mouth dropped open and Jason began laughing so hard he almost fell off the tree stump he was using as a chair. "Go on strike?" Hercules repeated, slowly, trying to ignore Jason's hysterics. _Where does he come up with this stuff?_

"Yep," the boy said, confidently, crossing his arms.

"Arcas, do you even know what that means?"

Arcas' face went blank for a moment, but then he shrugged. "That doesn't matter. Please, Dad? I won't get in the way, I promise."

Hercules sighed and tried to avoid Arcas' gaze. Things had been slow recently as far as Hercules being called away was concerned, and if he was being perfectly honest with himself, he was getting restless as well. There was a nice peace to farm life, but Hercules missed traveling and the feel of being on the road. Obviously, Arcas had inherited that bug from his father. He bounced up and down on his toes, waiting with bated breath for his father's response.

"Fine," Hercules gave in, "we will go to Attica. _We_. And I want to know where you've been picking up all this stuff about strikes and farm life being boring," he added over Arcas' whoops of triumph. He gave Jason a slap on the arm. "It better not have been you."

Jason feigned outrage. "Me? Where would you get that idea?" He winked at Arcas conspiratorially.

"Very cute. Remember you're not the one who has to deal with him, _Uncle_ Jason."

"Give the kid a break, Hercules. He's been through a lot this year. So have you. It'll be a nice getaway for you and your son." Arcas was now running circles around them and the camp fire. "I, on the other hand, will knee deep in politics and wishing I was dead. Gods, I hope that idiot Amphion isn't coming."

"Who?"

"Queen Niobe's new husband. He's such a jack… uh, moron," Jason corrected as Arcas came back around within listening distance.

"That's right… Niobe is queen of Attica." Hercules had never met her in person, but Iolaus had to twice impersonate her first husband Orestes. Whatever had occurred there the last time had done a number on Iolaus. He hadn't gone into specifics. "Why wouldn't her husband come? I thought he was the one pushing this whole business?"

Jason snorted. "He is. Frankly, I think it's a cover up and he really just wants to expand this kingdom, but I can tell you right now, that's not going to fly. Peace plan my rear end. But, Niobe was the one who came up with it originally. She and Orestes." He caught Hercules' look and rolled his eyes. "Really? What, you don't want to come now because of Iolaus' old girlfriend?"

"She wasn't Iolaus' girlfriend, Jason. Niobe was married to his cousin. Nothing happened."

Jason had a look on his face that said he sincerely doubted it, but didn't push the subject. "Look, you don't have to come with Iphicles and I to the palace for negotiations. Just hang around town, or take your son camping and fishing and all the fun things that I'll be wishing I was doing. Then you can tell me about it later, and I can pretend it was me."

Hercules laughed, and Arcas ran back over, annoyed that the adults were having a good time without him and not wanting to miss anything. "What, what? What's so funny?" he demanded.

Hercules pulled him into a bear hug and stood up, carrying him back to the house as Arcas pretended to struggle. "What's so funny is you thinking you can stay up all night. It is time for you to go to bed."

"No, I'm not tired!" Arcas protested as Hercules continued into the house and back to the large bedroom they shared. He plopped his son down onto the bed and then went to get his bed clothes.

"You have a big day tomorrow. It's going to take a while to get to Attica, and you said you were going to be on your best behavior. That needs to start now, with you going to sleep and not arguing with me."

"But I'm _not_ tired!" Arcas reiterated and then yawned, hugely.

"Uh, huh. Come on, arms up," Hercules instructed and yanked Arcas' tunic off. "Put your bed clothes on and get under the covers."

Arcas complied as Hercules went around with the snuffer and put out the lanterns except for the one by the door, plunging the room into semi darkness. The moon was low and bright, and it shined through the bedroom window and made strange looking patterns on the floor and wall. Hercules gave Arcas a cursory glance as his son changed and got into the bed. "Do you want me to leave any more candles on?"

Arcas pulled the bed sheet and quilt up to his chin. "No," he said, but Hercules could tell he was just trying to sound brave. Nights were still the worst for Arcas. His defenses were lowered when he would dream, and sometimes he would have nightmares.

"Are you sure?" Hercules asked again. Arcas' eyes were wide and bright in the moonlight. He nodded, but pulled the covers up higher. Hercules sighed. "Why don't I just light that one over by the window?"

Arcas looked around the room, at the shadows on the wall, and pretended to consider it. "Okay," he agreed. Using the already lit lantern, Hercules relit the candle and placed it in the far window, and then came over to sit on Arcas' bed. Arcas picked at some fuzz on his quilt absently.

Hercules stroked his hair. "Try not to think about it, okay? Think about how much fun you're going to have tomorrow instead."

Arcas nodded, but didn't say anything. After a few minutes, he blurted, "Sometimes if I can't sleep, Uncle Jason lets me have wine."

Hercules pressed his lips into a flat line. "Wonderful." He tried to keep the annoyance out of his voice. _That's the last time I let him watch Arcas by himself._

"Don't be mad. He only gives me, like, _this_ much." Arcas put his thumb and pointer finger together in a pinching motion to demonstrate.

"Okay, well… tonight you get to see if you can go to sleep on your own." He kissed Arcas' forehead and then made to leave. "I'll be right outside, okay?"

Arcas sat up as Hercules started to go out the door. "Tell me a story?"

Hercules shook his head. "Not tonight, buddy. Jason and I have to get ready for the trip."

His son cast a worried glance around the room. "Please? I want to hear about Pro...Pro…"

"Prometheus?" Hercules finished and Arcas grinned.

"Yeah! The one with Xena!"

Hercules felt a pang of sadness, but then tried to push it aside. A few months after he had begun his new life with Arcas, he'd had an unexpected and very odd visit from Ares, of all people. Hercules had gone out to the barn to check on the horses before turning in for the night to find his half-brother sitting quietly on one of the water barrels. Hercules had been wary, especially now that he had Arcas. And while the god of war hadn't really seemed to care either way about Zeus' death, Hercules wanted to be careful.

"What are you doing here?" he had demanded, tersely. He tried to calculate how fast he could throw Ares to the ground and get his son out of the vicinity. "If you're here to hurt my son in some kind of revenge scheme for Zeus…" But Ares didn't answer. In fact, the god wasn't even looking at him, but at a spot on the ground in front of him, as if he wasn't really sure what he was doing there either. Unsure how to react, Hercules had taken a tentative step forward and waved a hand in front of Ares' face. "Uh… are you okay?" It felt strange. Hercules and Ares' relationship had always been one of mutual dislike, if not sometimes hatred. But they had worked together in the past, and as much as it pained Hercules to admit it, he was his brother.

The god of war had straightened up at hearing the concern in Hercules' voice. He'd tried to muster a sneer, but Hercules could tell his heart really wasn't in it for some reason. "You can add Xena and Gabrielle to your list of dearly departed friends." Ares' voice had none of its usual bravado. It was more like he was just playing the part, so much so that at first Hercules didn't understand what Ares had said.

"What are you talking about?"

"Xena," Ares had said again, flatly. "Gabrielle. They're dead."

Hercules' had felt his insides turned to ice, and it felt like his mind had slowed down, unable to fully process what his brother was telling him. "No," he had said, quietly. It seemed to be the only coherent thought he could manage. He had just seen them, they had been fine…

"Yep. And the baby, too. So, you offing Dad amounted to literally shit in the end. Good job."

Putting a hand on the door frame to steady himself, Hercules had asked, "How?"

"Athena," he had spat, "that good for nothing bitch. And Hades, and all the rest!" Ares had sounded tormented, his voice raw and full of pain.

Hercules had blinked at him, pushing his grief aside to really study his brother. "You loved her, didn't you?" Ares hadn't answered, but Hercules hadn't really expected him to. "Why did you come here to tell me this?"

"Why else?" Ares had sneered, a real one this time. "To cause you an immeasurable amount of pain. Too bad your little blond buddy isn't here, too. I would have enjoyed seeing the look on his face."

Hercules grief had immediately turned to anger. "You're lying."

"Think what you want. I don't care anymore. I don't… I don't even know why I really did come here." He'd risen off the barrel then, and to his utter astonishment, all Hercules could see on the god of war's face was pure, unadulterated anguish. "I guess I just thought you ought to know." And with that, he had disappeared, leaving Hercules alone with his pain. He almost hadn't believed him, if it wasn't for the look in Ares' eyes.

He had still asked around in the days after, and it was confirmed that Xena, Gabrielle, and Eve had all perished in a fire fight with the gods on the outskirts of Rome. Ares had been right… Killing Zeus to protect Xena and the baby had all been for nothing. He'd committed patricide, for what? So Athena could finish what Zeus had started? The demigod wondered if this wasn't The Fates' way of punishing him for it. It was all Hercules could do not to fall into another storm of depression, and if not for Arcas, he would have gotten the Hind's Blood dagger and stormed Olympus to bring about the Twilight himself. But he had taken one look at his son and knew he couldn't leave him. Eventually, he had accepted the fact that they were gone. Hearing Xena's name still stung sometimes. And as for Ares, Hercules had never heard word of or seen the god of war again since.

"Daddy?" Arcas asked, tentatively, shaking Hercules out of his glum reverie.

"Yes? Sorry," he said, catching the look on his son's face. "I was just… thinking about my friend."

Arcas still didn't take his eyes off him, so Hercules sighed and came back over to sit down on his bed again. "Alright, alright… I'll tell you about Prometheus."

"Yay!" Arcas exclaimed and made himself comfortable.

"One day," Hercules began, "not so long ago, Xena had to fight off a gang of bandits that had tried to attack her and Gabrielle while they were sleeping. Xena saved one of the bandits, because she had changed her ways and now walked the path of a hero. But, when she and Gabrielle took the bandit to a local village for help, he suddenly died from his wounds. This shouldn't have happened, and Xena knew that something was wrong. She realized that Hera, the queen of the gods, had captured Prometheus, and if Prometheus stayed captured, we would all lose the gifts he gave us…"

* * *

The next morning, the two men and Arcas were picked up by one of Iphicles' carriages and headed off for Attica. Hercules had had to tell the Prometheus story twice before Arcas had finally passed out from exhaustion, and then had proceeded to have a long conversation with Jason about the former king giving his quite underage son alcohol.

"It was a thimble full! It puts him right to sleep."

"Next time," Hercules had said, in no way trying to hide his aggravation, "try tea."

Jason had just grumbled incoherently and sharpened his sword, leaving Hercules to pack their bags and supplies for the trip. Hercules was still in a bad mood over the whole situation as they rode together on the two day journey from Corinth.

"If you were going to sulk the whole way, you should have just stayed home," Jason said to him. He was sitting across from them, his back facing the driver.

"I'm not sulking." Hercules stared out the window, feigning extreme interest in the scenery. Arcas sat next to him, engrossed in his make believe battle between a wooden soldier toy and a green plush dragon that Iphicles had given to him last year.

Jason humphed, unconvinced, but just sat back in the cushioned seat and closed his eyes. "I hate traveling this way. Wake me up when we get there."

Hercules grunted an acknowledgment, still observing the world outside. He couldn't argue with Jason on that; he much preferred to walk and get the exercise as well, but traveling with a four year old was bad enough _with_ a carriage. It would have been absurd to try and make Arcas walk the two days distance to Attica, and the trip probably would have turned into three since they would have had to rest more.

Arcas chattered on and off about how excited he was to get to Attica and have his first camping trip before tiring himself out about halfway through the first day and curling up next to Jason, clutching his stuffed dragon as he slept. Hercules frowned at it. It looked eerily similar to the hydra one he had given Xena before Eve was born. He'd named it Iolaus.

He settled back into his seat and put his head back against the cushions, closing his eyes. It wouldn't hurt for him to try and catch a nap as well until Iphicles signaled they were at a good stopping point for the night. But, he just couldn't shake an uneasy feeling he was getting. He had no idea why he should be feeling this way either. The trip was a welcome break from the house, and for once people needed Jason and Iphicles, not him. This was a chance for him to spend some quality time with his son, teaching him survival skills, like fishing and how to build a fire. But something in the back of his mind kept bothering him.

Maybe Jason was right, and he was just feeding off of the bad memories Iolaus had about the place. The whole situation with him having to impersonate Orestes was just weird in and of itself. It didn't help matters that Niobe had thought the Orestes she had married was the real Orestes, not Iolaus, and had been devastated to find out her new husband was not at all the man she had developed feelings for. Iolaus, as per usual, had fallen for the queen as well, and hadn't been looking forward to returning to Attica to help his cousin again. Somehow, Orestes had been assassinated, and Iolaus had to pretend to be the king once again to defeat Xenon and get the peace plan in place that his cousin had died for. Other than explaining why he'd had to wear the crown again, Iolaus hadn't gone into much detail when he'd returned. Hercules could just tell something had happened, and that Iolaus wasn't going to elaborate. Hercules was getting a sinking feeling that the 'something that had happened' was 'something with Niobe'. And for whatever reason, Hercules tagging along with his brother and stepfather was giving him a bad feeling.

The rest of the trip went on without incident. Arcas had thoroughly enjoyed sleeping in the big, billowy royal tents the night before and was currently bouncing uncontrollably in his seat as they approached the city.

"What does it look like?" he carried on, looking out one window and then the other. "I can't see!"

"There's nothing to see yet, that's why," Jason told him, hoisting the boy up into his lap. "Just settle down, we'll be there soon."

They had arrived during what looked like a market day. It took the carriages a long time to get through the bustling streets, even with Iphicles' men trying to direct people to get out of the way.

"Unbelievable," Jason muttered. Arcas climbed over him to get a better look. "Ow!"

"Arcas, get off him, please." Hercules scoped out their surroundings. "It does look pretty crazy out there."

"Why don't you and Arcas just get out here," Jason suggested, in a way that made it clear to Hercules that it was less of a suggestion and more of a plea.

Hercules glanced over at Arcas, who had resumed bouncing up and down in his seat, kicking his short legs wildly as they didn't reach the floor. He threw Jason an apologetic glance. "That's probably not a bad idea." He stuck his hand out the window and thumped it against the top of the carriage a few times, signaling to the driver that they wanted to stop. He opened the carriage door and got out, and then held his arms out to Arcas so he could help him out as well. "We're going to get out here and take a look around, if you don't mind," Hercules explained to the Corinthian guard stationed at their carriage.

The guard looked to Jason for confirmation, who gave him a slight nod. "Let my brother know what we're doing," Hercules instructed. The guard nodded and the carriage resumed its course to the Attican palace.

"I'll find you later," Jason called out the window as they took off, "if I haven't died of boredom!"

Hercules just smiled and waved at him, before taking Arcas' hand in his. "Alright, sir, where to?"

"I'm hungry!" Arcas declared, and wide eyed, surveyed his new surroundings. He had been to Corinth on market days, but Attica was much larger. Everywhere they turned there were people yelling, bustling back and forth carrying their newly purchased goods, or street peddlers shoving their wares in their face.

"I'm sure there's no shortage of food here, kiddo. Come on, and hold on to my hand the whole time, okay?"

Arcas nodded, never taking his eyes off the array of people, and allowed Hercules to lead him off in the search of food.

The market was crowded, and Hercules had spent more time lightly shoving people out of the way and saying "Excuse me" than he was pointing out interesting sights to his son. Arcas, for his part, just gaped in open mouthed astonishment at everything around him.

"This is so cool!" he said, standing on his tip toes as they waited for their turn at a merchant who was selling what looked like lamb stuck on a stick. Hercules hoped it wasn't one of Falafel's stands. He really didn't feel like listening to the so-called chef talk about his newest culinary creations.

Arcas suddenly became more wiggly than usual as he held onto Hercules' hand, and the demigod glanced down at him, distracted. "What are you doing?"

Arcas kept looking at the ground, his body turning one way and then the other. "My soldier!" he exclaimed. "I lost it!"

Hercules let go of Arcas' hand and knelt down. "You didn't leave it in the carriage?"

"No!" Arcas said, lip trembling.

"Are you sure?"

"No, I didn't leave him, I put him in my belt." Arcas' eyes were shining with unshed tears. "We have to find him!"

Hercules sighed. "Arcas, if you dropped it, it's probably already gone. There are too many people here." He stood back up and looked around over the crowd. "I'm sorry, buddy, but there is no way we are going to find-" Hercules stopped as he looked back down to where Arcas had been standing, his insides turning to ice.

Arcas was gone.

* * *

Arcas wasn't sure how he had gotten lost, exactly, but he knew he was. And he also knew he was going to be in Big Trouble when his father found him.

He knew he had seen a girl over by these tents, and she was holding his wooden soldier. Arcas scowled, poking his head around the corner. He had taken a few steps to run after her, and the next thing he knew, he couldn't see his father anymore. He had bit his lip, torn between staying put and getting his toy, and in the end, his curiosity got the better of him and he had run after the girl.

Now she was nowhere to be found, and Arcas was starting to panic. His father warned him not to talk to strangers, and he was surrounded by strangers. How was he going to get help? _Maybe I should look for a guard_ , he thought. Guards were good. They would take him back to his father.

Arcas turned back around to start heading to what he thought was the direction of the big palace when he almost ran smack into a small form with large, curly blond hair. He yelped and jumped backward. It was the girl he had been chasing.

"Hello!" she said. She had his toy soldier in her hand. "You dropped this." The girl held it out to Arcas, who quickly grabbed it. She cocked her head to the side, studying him, and smiled. "What's your name?"

Arcas wasn't sure how to respond. He didn't have many friends in Corinth, besides Evander, and that didn't really count because Evander was his cousin. "A-Arcas," he stuttered. Then he looked around. "What are you doing out here?"

"I live here," she said simply. Arcas thought she was dressed pretty fancy, and she had some kind of gold band around her head. "Do you want to play?"

"I'll get in trouble. My daddy is looking for me." Arcas glanced around again. "Do you know any guards?"

To his amazement, the girl just laughed at him. "Of course I do. Come with me!" She grabbed his hand and pulled him down the street.

* * *

Hercules tore through the market, not caring who or what he ran into.

"Arcas!" he yelled, frantically. "Arcas, answer me!" He felt sick. This is what he had been afraid of. _Why didn't I hold on tighter? Why did I take my eyes off him?_ He mentally kicked himself for not humoring Arcas and at least trying to find his toy. _There are so many people…_ Arcas could have been with any of them, any one of them could have taken him. Attica didn't allow slaves, but that wouldn't stop people from watching and waiting for a parent, like Hercules, to look away for one second…

Hercules forced himself to calm down and breathe. He had gone over with Arcas on the way to Attica what to do if they got separated. He took a few more deep breaths, and then started towards the palace.

About halfway there, he came to a large fountain and what he assumed was the center of town. To his surprise, a large number of Attica's royal guards were gathered there, and also a small carriage. It was not as large as the ones the convoy from Corinth had come in. It looked like it only comfortably sat two people.

He approached two guards who were chatting away animatedly. "I just don't understand how she got away so fast!" one was saying. He had gray hair, and had a more scholarly look to him then what Hercules would expect from a palace guard. His partner, who had a round face and brown hair, was looking around, worriedly.

"Excuse me," Hercules said as he came up to them. They spun, apparently unaware of his presence. He held his hands up to show he was unarmed. "Sorry, didn't mean to startle you. It's just that I'm looking for my son. We got separated in the market." Neither man answered him. They just blinked up at him as if they had never seen anything like him before. "Uh… it sounds like you're looking for someone, too? Anyway, his name is Arcas. He's only four, and he's got dark blond hair, blue eyes… he's wearing a red tunic-"

"Hercules?" the older man asked, incredulously. Hercules raised his eyebrows. That explained why they were staring at him. They must have recognized him from all the stories.

"Yes, I'm Hercules." He held out his hand to clasp with the older man's. "You are..?"

"This is Linus," the older man said, indicating his partner. "I'm-"

"Hector!" a tiny voice called out.

All three men turned to see a small blond girl running toward them, followed by a small boy. "Arcas!" Hercules shouted, relieved. He knelt on the ground and grabbed his son in a hug. "Gods, Arcas, are you okay?" Hercules pushed Arcas back so that he could look at his face. "Let me look at you. Are you hurt?" He spun him around, checking to make sure every inch of his son was still in perfect health.

"Dad, I'm fine," Arcas groaned, pushing him away. "Meg found my toy."

"Meg?" Hercules turned instead to the little girl that stood beside Arcas, grinning.

"Meg!" Hector and Linus both yelled, storming over. The girl's smile immediately evaporated, and she tried to hide behind Hercules.

"Meg, come away from him this instant," Hector ordered. Meg poked her head out from behind Hercules' arm to quickly shake her head no, and then proceed to hide again.

"Am I in trouble?" Arcas asked his father, cautiously. He looked from Hercules to Hector and Linus and back again.

"No, you're not in trouble, I'm just glad you're okay. What's going on here?" He stood up, one hand on Arcas' shoulder, the other on the young girl's.

"I saved him!" Meg explained. "He lost his toy, and I brought it to him, and then I was bringing him to Hector to find you, but you were already here, and I'm sorry." She finished in a rush, looking up at Hector and Hercules sheepishly.

"You ran off again. Your mother is beside herself!" Hector glowered disapprovingly as Linus went to rejoin the rest of the guards. "The convoy from Corinth is here today. You were supposed to behave."

"But, Arcas-"

"None of that, none of that. I will not have you blame this young boy." He took Meg's hand and started leading her back to the carriage. "I am glad you found your son, Hercules. I assume you came with your brother King Iphicles?"

"Uh, yes. I thought it would be good for Arcas to get out of the house," he said, absently. He was trying to remember where he had heard their names before. He tried to unobtrusively look Hector over once more. "Hector… and Linus?" He then remembered that these were the two guards that Iolaus had met and befriended on his first trip to Attica. In fact, Hector was the one who talked Iolaus into impersonating Orestes in the first place. "Wait, you two knew Iolaus. He told me-"

"I am sorry, Hercules, but we really must go," Hector interrupted. Hercules thought he looked nervous. He tugged on the girl's hand to encourage her. "Come along, Princess."

Hercules blinked in surprise. _Princess?_ He watched Hector put the little girl in the carriage and then take his place with the rest of the guards. She poked her head out the window and waved sadly as they drove away.

" _That's_ why she was dressed funny!" Arcas exclaimed. "She's a princess! Did I have funny clothes like that when I left Kastus?"

"No." He put his thoughts on Hector and Linus aside for the moment and looked down to regard his son sternly. "Arcas, what were you thinking? What if someone had taken you?" Hercules picked him up and carried him back towards the main marketplace.

"I thought you said I wasn't in trouble."

"You're not, but I'm still upset. Never do that again, okay? I thought I'd lost you."

"I'm sorry."

Hercules found a bench and sat down. Setting Arcas back on the ground, he made him turn to look at him. "Arcas, it's very dangerous for you to run off like that without me."

Arcas scuffed his feet, kicking up clouds of dust. "I know."

"Then why did you do that?"

Arcas shrugged. "I wanted my toy. And Meg wanted to play with me. I thought she could be my friend."

Hercules sighed, and put his hands on his son's tiny shoulders. "It's fine for you to have friends. Just ask me next time. Arcas… you need to understand, not everyone is good. There are people who… who would take you away from me."

"But you fight all the bad people," Arcas said, confidently. Hercules smiled sadly and tried to find the right words to explain without frightening him.

"That's right, I do. But, sometimes, I can't fight them all. _You_ are the most important thing to me. Not Jason, not Iphicles, not… not even Iolaus. _You._ If something happened to you, I don't know what I would do."

Arcas was staring at him with a vacant expression, and Hercules knew that he was trying to decipher all the feelings he was getting from his father. "I'm sorry," he said finally, looking down at his soldier. "I won't leave you. I promise."

Hercules pressed his forehead to Arcas'. "Good man. Well, I don't know about you, but I have about had it with this place. You ready to go find your uncles?"

Arcas nodded. "Does that mean we get to go to the palace with Meg?" he asked, hopefully.

Hercules stood up and took Arcas' hand. He didn't know why, but he felt like Hector had been behaving oddly. They didn't look surprised to see him; more like nervous or antsy. And for whatever reason, they did not want him talking to the little girl. He shook his head. Jason would just say he was being paranoid. "How old do you think she was?" he asked Arcas, who gave him an odd look.

"How should I know? I'm just a kid."

"Right." He pursed his lips. "She looked like she was your age."

"You're being weird," Arcas sighed and started pulling him down the street.

"Yeah, you're probably right. Come on," he said, picking Arcas up and swinging him onto his shoulders. "Let's go." But he couldn't get the image of the little blond girl out of his head. Her, or the shocked look on Hector and Linus' faces when they figured out who he was.

No, there was definitely something going on. And he didn't like it.

* * *

At first the guards were reluctant to let Hercules and Arcas through the gates, but luckily one of Iphicles' attendants had been stationed there as well and explained they were members of the royal party.

"This is King Iphicles' brother _Hercules_ , you fool," the attendant hissed at the poor guard as they walked in and the gates clanged shut behind him. Hercules shrugged apologetically, and he and Arcas followed the Corinthian into the palace.

The halls were pristine and finely decorated, making Iphicles' palace look bland in comparison. The Attican royals definitely had a taste for the ornate. Hercules and his son were led through a series of hallways before stopping in front of a room with large double doors.

"They're still in negotiations," the aide explained, "but I can try to let Jason know that you've arrived."

"That's alright. We can meet up with him later." Hercules could hear bits and pieces of the conversation through the doors, and it sounded like whatever they were saying was getting heated. "If you could just show us to our room that would be great."

"But, I want to see Uncle Jason," Arcas whined, tugging on Hercules' tunic insistently.

"Arcas, what did I tell you? I said that they were going to be busy today."

The doors opened a crack, and an Attican guard popped his head out. "Is there a problem?" he asked, in a tone that said there had better not be.

"All the surrounding Athenian provinces have signed the accord," the conversation carried through the door. From the clipped and precise way the statement sounded, Hercules assumed that had to be King Amphion.

"Well," Iphicles said, obviously trying to remain pleasant but failing miserably, "we're not _part_ of the Athenian provinces."

"Thank the gods," Jason muttered, loudly enough that if Hercules could hear him, than so could everybody else. Hercules shook his head, and started backing up away from the door. "Sorry. We were just leaving…"

"What Jason means is-" Iphicles began, but was cut off when Jason caught a glimpse of Hercules and Arcas through the gap the guard was leaving that lead into the hallway.

"Hercules!" Jason exclaimed, rising out of his seat. The guard looked annoyed, but begrudgingly opened the doors the rest of the way into a large room with a long wooden table. "What a surprise! We could really use your input." He shot Hercules a look that read _Help me._

Hercules suppressed a groan. Taking Arcas' hand, he took a few steps into the room. "Sorry, everyone. We didn't mean to disturb."

"So, this is the famous Hercules?" A man rose from the head of the table and joined Jason. He was dressed in fine clothes of blue and silver, and had reddish brown hair with a matching, shortly trimmed beard. He wore a thick gold band around his head, as did the woman who he had been sitting next to. It was very similar to the one the young girl, Meg, had worn as well. "I am King Amphion. Welcome to Attica." He held his hand out and Hercules' grasped it. "How wonderful that you were able to join your brother. Atticans are strong supporters of your great father Zeus."

Hercules guessed that the king's statement was supposed to impress him, and he tried to keep his face as neutral as possible. There were vague rumors about the deaths of Zeus and Hera here and there, but nothing substantial, and luckily nothing about the part he had played in it. Hercules assumed he had Xena to thank for that, while she had still been around. And the relationships he had with a few of his godly siblings, like Aphrodite, had kept it that way. He wasn't about to raise suspicions, so he just gave the king a small nod. "Uh… that's very nice. And, I'm not staying," he added, throwing Jason a look.

"Oh, but you must! Your input, as Jason said, would be most valuable!"

"Sorry. I'm just here to take Arcas back to our room." He glanced around the king to where the woman was still sitting. "We had a little mishap in the market."

The king followed his gaze. "Ah! Allow me to introduce you to my wife Niobe, Queen of Attica."

Niobe, who was dressed similarly to the king, rose and came to greet Hercules. She had a head full of brown, tight curls, and was tall for a woman. She moved gracefully, and smiled kindly at him and Arcas as she came over. Hercules was having no problem figuring out why his friend had found her so alluring. "So… you're Hercules." She tilted her head, regarding him. Hercules wasn't sure how much Amphion knew of the whole Orestes/Iolaus situation, so he kept quiet. "It's an honor to finally put a face to the name."

"Likewise," Hercules said. "I, uh, wanted to let you know that if it hadn't been for Meg, I probably wouldn't have found Arcas this afternoon when he ran off."

Arcas, for his part, just waved jauntily, as if the entire thing had been a great game. But Niobe blinked, and Hercules thought he caught a flash of fear in her eyes.

Amphion's eyes narrowed and he regarded his wife, suspiciously. "Meg?"

Niobe smiled, taking her husband's hand. "It was nothing, my dear. Hector and Linus were watching her, and she managed to get away from them. But, as Hercules said, it was to help his son. She's in her room now."

"Hercules?" Iphicles asked from across the room. "What's going on?" He managed to look both concerned and annoyed at the same time. Hercules inwardly winced. The two of them had gotten a lot closer over the past few years, but the demigod knew there was still a lot of resentment in his older brother. And this was Iphicles' trip – it wasn't his intention for all eyes to suddenly be on him instead.

"Nothing. I just wanted to say thank you." Hercules returned his gaze to Amphion, who was looking like he was trying to hold his temper.

"Well," Niobe began, "it was very nice to meet you, Hercules. But, we really should continue with the negotiations. If that is all right with you, my king?"

Amphion glanced at her, distractedly. "Yes. Yes, of course. Pleasure to meet you, Hercules. And please, if you need anything, don't hesitate to ask." He and his wife made their way back to their seats, and Iphicles sat back down as well, seemingly satisfied all was in order.

Hercules gave Jason a small pat on the shoulder. "Have fun."

"Oh, I will. And I'll tell you all about it later," Jason growled at him under his breath, and then rejoined the rest of the party.

"But," Arcas began as he and Hercules made their way out the door, "I wanted to ask if I could play with Meg some more."

Hercules turned back to look at the king and queen. The mere mention of Meg had Amphion's eyebrow twitching. Niobe caught his eye, and then quickly looked down at the table. "Not now," Hercules told him, and they left as the doors closed shut after them.

* * *

Hercules had managed to get Arcas down for a nap once they had gotten to their room, which gave him some time to be alone with his thoughts. Probably too much time, Hercules mused, because his mind was working furiously, coming up with all sorts of crazy explanations as to why Hector and Linus, and now Niobe, were acting extremely uncomfortable with the fact that he had accompanied his brother and Jason. And those crazy explanations usually ended with him assuming that their behavior centered around the fact that Niobe had a daughter, presumably _not_ with Amphion, because after some digging he found out that Niobe had not taken her second husband until three years ago. And how said daughter was about the same age as Arcas, seemed to have a penchant for getting into trouble, had blond hair, and reminded Hercules of a very similar blond haired, blue eyed child he used to know that used to steal cookies and also drive his mother to insanity.

 _That's crazy… insane. You've gone insane_ , he told himself. _Iolaus has been gone for a year and you'll say and do anything to hold on to him. Such as make up paranoid theories as to why no one likes you and how Niobe's daughter is the right age to coincidentally overlap with the last time Iolaus came out here. Yep. Crazy. You're losing it._

He forced himself to remember that Iolaus and Orestes were identical, which is why Iolaus had been able to pass off as the king not only once, but twice. Iolaus had mentioned that Niobe and Orestes' relationship hadn't gotten off to a great start, but the line had to continue, so obviously an heir was bound to happen. _Around the same time as Orestes' death?_ Hercules thought, frowning. _It's just damned weird._ He shook his head. _Come on, Hercules. Iolaus fell in love faster than you could drop a hat, but this was his cousin's wife. His_ dead _cousin's wife. Not even cold in the ground. He wouldn't…. would he?_

Hercules decided he better not answer that question.

If Hercules had just randomly met the king, queen, and little princess over dinner or at some other function, he doubted he would be as inclined to question the situation. But, it was the way they reacted to him, as if scared of him. Or maybe not of him, but of him figuring out that Meg was not Orestes' daughter and the jig would be up. No one but Niobe, Hector, and Linus knew of Iolaus' impersonations. So, it would stand to reason that everyone in the kingdom, including Amphion, believed she was the daughter of Orestes, and heir apparent.

 _So, now there's a conspiracy? You really have to get out more, old man._

Hercules had left Arcas in the care of one of the Corinthian aides that had accompanied them and was walking in circles around the palace gardens for the last hour. He knew if he told Jason his theory, the former king would tell him exactly what he was telling himself: that he was being paranoid. He'd probably say a few other things, too, that would be a little more colorful and center on Hercules' obsessive tendencies and being a half god.

Hercules sighed. _This is ridiculous. What am I going to do? Walk up to the queen and say, "Hey is that the illegitimate daughter of my best friend?"_ It would certainly make the trip more interesting.

 _Let it go. You have to let it go. Even if she is, you can't prove it and there's nothing you can do about it. Let it go, Hercules. Stop being crazy, and Let It Go._

He turned the corner of a large rose bush, intending to go back to the palace and see if Jason and Iphicles were on a break, when he caught a bundle of blond hair out of the corner of his eye, whipping around the next corner. Hercules narrowed his eyes and frowned. _Don't do it, Herc. Turn around, and go back to your room._

He started to turn and go back to the castle, but then stopped himself. He tapped his foot on the ground, turned in a circle, and then started back up the path in the same direction.

He got two paces before turning around once again and heading off after what he was sure was little Meg, shaking his head and cursing at himself.

 _You idiot._

He turned another corner and found the young princess sitting in the dirt. The thin gold band that Hercules assumed was her crown was hanging lopsidedly on her head, and she had either lost or just plain gotten rid of her shoes. She was wearing the same fine, light blue dress that she'd been wearing earlier that day, only now the bottom was streaked with dirt. She was using her tiny hands to dig a small hole in one of the larger garden beds. "Hello!" she said happily, looking up as he approached. "You're Hercalees, right?"

Hercules smiled. "Yes. I'm Hercules."

"You're Arcas' daddy," she informed him, continuing to tear up the ground. "I didn't mean to take his toy. I just wanted to play a game."

Hercules crouched down next to her. "It's okay. So… your name is Meg, huh?"

She pushed her hair out of her eyes, her nose getting smudged with dirt. "Megara. But, I like being called Meg."

"How old are you, Meg?"

"Four," she answered, before yelling triumphantly and holding up a worm. She grinned at it, and then put it in Hercules' hand. "You can have that one." She immediately plunged her hands into the muck again.

"Thanks. You use these to go fishing."

"Hector and Linus go fishing. My mommy says I'm not allowed."

Hercules deposited the worm back in the dirt and stared down at her as she went back to her hunt. "Aren't you supposed to be in your room?"

She immediately stopped and regarded him with an air of suspicion. Hercules got the feeling that she was about to bolt. "I'm not going to tell on you. I just thought your mommy would be worried."

Meg shrugged. "She always worries about me."

"Well, that's kind of her job," he told her, smiling.

"You sound like Hector." Meg stopped digging and put her hands in her lap. She studied him for a moment with her big blue eyes, and then asked, "Did you know my daddy?"

Hercules almost lost his balance and fell on his rump. "What?" he asked, heart racing.

"I heard Hector and Linus talking after they took me back home. They said you knew him. He died before I was born."

Hercules let out a breath. _Okay… so she meant Orestes._ "Uh… no. I never got to meet King Orestes. But, my friend did."

"He did?" she asked, excitedly. "Who? Who was your friend?"

Hercules was starting to think this had been a bad idea. _Of course it was a bad idea. You're trying to weasel information out of a four year old. You have officially reached a new low._ "Ummm…"

Luckily, he was saved by the arrival of Niobe, who he spotted coming down the garden path at high speed. "Megara!"

"Uh, oh," the girl sighed. She got up, wiping her hands off on her dress as she did so.

"How did you get out of your room?" Niobe demanded through clenched teeth.

Meg didn't answer. Hercules rose to his feet as well, looking back and forth between them. "I was out walking and I spotted her. I was about to bring her back to the castle. Uh, how goes the negotiations?"

Regaining some of her composure, Niobe smiled at him. "We needed a little break. So, I decided to come get some air."

"Yeah, well… Jason can make any room feel stuffy." He had meant it to be a joke, but the queen just gave him a quizzical glance. "Never mind."

Niobe shook it off and then bent down to speak with her daughter. "Meg, I think you would be much happier back in the nursery."

Meg gave her a look that said she wasn't buying it. "No, I don't think so."

Hercules covered his mouth so neither of them would see his smile. Niobe sighed and tried again. "Don't you want to go back and be with Orion?"

"No," the girl answered truthfully, "I hate Orion."

"Megara. You do not hate your brother."

Meg again didn't respond, and Hercules could tell that Niobe was trying very hard to keep her regal cool in front of him. "Meg? How about I walk with you and your mom back to the castle. Would you like that?"

"Yay!" the girl exclaimed and took his hand. This time, Hercules did laugh at the exasperated expression on Niobe's face.

"They always do what their told, unless it's you telling them to do it," he said, making Niobe smile.

"Very true."

"Arcas is the same way. It's a phase. They're just trying to assert some independence."

They walked the garden grounds back to the castle in silence, Niobe only breaking it once they had reached the archway the lead back into the main hallways. "I have to say, I was surprised to see you here. Iphicles mentioned he would be bringing Jason as a consultant, but neither of them mentioned you."

"It was kind of a spur of the moment thing. Really, it was Arcas who talked me into it. He wanted to take a trip. But, I think we both needed to get out of the house."

"What is it that you're doing now?" Niobe asked him.

"Farming, mostly. I still help people, when I can. But, my main responsibility right now is Arcas."

"Do I have to go back to my room?" Meg whined. "Can't I see Arcas?"

Hercules tried to read Niobe's expression out of the corner of his eye. "Well, Arcas was asleep when I left-" They turned the corner to see Jason, and Arcas, coming down the hall toward them.

"Dad!" Arcas yelled, happily, tearing off in front of Jason.

"But now he's awake," Hercules finished. Meg wriggled of his hand and ran up to meet Arcas. "Uh, Jason?"

"He was up when I went to your room. He wanted to come looking for you," Jason explained. "I needed to stretch my legs anyway."

"I assume that the negotiations are ready to resume?" Niobe asked Jason, never taking her eyes of Meg and Arcas.

Jason suppressed a grimace. "Probably. Did you want to head back?" He followed Niobe's gaze. "And who's this?"

"Jason, this is Megara, my daughter."

"Ah, the famous Megara from the marketplace," Jason said, giving her a smile. "I heard you saved the day, young lady."

Meg giggled, but Arcas scowled. "I could have found my way back," he grumbled.

"That's what you get for running off in the first place." Jason shook his head. "Anyway… If you're ready, Your Majesty?"

Niobe kept throwing glances at Arcas and Meg, so Hercules stepped forward. "I don't mind watching her. She obviously wants to stay with Arcas, and I have a feeling that even if you don't agree, she'll find a way regardless."

This seemed to have the opposite effect and only make Niobe appear more nervous. She kept wringing her hands, and Hercules noticed that she was no longer looking at Meg, but at Iolaus' amulet that Hercules wore around his neck. "That's his, isn't it?" she asked.

Hercules and Jason exchanged glances. Both of them knew who she was referring to. "Yes. He gave it to me last year, before he left."

This brought Niobe up short. "What do you mean, before he left?" She looked extremely confused, and Hercules wasn't quite sure what to say. Of course she wouldn't know that he had gone to the East, but by the look on Niobe's face she was in complete and utter shock at what Hercules had said.

Before he could ask, they all turned at the sound of approaching footsteps. "There you are!" Iphicles said, hurrying over. "We're about to start again."

Niobe turned back to Hercules, who tried to look reassuring. "Seriously, she can stay with me. It's fine."

She finally nodded and allowed Iphicles to take her arm. "Behave yourself, please," she called back to Meg as they walked off.

Jason watched them go, and then turned to Hercules. "What was that about?"

"I'm not sure. If I didn't know any better, I would think she still thought he was…" but he trailed off, because he suddenly realized why what he said had sounded so strange. "Oh, no."

"Dead?" Jason asked, eyebrows going up. "You think she still thought he was dead?"

"I don't know. It was common knowledge, but with the other Iolaus and then him coming back, I'm sure some stories got confused. But, we can talk about it later. You better get going."

"Yeah, yeah," Jason grumbled, and followed Niobe and Iphicles. "We're all having dinner later together in the main hall. I think you're invited. You better not skip that, too. Amphion will be _very_ disappointed if the great Son of Zeus doesn't join us."

Hercules just gave him a dismissive wave as he turned the corner and disappeared. _So, Niobe thought Iolaus was dead, Meg may or may not be Iolaus' lovechild, and I'm having dinner with the royals. Should have just gone camping._


	4. Chapter Four

**Chapter Four**

 **Now**

"I'm Arcas. Hercules is my father."

Iolaus was still gripping the young man's forearm, his mind trying to grasp what he had just heard. _His father… Hercules has a son?_ He realized his mouth was hanging open, and he shut it quickly. "Sorry," he said in embarrassment, dropping his hand.

Arcas just laughed. "It's okay. I'm kind of used to it. And, it was a surprise to him, too." He winked.

Iolaus was at a loss of how to proceed. He was prepared for Jason, and for having time to come up with what he wanted to say to Hercules when he finally found him. This development had knocked him off balance. _Hercules has a son, Jason's living at the Academy, and Hercules and Arcas are living in his house. And Hercules has a_ son _. A family_. And he had missed out on all of that…

"He's here," Arcas told him, interrupting his reverie. "If you want to see him."

Iolaus felt his heart skip in a sudden panic at Arcas' words. It was as if everything had abruptly become real for him. _Gods,_ _I don't know if I'm ready for this… What do I say? What do I do?_ Clearing his throat awkwardly, he started to say, "Oh, um… actually, that's okay…" when he heard a familiar voice coming from the back of the house.

"Arcas! Are you still working out there?"

Arcas glanced back inside and then gave Iolaus a grin. "Sort of," he called back.

Iolaus felt like there was a rock sitting in his stomach. Hearing that voice sent another jolt through his system and he tried to quell his mounting anxiety. He was still trying to remember how to get his mouth to work when Arcas sighed and pulled the shovel back out of the ground, laying it across his shoulder. "Well… this is going to be super awkward," he said.

Iolaus didn't know whether to laugh at that or not, and he didn't have a chance to decide as familiar heavy footfalls sounded from inside the house.

"Arcas, come on, let's eat!" Hercules was saying as he came on the porch to fetch his son, but stopped in the doorway, a look of absolute shock on his face. "Oh my gods…" he whispered.

All the anxiety, all the uncertainty melted off Iolaus' shoulders when he saw him. _He hasn't changed at all…_ Hercules had a few more lines on his face than the last time Iolaus had seen him, but for the most part, the demigod still looked as he had twenty years ago. His hair was a bit shorter, not quite down to his shoulders, and the small amount of stubble he had on his jaw was graying. But… he was still Hercules.

Arcas had respectfully moved out of the way to give his father room to come off the porch and into the yard. Hercules still had that look on his face, as if he expected Iolaus to suddenly turn to smoke and disappear. "Iolaus?" he asked, incredulously.

Iolaus felt his eyes welling up. _I'm home_ , he thought, _really home._ It was a strange feeling. He knew that things had changed but at the same time, it was like no time had passed at all.

Hercules was still staring at him, and Arcas was starting to look back and forth between them, oddly.

"Dad?" he prompted. "You okay?" But Hercules ignored him.

"Iolaus?" Hercules asked again.

Iolaus smiled. "Hey, Herc." His voice sounded strange, and he realized he had been holding his breath. He let it out, and smiled even bigger. "I'm home."

Hercules crossed distance between the porch and Iolaus in two big strides and grabbed him, hoisting him up off the ground in a rib cracking embrace. "Iolaus! I- I can't believe it!" He started laughing, deep, joyful laughter. Iolaus started laughing too, and he hugged the demigod back with all his strength.

Hercules finally released him, planting his feet back down on the ground. "I can't believe it's you!" he said again. He put his hands on Iolaus' shoulders and stared down into his eyes. "Gods! It's been, what…"

"Twenty years, yeah," Iolaus finished. "It's been a really long time." He thought he saw a flash of sadness in Hercules' eyes, but it was gone so quickly, that Iolaus assumed he must have imagined it. Hercules just shook his head and slapped Iolaus on the back. There was a cough from behind him, and he looked back over at Arcas, and almost as if remembering he was there, exclaimed, "Oh, right! Arcas! Iolaus, this is my son Arcas." He gestured back and forth between his friend and his son. "Arcas this… this is Iolaus." He said Iolaus' name as if he was still in awe of the fact that he was there.

"Yeah, we've met," Arcas said in an amused way that suggested he was totally judging his father's behavior. "I was here when he got here, remember?"

"Right, right, of course." Hercules just kept standing there, grinning at him. Iolaus knew how he felt. It still felt so surreal, to be back in Greece, back here at the house, with Hercules.

Arcas put the shovel back on the ground and leaned against one of the porch posts, regarding the two men as they got reacquainted. When neither man moved, he finally said, "Dad, are we going to eat this duck, or are you just going to make us sit out here and have slop with the pigs?"

"Hmmm?" Hercules asked, not paying attention. "Oh, yeah, Iolaus come on in! We were just about to eat dinner," he said, slapping Iolaus on the back once more and heading inside.

"No, no, that's okay," Iolaus said. "I don't want to intrude." He was still reeling from the thought that he was back home. It felt good, and yet it felt… strange. He felt like he was interrupting some quality family time. And he got the feeling that Arcas was not as thrilled as Hercules was at Iolaus' return. Why had he said it was going to be awkward?

But to his surprise, Arcas said, "Don't be ridiculous," at the same time Hercules said, "You're not intruding!"

They sounded so alike that Iolaus had to laugh.

"Come on, Iolaus, you're family," Hercules said, and starting pushing him to the door. "You came all this way, of course you're eating with us."

"Alright, alright," Iolaus gave in, and followed Arcas into the house, while Hercules brought up the rear.

Hercules caught the look his son was giving him over Iolaus' head. The high Hercules had been feeling upon seeing Iolaus was wearing off as the implications of what him being back meant. There was so much that needed to be said, and there was so much that had changed. He could tell Arcas was tense, as he set an extra plate for Iolaus and politely asked what he could get him to eat. And Iolaus… Iolaus seemed so different. He was calmer, not to mention tanner. And he had cut all his hair off! He was wearing clothes made out of some kind material that Hercules had never seen before, and he could have sworn he saw a blue tattoo on his chest.

Twenty years was a long time, and while Hercules was overjoyed at the sudden arrival of Iolaus, there was also a lot of pain. Pain that he had thought he'd put behind him a long time ago. And there was so much Iolaus didn't know…

Arcas gave him a firm glare and raised his eyebrows, as if to say, _Are you coming or not?_

 _Oh boy…_ Hercules thought, tiredly. _How am I going to do this?_

* * *

 **Then – Hercules**

The rest of the day went relatively smoothly. Hercules had followed Meg and Arcas back out to the gardens so they could run around. He had never seen Arcas so happy. He was usually quite shy with other children and preferred the company of adults. That alone was enough to make the trip worth it, no matter what else transpired.

Meg was a whirling tornado of energy, even more so than Arcas. She was full of bright, bouncy excitement, and Hercules had himself half convinced that maybe there was some truth to his paranoid theory after all. She was talking a mile a minute, constantly tripping over her royal garments, and had taken her crown off her head and was twirling it around as they walked. Arcas just mostly nodded, trying to keep up. _She's going to be a ball buster_ , Hercules thought, grinning. If she _was_ Iolaus' daughter, he'd be pleased by that.

Thinking of Iolaus brought on a pang of sadness. He had a feeling that he had guessed right about Niobe's reaction earlier, and the Queen had truly thought that Iolaus was dead. He wasn't surprised. They had still gotten strange and surprised looks from people occasionally after he had returned from the Light. And Iolaus had written to his mother and Pandeon to let them know what had happened, but when Hercules had brought up Nebula, Iolaus had shut down. If he hadn't told Nebula, he definitely hadn't told Niobe. _Speaking of Nebula, I really should let her know what's been going on…_ He'd been hesitant to do so, figuring it was Iolaus' business. But, Iolaus wasn't here.

Hercules shook his head in disgust, glancing down at the two children, who were still chattering away. _You're missing so much, Iolaus_.

There was also the possibility that this entire thing was just a hell of a coincidence, and that Meg was Orestes' daughter, and Hercules was dead wrong. But, the demigod had a feeling in his gut that something just wasn't right about the situation. He was probably grasping at straws, trying to find aspects of Iolaus to hold on to wherever he looked, but it was a feeling that he couldn't ignore. He just didn't know how to approach the subject, or really, if he even should. He would admit to himself that he had a problem with sticking his nose where it didn't belong. It was his job, after all. If he didn't, he would never have saved or helped as many people as he did. Getting involved was what he did best. The difficulty was deciding when not to.

The sun had started setting, so Hercules brought the two children back inside and to the room he and Arcas had been given. They were playing with the two toys Arcas had brought along, Arcas allowing Meg to play the part of the warrior while he played the dragon. Or rather, he'd been brow beaten by Meg into admitting that girls could be warriors, too. He'd heard enough stories about Xena and Gabrielle to fight too hard about it.

There was a knock on the door, and Hercules got up to answer while Meg and Arcas argued over whether Meg's warrior had made a legitimate move against the dragon ("Warriors can't fly!"). To his chagrin, it was one of the servants, sent to retrieve Meg and escort him to dinner. "I have been instructed to take the princess and her friend back to the nursery."

Hercules glanced over his shoulder. Meg and Arcas froze, watching the exchange with interest. _There's no getting out of this, I guess._ "All right, just give me one moment." He walked over to them and crouched down to their eye level. "Arcas, I have to go to dinner with Jason and Iphicles. This man is going to take you and Meg to another part of the castle to be with Meg's brother."

"I thought we were going camping?" He crossed his arms indignantly. "You said you weren't going to have to do all this grown up stuff."

Hercules sighed. "Well, I thought so, too. But, the king would really like me there and it's not polite to say no. We can still go camping, just after dinner. How's that?"

Arcas still looked unconvinced, but he grudgingly nodded. Meg, however, looked mutinous, but allowed Hercules to take her and Arcas' hands and lead them to the door.

The servant offered him a curt nod and turned away. "Follow me."

Hercules led the two children down the halls to the other wing of the castle reserved for the Attican royals and their personal attendants. He left Meg and Arcas in the nursery with another servant – a young lady – and a two year old boy with dark hair that Hercules assumed was Orion. Meg took Arcas' hand and led him to the opposite side of the room, obviously trying to put as much distance between them, her younger brother, and the servant girl as possible. Hercules thought he caught site of a bassinet and raised his eyebrows. _Been busy_ , he mused, as there was no way that tiny crib was for the toddler. He made Arcas and Meg both promise to be on their best behavior, and he also made a point of telling Meg not to go sneaking out again. "You don't want to get Arcas in trouble, right?" he asked her, which seemed to mollify her. Obviously, the threat of her friend being taken away was more than enough to convince her to stay put. Then he followed the first servant down the hall to the main dining area.

Dinner was about as socially awkward as he expected it to be. It sounded like negotiations were at a head, but he could tell that Iphicles was very put off by Amphion, and he knew that Jason just straight up didn't like the guy. Hercules was having a hard time deciding either way. He was like most kings, besides his brother and Jason, and mostly just enjoyed listening to himself talk. And he was quite snobby, often complaining of the Attican weather ("It's never this humid in Kyros.") and the food ("No flavor at all, but we make do.") Amphion, he had found out, was originally some kind of higher lord from a neighboring city state. Niobe, who was already a princess when she married Orestes, had legitimate claim to the throne once Orestes passed away. Hercules found it extremely odd that she would sit back and let Amphion do most of the talking and negotiating. Iolaus had described her as a headstrong, independent woman. But, people could change. The day to day activities of ruling Attica seemed to still belong to Niobe, as Hercules got the impression that dealing with the problems of his subjects wasn't exactly Amphion's strong suit. The whole thing confused the hell out of him. From the outside, they didn't look like a good match at all.

Jason and Iphicles had a little too graciously accepted the wine once it had started being passed around, and Hercules' cup had been filled before he could explain that he didn't drink. Not wanting to be rude, he swirled it around occasionally and stared into it, mostly so he could just find something else to look at besides Jason's permanent scowl and Niobe's look of extreme discomfort. _I'm obviously not the only one who doesn't want to be here._ Things got even worse when conversation ultimately returned back to the peace plan negotiations.

"It's a pact to say we have each other's backs and won't go to war," Amphion was saying, looking harried. "I fail to see what the issue is with that."

"It could also be interpreted as we can't stand up against you if you or your allies do something we don't agree with," Iphicles argued. He was trying to catch Jason's eye in an effort to get him to back him up, but the former king seemed extremely interested in the many tapestries that adorned the walls.

Niobe took her husband's hand. "I thought we had agreed to leave politics aside this evening."

Amphion frowned at her, but eventually acquiesced. "As usual, my wife is correct. We should be enjoying this time. Hercules," he called out, suddenly, almost making Hercules spill his wine down his front, "regale us with a story of one of your many adventures!"

Jason snorted in amusement and tried to hide it by taking a long swallow from his cup. Hercules ignored him and instead focused on Iphicles. This was his brother's trip, and he didn't want to take attention away from him. "I'm sure there are more interesting things to talk about," Hercules said, putting his wine down before he ended up wearing it.

"Don't be so modest! Perhaps the story of you and Jason and the famous Golden Fleece, in honor of Corinth's former king," Amphion said, indicating Jason with a nod. "Or the tale of the Nemean Lion? Or any of the others, of course. Say…" he added, as an afterthought, "didn't you have a companion? Someone you traveled around with? What _was_ his name? Blond fellow."

"Iolaus," Hercules, Jason, Iphicles, and Niobe all answered together.

Amphion blinked. "Right." He gave Niobe a sideways glance. She was blushing furiously. "You're familiar with him, Niobe?"

The queen briefly met Hercules' eyes before focusing on her husband. "He was Orestes' cousin, my king. Remember?"

"Oh, yes, yes, that's right. Damned strange situation, that business with his brother during the coronation. Niobe told me. Lucky your friend came along when he did."

Hercules raised his eyebrows in surprise. "You know about that?"

Amphion waved dismissively. "It's something of a local legend around here. The king's duplicate. The commoners get a kick out of it."

Now Iphicles was starting to look interested. "I don't follow. What happened during Orestes' coronation?"

"There was a plot by his brother Minos to kill Orestes and become king," Niobe explained. "Luckily Iolaus was an exact look alike of Orestes. Iolaus took his place during the coronation when Orestes was poisoned so that the crown would be passed down to the rightful ruler. Once the coronation was over, Iolaus turned the crown over to Orestes."

"Yes, it was all very intriguing," Amphion said, but he didn't seem that interested. Iphicles was glancing back and forth between Niobe and Hercules in open fascination.

"Is this true?" he asked his brother. Hercules' gaze lingered on Niobe a few moments longer, before nodding to Iphicles.

"Yes, it is. Iolaus told me about it."

"Iolaus," Iphicles repeated, astounded. "Iolaus was king. As in, _king_ king. Iolaus."

Hercules glared at him from across the table. "Yes, Iphicles."

" _Our_ Iolaus."

Jason's shoulders shook with silent laughter, and Hercules gave him a kick under the table. "What is so hard to understand about that?" he demanded, ignoring the scowl Jason shot at him.

Iphicles shrugged. "Nothing, I guess. It's just… you know… he's Iolaus. His royal etiquette is well… lacking."

"It was just for the day," Niobe interrupted, trying to regain control of the conversation. "Just long enough for Orestes to be named heir and king."

Hercules knew that was not entirely true. It had been longer than a day, and Iolaus, Hector, Linus, and Niobe had had to rescue Orestes and bring him back to Attica, and Minos had ultimately been killed. And Iolaus and Niobe had developed very strong feelings for each other.

"It wasn't common knowledge," Niobe continued. "Obviously, it would have ramifications if everyone knew about it, or if everyone knew that the King of Attica had a doppelgänger running around."

"As I said, local legend," Amphion said, unimpressed. "The people enjoy these sorts of things."

Iphicles was still starting at Hercules in bewilderment. "I just can't see it. Iolaus is a fantastic warrior, don't get me wrong…"

His brother's attitude was beginning to annoy him. Hercules decided to quickly change the subject. "Queen Niobe, I got a chance to see Orion when I took Meg and Arcas to the nursery. Do you and King Amphion have any other children?"

This got the desired effect, as both the king and queen smiled proudly. "Yes, a daughter Ariana. She was born three months ago."

"Congratulations," Jason said, and Hercules and Iphicles followed suit. "And Meg is-"

"-not mine," Amphion cut in, sharply. Jason's eyes widened and Hercules felt the temperature in the room drop immediately. Noticing how quiet everyone had obviously gotten, he elaborated, "What I mean is, she's Niobe's. From before."

"She's Orestes'," Niobe said, a bit sharply, "and heir to Attica." This seemed to make Amphion even more uncomfortable. Hercules wasn't sure why. Plenty of people remarried when they'd already had children. But, he assumed since none of his children with Niobe had any claim to the throne, it was something Amphion was not too pleased with. _So, he's possessive. And power hungry._ Hercules' opinion of the man was slowly going south.

"She and Arcas seem to be getting along well," Hercules said to Niobe, trying to gauge her reaction. But she merely smiled.

"That's wonderful."

Hercules smiled back, and the room fell once again into an awkward silence. _Oh, yeah. Definitely should have just gone camping._

Luckily the food was served not long after, and they could all avoid any more strained conversation. By the time it was over and Hercules was walking back to the nursery to retrieve Arcas, he was mentally exhausted. _I forgot how ridiculous some royalty could be_ , Hercules thought, thinking of his time in Kastus. The constant showiness and etiquette had annoyed him greatly then, too. _I have no idea how Iphicles does it. Or how Jason did it either. Or Iolaus, come to think of it._ He frowned. Iphicles had been kind of right about Iolaus. Or, a lot right, really. His friend was never one for standing upon ceremony, and he felt bad for getting so irritated with his brother over dinner. _I'll apologize later._

The dinner had gone on later than he had anticipated, and when he got to the nursery he found both Meg and Arcas lying next to each other, sound asleep. They were going to have to put off camping for a night. Hercules smiled as he stood over them. "I take it everything went okay?" he asked the servant girl.

"Oh, yes," she answered, softly. "Arcas is a very well behaved little boy. I think it's good for her."

He picked Arcas up carefully so as not to wake him. "Thank you," he mouthed to the girl and then headed back to their room.

It had been a long day for all involved, and Jason and Iphicles had already headed off to each of their assigned rooms. So, Hercules was more than a little surprised when he opened the door to his own room to see Niobe sitting in one of the plush chairs beside the bed. He stopped in the doorway, still holding Arcas, whose cheek was pressed against his chest. "Uh… hi," he said slowly, closing the door behind him.

She stood up when he entered, clasping her hands in front of her. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to intrude or startle you."

"It's your palace, so technically, you're not intruding." He crossed the room and laid Arcas gently on the bed. "Was there something else I could do for you?" he asked, studying her. She really was very pretty, as were all of Iolaus' loves.

She took a deep breath, as if steeling herself, and said, "I wanted to ask you about before. About-about Iolaus."

 _Ah_ , he thought. He hadn't had a chance at dinner to broach the subject of Iolaus being very much alive, and it wouldn't have been the place for it anyway. Hercules rubbed his chin, thoughtfully. "You thought he was dead, didn't you?"

"I had heard…" she began, but cleared her throat. Hercules was shocked to see that she was getting emotional. "I had heard that he wasn't in Greece when he died. And, no one could really tell me what had happened, only that he was dead. But, then I heard rumors that he wasn't, but that it wasn't really Iolaus…" She stopped, shaking her head in confusion.

After a few moments, Hercules explained, "He was in Sumeria. _We_ were in Sumeria. He sacrificed himself to save… someone."

Niobe put her hand to her mouth. "So, it's true? But, then what-"

"It's complicated," Hercules interrupted. He was not planning on having to go into full detail. Frustrated, he ran his hand through his hair. "Did you want to go for a walk and I can explain? I don't wake to wake Arcas up."

But Niobe shook her head. "No. It would be better if we were alone. Amphion knows some things, like you heard earlier. But, he doesn't know everything. He'd be suspicious, if I was asking so many questions about a man I was supposed to hardly know."

Hercules couldn't blame her for that. "I'm surprised you even told him that much. I thought it was supposed to be a secret?"

Niobe shrugged helplessly. "People in town, they talk. Some people swore they saw someone who looked like the king, but who wasn't him, or that they saw them together at the same time. Eventually, enough word got around to Amphion that he began asking questions about our marriage, and about Minos' death."

"So, you told him just enough so that he'd be satisfied."

"Yes."

Hercules nodded. "Fair enough." He could tell she was still waiting for him to answer her about Iolaus. "He's not dead anymore, Niobe. He's actually in the East. He's been there for the last year, studying."

Niobe breathed out a sigh of relief and collapsed back into the chair. "By the gods…. How is that possible?"

"Like I said, it's complicated. The stories you heard, about him being back but not really being him…" He stopped, trying to find the right words. And he didn't know if she meant Dahak, or the other Iolaus from the Sovereign's world. And he really didn't feel like going into detail about that. "Uh… there was a demon, a dark god. Dahak. He… he took Iolaus' body and came back to Greece to destroy the gods. We defeated him, and Iolaus' soul was able to move on. That was the short version. The whole situation was much, much worse."

Niobe looked horrified, and Hercules didn't blame her. Just talking about it was enough to make him sick.

"That was… well, two years ago now," Hercules added, surprised at how only a short amount of time had gone by. It felt like it had happened a lifetime ago. "Then there was this problem with the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse trying to destroy the world-"

Niobe's mouth dropped. "Wait, what?"

"Long story. Just… trust me. Anyway… yeah, had to save the world again and Iolaus somehow managed to sneak out of the afterlife and help me. But, he broke the rules, so they threw him out and brought him back to life as punishment." Hercules shrugged. "I didn't think that was much of a punishment, but… I guess Iolaus did," he added, bitterly.

"And, now he's in the East?"

Hercules swallowed and nodded, sitting down on the bed. "Yeah, in Chin. He's been there before. He said he had to figure some things out, after what had happened with Dahak. Like I said, that was a year ago." He knew he sounded bitter, but he didn't care. Except for that one letter telling him to stay away, he hadn't heard one peep out of Iolaus. He had tried to be understanding; his friend was going through something that he couldn't comprehend. But, the last year had been taxing on Hercules, as well as Jason and Arcas. His son had helped fill the hole that Iolaus had left, but occasionally he would still get pangs of grief and miss Iolaus terribly. Occasions like these.

Niobe looked white, and she was gripping her hands together tightly. Hercules frowned. "I didn't mean to upset you. I just… I thought you should know. Especially when you looked so shocked earlier today."

Seeming to come back to herself, she unlaced her fingers and took Hercules' hand. "No. I appreciate you telling me. I just can't believe he's alive…" She took a shaky breath.

Hercules realized that she had left him with the perfect opening, but he was unsure if he should take it. Actually, he knew he shouldn't take it. Questioning the legitimacy of someone's child was just something you didn't go around doing. But, she had been so emotional talking about Iolaus, and the look on her face after hearing that he was alive was not exactly relief. If anything, Hercules thought she looked confused. _You just told her someone died and came back from the dead, you idiot. Of course she's confused._ While that was, unfortunately, more commonplace in Hercules' life, for a normal person like Niobe, those types of things just didn't occur.

She suddenly gripped Hercules' hand harder, making him look into her eyes. "You have to understand, Hercules… I thought he was dead."

Hercules wasn't sure how to respond to that. "I know."

Niobe looked as if she wanted to say something else, but then changed her mind. She shook her curls down her back, and Hercules noticed that her royal mask was being firmly set back into place. "Thank you for telling me. I'm sure talking about it wasn't easy." She rose from the chair, and Hercules followed. "I'm actually very happy that you decided to accompany your brother. It's been… nice getting to know you. Iolaus spoke of you often, and very fondly. He cared… cares… for you a great deal."

Hercules thought she said that last part a bit wistfully, but let it go. Something had obviously happened with her and Iolaus, and he doubted he was going to be enlightened further. "It's been nice meeting you as well."

The queen squeezed his hand one more time, and then headed for the door. Hercules watched her go, knowing that they would probably not have another moment like this alone, without the company of attendants or her husband. He felt the question coming up and out of his mouth, like word vomit, and tried to stop it. _Don't ask her. Don't ask her that. Not your business._ He coughed, making Niobe slow and turn back around to look at him.

"Are you all right?" she asked, brow furrowed in concern.

"Yep," he said. "Sorry… not used to the, uh, humidity." _You jackass,_ he winced inwardly.

She looked unconvinced, but just nodded and turned to leave again.

"Wait," he heard himself say, and take an involuntary step toward her.

"Yes?"

 _Oh boy…_ "Um… so, about Meg… " he started, rubbing his hands on his pants in a nervous tick.

Niobe's eyes narrowed. "Yes? What about her?"

Hercules licked his lips. From the icy stare he was getting from Niobe, he knew he really should just leave it well enough alone. But… if there was a chance… "She _is_ Orestes' daughter… isn't she?" _Well, you did it. You actually did it. You know she could have you executed, don't you?_

Niobe stared at him for a long time, and Hercules couldn't read the expression on her face. It was somewhere between shock and anger at actually having been asked such a thing, and fear. Hercules held her gaze. He had committed, and he wasn't about to back down now.

Finally, Niobe straightened and fixed him with a haughty look that only those with privilege seemed to be able to muster. "Who else's would she be?" she asked with an air of finality.

Hercules let out the breath he had been holding. Had he really expected her to say otherwise? After a beat, he decided to play the game, and shrugged. "No idea."

Niobe nodded once, curtly, and left. As soon as the door shut, Hercules felt his legs start getting weak. He groaned, and put his head in his hands. "I am such an idiot."

"She's lying."

Hercules jumped and whirled to face the bed, where Arcas was fully awake and sitting up, staring at him. "Arcas! I thought you were asleep!"

"I was. But then I woke up." He shifted on the bed so he could see Hercules better. "That lady… she's lying." He sounded eerily calm.

"The queen?"

Arcas nodded. "Can we go camping now since I'm awake?"

Hercules was still focusing on what Arcas had said about Niobe. "Wait, wait, wait. Arcas… how do you know she's lying?"

His son started shifting uncomfortably. "Uh… I don't want to tell you. You'll get mad."

 _He read her_ , Hercules realized. "Arcas, what have I told you about listening to people's feelings when they don't know about it? Niobe doesn't know you can do that." _And if she did, she probably would never have come in here._

"I know, I'm sorry! But, when you guys were talking about Uncle Iolaus, she started feeling different. And it woke me up."

"So you pretended to sleep and listened to us instead?"

Arcas didn't answer that one at all. Instead, he laid back down and pulled the covers over his head.

"Arcas, there's no use in hiding. I can still see you."

"No, you can't," came the muffled reply. Hercules sighed and sat down on the bed, pulling the covers back again as he did so.

"Arcas, what you did was not polite."

Arcas sat back up again. "But she's lying! She shouldn't be lying about Meg!"

"But how do you know that she's lying, Arcas? Because she was thinking about Iolaus?"

"I just know! When you asked her about Meg's daddy, she… she…" He grew frustrated, and pounded his tiny fists on the bed. Hercules grabbed his hands.

"Just calm down. What did she feel like?"

Arcas took a few calming breaths, like they had practiced. "I don't know… not scared. But… kind of _like_ scared."

"Nervous?"

Arcas nodded enthusiastically. "She didn't want you asking about that."

"Arcas, that may be because I shouldn't have asked that at all, and she was upset about it."

But Arcas set his jaw in determination, and there was a look in his eyes that Hercules had never seen before. "No!" he said, emphatically, and punched the bed again. "No, Dad. She was lying. I know it."

Hercules had no response. Arcas had no reason to make something like that up. He didn't know all of the wild ideas Hercules had been coming up with regarding Meg's parentage, and even if he did, he didn't have the complexity of mind to create a story like that just to make Hercules feel better. And, unlike Niobe, Arcas had no reason to lie.

Arcas was still staring at him with that set expression, and Hercules could tell he was waiting for some kind of confirmation from his father. "Okay," he said, smoothing Arcas' hair back away from his forehead, "I believe you. But, there's nothing we can do about it right now, all right?"

"What are you going to do?" Arcas asked, lying back down. "And if King Orestes isn't Meg's dad, what does that mean?"

Hercules in no way wanted to have that conversation with his four-year old. "Nothing," he said. "It just means… someone else is."

"Who?"

"Arcas, no more questions tonight. It's time to go to sleep. You still want to go fishing and camping tomorrow, right?" Arcas nodded. "Okay, then time for bed."

* * *

It took another twenty minutes for Arcas to settle back down enough to go to sleep. Unable to quiet his mind after what had just occurred between him and Niobe and then Arcas, Hercules went over to the water basin and filled it. He splashed the cold water on his face and rubbed his eyes tiredly. _What am I going to do?_ He stared at his reflection in the glass over the water basin. He looked tired. And old. And most of all, ashamed that he had asked Niobe such a personal question. He was feeling defeated. Ever since Iolaus had left, he just hadn't seemed to be able to get his bearings. His life with Arcas was separate from his life as a hero, the life he had lead with Iolaus. He felt like he'd become two different people: Arcas' father, who adored his son and the life he had with him without question, and the brooding, possessive, angry demigod that he'd been when Iolaus had left… and when Iolaus had died in Sumeria. Hercules did not want to go back to the person he had been two years ago. But being here, with Jason and Iphicles and Niobe, talking about Iolaus, just made him feel wrong inside. It just wasn't the same anymore, and until Iolaus came back, it never would be.

Hercules came back over to the bed, watching Arcas sleep. He looked so peaceful. _I'm letting him down_ , Hercules thought. _I'm more concerned with Iolaus than I am with him_. He had thought he was passed all this.

He hated this feeling. He was lost, desperately clinging to Iolaus like he would a lifeline. It was almost worse than when Iolaus had died; at least then he knew he was really gone. Iolaus wasn't dead this time. He had just left, and Hercules had no idea where he was or if he was ever coming home.

He could never replace Iolaus with Arcas, and he didn't want to. That would be terrible. But he'd be lying to himself if he didn't realize he'd been avoiding dealing with his pain. He was throwing himself into being a father, which wouldn't have been a bad thing, except Hercules felt like part of him was doing it to take his mind off his friend, instead of doing it for the right reasons.

Basically insinuating that Meg was Iolaus' daughter and Niobe was a liar had been the last straw. He couldn't do this anymore. Iolaus was gone. He was here now, with Arcas. He was a father. It was time for him to accept everything that had happened, and move on. It felt like he was giving up.

 _You're not giving up on Iolaus_ , he told himself. _You don't give up. You're Hercules, remember?_ At that moment, he really didn't feel like being Hercules very much at all. _Even if Arcas is right, what you did was not okay. You need to apologize to Niobe, and forget about it._ But no matter how many times he told himself that, he knew he wouldn't be able to. It would gnaw at him for months, years… What if Iolaus came back? What was he supposed to say? Hey, I think you have a kid in Attica? Maybe you should go stop by and talk to Niobe?

What was it Iolaus had said? That Hercules treated him like a thing? That had metaphorically gutted him. But, looking at himself now, he had to admit that maybe there was some truth to what Iolaus had said. Iolaus wasn't his, and neither was Meg. Yet, here he was, trying to get Niobe to admit Meg was Iolaus' daughter, for what? So he could have some part in her life? So he could look at Meg and see Iolaus?

It was wrong. He was meddling, just like the gods he had spent his whole life trying to defeat. All the jibes and mumblings from Jason about his god side were finally starting to come to light for him. Hercules knew that Jason was half joking most of the time, but there was some truth to it. He hadn't felt this disgusted at that part of himself in a long time, not since he'd heard what they'd done to Xena. He almost wished he was a drinker, just so he could go drown himself in a local tavern. Almost.

He decided he needed to take a walk, so he quietly stepped outside and found a night watchman to keep an eye on the door to his and Arcas' room.

The palace halls were quiet. Hercules caught site of some servants here and there cleaning or taking washings back and forth, all of the behind the scenes duties that went unnoticed by the royals they served. Hercules walked distractedly, not really paying attention to where he was going and trying to think about nothing, but to no avail. He'd opened Pandora's Box, and eventually he was going to have to deal with it.

He really wished he had someone to talk to, and out of instinct, he thought of Iolaus. It made him angry. He had plenty of other people to talk to. He had Iphicles and Jason. Sadly, he'd never had that kind of relationship with his older half-brother. In fact, up until the last few years, he hadn't had a very good relationship with him at all. They'd had a strained relationship growing up, Iphicles not understanding why his younger brother was so special and resenting the amount of time Alcmene spent on him. Things were much better between them now. Hercules thought that had a lot to do with Jason. He'd been a good mentor for Iphicles, and they had spent a lot of time together after Iphicles had been crowned king.

Hercules could talk to Jason, of course. Aside from Iolaus, Jason was Hercules' oldest friend. Being a king had prevented Jason from having the life that Hercules and Iolaus had had on the road. But that was something that Jason had come to terms with at the Academy. It was his destiny to help people in his role as king, just as it was Hercules' to be a hero. It may have bothered Jason when they were younger, but not anymore. They were both proud to call each other friend. And the relationship he had with Jason was much different than the one he had with Iolaus. For one thing, Jason had married his mother. And for another, as much as Jason acted like the grumpy old man, he was soft and kind at heart, and he was always very good at giving advice. Hercules figured you had to be, when you were a king.

Not that Iolaus didn't give good advice. Most of the time though, he was more concerned with poking fun at Hercules than dispensing words of wisdom. But when he could tell his friend really needed it, there was no one better. Iolaus knew Hercules better than Hercules knew himself. It was what made all of this so hard. Iolaus really was the missing part of Hercules' soul.

Thinking of Iolaus made him feel down again, so he pushed the thoughts away, and headed outside into the garden.

The palace grounds were extensive, and Hercules walked until he came to the large stone surrounding wall and could go no further. He crazily thought about scaling it and continuing on into the woods, but he knew better. Arcas was still asleep inside. He couldn't go wandering off. Sighing, he turned and headed back again.

His feet took him back inside and, unwittingly, to the door of the room that Jason was staying in. Hercules hesitated. He really didn't want to wake him up. But, he also knew that if he didn't talk to someone about this, he was going to start acting like a crazy person. And Jason was, unfortunately, pretty used to that at this point.

He raised his hand to knock softly on the door, but before he could, it swung open. Hercules stepped back, startled.

Jason was standing in the opening, looking at him expectantly. He was wearing the light cotton shirt he wore under his tunic and loose cotton pants that Hercules assumed must be bed clothes. "You okay?"

"How did you-"

"I saw you wandering around out there," he explained, nodding to his window. Hercules could see it faced the gardens.

"Oh," was all Hercules said.

"You coming in or not?"

Hercules stepped through the door and Jason shut it behind him. "I'm sorry, I know it's late."

"Are you kidding? There was no way I was going to get a good night's sleep in this place. This whole thing's got me all fired up. It's why I got out of the king business. I should never have let Iphicles talk me into coming," Jason huffed, picking his discarded tunic off the chair and throwing it on the bed so Hercules could sit down.

"He appreciates your help, you know that, right?" Hercules told him, sinking down into it.

"Yeah, yeah. I know. But, he's got his own advisors."

"None of them are as good as you."

Jason barked a laugh. "Right. You didn't come here to flatter me. So, what's going on? Is this about earlier, when Niobe asked about the amulet?" He nodded at Hercules' chest, where it was still hanging.

"Not exactly… but, yes, being here with you and Iphicles without Iolaus, and talking about Iolaus…" Hercules trailed off.

Jason nodded. "It's strange, I know. I think this is the most you've really talked about him in a while."

Hercules couldn't argue with that. He sat in silence, staring out the window. "Your room is nice. Has a great view."

Jason furrowed his brow, but played along. "Yeah, it's great. They have nice tapestries, too. Not as good as the ones back in Corinth, because, you know… I'm not on any of them."

Hercules gave him a small smile. Jason decided to be patient, and wait for Hercules to gather his thoughts and say what he needed to say. After a few moments, the demigod finally turned his eyes back on him. "Can I run something by you?"

Jason shrugged. "Sure."

"It's going to sound insane."

"From you? Never," Jason deadpanned.

Hercules ignored it. "You and Iphicles… you guys have been talking to Niobe and Amphion for a while, right?"

"Past year or so, yeah. Why?"

"You both seemed surprised about Meg. And you didn't know about Orion and Ariana either. I mean, isn't there some kind of royal decree that goes out when kings and queens have kids?"

Jason shrugged. "For the first born, most of the time, yeah, but only to the neighboring kingdoms as a way to introduce the heir. People send tributes and gifts back…"

"Didn't Iphicles get one when Meg was born?"

"Doubtful. Corinth isn't a part of the Athenian provinces. And Niobe may have still been in mourning over Orestes' death, trying to get her kingdom together."

Hercules mulled that over. "Yeah, but… wouldn't she want to celebrate the fact that Orestes' line would continue? A kind of bright spot in a sad situation?"

Jason stared at him for a long moment, not answering. "What are you getting at, Hercules?" he asked, finally.

Saying it out loud to Jason just made him realize how ludicrous it all really did sound. "Remember when I told you Iolaus had to take Orestes' place again, when Xenon had him assassinated? He had to travel around for a few days, pretend to be the king. And, uh, pretend to be Niobe's husband?"

"Yes," Jason said, slowly. Hercules could tell he was starting to get worried. "But, you told me you didn't think anything had happened there."

Hercules cleared his throat. "Well, uh… that was before I saw Meg."

Jason's eyes doubled their normal size and he put his head in his hands. "Oh, gods. Don't do this to yourself, Hercules." He looked back up at the demigod. "Look, I admit, the timing is a little weird but…" He trailed off, seeing Hercules' expression, and narrowed his eyes. "What? What did you do?"

"What makes you think I did anything?" Hercules asked, trying to sound nonchalant.

"Because you have that look."

"What look?"

"The look that says 'I've done something really stupid and totally Hercules and now I feel really bad about it and don't know what to do'."

Hercules shifted in his seat, looking away and trying to keep his face neutral. "I don't have a look."

"What. Did. You. Do."

Hercules laughed uncomfortably. "I, uh, might have, uh… insinuated to Niobe that I, uh, didn't think Meg was really Orestes'." He avoided Jason's gaze and waited for the explosion. He wasn't disappointed.

Jason turned visibly green, and he got up from his chair to pace around the room. "Oh, my gods. _Oh, my gods!_ You didn't! Hercules! What the _hell_ is the matter with you?!"

Hercules sighed and ran his hands through his hair. "I know, I know. It was stupid. I never-"

"Hercules, do you have any idea what you've done?" Jason demanded, storming over to him. "We are in the middle of negotiations with this kingdom, and you, the brother of the King of Corinth, just asked the Queen of fucking Attica if she had an _illegitimate child_ with the _cousin_ of her _dead husband_! And then _lied_ about it to cover it up!"

Hercules' mouth suddenly went very dry. "Oh. I, uh, didn't really think about that part."

"He didn't think!" Jason muttered to himself. "Oh, he didn't think about that part! For the love of all creation, are you trying to kill me?"

Hercules scowled, getting angry despite the situation. "No, of course not!"

"You're doing a damned good job! I think I might actually be having a panic attack."

Hercules got up and put his hand on Jason's shoulder. "Jason, just sit down."

"I don't want to sit down. What I want is a stiff drink." He glared at Hercules. "And you! You need a stiff foot up your ass."

"Look, it was not my intention to ruin whatever was going on here. Besides, I thought Iphicles really didn't want to sign that peace plan thing anyway."

"That's not the point! The point is that you just can't keep your big, half god nose out of other people's business!" He shook his head, and started pacing again. "This whole thing with Iolaus has just got you all over the place. I thought you were done with this! And I don't care how much Meg looks like Iolaus… she's _not_ him. Oh, hell… This is the other Iolaus all over again, isn't it?" Jason stopped and jumped as he heard a loud cracking sound from behind him, and turned to see that Hercules had put his hand through the reflective glass on the opposite side of the room.

Jason stared at him, and then at the shards on the floor. Hercules shook his hand out, and more little pieces of glass fell down. "Well," Jason growled, "that's just great. Welcome to Attica. Please, enjoy your stay, and break our stuff, and accuse our queen of adultery."

"It's not adultery if Orestes was already dead," Hercules muttered. Jason threw him a look that would have melted him on the spot if Jason had been a god.

"Oh, shut up, Hercules. This has got to be one of the _stupidest_ things you have ever done."

Hercules tried in vain to lighten the mood. "Well, there was that time I took ambrosia…"

Jason held up his hand. "Don't," he ordered, and Hercules fell silent. This was not Jason, Hercules' friend. This was a Jason who was used to being obeyed. "Okay. We're going to find a way to fix this. I'll just tell her that you're crazy. It wouldn't exactly be a lie."

"Look, Jason, I'm sorry, okay! I got here, and Hector and Linus were just acting really strangely when they found out who I was. And Niobe… she was extremely nervous, especially when I was around Meg. I don't think she even really wanted Arcas playing with her until she was cornered into it when you all had to go back to your meetings."

Jason rolled his eyes. "Will you listen to yourself? You're just being paranoid!"

"I knew you were going to say that."

"Well, then you should have told the imaginary Jason in your head that he was right, and shut up about it."

"I tried, Jason," Hercules said, raising his voice. "Okay? I really did. But, even you had to admit, the timing was right. She's the right age. And she's _just_ like him."

The former king sputtered, gesturing wildly. "Orestes and Iolaus were identical. You know that. That's how he was even able to impersonate him!"

"I'm not just talking about looks, Jason. I spent more time with her today than you did. I watched her all day, with Arcas. She is _just like_ Iolaus. Her expressions, the way she says things, the way she purses her lips when she gets mad..." He recognized it instantly, when the attendant had come to take her back to the nursery. Iolaus had given him that same face thousands of times over the past thirty or more years.

"You know you're talking about a four year old, right?"

"Yes, I know that! I can't explain it, Jason. It was a gut feeling." Hercules noticed he was breathing heavy, and tried to calm down. "I'm not making this up."

Jason was giving him a pitying look, and the demigod knew what he was about to say before he said it. "Hercules… I think that you are still so devastated over Iolaus leaving that you would find any reason to find something of him in her. In anyone. Yes, the timing is right, but… she did have a husband, and it was their duty to create an heir. And, as coincidental as it may seem, she may have already been pregnant with Meg before Iolaus got there and Orestes died."

Hercules knew Jason had a point, but it was still wrong. And he really didn't want to tell Jason about what Arcas had said, because he knew how he'd react. But, it was the only card he had left. "Niobe came to see me this evening, to ask about Iolaus. That was how I was able to ask her about Meg when no one was around." He hesitated, but then continued, "Arcas said… Arcas was pretending to be asleep, and when I asked her about Meg, he said he could tell she was lying."

Jason gaped at him, open mouthed. "Arcas? _Arcas_ said? You're basing this on something your four year old son told you? Oh, Hercules…"

"Don't patronize him," Hercules snapped. "You know what he can do. He's done it to you."

Jason didn't have a response for that. He ran his hand over his face tiredly and, moaning, collapsed onto the chair that Hercules had vacated. "This is not good. This is _so_ not good."

"Yeah," Hercules agreed, sitting down as well. "What are we going to do?"

" _We_?" Jason asked, incredulously. " _We_ are not doing anything. _You_ are going fishing with your son tomorrow, so that Iphicles and I can try to clean up the mess you made. And I'm not talking about the mirror. Oh, crap. Iphicles… I wonder if I can get around telling him."

Hercules stared, dumbfounded. "So, we're just going to ignore the fact that Meg is Iolaus' daughter?"

Jason fixed him with a harsh look. "I'm not entirely convinced that she is, no matter what Arcas _thinks_ he felt."

"Jason!"

"And even if she is, what are you going to do about it, Hercules? I mean, really? What are you going to do? You're not her father. You're not even some kind of distant relative. You and Iolaus say you're brothers, but you're _not._ You're friends. And I know how you get when it comes to Iolaus, and I know you think you're… looking out for him or protecting him by getting involved in this, but you're not. He has no idea! You can't protect him from something he has no knowledge of."

"That's the point, Jason. It's not right. She should have told him."

"Are you insane? And how well do you think _that_ would have gone over, huh? And what about the peace plan? She would have had to admit to all the adjoining kingdoms that a fake Orestes negotiated the thing and signed the document!" He shook his head. "No, Hercules. This is more complicated than her hiding it from Iolaus. She's a queen, with a duty to protect her kingdom. Like it or not, she did what she thought was best."

"And you agree with her?" Hercules demanded.

"I didn't say that. But, you've never had to rule a kingdom, Hercules. It's a little different than saving the world. It may actually be harder."

Hercules didn't dignify that with a response. It was easier for him to be angry with Niobe than to feel sorry for her. _I'm sure she was really torn up about it. She probably cried over Iolaus into her big piles of dinars._ He snorted derisively.

"I know how you are, Hercules," Jason continued, "but this is one you're just going to have to walk away from."

"How? How am I supposed to do that, knowing who she is?"

"Like I said earlier, Meg is not your daughter, she's not Iolaus, and she's not your responsibility. It's out of our hands." Jason looked over at him sternly. "I'm not kidding, Hercules. I've put up with a lot from you over the years, but this I will absolutely not tolerate."

Hercules really wanted to argue, to press the matter, to brow beat Jason into agreeing with him, but he knew it wouldn't work.

"And it would be a really good idea for you to take Arcas and get out of here for a while tomorrow, while I try to smooth things over. Please," Jason added, seeing Hercules' frown.

"I just can't believe that you don't care."

"Of course I care! It kills me if it's true, and she would never know Iolaus, or us. But, we _can't interfere_. Isn't that always your mantra? Because you've been acting an awful lot like the gods that you claim to hate so much."

Hercules wanted to be angry at that, but he had admitted as much to himself earlier, so he just settled for making a "humph" noise and walking over to where he had shattered the glass. "You shouldn't have said that. About the other Iolaus."

Jason sighed and got up, coming over to stand beside him and put a hand on his shoulder. "I know. And… I'm sorry. I guess we both drive each other a little crazy, don't we?"

"Something like that."

"So," Jason continued, "what are we going to tell them about that, then?" He indicated the shards on the floor and then up at the broken mirror.

Hercules put his hands on his hips, studying it. "Huh. Good question." He looked around the room, and then at the open window. "Maybe… a bird did it?"

Jason looked at him as if he said he was going to marry Ares and run off to Olympus. "Don't be ridiculous. Is that really the best you can come up with?"

"I'm tired," Hercules muttered, "and what, you have a better idea? What are you going to say, that we got into a fight and I put my arm through it?"

"It's better than, 'Oh, a bird did it'."

* * *

"A bird did it."

The next morning, Jason, Amphion, and Iphicles were surveying the ruined glass and the shards that Jason had swept into a pile on the floor.

Iphicles was tapping his foot impatiently, and kept throwing Jason dark looks, which he ignored. Amphion just walked around the pile and then to the open window in mild curiosity.

"My fault, really," Jason continued, "I left the window open all night."

Amphion turned back to him. "Well, where is it now?"

"Where's what?"

Amphion looked around the room. "The bird."

 _Damn_ , Jason thought. "It, uh… flew away again." He could feel Iphicles staring holes into the back of his head.

The king was looking at him dubiously, so Jason spread his arms, and elaborated, "It was a really big bird." _You have really fallen far, Jason._

"Hmmm." Amphion scratched his beard, thoughtfully. "Damn animals. They really are becoming quite a nuisance. I'll have to speak to the groundskeeper about that menagerie of his."

Jason nodded, enthusiastically. "Good idea, Your Highness." _Huh. He's a lot dumber than I thought. Works for me._

* * *

 **Then – Jason**

Niobe obviously hadn't informed her husband of her and Hercules' late night chat, because Jason had a feeling if she had, they'd all be packing up and hitting the road by now. He wasn't sure if he should tell Iphicles about Hercules' theory. In fact, Hercules had expressly told him not to before he and Arcas had left early that morning to spend the day fishing.

"Don't tell him, Jason. I already feel bad enough about Amphion asking me to tell stories and for getting annoyed with him last night when he kept going on about Iolaus," Hercules had said while he packed his and Arcas' things.

But, unlike Amphion, Iphicles wasn't dumb as a rock, and as soon as the Attican king was no longer in earshot, Iphicles whirled on his stepfather. "Want to tell me what actually happened? Why are you breaking our host's things?"

"It wasn't me. It was Hercules," Jason whispered to him.

Iphicles' eyebrow twitched, a sign that he was losing his patience. "Okay... Why is my brother breaking our host's things?"

"We got into sort of a heated discussion last night. I said something I shouldn't have." Iphicles kept staring. "About Iolaus. Well, about the other Iolaus."

Iphicles seemed unimpressed. "So, he broke the mirror?"

"You know how Hercules gets about him. I told you about what he did after Iolaus died, right?" Jason had had to ask Hercules about it several times and collect stories from numerous sources before he got the whole picture of how far gone Hercules had really gotten a few years ago.

"Which time? When he threatened Hades or when he tried to kill himself?"

Jason paused. _Huh. Good point._ "Both."

Iphicles rolled his eyes and started storming down the hallway. "Yeah, well… you know him better than I do."

"Well, whose fault's that? No," he held his hands up when Iphicles turned back around, "you know what? I'm not having that conversation."

The rest of the morning was filled with more talk, more negotiating, and more of Jason holding his fake smile in place when really all he wanted to do was take Amphion's crown of his head and smack him around with it. _He's pretty full of himself for a former lord,_ Jason thought to himself. _Getting chosen to marry a queen must have gone to his head. Or, he's just an asshole._ Jason decided on the latter.

Niobe had greeted them warmly enough, but when Amphion asked where Hercules was that morning, she immediately averted her gaze. This did not go unnoticed by either Jason or Iphicles.

"He took his son fishing," Jason explained, trying to keep his face neutral. "Arcas has been begging to learn how to fish and go camping for a while now."

Amphion had said something about it being a pity, but Jason wasn't paying attention. Niobe noticed Jason studying her and gave him an icy look. _Oookay. So, she probably figured out Hercules said something to me. Nice job, Jason._

They broke for lunch, and Jason attempted to follow Niobe without being too obvious, but she was constantly surrounded by guards or servants. Jason was beginning to wonder if he should attempt to smooth things over at all, since obviously Niobe wasn't going to draw attention to the fact that Hercules thought Meg was Iolaus' daughter and not her first husband's. But, there was the old saying about how the man may be the head of the family, but the woman was the neck. And the neck could turn the head any way she wanted.

No. Jason couldn't give a damn about this whole business, but having a good relationship with Attica was important to Iphicles, whether they signed the peace plan or not. Niobe could convince her husband to end negotiations, and cut off trade with Corinth completely if she wanted to. Jason didn't figure her to be that petty, but it really wasn't worth the risk.

So, he waited for his opening, and gritted his teeth and nodded politely at all the appropriate times. His face was going to hurt by the time this was over. Finally, as Amphion was finally backing down and agreeing to give Corinth some concessions and take out some of the wording that Iphicles didn't like, his moment came when a servant girl tried to quietly and unobtrusively come into the room and speak to Niobe. She whispered something in her ear and then quietly walked back out of the room.

Niobe tried to keep her face blank, but Jason could see that she looked strained as she excused herself and followed the girl out into the hall. Jason waited a beat, pretending to be engrossed in whatever Iphicles and Amphion were discussing, and then excused himself as well, getting up out of his chair. Iphicles threw him a sideways glance but Jason shook his head, and made his way out the door.

By the time Jason had gotten to the hallway and shut the door, Niobe and the servant were gone. He figured it would probably not be a good idea to go wandering around the palace aimlessly, so he leaned against the far wall and decided to wait. About twenty minutes later, he caught site of Niobe coming back around the corner, and he quickly walked over to meet her. "Anything I can help with?" he asked, casually. She stopped, catching sight of him and looking resigned.

"Oh, it was nothing. Just a, uh…" She shook her head, and gave him a small smile. "Just a Meg problem."

"Ah. Escaping again?"

"No… this time it was not wanting to behave during her studies," Niobe sighed, and straightened the front of her gown.

Jason chuckled. "I was the same way when I was her age. Who wants to sit still and learn about history and royal etiquette when you could be running amok through the halls?"

This actually seemed to make Niobe feel a little better. "Thank you, Jason. Sometimes, I just feel like I'm at my wits end with her."

Jason noticed that, thankfully, they were alone. Niobe seemed to realize this as well, so before she could find some reason to head back into the meeting hall, Jason said, "I wanted to apologize on behalf of my exceedingly stupid stepson."

This was obviously not what Niobe had been expecting. "You don't need to do that."

"Yes, I do. Iolaus leaving… it's been hard on him. And, as you can probably tell, it's a bit of a sore spot. But, he shouldn't have said what he said. It's not an excuse."

Niobe was quiet for a long time. She seemed to be gathering her courage, and Jason thought that her eyes suddenly looked very sad. "You don't need to apologize, Jason, because… he was right."

Jason wasn't quite sure he had heard correctly. "He was right…?"

Glancing around to make sure they were alone, she turned to him and said, very quietly, "Meg's not Orestes'." Niobe's eyes shone with unshed tears, but she also looked relieved, as if telling someone, other than Hector and Linus, was a burden that she had finally been released from.

Jason was speechless. He knew he should probably say something, but no words came to mind.

"I can tell you," Niobe said, "because you'll understand. You were a king. Things are different for us."

On that, Jason agreed. He nodded. "Yes."

"People like us, we have a duty. It would have been different, if it was Orestes who had…" she trailed off, and shook her head. "But, I'm the queen by marriage. What would they have thought of me?"

Jason didn't have a good answer for that, so he said nothing.

"I had to protect my kingdom," she went on. "The people… they love me. When Orestes and I married, it was a dream come true for them. All I care about is Attica, and what's best for them."

"I believe you," Jason said, and he meant it. "And, we do have a duty to our people. But, we also have a duty to ourselves." He let that sink in, and then asked, "And Amphion…?"

"He believes the same as everyone else, besides Hector and Linus, and now you and Hercules."

"You told Hector and Linus?"

Niobe shook her head. "Hector's not a fool. He knew. And frankly, they are more than just my guards. They're friends. I could trust them. And they both knew Iolaus." She looked down at the floor, as if there was something of great interest on her shoes. "He really did leave, then?"

Jason sighed, crossing his arms. "Yeah. Hercules isn't too happy about it. He, uh, can get a little crazy when it comes to Iolaus, and again, I'm sorry for the way he approached the situation."

Niobe caught his gaze. "Did they have some sort of falling out?"

The former king snorted. "No. That probably would have been easier." He shook his head ruefully and stared down the hall. "No, Iolaus… him dying this last time and that thing with Dahak, and then being dead for so long and coming back… it did something to him. He wasn't right anymore, he wasn't himself. I think he tried to be, for Hercules. But, like I said, we have a duty to ourselves. And, he had to do what he thought was best for him. That meant leaving. Hercules didn't handle it well. He didn't handle it at all, actually. And well… seeing Meg… I think it brought it all back." He took a look around the empty hallways. "This may not be the best place to be having this conversation."

Niobe nodded in agreement. "To be honest, it wasn't a conversation I was planning on having at all. Hercules is quite perceptive."

 _That's one way of putting it_ , Jason thought but to Niobe he just shrugged, and told her, "It's a demigod thing."

"And Arcas? Does he have Hercules' abilities?"

"No. He…" but Jason trailed off, realizing that perhaps letting the Queen in on what Arcas was capable of might not be the best idea. At least, for the moment. "He's more human than god. But, he does have Hercules'… perceptiveness, I guess. He's sensitive, for a young boy. He doesn't have many friends."

"That's very sad. And you? You're headmaster of a school now?"

"Yes. Cheiron's old academy, where Hercules, Iolaus, and I studied."

"I see it's taught you some patience," she said, a smile crinkling her eyes. Jason laughed as well.

"It has at that. I was never one for these sorts of dealings. I always preferred to be more hands on." He and Niobe started walking back to the meeting hall. "But, it sounds like we may be done. Amphion has agreed to some of Iphicles' demands, and I think that will help him come to a decision quicker that will be mutually beneficial for both of us."

"Anxious to leave us, Jason?" Niobe asked, but the former king could tell she was kidding.

"Never. But, I would be lying if I said I wasn't jealous of all the fish Hercules and Arcas are going to be catching."

"Hercules is an excellent fisherman, I take it?"

Jason suppressed a smile, thinking of the last time the two of them had fished together. "He has a… unique way of going about it."

Before they reached the doors, Niobe put a hand on Jason's shoulder. "Jason, I obviously need your word that you will remain silent on what we discussed."

Jason paused. "You know I would never do anything to jeopardize you or Meg."

"No, I know you would never be so malicious as to tell Amphion. I meant Hercules."

Jason's brow furrowed. "But, he already knows."

"He _thinks_ he knows," Niobe corrected. Jason started to answer, but Niobe put her hand up. "This includes Iolaus as well, if you're in contact with him."

"That's… putting me in a very awkward position." He didn't tell her that Iolaus had left explicit instructions not to be contacted. "I can't tell you what to do, obviously. And, frankly, when it comes to relationships and kids, I'm the last person that should be giving advice. But, Hercules knows Iolaus better than anyone, and he could be a very good friend to have around."

"Meg needs to believe she's Orestes' daughter. I want her to rule Attica, Jason."

Before Jason had a chance to respond one way or the other, the doors flew open, making both him and Niobe take a step backward. Iphicles and Amphion both exited, the latter with his arm around Iphicles. They seemed to be in good spirits. "Come," Amphion was saying, "we shall have a drink and celebrate. Ah, there you two are!"

Niobe and Jason exchanged glances. "I take it the two of you came to a decision, my love?" Niobe asked Amphion as he came around to stand beside her.

"We did indeed! Our alliance with Corinth has been solidified."

Iphicles' smile was a little more strained than Amphion's, but he nodded in agreement. "It was a good day. Jason, if you'll walk with me?"

"We will still celebrate later!" Amphion called after them. "Don't think I've forgotten."

"When my brother returns, King Amphion," Iphicles told him, and then grabbed Jason's elbow and lead him around the corner. "What the hell?" he hissed. "You just took off!"

"Sorry, I had to… deal with something," Jason explained, lamely.

"And what, may I ask, was so important?"

Jason tried to change the subject. "It doesn't matter. So, I guess you signed it after all, then? Amphion seems pretty damned pleased with himself."

"We agreed on a modified version, yes, but nothing's been signed. He finally agreed to my concessions. And I also secured some new trade contingencies as well. If you agree, we'll sign tomorrow morning and then head back to Corinth."

Jason nodded, impressed. "I'll have to look it over. But, as long as Corinth's not committed to send any of our men if they decide to go to war…"

"We agreed on more of a monetary sort of aid rather than sending our own men, yes."

"Good. I'm not about to have our boys dying if he pisses someone off." Iphicles was still staring at him. "What?"

"Are you going to tell me why you and Queen Niobe disappeared? Or does this have something to do with my brother and whatever happened with you two last night?" Iphicles asked with a knowing look.

Jason snapped his fingers. "Speaking of Hercules, I should go find him. He'll be happy to hear we'll be leaving tomorrow." He started to turn around, but Iphicles strong armed him.

"Jason, what's going on?"

Jason felt terrible about keeping Iphicles in the dark, but he didn't need to know the specifics. And, while he hadn't been able to give his word to Niobe before Iphicles dragged him off, he knew that it was an unspoken agreement between him and the Queen. "Look, I can't go into details right now. All you need to know is that I took care of it." When Iphicles didn't budge, he added, "Hercules did something stupid and I'm cleaning it up."

"Fine," Iphicles sighed, and finally released his arm.

"So, this means I can go fishing now, too, right?" Jason asked, hopefully. Iphicles just gave him a dirty look and continued down the hall. "I guess that's a no."

* * *

 **Now**

Arcas mainly chewed his food in silence and just watched his father and Iolaus interact. He had heard every story possible about Iolaus growing up, from both his father and Jason. It was a strange sensation, seeing the two of them together. He knew that deep down, his father had just accepted that he might never see Iolaus again. It was nice, to see him so happy for a change.

After the initial shock and joy had worn off the two men, they mostly sat in silence as well, as if unsure of what to say. After all the stories, Arcas was expecting someone with a ravenous appetite who wouldn't shut up, so he was surprised when Iolaus politely declined some of the food, claiming he had already eaten some of what he had picked up in Corinth. From the way Hercules' eyebrows had gone up, his father was surprised as well.

Hercules, for his part, hadn't touched his food. He just kept staring at Iolaus from across the table. Arcas frowned, and glanced back and forth between the two of them. "Would you quit staring at him like that?" he asked, nudging his father with his elbow. "You're weirding me out."

"Hmmm?" Hercules asked, then saw the look that Arcas was giving him. Blushing, he cleared his throat. "Right… sorry. When did you get back?"

"Just today. This morning, actually," Iolaus explained, and then rubbed the back of his neck, embarrassed. "I was, uh, wandering around for a while trying to decide if I should come find you."

Hercules nodded. "Oh."

Iolaus paused, and then realized that Hercules must have misunderstood. "No, no, I meant… I didn't know where you were."

"No one in town told you I was here?" Hercules asked, surprised.

"Well, they did. Sort of. That's what had me confused. I thought I was going to have to hunt you down or something. I didn't expect you to have… settled down again." He stopped, thinking. "You know what was weird? They kept saying you were either here, or in Attica."

Hercules and Arcas exchanged quick glances. "Attica, huh?" the demigod repeated.

"Yeah… and I thought, I don't even think Hercules has _been_ to Attica. Well, I'm sure you have at some point by now." He saw the look Arcas was giving Hercules and frowned. "What?"

"Nothing," Hercules said, and finally started grabbing some of the olives, cheese, and duck that Arcas had laid out on the table. "I like what you've done with your hair."

Iolaus snorted wryly and ran a hand through it. "Yeah, I guess I thought I needed a change."

Hercules was tempted to say, "You could have gotten a hair cut in Greece" but he let it slide. "It suits you. Really," he said at Iolaus' dubious look, "I'm being serious. It goes with all your new… additions." At Iolaus' confused look, Hercules pointed at the markings on his chest and hands. Iolaus blinked down at them and barked a laugh, as if he had forgotten they were there.

"Oh, yeah. Don't worry, it's a dye."

"When did that happen?" Hercules asked while Arcas leaned over the table to get a better look. It was mostly intricate swirls and floral patterns but there was also some kind of writing that Arcas couldn't decipher.

"In India," Iolaus explained, glancing down at his knuckles again. "It's called mehndi. They use it for all kinds of things, but mostly for protection. I got it done before I left. Well… redone. Like I said, it's a dye, and they paint it on. It's actually pretty interesting."

"Huh," Hercules said, thoughtfully. "It's definitely different."

Iolaus wasn't sure how to respond to that, so he took a sip of water and looked around the kitchen as another awkward silence followed. "Is this new?" he asked, indicating the table.

 _Gods, this is painful_ , Arcas thought. "Yeah, we had to get a bigger one. What with me and Dad, and Jason, and Meg…"

Hercules' eyes widened, and he choked on the olive he had just tossed into his mouth. Iolaus' brow furrowed in concern. "You okay?" he asked, looking him over.

Hercules nodded as Arcas pounded him on the back. "Yep…" He coughed again, giving his son a withering look. Arcas, for his part, shrugged innocently and went back to his food.

"Who's Meg?" Iolaus asked, looking back and forth between them.

"A friend from school," Hercules said before Arcas could respond.

Iolaus raised an eyebrow. "Just a friend? Not, you know… girlfriend?"

Now it was Arcas' turn to choke, and he sputtered and gasped on his water as Hercules ducked his head to try and hide a smile. "No," Arcas stated, wiping his mouth, "no, no, no, no. Gods no. _Hell_ no."

"So… that's a no."

Arcas threw both Iolaus and Hercules disparaging glares before returning to his dinner. "Is this how it's going to be now that he's back? Because, if so, I think I may stop coming to visit."

Hercules rolled his eyes, ignoring him, and explained to Iolaus, "She and Arcas both went to the Academy."

"Really? That's great! Following in Hercules' footsteps?"

Arcas laughed. "Something like that."

"I think it's fantastic! Herc and I have a lot of good memories from that place."

"Oh, I know. And I've heard them all."

Iolaus wasn't sure if Arcas sounded annoyed or not, but he could tell that Hercules was getting frustrated with his son. He kept glancing over at Arcas out of the corner of his eye. "Speaking of the Academy, how's Jason?" Iolaus asked, trying to regain Hercules' attention.

Hercules slowly looked away from Arcas, but he still looked bothered. "He's doing well. He stays up there most of the time now. It was just getting to be too much for him to keep travelling back and forth. He'll be happy to see you."

"We're heading up there tomorrow, actually," Arcas interjected, and before Hercules could stop him, continued, "You should come."

Iolaus shrugged. "Sure. Sounds good to me."

The room got quiet again, and Iolaus took the time to study the two of them. There was a resemblance, that was for sure. And he could tell from the way they interacted, they had a good humored relationship. He was happy for Hercules, but… there was suddenly a deep regret in Iolaus that he hadn't been able to see Arcas grow up. He tried to shake it off.

"So… how did this happen?" he asked. Hercules and Arcas glanced up, confused. Iolaus gestured back and forth. "You… having a son…?"

Arcas slowly put his fork down. "Well, you see, Iolaus… when two people love each other-"

"Very funny," Iolaus said, and tossed an olive pit at him. "What I meant was… _when_ , I guess?"

Hercules was silent for a moment, and tapped his finger absent mindedly on the table. "Arcas… can Iolaus and I have some time to talk?" When Arcas didn't reply, he added, "Alone?"

To both of their surprise, Arcas started laughing, and looked back and forth between them as if they were missing out on the joke. "No," he said, chuckling, and added some more duck to his plate. "No way am I missing all this."

Hercules turned a wide-eyed stare on Iolaus, who shrugged as if to say, _What do you want me to do about it?_ The demigod frowned and said, very firmly, "Arcas. Now."

Father and son stared at each other, neither willing to back down. But after a beat, Arcas sighed dramatically and grabbed his plate, getting up. "Fine. I'll be upstairs." He held out his hand to Iolaus, who grasped it. "It was nice to finally be able to meet you, Iolaus."

"I was glad to meet you, too," Iolaus said back.

"Just don't start thinking you can kick me to the kiddie table whenever you feel like it," Arcas warned, and trudged down the hall and up some wooden stairs that Iolaus knew had not been there before he had left.

"I _can_ do whatever I feel like, I'm your father," Hercules called after him and then shook his head, ruefully. "Sorry about that."

Iolaus just chuckled. "Don't apologize. This is great!"

"What's great?"

Iolaus gestured wildly around the room. "This… you… him… Hercules, I'm just so happy for you. I really am. He's great."

Hercules smiled to himself. "Yeah, he's something all right."

"How old is he?"

"Twenty-three now. Wow… I feel old."

Iolaus snorted. "You are old."

"Hey!" Hercules said in mock insult. "Might I remind you that you're two years older than me?"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah… so what's that about?" Iolaus nodded towards the hallway. "Upstairs..?"

"Well… I had to add onto the house, as you can see. Jason let us stay here and I didn't think it was right that he should have to deal with a growing boy so…" Hercules shrugged. "Anyway, I added another wing and then Arcas really wanted his own space as he got older, so we build the loft."

Iolaus was impressed. "Wow. Yeah, it sure looks different. Looks good, though."

"I just kept thinking mother would have been happy I was adding all these rooms, because they were for her grandson."

Iolaus smiled, remembering. "Alcmene always did wanted you to have another family. She was a great woman."

Hercules casually dropped in, "She always wanted you to have another family, too."

Iolaus just grunted. "Well… some things just don't work out." He cleared his throat. "So, spill."

Hercules looked at him quizzically. "What?"

"Come on, Hercules." He pointed at the ceiling, indicating the loft where Arcas was. "When did this happen? And more importantly, who did it happen with?" Iolaus asked, wiggling his eyebrows at him.

Hercules tried to keep himself from blushing. "Well," he began, running a hand through his hair, "remember when I got amnesia? And Hera tried to get me to pledge my loyalty to her?"

Iolaus frowned in concentration. "You mean in Kastus?"

"Yeah. And you were purple," he added, prompting a look of deep annoyance from Iolaus. They also could hear boisterous laughter coming from upstairs.

Iolaus shot the demigod a look of mock betrayal. "You told him that?"

"Come on, I had to. And then, everyone kept asking you why you were purple," Hercules laughed, sitting back in his chair. "Iolaus, come _on_ , it was funny!"

Iolaus just rolled his eyes. "Anyway… so Kastus. Wait… Kirin? Like, _Queen_ Kirin?" At Hercules' nod, he shook his head in astonishment. "But, you said that was only for one night." Hercules cleared his throat uncomfortably, and Iolaus' face broke into a wide grin. "Wow," he said, appreciatively. "Good for you, Herc."

"Iolaus-"

"No, no… I mean, I guess that's just one of those perks of being a half god."

"Okay, that's enough," the demigod said quickly, blushing furiously. "Very cute, Iolaus."

"Hey, I'm just making an observation."

"Uh, huh."

"Oh, my gods, look at you! You still get so embarrassed!" The blond burst out laughing as Hercules pressed his lips together and looked at the floor. "Can you even say the word sex?"

Hercules threw his napkin at him. "Don't start with me." But, he was laughing, too. For a moment, it felt like nothing had changed, and not a day had gone by. Without realizing he was going to say it, Hercules blurted, "I've missed you." Iolaus slowly stopped laughing and gazed at Hercules across the table. "Gods, Iolaus, I have missed you so much. And I am so glad you're back. I just… can't believe you're here. It's crazy. I…" He shook his head, unable to continue.

Finally, Iolaus gave Hercules a small smile. "I know. And… I've missed you, too. It was, uh…" He coughed, trying to hide his emotion. "It was hard."

Hercules suddenly felt his hand clenching involuntarily, and he concentrated hard on relaxing. "Yeah," he agreed, "a lot has happened. And, a lot has changed." He indicated Iolaus. "You, for starters… cut your hair, got some tattoos…You haven't got a piercing somewhere I can't see, too, have you?"

Iolaus winked. "If you're good, I'll let you see later." He laughed at Hercules' shocked look. "Herc, I'm kidding."

"Oh. Good." He sounded more than a little relieved.

"So, what happened? Why did Arcas have to come stay with you?" Hercules got very quiet, and Iolaus realized that he must have said the wrong thing. He waved dismissively, and went back to eating. "You know what? Forget it."

"No, it's okay. Kirin, uh… she got sick. Or, at least, that's what they told me. She was a commoner before she married Millius and well… Arcas has no real royal blood. Kirin was worried about him staying in Kastus after she died, so she sent him to me. His half-brother, Protos, is king now."

Iolaus nodded, remembering some of the people they had had to deal with there. "I'm so sorry." And he meant it. Hercules' life had been full of enough tragedy.

"It was hardest on Arcas, obviously. He was so young… he says he doesn't remember, but… I don't know." Hercules suddenly clapped his hands together and rubbed them briskly. "Enough about that. I want to hear about your, uh… trip."

Iolaus waved him off, and Hercules thought he looked uncomfortable. "Nah, it's boring."

"No, Iolaus, I really want to hear about it. It must have been amazing, for you to have stayed for so long." He took a sip of water and noticed that Iolaus looked like he was trying not to let that last comment bother him. Hercules raised his eyebrows at him expectantly. "The East… India… What was it like?"

Iolaus' eyes became unfocused, remembering. "Incredible," he breathed. "Beautiful. It's hard to explain. It was very different."

"Well," Hercules prompted, "what did you learn?"

"A lot. So many things… I, uh, don't even know where to begin."

"Well," Arcas' voice interrupted suddenly, making both men jump, "you can start by explaining why the hell you've been gone for two decades." He was leaning against the opening to the hall that lead back into the kitchen, his arms crossed, an unreadable expression on his face.

Hercules' head whipped around so fast Iolaus was concerned his friend had given himself whiplash. "Arcas!" The demigod wasn't sure if he should be angry or embarrassed or both.

Iolaus, for his part, just sat in his seat and put his hands in his lap. "It's okay, Hercules," he said, calmly.

"No," Hercules said through clenched teeth, "it's not." He was glaring at his son murderously.

"He's your son," Iolaus argued. "He's just doing his job."

"He seems to think his job is to protect me," Hercules said, still glaring.

"Hmmm," Iolaus said with a long-suffering air, "I wonder what that must feel like."

Hercules instead turned his glare on Iolaus. "Very funny. That's all I need, the two of you ganging up on me."

"Oh, yeah, laugh it up. It's all so funny. Yay, Iolaus is back!" Arcas pushed off the wall and stalked back over to the table. "Are you kidding me? What's next? Are we going to hold hands and skip around the garden? Sing Kumbaya? Put daisies in our hair?"

"That's enough," Hercules warned him.

"No, Dad, this is bull shit!"

"Hey, watch it!"

Arcas ignored him. "I was listening to you guys upstairs, and this is ridiculous. Look," he turned on Iolaus, "I'm really glad you're back. I am. But you have _no_ idea what it's been like for him-"

"Arcas!" Hercules said, sharply, making his son turn and face him. "I said, that's enough."

"He has every right to be angry," Iolaus interrupted. He looked at Hercules pointedly. "And so do you."

Hercules didn't say anything for a long moment, but he also didn't break Iolaus' gaze. Arcas shook his head in disgust. "Dad… you need to tell him."

"Go back upstairs," Hercules demanded, not looking at him.

"No, I'm not going to go back upstairs. He needs to know."

Iolaus' brow furrowed, and he glanced back and forth between the two men in confusion. "Wait. I need to know what?"

"Arcas, now is not the time to have this conversation."

Arcas' nostrils flared, and he put his hands on his hips, refusing to back down. "Do it, or I will."

Iolaus recognized that tone of voice immediately, because he'd heard it hundreds of times before from Hercules. It was the same tone the demigod used on particularly thick-headed warlords who were just not getting that what they were doing was wrong and they should stop before Hercules beat them up and tossed them around in front of all their little warlord friends.

Iolaus wasn't entirely sure they were still talking about Hercules being angry with him either. There was something else going on. _Maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all…_ Hercules was right, and lot had changed. They had both changed. And he would be delusional if he thought that being away for so long hadn't done some damage to his and Hercules' relationship. He sighed in resignation and stood up.

"Look, Hercules… your son is right. I shouldn't have just come here thinking everything was going to be fine-"

"Iolaus, _sit down_!" Hercules yelled, making Iolaus jump and stare at him in surprise. After a beat, he slowly and silently sank back down into the chair. "Thank you. Arcas, a word." Hercules stood up and grabbed his son's arm, practically dragging him back down the hall, leaving Iolaus alone.

"What the hell is your problem?" he hissed once they were out of earshot. "This is not like you at all."

"I can't help it, okay?" Arcas told him, eyes flashing. "I can tell that _you_ are barely holding it together. And him…" He shook his head, baffled. "I can't get anything from him."

"What do you mean? And quit listening in on our conversation."

"I mean… he's blank, Dad. Either that, or he is really, really good at blocking out his emotions from people like me. Like, he's used to someone trying to get in his head."

Hercules blinked in confusion. "Arcas, he was possessed by _Dahak_. Yeah, I'm sure he got pretty good at keeping things out of his head. It's how he fought the thing for so long. And that's not an excuse for your behavior."

Arcas wasn't listening. "It's like he's not there. It's freaking me out. And you," he added, poking his father in the chest, "need to tell him the truth. And I'm not just talking about how him being away for so long has made you feel."

Hercules pressed his lips together. "I'm… waiting for an opportune time."

Arcas wasn't buying it. "Dad, you can't do your typical 'let me put the bad news off as long as possible' routine. I know this is going to suck. It's going to suck _a lot_. But, he needs to know. We're going to the Academy tomorrow-"

"Yeah, thanks for that, by the way. I was not planning on having Iolaus along."

Arcas shrugged dismissively, ignoring his father's tone. "Hey, I'm here to help."

Hercules was not amused. He took a breath and looked away, staring down the hall. "Arcas… this isn't just about Iolaus. What is she going to say when we stroll up there tomorrow, huh?" He turned back and looked at Arcas expectantly. "Well?"

Arcas' gaze didn't falter. "The difference, Dad, is that she knows about him. He doesn't know about her. Meg will get over it." He nodded out to the kitchen. "What about him?"


	5. Chapter Five

**Chapter Five**

 **Then – Hercules**

Hercules had decided about three hours into the fishing and camping trip that maybe four was a little too young to go on this sort of excursion. Or, that maybe, he was just getting too old.

At first, all Arcas had wanted to do was talk about what had happened the night before, but Hercules wouldn't allow it. "That's not your business," he said. "Why don't you tell me what you and Meg did instead?"

That got him going for a while, and Hercules half listened as they veered off the path and wound their way around the nearby forest, looking for a good place by a river or stream to set up camp and get to fishing. They trudged along, Hercules lifting and moving lower branches out of the way for Arcas as they went, while Arcas rambled on excitedly about the previous day's events.

"And _then_ ," he was saying, breathlessly, as he ducked under another low hanging branch, "Meg wanted to see if babies could fly, but I told her that it wasn't a good idea to try and put Orion out the window."

Hercules, still only half listening, did a double take and stopped in his tracks. "Wait, what?"

Arcas kept walking. "Oh, don't worry," he said, flippantly, "I told Moira what she wanted to do, and then she got in trouble and was mad at me for a while."

Hercules just shook his head and decided he didn't want to know after all.

The rest of the day was an extreme test of the limit of Hercules' patience and the shortness of his fuse. Arcas was distracted most of the time and didn't want to sit still long enough once Hercules had demonstrated what Iolaus had called "real fishing" to actually catch anything. Hercules resigned himself to the fact that he was probably just going to be tired and hungry for the rest of the day. _And wet_ , he added, silently, as thunder rumbled in the distance. Arcas groaned in displeasure.

"Come on, Arcas. We need to collect some firewood before it starts raining." Hercules got up, and wiping dirt off his pants, motioned to Arcas to follow him as they made their way back to where they had left their gear. He showed Arcas what made good kindling and the different sized branches they could use, and then Hercules showed him how to dig a hole for the firewood and cover it with their gear as so it wouldn't get damp.

"Can't we just go back to the palace instead?" Arcas asked him.

"I thought you wanted to go camping. This is camping," Hercules told him, settling back down on the ground.

"The stories you told about you and Uncle Iolaus camping were a lot more fun," Arcas said, grumpily, making Hercules laugh.

"That's because I only tell you the good stories."

It wasn't soon after that the sky opened up on them, and the ground became so muddy that Hercules reluctantly decided to call it a day. Well, the mud, plus Arcas' whining about being cold. "You're going to need to toughen up, kid," he told him, playfully. Arcas wrinkled his nose at his father but made no comment. Spending so much time with Meg in the palace must have reminded him of being back in Kastus, because Arcas was not usually this obstinate.

By the time they got back, both of them were soaked through. The sky was an ugly black – they were going to be in for one heck of a storm. Hercules wrapped Arcas up in a blanket and deposited him down in front of the roaring flames of the hearth that he had got started when they first returned. "You get warmed up while I change."

Arcas gave him a curious look. "You only brought one pair of clothes."

"No, I didn't. I brought another shirt and pants."

"You brought two of the same clothes?"

Hercules sighed. _The outfit jokes never get old…_ "You've been spending too much time with Jason."

Arcas shrugged in a way that said he disagreed, but inched closer to the fire and shook his hair out like a dog, sending water droplets everywhere. The move gave Hercules pause. Iolaus used to do the same thing. Arcas could feel him staring at him and looked back over. "What?"

Hercules shook his head. "Nothing. Just… try not to drip everywhere."

He changed into a dry version of his clothes and then pulled out a new tunic and pants for Arcas. Insisting he could get dressed himself, Hercules left him to it while he tried to wipe up all the puddles they had left around the guest room, only having to stop to help Arcas with the leather ties around his pants.

"I can do it myself," Arcas was saying as Hercules secured the knot.

"Arcas, if you walked out of here with those things tied like that your pants would be around your ankles. I don't think that's the look you were going for," Hercules said, making Arcas giggle.

There was a knock on their door, and Arcas ran over to it excitedly. "I'll get it!" He stood up on his toes and tried to wrench it open. When that failed, he sighed dramatically and said, instead, "Come in!"

He stepped back as Jason poked his head in. "Jason!" Arcas bounced up and down happily as the former king stepped through the door and engulfed him in a hug.

"You're back early," Jason observed, ruffling Arcas' hair affectionately.

"The trip got cancelled on account of rain." Hercules raised an eyebrow at his son. "And someone complaining about being too wet."

"Ha!" Jason snorted. "Arcas, you should hear about some of the places your father and I have slept-"

"Let's not," Hercules cut in, quickly, shutting the door behind Jason. "Kiddo, why don't you go play with your toys?"

Arcas pursed his lips. "You're trying to get rid of me so you can talk about grown up stuff."

"Yep. So… shoo." Arcas gave him one more defiant look before stomping off to the other corner of the room. "How'd it go?" Hercules asked Jason once Arcas started busying himself with digging his things out of their wet packs.

"Fine," Jason said, shrugging. "Iphicles is going to sign the peace plan, after the concessions are written in…"

"That's not what I meant."

"I know what you meant." Jason scratched at his chin, stalling. "That… went okay, too."

Hercules waited, but when Jason refused to elaborate, he raised his eyebrows. "It went okay?" he asked, slowly.

Jason nodded, coming around to sit by the fire. "Yep."

Hercules felt the fine threads of his patience slowly starting to unravel, and he pinched the bridge of his nose in an effort to stem the inevitable headache. "So, that's it?"

Jason glanced at him out of the corner of his eye, warming his hands. "What's it?"

"That's all you're going to say? She wasn't mad?"

"I didn't say that."

"So… she _was_ mad?"

Jason didn't answer, and Hercules threw his hands up, exasperated. "Jason… was I right?"

"Do you think she actually told me that?"

"I don't know! I'm asking _you._ "

More silence. Hercules saw Arcas staring at them and narrowed his eyes. "You keep playing," he ordered, and Arcas quickly looked away again.

"I'm going to tell you," Jason said, "the same thing I told you last night. It's out of your hands."

Hercules stubbornly refused to accept that. "It's not right."

"That's not for you to decide."

Hercules tapped his foot impatiently before stalking over and stepping in front of Jason, blocking the former king's view of the fire. " _Jason_ ," he said, deliberately, making his friend look up at him finally. "I need to know."

Jason stared at him a long moment before shaking his head and looking down at the floor. "What good is that going to do for you, Hercules?"

The demigod really didn't have a good answer for that. He wasn't quite sure he knew himself. He made an aggravated noise and ran his hand over his face. "I… don't know. Okay? I don't know. It's just… it's important."

Jason stood up and put a hand on his shoulder. "Having Meg isn't the same thing as having Iolaus back."

"I know that. That's not what this is." He looked over at Arcas quickly to make sure he was still amusing himself. Jason followed his gaze.

"Ah," he said, suddenly, making Hercules look at him curiously. "You think those two are going to be like you and Iolaus, don't you?"

Hercules blinked, taken aback. "What? Jason… no. I wasn't even thinking about that." And he really wasn't, truthfully, until Jason had brought it up. But now that he had… _It would be amazing if it happened. They could grow up together, go to the Academy together…_ He stopped, noticing Jason's look, before he got carried away and started planning their future wedding. "I really wasn't even considering that until you said something."

"Great," Jason said, pained.

"But, it doesn't matter anyway right? Because… she didn't tell you anything, and I was wrong." He gave Jason a once over. "Right?"

Jason stared into the fire until Hercules was concerned the Argonaut was going to damage his eyesight. He sighed heavily, and looked the demigod in the eye. "I gave her my word I wouldn't tell you."

 _I knew it._ "I knew it!" he exclaimed out loud. "I _knew_ it."

"Hercules," Jason interrupted, "you know you can't say anything."

"Jason, she already knows that I know something-"

"She thinks _you_ think you know something." Jason sighed, irritated, and sat back in the chair. "This is getting too complicated." He scowled into the fire again. "She said you were perceptive. _Obsessive_ is more like it." But Hercules ignored him, pacing around the room excitedly. "And what, exactly, do you plan on doing with this information?"

"I haven't figured that out yet."

"Hmmm. Can I make a suggestion?"

"No."

"I suggest," Jason continued, as if Hercules hadn't spoken, "that you pack up your things and head back to Corinth and pretend nothing happened."

Hercules stopped and acted like he was considering it. "No, that's not it." He went back to pacing, his hand on his chin, lost in thought.

"Gods give me strength," Jason muttered. "You're going to start a war, you know that?"

"Don't be ridiculous."

" _I'm_ not the one being ridiculous here."

Hercules shot him a look of extreme irritation. "I haven't even done anything yet."

"Yes. 'Yet' being the key word."

"Come on, Jason, give me some credit. Do you really think I'm going to storm into the throne room and demand that she tell everyone that Meg is Iolaus'?" At Jason's lack of a response, Hercules shook his head angrily. "Thanks."

"Hercules, you've been acting so strangely since we got here that, no, I can honestly say I have no idea what you're thinking."

"I've been acting strangely because _they've_ been acting strangely." He snapped his fingers suddenly. "Hector and Linus."

Jason's eyebrows went up. "Excuse me?"

"Hector and Linus. I haven't seen much of them since we got here, since yesterday in the market. Have you?"

"No…"

"Huh. That's weird. I think I'll go find them."

Jason groaned and grabbed Hercules' arm before he could head out the door. "Hercules, please."

"Jason," Hercules said, firmly, "I know what you're going to say. And… you're probably right." Jason looked surprised at that. "I just… I can't let this happen. Meg should know her father."

"Hercules, this is not worth ruining someone's life!"

"How is this going to ruin her life?"

"Because, I told you, it's not just about Meg. This concerns Niobe, and Attica."

"It's _stupid_. What does it matter if it was Iolaus and not Orestes who got everyone to sign the damned peace plan?" Hercules demanded, angrily. "It was still Niobe and Orestes' idea, wasn't it?"

"Yes. But, that doesn't explain what she was doing sleeping with Iolaus when she was supposed to be burying her husband!" Jason snapped back.

"What are you talking about?"

They both jumped and turned at the sound of Arcas' voice, both having forgotten he was there. _Damn_ , Hercules thought, worriedly. _I wonder how much of that he picked up._

"Uh, nothing," Jason said, trying to brush him off. "Grown up stuff."

"Like what?" Arcas asked, innocently.

"Um… how babies are made. Ow!" He glared at Hercules and rubbed the spot on his arm where the demigod had hit him. "Well, it's sort of true."

"Are you out of your mind?" Hercules hissed through clenched teeth but to his surprise, Arcas just shrugged, unimpressed.

"Meh, I know about that already."

Hercules' eyes doubled in size. "You do?"

"Sure. The gods send a giant bird made out of a lightning bolt, and it hits the girl, and it's like, BAM!" He slammed his hands together in demonstration. "And then a baby pops out."

Hercules and Jason exchanged glances, and then both immediately nodded vigorously. "Yes," his father agreed. "That's exactly right. Go… sit back down over there, okay?" Arcas shrugged but did as he was told. Hercules let out a relieved breath. "That was close. He almost gave me a heart attack." He looked over at Arcas, and then at the door. "Keep an eye on him for me, will you, Jason?"

"Now, hang on a minute-" But Hercules was already closing the door behind him. Jason held up a finger at Arcas, and instructed him to stay put before running after Hercules into the hall. "Hey! Hercules, get your ass back over here."

"I'm just going to find Hector and Linus and have a nice chat."

"You are acting like a lunatic!" Jason whispered harshly, catching up to him.

"Jason, I can't sit by, or go back home, and just pretend like everything is okay. I can't. Iolaus…" Hercules paused, looking around, and then continued, more quietly, "Iolaus is my best friend. I owe him this."

"You owe him _what_ , exactly?"

"A chance to know his daughter. That's all I'm asking."

"And you think Hector or Linus is just going to go convince Niobe to let that happen?" Jason asked incredulously. "You're unbelievable!"

"I don't know. But, I'm going to find out." He put a hand on Jason's shoulder. "I need you to trust me, okay? And watch Arcas for a little bit."

Jason looked like he really wanted to argue, and probably beat some sense into his stepson while he was at it, but he stepped back. "Fine. I'm obviously not going to be able to talk you out of it."

"No."

"Just try to remember, if you do this and it gets out, this little house of cards you're playing with might just come crashing down on everyone, Hercules. And someone is going to get hurt."

"Nice metaphor. And, I'm trying to _avoid_ someone getting hurt, Jason."

Jason frowned and crossed his arms over his chest. "This is going to be hard for you to accept, and I mean it with love, because he's my friend, too… but, Iolaus is not more important than Niobe, or Meg, or anyone else here."

Hercules didn't even spare Jason a look on that one. "He is to me."

* * *

 **Now**

Iolaus sat by himself in the kitchen, trying to ignore the whispered conversation between Hercules and Arcas in the next room. He drummed his fingers on the table distractedly, and took a better look around Alcmene's old house while he waited. Other than it being a lot bigger, Iolaus didn't think much had changed. There were less womanly touches, but that was bound to happen with three men living there.

Iolaus wasn't sure what to do. From the moment they had stepped inside, whatever joyful feelings he and Hercules had had out on the patio had instantly evaporated. _Awkward_ , Iolaus thought, laughing to himself. _Arcas had said it was going to be awkward._ He wasn't kidding.

The things he had learned had taught him not to dwell on the past. It was done; there was nothing to do about it. He must focus on the present. But, all he and Hercules had was the past. He had expected for things to have changed, but this life that Hercules had been living with Arcas… he didn't know where he fit in it now. He suddenly felt more like an intruder than an old friend coming home, and it disturbed him.

There was also something more going on with Hercules. The way that Arcas had rushed in angrily… while it wasn't unexpected, it did hurt. It also hurt to see Hercules with a grown man for a son; a son that Iolaus didn't know. He and Hercules had talked in the past about having families again, but, they had always said they'd remain a part of each other's lives, spend time with each other's children. And here Hercules had been, a single father, raising a son alone. And Iolaus had no clue who Arcas was. It was something that was going to have to change, now that he was back.

If Hercules let him, he realized, with a pang. The demigod had been acting strangely, and he seemed… angry. Not overtly, and it probably would have gone unnoticed by someone else, but Iolaus knew. It was under the surface somewhere, simmering away. Iolaus didn't blame him. He wasn't an idiot. He'd been gone a long time. It had killed a part of him not to be able to write to Hercules, but it had been part of the deal once he had gotten to the temple. _Leave all things behind…_

He remembered he had sat there for days in front of the parchment, refusing to eat, refusing to speak, refusing to write what they wanted him to write. He hadn't moved, not even to go back to his cot and sleep. Every day they came to get the scroll, and every day it was blank. He didn't remember when it was that he finally broke down, only how it had felt. And then, that was it. His training had begun. Iolaus was surprised how vividly he remembered all of that. It had been so long ago, and so much had happened since then.

Iolaus came back to himself at the sound of footfalls, and looked up to see Arcas standing over him. He didn't look happy.

"I have been instructed to tell you that I'm sorry for yelling at you," he said, blandly, "and that, apparently, I would like to go for a walk."

Iolaus smiled at him knowingly, and peered around Arcas to see Hercules watching the both of them like a hawk. "I get it," he told him.

"Good, because if you hurt him, I'll kill you," Arcas said, straight faced, and smacked Iolaus lightly on the arm. "Have fun." He waved over his shoulder at his father and then headed out the door.

Iolaus watched the door slam shut, eyebrows raised, and then turned back around to see Hercules sitting back down across from him.

"He's just kidding," the demigod said, wearily.

"No, he's not," Iolaus said, rubbing the back of his neck in that old, familiar gesture, "but, it's okay. He's a good kid. You've um… you've done really well for yourself." Hercules didn't respond. Iolaus tried to read his expression, but found he couldn't. "I meant what I said earlier," he began, warily, "about… how I shouldn't have come here thinking everything was going to be the same. I'm not that naive. Things aren't the same. And…I get that."

Hercules frowned and tried to find something else to look at. "I don't want you to think that I'm not happy you're back, Iolaus. It's just… when I dreamt about how it would be when you got home, it was more like… five years or six years later. Not… twenty years later. And, a lot has happened. I've changed… I've changed a lot, actually. And, it's pretty obvious you have, too." He looked back over at Iolaus and waved a hand at him. "And I'm not talking about your hair. There's something different about you."

"That's because I am different," Iolaus told him truthfully. "Herc… when I left… I wasn't me. I know that's hard to understand, but… inside I felt wrong somehow. And, I wasn't planning on staying away so long. I really wasn't. But the things I was doing, and learning…" He trailed off and shook his head, looking away. "I dunno." Suddenly, he didn't feel like trying to explain.

Hercules sat back in his chair, arms folded, listening intently. When it became clear Iolaus wasn't going to elaborate, he asked, "So, what made you come home?"

Iolaus took a breath. _Well, here goes nothing…_ "You," he answered, truthfully. He didn't know what to expect from Hercules by way of a response, but the bitter laughter that escaped from the demigod's mouth was definitely not it.

"Me?" Hercules asked, in disbelief. "Oh, come on, Iolaus."

Iolaus blinked, hurt. Hercules' tone of voice was harsh, and it stung. For a moment he wasn't sure how to respond, but then he decided to let it go. He had prepared for something like this, after all. "It's true. Look, I had to spend a long time learning how _not_ to think about you-"

"Ah, well… sorry about that. Do you want to know how long it took me to not think about _you_?"

Iolaus didn't answer, and Hercules didn't expect him to. Instead, Hercules rubbed the bridge of his nose tiredly and shook his head. "I-I'm sorry, okay? This wasn't what I thought I was going to be doing tonight, that's all. When I woke up this morning, uh… seeing you was not high on my list of expectations. I had actually given up on it, to be honest."

Iolaus was startled. _Did Hercules just say he_ gave up _? What the hell was going on over here while I was gone?_ Hercules didn't give up. That was part of his thing. But, looking at Hercules now, Iolaus could tell he was serious. And, with sadness, he knew he was partly responsible. Iolaus took a deep breath. _You knew this was a possibility. Just… relax. Let him get it out._ "When," he began, and then cleared his throat, "uh, when did that happen? The… giving up part?"

Hercules stared at nothing, not answering, and the two of them sat in silence together, neither one knowing what to say. Finally, Hercules turned back to face him, and he suddenly looked very old. "After the first decade," he answered, emotionlessly. "But, hey… life had to go on, right?"

Iolaus felt the temperature in the room drop about twenty degrees with that statement. He had expected some yelling, or Hercules even flatly refusing to talk about it and just storming off, like he used to. But, not this… this cold, deep seated anger. It wasn't like him. Iolaus looked down at the table, suddenly extremely fascinated by the wood grain. "Do you want me to go?" he asked, quietly. He looked up to see Hercules staring at him as if he'd grown another head.

"No, Iolaus, of course I don't want you to go! What kind of question is that?"

Iolaus stared, dumbfounded. "I'm confused. I thought-"

"Iolaus, I don't want you to go. But… you need to give me some time," Hercules told him. "I'm angry, okay? I am. I had forgotten just how angry I was, actually. And I really just don't understand why you had to be gone for so long."

Iolaus reached across the table and put his hand on Hercules' arm. "And, I can't blame you for that." Hercules was looking at his hand like it was something foreign, and Iolaus tried to swallow the sadness that had started welling up. "And, I want to tell you everything. But, it's going to take a while. I know this isn't going to be easy. I get that. But... I'm back now. For real. And, if you don't want me to leave, I won't."

Hercules finally reached over and put his hand on top of Iolaus', giving it a squeeze. "No, I don't want you to leave. That's the last thing I want you to do. And I _am_ happy you're home. It's just..."

"Yeah," Iolaus agreed, "I know." He sat back in his chair, and started chuckling to himself. Hercules stared at him, a frown creasing his forehead.

"What?"

"Nothing… Arcas just said something outside, before you came out. About how this whole night was going to be super awkward." He laughed harder, but Hercules was still frowning.

"He said that, huh?"

"Yeah… why? What's the matter?"

Hercules didn't answer. He just kept staring at the door, as if his eyes could burn a hole through it. "He's out of line."

"Don't be so hard on him, Hercules."

"No, this is for me to deal with. For… _us_ to deal with. He's not usually like this. I'm sorry."

Iolaus was about to tell him to stop apologizing, but he knew it would be useless. That part of Hercules, it seemed, hadn't changed a bit. It actually kind of made him happy to know there was something that was still the same. "Well… I like him. He puts you in your place."

Hercules snorted. "That used to be your job."

 _Aaaaand we're back._ "Herc-"

"Forget it," Hercules said, shortly. Iolaus pursed his lips but didn't argue. His willingness to back down surprised Hercules, and he looked at him more closely across the table. "You really have changed a lot."

Iolaus wasn't sure, but the statement sounded almost… defeated. He wanted to ask why Hercules was acting like this, but that would have been redundant. _Just be patient_. _Give him some time._ "Anyway," Iolaus said, trying to turn the conversation around to something else, anything else, "is that what he was going on about? Or, was he talking about something different?"

For a moment Hercules looked confused, as if he had no idea what Iolaus was talking about. But then a look of realization came across his face, and he started shifting in his chair, suddenly very uncomfortable. "Uh… no. There's… something else." He scratched at something on his chest, and Iolaus stared at it as if really noticing Hercules for the first time. Hercules glanced around, as if expecting something or someone to be behind him. "What?"

"My amulet. You're not wearing it." Iolaus wasn't sure how to feel about that. He guessed he shouldn't have been surprised, but it was still hard to swallow.

Hercules' hand slowly stopped moving across his chest, and his eyes widened. "Shit," he said, softly, making Iolaus stare in shock. The Hercules he knew almost never cursed.

"Uh… okay." Iolaus was looking at him strangely. "Are you sure you're all right? You look sick." He nervously rubbed his hands on his pants, and started to get up. "Maybe we should just stop for the night. We've, uh… both had pretty long days."

"No, no… it's fine. Your amulet… yeah." Hercules took a deep, unsteady breath, and Iolaus could tell he was stalling. Which meant Hercules was about to tell him something that he was not going to like.

"Did you lose it?" he asked him, making Hercules scowl darkly at him, affronted.

"No, I didn't _lose_ it, Iolaus! What the hell? You think I would really lose something like that? It belonged to your father!"

Iolaus spread his arms, and said, placating, "Okay, okay, sorry… It's just, well… where is it? I, uh, would kind of like it back. It felt weird for a while, not having it on."

Hercules' eyes kept darting around the room, as if he expected some of the décor to spring to life and help him out. "Uh… so about that. I, uh… gave it to Meg, actually."

That threw Iolaus for a loop. He blinked a few times, not understanding. "Huh?" _That doesn't make any sense._ "Why on earth would you give it to Arcas' friend?"

Hercules was looking more and more uneasy, and Iolaus began to get suspicious. He picked some bread up off his plate and pulled it apart, giving Hercules a knowing look. "Herc… what's going on? Look, I can understand why Arcas is angry with me. He's your son, and he's just doing his job. Hell, I'd be more concerned if he _didn't_ want to kick my ass. But whatever is going on with you is more than…" he gestured between them, "whatever this is between the two of us right now. And I'm guessing it has to do with this girl?" When Hercules made no move to argue, he asked, deliberately, "Why did you give her my amulet?"

Hercules cleared his throat. "We have a lot to talk about," he said, lamely, and Iolaus just nodded in agreement, his eyes focused on Hercules with extreme interest.

"Uh, huh."

Hercules could tell he was not going to let it go that easily, and his stomach started clenching in a panic. He had really not planned on doing this right now, and he decided to blame Arcas for stirring up trouble, because that was easier. _That kid never knows when to back off and let me handle things_ , he thought, callously, and then laughed because he realized his son got that from him. He noticed that Iolaus was staring at him cautiously, and tried to stop the hysterics he knew were coming on. _Come on, Hercules, get a grip. You didn't have this much trouble telling Niobe you knew she was a liar._ Suddenly, that seemed a lot easier than having to tell Iolaus the truth, and he knew why. Iolaus was going to be absolutely furious, and what little ground they had gotten back over the past few hours was going to be destroyed. And in a righteous way, Hercules felt that only he had a right to be angry right now. Iolaus was the one who had been gone, dammit, and Hercules had been the one here dealing with all of it. This wasn't his fault.

Iolaus gave him a blank stare and threw the bread back down. "Okay, can we skip over this whole song and dance of you trying to avoid whatever it is you've got to tell me?"

"That's not what I'm doing."

"It's not? Because you have that face."

Hercules pressed his lips into a thin line, beginning to get annoyed again. "What face?"

"The 'I have something to tell Iolaus but I know it will make him upset so I am going to put it off as long as possible' face."

Hercules raised an eyebrow. "I have a 'face'?"

"When you're trying to avoid telling me something, yes, you do have a face. It's the same face you gave me when I woke up in the Underworld and I had to figure out for myself that I was dead."

Hercules winced. "Oh. That face." He sighed. "Um, okay… so Meg."

"Uh, huh…?"

"Remember earlier when you thought it was weird that everyone kept saying that I was in Attica all the time?"

"….Yes."

"Well, that's because… Meg is from Attica."

Iolaus gave him a wide eyed look that clearly said that he was seriously concerned for the demigod's mental wellbeing. "Okaaay. And that's why you gave her my amulet? Because she's from Attica? Why would you…" He stopped and blinked a few times, and Hercules was half hoping he had figured it out on his own. But then Iolaus just shook his head, starting to laugh, and picked up some more olives and duck to put on his plate. "Oh, come on. Get serious, Hercules. What," he said, in disbelief, "are you going to try and tell me that Meg's my secret illegitimate daughter with Niobe or something? Ha!" He did laugh at that, and shot an incredulous look over at Hercules, assuming his friend was playing some kind of sick joke. "Gods. Wouldn't that be terrible?" Iolaus laughed again, popping some olives into his mouth, but then stopped and looked at Hercules suspiciously once he realized that the demigod's expression hadn't changed. "Uh, Herc? Why aren't you laughing?"

Hercules looked like he wished he could be anywhere else, and he insanely hoped that somehow the floor would just open up and swallow him whole. Iolaus' smile slowly started fading when he realized in horrid fascination that what he had said in jest was horribly, and absolutely, not a joke at all, but some kind of terrible truth. The blood drained from his face, and he dropped his food like it had burnt him. He suddenly felt like he was about to be seriously ill. "Oh," he said, weakly, "oh, my gods. Oh, gods…" He put his head in his hands and looked down at the floor, breathing heavily. "This isn't happening…" Iolaus tried to get himself back under control, worried he was going to start hyperventilating. _I can't believe this. He wouldn't, he wouldn't do this to me, he_ wouldn't _…_ He was still trying to convince himself that it was all just some terrible mistake that it took him a second to realize that Hercules had started talking again.

"Look, this is _not_ how I intended for this evening to go. And, I know it's a shock, but if you'll let me explain… whoa, wait, what are you doing?" Hercules asked in alarm, because Iolaus had gotten up and was pacing back and forth, and, to Hercules' astonishment, had started muttering rapidly in another language under his breath. Whatever he was saying, it sounded angry. And it was definitely directed at him. _Oh, boy…_ Hercules thought miserably.

"Iolaus, just… sit down, okay? I can explain." But Iolaus whirled around to face him, and there was such a fire in his eyes that Hercules involuntarily flinched.

"How long?" Iolaus demanded in Greek again, the words deep and low in his throat.

Hercules tried to play dumb. "I don't-"

"Don't do that! It's insulting, to both of us! _How long_ did you know about this, Hercules?" Iolaus took a step toward him and Hercules pushed his seat back. He realized that he had lost all control of the situation, and tried, in vain, to regain it again.

"Iolaus, if you'll just-"

"Answer me!" he bellowed, fists clenched.

Hercules swallowed. Iolaus was seething, and no matter what he said or did, the demigod knew this was a fight he was not going to win. He took a deep breath, and, mentally preparing for the explosion that was about to follow, reluctantly admitted, "About a year after you left."

As expected, Iolaus did not take that well.

* * *

 **Then – Hercules**

Hector whistled jauntily to himself as he completed his afternoon rounds. He would be glad when the delegation from Corinth was on their way home. Not that he didn't like King Iphicles, or Jason, but having so many extra people in the palace made him nervous. Anything could happen. Like running into the son of Zeus in the marketplace, for starters.

Hector sighed. He had not handled that well. He had still been in a fluster over the princess going missing – again – and then running into Hercules, and having Meg run up with Hercules' son, just about stopped his heart. He realized, looking back on it now, that he probably raised the man's suspicion by acting so oddly when Hercules brought up Iolaus. But, he just hadn't been prepared.

The old soldier frowned. Iolaus had been a good man. Hector hadn't necessarily agreed with the Queen's decision to pass Megara off as Orestes', but it wasn't his place to argue. All that mattered was making sure that she was pronounced heir. Iolaus was Orestes' cousin, after all, and so Meg had more claim to the throne than even Niobe, and especially more than any of her and Amphion's children. He shook his head at the thought of Amphion. He really disliked that man.

Lost in his thoughts, Hector turned a corner and ran smack into something solid and warm. He backed up, startled, and when his eyes came back into focus, he found himself staring into a yellow tunic. _Uh, oh._ His eyes continued up, until they rested on Hercules' face.

"Hi," the demigod said, cheerily. "We need to talk."

* * *

"I told Niobe I didn't think it was a wise idea, that it wasn't right, having Meg grow up thinking she was someone she's not, but… there really didn't seem to be any other way."

Hector and Hercules were in the soldier's quarters where they could have some privacy. "Because of the peace accord between all the kingdoms," Hercules droned, getting kind of tired of hearing it. But Hector shook his head.

"Not only that, but – and I would never speak ill of Niobe, or Iolaus – her having a child with an imposter, well… it would have been a scandal." He poured himself a cup of wine and took a generous sip. "I felt bad for Niobe. Orestes... I knew him his whole life, and he was my king. He ended up being a good man, in the end, but I fear the damage had already been done between them. She was heartbroken when she discovered our deception with Iolaus, and he, Linus, and I felt terrible for having to put her through that. She really did love Iolaus, Hercules. What happened between them… it was inevitable, once Orestes had been killed. I hope you don't think poorly on either of them. And I'm sure producing a child was not either of their intent."

Hercules kept his feelings on that subject to himself. He didn't know Niobe well enough to comment, but Iolaus was a different story. _Just once, Iolaus, it would have been nice if you could have kept it in your pants._ _I guess that's too much to ask._ He frowned inwardly. Usually when he thought those kinds of things, it was with a touch of humor. But… Hercules found himself more than a little frustrated and annoyed with his friend. They wouldn't even be in this situation, if… _No. It takes two people to make a child, Hercules. You can't throw this all on Iolaus, or all on Niobe._ "They were both stupid," he muttered, and didn't realize he had said it out loud until Hector chuckled, softly.

"Love makes people do all sorts of stupid things, Hercules, as I'm sure you probably know."

Hercules thought about all the temples he had destroyed after Deianeira and the kids' deaths, about how he had used his accidental trip back in time with the Chronos stone to save Serena, and about the horrible depression, rage, and self-loathing that had consumed him after Iolaus had died. "Yeah… I know." He gazed out across the room, not really looking anything, before asking, "Do you think Amphion knows?"

Hector snorted. "Absolutely not. The marriage probably wouldn't have happened if he thought Meg illegitimate. And he would have never allowed Niobe to declare her the heir to Attica once Niobe found out she was going to have Orion."

"What is it with those two? Forgive my asking, but…" He held his hands up. "I just don't get it."

"A marriage of convenience, much like the one between her and Orestes," Hector said, sadly. "Unfortunately, for those in positions of royalty, that is the only marriage that they can have. I think that's why Niobe held on so strongly to Iolaus."

"Did she even give Orestes a chance?" Hercules couldn't help but ask.

Hector shrugged and shook his head. "I don't know. Perhaps, in time, if Xenon hadn't pulled off his cowardly assassination… she may have realized that he had changed and that Orestes could have been a good husband, and a good father. But… we will never know now." He looked sad, and Hercules immediately felt guilty.

"I'm… sorry. I didn't mean to imply-" but Hector waved at him dismissively.

"Orestes was a drunk and a womanizer for a long time. Niobe knew that Orestes far longer than she knew the one she was married to." He sighed and straightened his uniform. "I have to ask you, Hercules… what are you going to do now? You know that I cannot allow word of this to reach the people of Attica, or Amphion."

"I know… It's complicated, I know." Hercules rubbed a hand over his forehead, tiredly. "I don't know what I'm going to do now, Hector. Iolaus… I can't describe to you what he means to me. He's my best friend, he's my brother. I owe him my life."

"I feel the same way about my men."

"No… I mean, of course, I'm sure you do. I've lived the life of a soldier, back in the war against Parthia, and in Troy. But, Iolaus and I… it's more than that." He stopped, seeing the expression on Hector's face, and tried to repress the aggravated sigh that was about to escape his lips. "No, not that either."

"I wasn't going to say anything," the soldier said, placating. Hercules didn't dignify that with a response.

"Look… I've known Iolaus my whole life. I know him better than anyone. And, I already see so much of him in Meg. What is she going to learn about ruling from hearing stories about Orestes? She has a wonderful role model in her mother, don't get me wrong… but… she's going to ask about him. Are you really going to lie to her even more?"

"That, unfortunately, is not my decision to make, Hercules," Hector said.

"You're right. It's Niobe's. But… you're more of an advisor to her. A friend. Surely you could-"

"I could do what? Make her tell the truth? It would be a disaster. There are so many different pieces in play, Hercules. The peace plan, her marriage to Amphion, who would rule Attica… No. What's done is done."

For some reason, hearing someone other than Jason say it hit home for Hercules. Hector was right. What was he trying to do here? Ruin someone's marriage? Take away any chance Meg may have to be a good queen? It wasn't his right to make those kinds of choices, even if he didn't agree with how he thought it was being handled. And Iolaus… he was gone. He was in the East. Nothing Hercules could do here would have any effect on his friend. If Iolaus came back, that would be a different story. _When_ , Hercules corrected himself, firmly. _When Iolaus gets back._

This was going to be the hardest thing Hercules ever had to walk away from, but, like Hector said… there were just too many pieces in play. He couldn't force his way on this one. The idea left him cold and empty inside. Maybe Jason was right… he was trying to convince everyone to see his side because then he'd be able to spend time with Meg, tell her about Iolaus, when – even if he somehow convinced Niobe to let Meg know the truth – he didn't even know if they would allow him to be part of her life. And Hercules had Arcas to take care of. He wasn't responsible for raising his friend's child as well. The whole situation was depressing, and Hercules wished that he had never come to Attica, had just told Arcas no and let the boy have his temper tantrum and get over it. He didn't want to know this information, not anymore.

"Hercules?" Hector was saying. "What are you going to do?"

The demigod let out a breath and shook his head, sadly. "Nothing. It doesn't look like there's anything I _can_ do."

"What about Iolaus?"

Hercules gave Hector a confused look. "What do you mean, what about Iolaus?"

"You're not going to tell him?" Hector asked in disbelief.

The truth was, deep down, Hercules had been secretly considering it, and the hell with what Iolaus had said about not coming after him. But he honestly wasn't sure what kind of purpose that would serve, and he said as much. "What help would that be?" he asked Hector. "Would it be better for him to come storming in here and cause a scene with Niobe?"

"No…"

"Then either way, someone loses. Whether it's Meg, or Iolaus. This entire thing is just screwed up. The whole thing with him pretending to be Orestes to begin with was screwed up. I guess… I guess it couldn't have ended well, no matter what happened. I just… I just wish there was a way for her to know her father. Because… well… he's someone worth knowing."

Hector shrugged, at a loss. "But, he's not here."

Hercules clenched a fist, the frustration and emotions of the last few days starting to be too much. With effort, he unclenched his hand and made himself calm down. "You're right," he said, quietly. "He's not."

* * *

The storm continued to rage outside the palace walls, but to Hercules, it couldn't compare to the one that was going on inside himself. He had told Jason about his conversation with Hector and that he had decided, for the moment, the soldier and Jason were right.

"I don't like it either, Hercules," Jason said, trying to console him. "I really don't. But, it's not our place."

"I was thinking about sending for Iolaus," Hercules admitted, absently turning the poker in the fire. He waited for a sharp response from Jason but none came. "You're not going to try and talk me out of that?"

They were alone back in Hercules' room. Arcas had been sent off to the nursery to be with Meg since, to Hercules' disdain, this was probably going to be the last time they saw each other. It made his heart break.

Jason shrugged, grabbing another log and throwing it into the hearth, making little sparks fly out and onto the cold stone floor. "I can't tell you what to do with him. I could try, but you'll just ignore me."

"And figure it out for myself that you were right all along?" Hercules muttered, darkly.

"Something like that. This is a no win situation, Hercules. Do you think you should write to him? He asked you not to."

"He said not to come looking for him. And, he didn't know about this when he said that."

"And if he's not ready to come home?"

Hercules stared at him in astonishment. "You really think he'd stay there if I tell him what's going on?"

Jason shrugged. "I'm not sure. He had a lot to work though, when he left."

"You're crazy," Hercules told him, shaking his head. "Iolaus wouldn't do that."

Jason didn't respond, and Hercules felt his mood continuing to go downhill. "I should have just stayed home," he said, finally.

"Don't say that," Jason said, but he didn't sound convinced.

"Really, Jason, what would I have missed out on? Having to carry all this stuff around? I get to go home now and pretend that none of this ever happened. I have to tell Arcas, 'No, you can't come here anymore'. What good possibly came from all of this?" He threw the poker down angrily and it clattered to the floor, making Jason wince. He got up and said, more softly, "I never should have come here."

"You got out of the house. You took your son fishing, and you had a good time doing it. You were actually smiling for a change," Jason told him, following Hercules and getting up. "It showed you that Arcas will be okay without you hovering over him every five seconds. And it showed you that you can have a conversation about Iolaus without wanting to break something."

"That last part's not entirely true," Hercules corrected, thinking of the mirror.

"Well… yeah, but the rest is. Hercules, this hurts me, too. But we can't go around interfering with people's lives. That's not something that you stand for, remember?"

Hercules pressed his lips together and glanced around the room. "I'll just be happy when we can get out of here," he said, sadly. "It's like… it's like I lost him all over again." He found himself clenching his fists again, and this time, he didn't try to push away his anger. "I'm going for a walk," he said, sharply, and walked over to the door.

"In _this_?" Jason asked, gesturing outside.

"Sure. Why not?"

 _Oh, brother_. Jason glanced outside and then back at Hercules nervously. "Is that really a good idea?"

"I don't really care."

Jason put a hand on his shoulder. The last time he had seen Hercules like this was when he'd gotten the scroll from Iolaus. He'd run off then, too, gotten his hand smashed up, and had also gotten a son. Jason doubted this was going to end as well as that first situation had.

"Don't," Hercules said before Jason could talk him out of it. "There's nothing for it, Jason. I just… I can't deal with this right now."

"What about tonight? You know Amphion's going to want you at that celebration."

Hercules laughed bitterly. The mere idea of him going to a party and having to stand around with Niobe and pretend nothing was wrong made him want to violently attack something. "I'm not going to that thing."

"But-"

"I'm _not_ going. Make up some excuse. I really don't care what it is. Tell him I broke the damn mirror in your room, I don't know. The last thing I want to do right now is smile and look happy and pretend everything is all right in front of my brother, Amphion, and Niobe. Just… leave me alone, Jason. I'm sorry. I can't be around anybody right now."

And before Jason could argue any further, he swiftly stepped outside and slammed the door roughly behind him.

* * *

Meg stared glumly out of the nursery window, watching the rain roll off the stained glass and down into the courtyard. "This is so boring!"

Arcas glanced up at her from his seat on the floor. "Yeah," he agreed, sighing. "I was supposed to be camping with my dad." He was starting to wish he had just sucked it up with his father and stayed outside, because Meg's mood was almost as bad as the storm. "He and my Uncle Iolaus used to do it all the time."

Meg hopped down off the cushioned chair she was standing on and came to sit beside her friend. "Where is he now?"

"Who? Iolaus?" Arcas shrugged. "My dad says he's on vacation."

"Vacation from camping?"

"I guess."

"What does your daddy do?" Meg asked him, scooting closer.

"He helps people. Jason says he's a great hero. People come and ask him for help all the time."

"Is Jason a hero, too?"

Arcas nodded enthusiastically. "Yeah. They were on the… Argo. Yeah, the Argo together. Jason, my dad, and Iolaus. They had to get the golden fleece."

"What's that?"

"Some ugly sheep skin that my Uncle Iphicles keeps on the wall."

Meg pondered that. "Oh."

"My dad and Iolaus used to camp all the time, and travel around on adventures, and help people together," Arcas said, proudly.

"Sounds fun. We should do that." She nodded firmly to herself. "Yes. We should do that." She stood up and grabbed Arcas' hand.

"Wait, what are you doing?" Arcas asked as she pulled him to the door.

"Going on an adventure!"

 _Uh, oh_. "What, right now?" Arcas tried to pry his hand from Meg's grip.

"Of course! Hey, what's an Argo?"

Arcas glanced over at the servant girl Moira, trying to get her attention, but she was busy fussing over Meg's baby sister Ariana. "Uh... a ship."

"Oh." Meg stopped long enough to put a finger on her lip, as if she was deep in thought. "We'll have to find one of those," she decided, and continued to pull Arcas toward the nursery room door.

Arcas planted his feet and refused to budge. "Meg, we can't go on an adventure."

"Why? Are you afraid?" she asked him, making his cheeks burn.

"No, I'm not!" he said, hotly.

"We won't get in trouble," Meg assured him. "I leave all the time."

Arcas gaped at her. "But you _do_ get in trouble!"

Meg stared at him and then shrugged dismissively. "Well… this time I won't get caught."

"No, Meg! I can't go!"

"Why? It will be fun!"

"Because," Arcas told her, "my dad will come looking for me, because we're leaving tomorrow."

Meg stopped in her tracks, letting go of Arcas' hand. He had still been trying to pull free and almost tripped over himself when she suddenly let go. "What do you mean?" she asked, softly.

Arcas rubbed his hand and tried to avoid looking at her. "My dad says we have to go home tomorrow. Jason and Uncle Iphicles are done, so… we have to go."

Meg stared at him with a strange expression on her face, and Arcas felt something like electricity start running up his arms. He quickly tried to throw up the mental shields he had been practicing. _This is going to be bad_ , he thought, and he wasn't disappointed, as Meg clenched her tiny fists and stamped loudly on the floor.

" _No_!" she shouted, shaking her head, making her curls fly around her as if they had a mind of their own. "It's not fair! I just got you! You can't leave!"

"I'm sorry," Arcas said, sadly. "I don't want to go." He tried to reach for her hand again but she jerked away and ran toward the door. "Wait!" He didn't want to tell on her, but he didn't know what else to do. "Moira, Meg is running away!" He briefly caught a glimpse of the hurt look on Meg's face before she pried a board loose on the large wooden door of the nursery and slipped out and into the hall. Despite the situation, Arcas was impressed. _She's going to have to teach me some of this stuff_ , he decided. _If she ever talks to me again._

The servant girl came running over to Arcas, looking around the room wildly. "Arcas, what happened? Where did she go?"

Arcas pointed at the door. "She ran away, out there."

Baffled, Moira ran over to the door and wrenched it open. "Arcas, stay here and don't move!" she ordered.

Outside, another thunderclap sounded and Arcas flinched. He felt his throat closing and squeezed his eyes shut. _No, I am_ not _going to cry_. He felt helpless, and he wanted his father. He started to make his way over to the door, but stopped, biting his lip. Orion and Ariana were still in here. He couldn't leave them alone.

He padded over to the crib and peered into it. The baby girl was asleep. Orion was in the next crib over, happily gnawing away on the wooden bars. _They're smaller than me. I have to watch them now._ He sighed and sank to the floor, putting his chin in his hands. _Dad_ , he thought, hopelessly, _where are you?_

* * *

The rain was cold and biting, but Hercules barely even felt it. He gave the sky a laconic glare and kept walking down the path, not really paying attention to where he was going.

This, he decided, was the low point. He'd had a more than terrible year, starting with Iolaus leaving, the horrible situation with Zeus and losing Xena and Gabrielle in the middle, and now all of this capping it off. And the worst part about it was Iolaus hadn't really even been gone that long. He had disappeared to the East for longer than this when Anya had died. _That's different. He left on better terms. He left because of his grief, not because of what Dahak had done to him… because of you._

Hercules replayed the things Iolaus had said to him over and over in his mind. They stung, but out of everything, Iolaus still hadn't said he blamed him for what had happened. Hercules didn't know if Iolaus just didn't say it to his face, or if his friend really believed part of it wasn't Hercules' fault. _I dragged him there._ Me _. He died because of me. He got possessed because of me. He left because of me._ Maybe he _should_ write to him, or go to the East, tell him what was going on. Maybe… maybe it would make things better, help get some of the trust back that Hercules couldn't help but feel the both of them had somehow lost.

He shook his head and pushed his wet hair out of his eyes. This back and forth was getting him nowhere. And his arms were starting to go numb from the chill. Still, he didn't want to go back to the palace and deal with Amphion and Niobe, or Jason's pitying looks. He was already feeling sorry for himself. He didn't need other people doing it, too.

Hercules continued to stamp up the muddy path when a particularly hellish lightning bolt lit up the sky followed by more thunder and, to Hercules' confusion, what sounded like voice. He stopped and tilted is head, listening, half-convinced that it had been the wind, when he heard his name over the roaring of the rain. The voice sounded louder this time. He grimaced. _It never fails._

He hadn't gotten that far from the palace gates, so he begrudgingly turned around to see what the problem was, and to his utter astonishment saw the form of Niobe running down the stone steps and up the path after him, almost slipping in the mud as she did so. She had a dark cloak on to cover her head, but it was already sopping wet by the time she caught up to him.

She was out of breath, and Hercules grabbed her by the arms to steady her. "Niobe? What's wrong? What's going on?"

"It's Meg," she said, breathlessly. "We don't know where she is."

Hercules' heart immediately sped up. "Arcas-?"

"He's fine, he's fine," Niobe assured him. "He's still in the nursery."

The demigod relaxed a little, but didn't let go of Niobe's arm. "What happened?" He looked up at the sky as another thunderclap sounded. "Let's get you inside."

"No! Hercules, please… We've looked everywhere, all her usual hiding places. I think she found out you and your son were leaving…"

Hercules blinked the rain out of his eyes. "You think she came out here?" He looked around worriedly. _Gods, I hope not._ "Did you check the garden?"

"Yes, yes, I looked everywhere!" Niobe exclaimed, frantically. "Hercules, I know… I know you and I haven't gotten off to the best start, and I promise I will tell you _everything_ if you'll just help us look for her."

Hercules didn't know whether to be affronted that Niobe thought she needed to bribe him for his help, but he quickly decided it wasn't worth it and started leading her back to the palace, helping pull the cloak tighter around her. "Don't worry… I'll find her."

Hercules helped Niobe up the stairs and through the gates. "How could she have gotten outside without anyone seeing?" he asked once they had gotten inside. He glanced up to see Hector and Linus running toward them.

"She's fast," Linus explained, "and small. This isn't the first time it's happened."

"She's getting more adept at finding places she can squeeze through," Hector added, lighting a torch.

 _Sounds familiar_ , Hercules thought, ruefully. "She does this a lot?"

The two guards exchanged glances and then looked over at Niobe, who was removing her drenched cloak and handing it to one of her attendants. "Meg… she's like Arcas," the queen explained. "She doesn't have many friends. She lives here." She spread her hands helplessly.

"She's wild, Hercules," Hector interrupted, deciding to put decorum aside for the time being. "It's why we take her out to the market with us. She… doesn't like being cooped up in one place for too long."

 _Yep. Very familiar._ "All right. You two, keep looking in here. I'll… check outside." He heard Niobe take in a quick, gulping breath and he took her hand, squeezing it. "It'll be okay."

Hercules turned and headed back out of the gates and down the stone steps. He glanced around, deciding there was no way in Tartarus that Meg got those doors open herself. They were on a mechanism, and the doors had to be opened by someone on the inside. There was also no way any of the guards opened the door for their tiny four-year old princess. No, there was only one way she had gotten outside, and that was by following Hercules. The demigod sighed. _She must have seen me heading out and somehow slipped by._

Hercules started circling the palace walls, looking for an opening or hiding place small enough for Meg to squeeze through. He was really hoping she had hid someplace close to home, and had not followed him down the path and gotten lost in the woods. She would be frozen, or could be stuck in the mud somewhere, unable to call for help. Hercules tried to push those thoughts aside and focus.

He inched his way around the perimeter at what felt like a snail's pace, and finally saw something that looked promising. It was a small grate that lead down into the sewers. Hercules grimaced. He was really, really hoping he wasn't going to have to go down there. But then he got worried; the rain was coming down harder now, and water was slowing pouring into the opening. If Meg was down there and the rain didn't stop, she could drown. The demigod sat on his haunches, studying it. It was very small, but it was just the right size for a tiny and determined human being to squeeze through. And sure enough, when he looked closer, he could see that the grate had been moved off its track. _Wonderful. Meg, you're already just as much of a pain in my ass as your father._

Hercules tried to peer down into the opening. "Hello?" he called out, hopefully. He didn't get an answer, but he thought he saw a little flash of pink try to scurry out of the way. "Meg," he said, trying to sound non-threatening, "it's Hercules."

For a moment all Hercules could hear was the sound of rain and rushing water, but then a small voice finally came through the grate: "Go away!"

 _Bingo._ "Meg, come on, it's not safe in there."

"I'll only come out if you let Arcas stay here with me."

 _Ah, so that's what this was about._ "Meg, honey, you know I can't do that. Arcas has to come with me." No answer. "You can't stay down there forever." He thought he heard a tiny "hmph" and could just picture the little girl crossing her arms and pursing her lips. "What are you going to do when you get hungry?" Any mention of food usually worked for Iolaus, but it seemed Meg would rather suffer. Hercules sighed again and tried to peer more deeply into the opening. Obviously he wasn't getting down there from the outside. He tried to switch tactics. "You know… your mom is really scared."

He caught a glimpse of movement, and Meg finally came into his view. She did not look happy, her blue eyes narrowed as she looked up at him. _Right_. "And Hector and Linus, too. They're worried about you." That seemed to work. She looked down at her feet, which were shoeless again. "Meg… I know Arcas is your friend. But, I'm your friend, too. It's dangerous down there. How about you let me come get you?"

She was standing on one of the narrow ledges that lead into the underground system. Hercules was glad for that. _Hopefully she won't come out of there smelling like… well…_ "You'll take Arcas away," she said, softly. "I don't want to be all alone."

He was going to remind her that she had her brother and sister, but stopped. Mentioning her family didn't seem to really have the desired effect with her. "You won't be alone. What if…" He sighed, sitting down into the ground and leaning against the stone wall. "What if I could find a way for you to see us more? To see Arcas more. Would that be okay?"

"How? My mom doesn't like me talking to you."

That made Hercules' eyebrows go up in surprise. "She told you that?"

"No. I heard her talking about it, to Hector. She doesn't like you."

 _Huh. What a shock._ "You let me worry about that. If you and Arcas want to be friends, then… we'll find a way to make it happen. You can't always run away from the things that you don't like." He pulled the grate off and stuck his head in the opening. "Now, can you climb back out yourself? Because I don't think your mom would be very happy with me if I had to break the wall down."

Meg put her hands on her hips. "You can't do that."

"You'd be surprised." He put his hand through and beckoned at her. "Come on. I'll lift you up."

Looking only half convinced, Meg nonetheless finally took a step forward and stood on her toes to grab Hercules' fingers. The demigod stretched himself out on the ground, trying to get as much of himself into the opening as possible, and getting a good grip on Meg's wrist, hauled her up and out of the sewer and back into the rain. She was wet and extremely dirty. Hercules wrinkled his nose as he picked her up and headed back inside. "You need a bath, kid."

Meg looked like she'd rather swim in the sewage. "I hate baths."

Hercules couldn't help but laugh at that. "Yeah… so does someone else I know." He carried her back up the stairs and the gates opened at their arrival, causing a huge commotion from the people inside.

Niobe's eyes widened and she ran down to meet them. "Meg! Oh, thank the gods!" She took her daughter from Hercules, not caring about the mud and who knew what else that covered the little girl. "Are you all right?" she asked, smoothing Meg's hair.

"Yes," Meg replied, sullenly.

"Hercules, thank you! Where..." She trailed off, finally taking a good look at Meg and making a disgruntled looking face.

"In the sewer," Hercules answered, wiping some of the grime off onto his pants. Someone coughed, and he turned to see both Hector and Linus trying to hide their grins. "You might want to go make sure those grates are really, really secure."

Niobe tried to keep the look of annoyance off her face. "Meg…" she sighed, tiredly.

"What is the meaning of all of this?" They all turned to see King Amphion striding down the hallway, looking livid. He took a step back upon seeing the wet and brown stained Meg in Niobe's arms. "Niobe, I am getting sick and tired of dealing with _that,_ " he said, with barely contained fury, pointing at Meg.

Niobe flinched, but Meg just stuck her tongue out.

"I've had enough, I tell you! Do something about her, or-"

"Hey, that's enough!" Hercules said, stepping in between them.

Amphion's eyes widened. "You-you," he sputtered, going red in the face. Hercules was half expecting for him to start pulling tufts of hair out of his head.

"Back off, Amphion. And no, I really don't care," Hercules added, putting his hand up before Amphion could yell something to the effect of how Hercules couldn't talk to him like that. "You want to do something about it, post some guards that actually pay attention. Now, if you'll excuse me, I've had a _really_ crappy day, and I would like to go get cleaned up." _For the second time_ , he thought, tiredly. He glanced over at Niobe. "We'll talk later." He strode down the hall before Amphion could get another word in, almost running into Jason and Iphicles as he did so.

Both the current and former kings of Corinth wisely got out of the demigod's way. "What in Tartarus?" Jason started, but Hercules shook his head.

"Don't ask. Where's Arcas?"

"The nursery." Jason sniffed the air and gave Hercules a questioning look.

"I said," Hercules said, through clenched teeth, "don't ask."

* * *

Later on that evening, Jason, and Hercules were in the large and ornate sitting room in the private royal chambers. Jason was pacing distractedly while Hercules tried to ignore him, warming his hands in the fire.

"I can't believe you told Amphion to shut up," the former king was muttering.

"I didn't say that," Hercules said, patiently.

"Not in so many words, no. But still."

Hercules made a noncommittal noise and glanced over at Jason, watching him walk back and forth across the room. "Would you stop doing that? Everything is going to be fine."

"Easy for you to say," Jason mumbled, but took a seat. "Wonder what's taking her so long."

Hercules shrugged. The truth was he was pretty nervous himself. True to her word, Niobe had explained everything that had happened five years ago between her and Iolaus. About how they had tried to ignore what they had felt for each other, out of respect for Orestes, but when they had gotten to Marathon they eventually gave in; about how Niobe had asked Iolaus to stay with her, to pretend to be the king forever; and about how Iolaus, still in the guise of the king, had faked his death so that everyone would know that Orestes was truly dead. They had parted ways after that, both heart broken, and Iolaus knowing that he would most likely never be able to return to Attica for fear of being discovered.

 _Now I know why he was so upset when he came back._ Hercules inwardly seethed at the fact that Niobe had tried to convince Iolaus to live a lie.

"He didn't want to give up his life with you," she had said, hotly.

"Or maybe he didn't want to pretend to be someone that he wasn't for the rest of his life," Hercules had shot back, just as angrily. "And you had no business asking him to do it. Look, you spent the equivalent of four days with him. I've known him for a lifetime. Don't try to blame this on Iolaus because you were selfish and tried to keep him here as some fake imitation of your dead husband so you could feel better about yourself."

His words had hit a nerve, and luckily at that point they had been interrupted by an attendant that had been sent for Niobe, to bring her down to the celebration for Corinth and Attica signing the peace plan. Jason, having feigned illness, had hidden out of sight. The queen had excused herself so that she could tell Amphion that she would not be joining in the festivities, but not before throwing Hercules one last icy glare.

"When she comes back, could you maybe try and hold your temper?" Jason said to him, interrupting the demigod's reverie.

He glanced over at Jason, unfazed. "I will if she stops saying asinine things about Iolaus."

Jason made no comment, deciding he would really just rather be spared Hercules' derision, and he knew that trying to have a conversation about Iolaus when Hercules was in a mood like this was a fast and one way ticket to Tartarus. He couldn't bite his tongue for long, however. "Just give the woman a break. You're lucky she's telling you any of this at all."

Now it was Hercules' turn to be silent, the half god tossing Jason a withering look, before both of them glanced up as the door opened and Niobe stepped back inside.

"Well, he's not happy," the queen said, looking strained. "He's… not a very easy person to deal with sometimes."

Hercules kept his smart ass comment to himself.

Jason stepped forward to stand next to him. "We appreciate you taking to time to tell us all of this, Niobe." He tried to unobtrusively elbow Hercules in the ribs but was only partly successful, not missing the queen raising an eyebrow at him as Hercules rubbed his side and cleared his throat.

"Yes, thank you." Hercules must have looked properly abashed, because Niobe nodded and stepped further into the room. "So…"

Niobe clasped her hands together, looking uncomfortable. "So…" She looked back and forth between Jason and Hercules, and then nodded firmly to herself. "Jason, if you don't mind… I'd like to speak with Hercules alone."

Jason hesitated. Hercules put a hand on his shoulder. "Jason, it's fine."

"No, no, it's just… I really don't want to go down to that party," Jason admitted, which seemed to help break the ice.

"I'm sure Amphion will be thrilled that you've made a miraculous recovery," Hercules told him as Niobe laughed softly. He pushed Jason toward the door.

"Are you sure you're going to be all right?" Jason asked him again.

"It's fine," Hercules assured him. "Just… let me handle it."

Jason looked only half convinced, but he nodded, pointing a finger at Hercules' chest and ordering, "Behave."

Hercules closed the door softly behind him and turned back to face the queen. "I'm, uh… I'm sorry for my reaction earlier. When you were talking about Iolaus. It was… rude of me. And I'm sorry for the way I've been acting since I got here, and for-" But Niobe held her hand up, stopping the torrent of words coming out of the demigod's mouth. "Sorry," he added again, sheepishly, then winced. "I've been told before that I apologize too much."

"You didn't go about it the right way," Niobe agreed, "but I think you were trying to mean well. You have a big heart."

Hercules took a deep breath and looked at the floor. "Yeah. I've been told that, too." He absently fingered the amulet hanging from his neck. "Niobe… Iolaus, he… he didn't really go into specifics when he got back from Marathon, but I could tell that he was upset. He was never very good at hiding things, he just didn't like to talk about… that. About those sort of feelings. Happy feelings, good feelings…. they were no problem, but… anyway." He shook his head. "I don't want you to think it was easy for him to leave."

"I don't," Niobe told him, quietly. "I did at first. I was angry, for a long time, but I realized that it had to be done. We were both trying to live a fantasy." Hercules thought that was probably more Niobe than Iolaus, but he wisely held is tongue and let Niobe continue. "Hercules, I don't want things to be this way between us. Iolaus, he meant something to me. He meant more to me than I think you know. And… you're his friend."

"I'm his family," Hercules stated, then realized it probably sounded ruder than he had intended. "That's just… how Iolaus and I have always acted. His family, well… frankly, they were terrible."

Niobe shook her head. "He never spoke about his family to me."

"It wasn't his favorite subject."

"He did speak about you, though," she said, eyes bright, looking up at him. "How much he cared for you. What the two of you did. I… blamed you as the reason for him not staying."

"I figured as much," Hercules said, making Niobe look surprised. "Like you said, I'm… perceptive." He walked over to where she stood by the hearth and leaned against the wall. "Look… whatever happened, happened. And now, Meg is in the middle. Iolaus cared for you, and… that means something to me. And Meg means something to me, too. You don't have to like me. I figured out a long time ago how to deal with not being everyone's favorite person." Niobe laughed at that, and Hercules smiled back. "Niobe, do you really want to live the lie? Can you really do this for another ten, twenty years? I'm not asking you to decide now, or make changes overnight. It's just… you say you loved Iolaus. Why would you want Meg to grow up knowing Orestes, and not him?"

"Do you really think that's what I want?" Niobe asked, incredulous. "What I wanted is for Iolaus to be here, with me, raising Meg."

"As Orestes and as Orestes' daughter!" He laughed roughly. "You can't have it both ways, Niobe."

She clenched her jaw and looked into the fire, and Hercules could tell she was trying to keep some semblance of decorum. "What would you have me do? Tell Amphion that Megara is my child with a man who pretended to be my husband? That everything I've told him for the last two years has been a lie? What am I supposed to tell the people of Attica, who thought their princess would carry on Orestes' and Oeneus' line?"

"I don't have those answers for you. But it's not right for Meg to grow up thinking that she's someone that she's not. Orestes is dead. Why give her memories of a false father who she will never know, when you can give her memories of a real one? A father who may not have been a king, but who was a hero. What better role model for a child can you have than that? She was born before you married Amphion. You have the right, as Queen, to name the heir of Attica. I'm not telling you she can't be a queen, I'm telling you that she has to know herself to do it. You don't have the right to deny her that!"

"I'm her mother. I have every right."

"This is just your way at getting back at him for leaving-"

"That is _not_ true!" Niobe interrupted angrily. "I care about Attica! It's always what I've cared about. I did my duty, I married Orestes, and now he's gone, and it's my responsibility to do what's right."

"You hated Orestes. And… Iolaus was his cousin, right? That makes Meg his cousin, too. By all rights, she has more claim to the throne than you think she does, without being Orestes' daughter. Minos is dead, Orestes is dead… She doesn't need to pretend to be someone else's child." He snorted derisively. "You're just trying to save face because you were screwing Iolaus instead of mourning your husband." He suddenly felt the sting of a hand connecting with his cheek and he blinked, stunned from the action rather than the actual slap. He figured he probably deserved it, but he was too incensed to admit it out loud.

Niobe glared at him for a few moments, as if daring him to say anything else, before turning and stalking to the other side of the room to glower out the window. Hercules stayed by the fire, cheek burning. He was very glad that Jason hadn't been here. They both stood silently, angry and brooding. If she was expecting an apology, Hercules decided she was going to be sorely disappointed.

After a few more beats, he heard Niobe say, softly, "She's not Iolaus, Hercules." He turned his head, but she was still staring out the window, not looking at him. "Having her is not going to bring him back."

"You don't need to tell me that. But, having her live a lie isn't going to make her less of Iolaus' daughter either." He glanced up at the ceiling, putting his hands on his hips. "He used to do the same thing, when he was younger. He ran away all the time, to get away from his father, and the rest of his family." Niobe still hadn't turned around. "I'm not saying that's why she's doing it, just… she's going to have Iolaus in her, Niobe, no matter what you do. I think that's really why you're doing this. Maybe everyone else doesn't need to know about Iolaus, but she does," Hercules insisted. "It's not fair to her."

"Why?" Niobe said, finally, turning back to him. "She's a child, she doesn't care who her father is."

"Not yet. But she will." At Niobe's silence, Hercules sighed in frustration. "What if Iolaus comes back tomorrow, huh? What if he comes back from the East? Am I just supposed to lie to him about it? They both deserve to know the truth. Iolaus isn't dead, Niobe. And one day he is going to come back. You can't ask me to look him in his eyes, to stand in front of him, and lie to his face. I won't do it."

"His coming back here would make things worse. He knew that before. That's why he died as Orestes, to keep the secret about how we had fooled everyone. How am I supposed to explain to the kings who signed that peace plan that the man they thought they were pledging their allegiance to was not the king?"

"Like I said, maybe they don't need to know. Just let me just tell you from experience that not knowing or not having your father leaves a hole inside you. Meg will grow up not really knowing who she is, and that in turn will make her a bad ruler. I had to learn to accept who my father was, and that I wasn't going to have a relationship with him the way I wanted as a child, to be the man that I am today. Meg deserves the same courtesy. She can figure out how she feels about it when she grows up. You can't make that decision for her." He walked over and gently put his hands on her shoulders. "This will eat at you, Niobe. You may think you'll be okay with it now, but if you let this happen… it will destroy you, and Meg, and you're relationship. That's not something that I think you want."

Niobe swallowed, obviously fighting for some control over her emotions. "You don't understand how difficult this is going to be. Amphion could fight me on Meg's succession, or try to end the marriage-"

"I seriously doubt," Hercules said, sardonically, "that Amphion would be willing to stop being a king and go back to Kyros to be a lord. Somehow, I just don't see it." He looked her over and then tilted her chin up, forcing her to look at him. "Are you afraid of him? Does he… does he do anything to you?"

Niobe quickly shook her head. "No, nothing like that."

Hercules nodded firmly. "Good. Because, if so, I was going to have to go down and mop the floor with him, and I think that Jason would have just been a little upset by that." Niobe smiled in spite of herself. "You don't have to do this alone. I'm here. Let me help." She took a few deep breaths, and Hercules could tell she was wrestling with this decision, and probably had been for a long time. Hercules found himself feeling sorry for her. She had made a hard decision whilst being pregnant and, for all intents and purposes, alone. He couldn't, and shouldn't, be judging her for that.

"If I tell her, and Amphion," she said, finally, her brown eyes suddenly hard, "you can't tell Iolaus."

The moment of sympathy immediately evaporated. Hercules blinked, wide-eyed, and for a moment it was like he had forgotten how to form a coherent sentence. "You're insane," he finally blurted. "You can't ask me to do that! He's her father! I'm his best friend." The very idea was like something slimy and unnatural, and he backed away from her as if that would somehow erase what he had heard. "I won't lie to him."

"I'm not asking you to lie. I'm asking you not to write to him and tell him to come back here." She took a step forward, closing the space between them. "Hercules, please… The peace plan could fall apart because of this. When Xenon agreed the others followed suit, but that was because they thought they were speaking to Orestes."

Hercules shot her a look of deep dislike. "I am getting really tired of that excuse. The peace plan is a good idea, and it's served all the kingdoms well the last five years. They would be crazy to go back on it now just because the man they negotiated with was Orestes' cousin and not Orestes."

Niobe smiled wistfully. "I can see that you don't have a lot of practice in politics."

Hercules ignored that, not wanting to even deign it with a response. _Stupid, elitist idiots._ "I won't," he said instead, shaking his head. "I won't agree to that. He's my brother." He slapped his hand against the wall, furious. "You can't ask me to do that! If our situations were reversed… if it was him here, instead of me, he'd tell you to kiss his ass and he'd come find me anyway."

"It's better this way," Niobe insisted. "Iolaus didn't want to stay. He _couldn't_ stay," she amended, at the infuriated look Hercules threw at her. "I couldn't put this burden on him. It would have ruined his life, and the life that he had with you. And if he needs to heal, like you and Jason say he does, he doesn't need some messenger from Greece to tell him to come home and deal with this." She put a hand on his shoulder, and he had to resist flinching at her touch he was so angry. "Is he in a position to be a father right now, Hercules? Tell me the truth."

Hercules' pressed his lips into a thin line, his jaw working furiously. He thought back to how Iolaus had been acting up until that day in the barn when they had had it out and he had left. How distant he had been, how strange he was acting. He thought about what his friend had said about remembering what Dahak had done, the memories invading his mind every night. How tired he had looked, how drawn and pale, and not like Iolaus at all, but some shade of him. How he was in so much pain, that he would rather leave Greece then have Hercules help him. He swallowed the bitter retort that had been working up, and forced himself to admit that Niobe was right, at least on the subject of Iolaus' state of mind. It made him want to vomit; even thinking that Iolaus wouldn't make a good parent right now was a betrayal of some kind. And he definitely didn't want to give Niobe the satisfaction of telling her he agreed. By the knowing look she was giving him, he figured he didn't have to. It just frustrated him even more.

He turned to her, his face an unreadable mask. "He will never forgive you." _He'll never forgive_ me.

She held her ground. "Hercules… I need your word on this."

"You're not going to get it," he said sharply. "Lying to Iolaus is out of the question. He's a part of me. It would be like ripping my own arm off."

"Then Meg will never know," Niobe said simply, acting as if the subject was closed.

Hercules swore, fighting the urge to break something. "You can't ask me to choose between Meg and Iolaus. One of them is just going to end up hurt!"

"Iolaus is _gone_ , Hercules! Meg is the one that's here. If you want me to tell her, and if you want some part of her life as Iolaus' friend, you _will_ agree. Iolaus cannot come back to Attica."

She was giving him an ultimatum. He had never felt such hatred and anger toward someone he barely even knew. Hercules began to wonder what Iolaus ever saw in this woman. _You picked a real winner, buddy._ She was selfish, and stubborn, and not at all like Anya or Nebula, who by their own rights were extremely different from each other. And Niobe was so different from Iolaus. Even if he had, by some insanity, stayed as Orestes it wouldn't have worked. There was no way Iolaus could have put up with this for long.

Hercules took a deep breath in through his nose, and the look he gave Niobe must have been frightening because she actually took a step back. He had to think of something. Giving her his word was completely unacceptable. _Find a loophole…_ She didn't want him to write to Iolaus, okay fine… he could do that. It wasn't going to stop him from getting on the next boat to Chin, even if he had to swim to Persia to do it. He just had to make sure that Niobe wouldn't expect him to do that. "Fine," he said, grimly. "You don't want me to write to him? Fine. I won't. And… for as long as he says out of Greece…" Hercules swallowed, the words tasting like something rotten in his mouth. "As long as he's not in Greece, I'll… keep your secret. But," he added, at Niobe's look of stunned hope, "as soon as he gets back here, Niobe… I can't make that promise. I will _not_ lie to Iolaus. You'll have to arrest me and have me executed first." And she must have been able to tell she meant it, because she paled slightly and nodded.

"All right," she agreed, shakily. "It's a start." She grabbed his hand. "Hercules… please believe this is something that's been weighing on me for so long. I just… didn't know what to do. I felt so alone. But, now that you're here…"

"What are you going to tell Amphion?" Hercules asked, really not wanting any of her thanks at the moment.

Niobe shook her head, at a loss. "I'm not sure yet. But… I suppose, he needs to know." She scowled. "He'll try to make Orion heir. I can't let that happen."

"If you didn't want your children with him to rule, why even bother?"

She fixed him with a cold stare. "We all have our duties to perform, Hercules."

With effort, Hercules bit back the retort he wanted to sling at her about how she should have thought of that while Orestes was still alive. But he knew it would just be pointless, and probably make her angry enough to go back on the whole deal. "Fair enough."

"Iolaus was a good king, while he was here. He would have made an excellent ruler." Hercules tried to repress a derisive laugh. "It's how I know Meg will be as well."

 _You don't know Iolaus as well as you think you do, lady._ Like Meg, Iolaus didn't like to spend too much time in the same place. He wondered how she would feel if he told her about how Iolaus was willing to give up his life with Hercules and stay in Sumeria, with Nebula. The thought gave him some small amount satisfaction, before he had to force himself to nod at her and play along. "However you decide to tell Amphion is your business. And it's also up to you if you decide to tell the people of Attica what Iolaus did for their kingdom. All I care about is Meg."

"I hope you don't think too unkindly of me Hercules," Niobe said, sadly, looking away.

Hercules forced himself to give her a polite smile. "I don't know you well enough to decide either way." He removed his hand from hers. "I'm going to go rescue Jason," he said, trying to find an excuse to leave. "I need to let him know what's going on."

"I already have Jason's word on this matter," Niobe said to his back. Hercules stiffened but didn't turn around.

 _She has to be lying. Jason would never…_ "Okay," he said, vaguely.

"Please, it was not my intention to come between you. Any of you," she added, meaning Iolaus as well as Jason. "It was really Jason who solidified me wanting to tell you. He said… you knew Iolaus better than anyone, and you'd be a good friend to have around."

"Niobe, I can kind of understand why you did what you did. You were scared. But I have to be honest with you… It's going to be a really long time before I can consider you a friend, and I don't think you're ignorant enough to not understand that." When she didn't respond, Hercules took that as agreement. "Meg has gotten attached to Arcas. I expect them to be seeing a lot more of each other." His tone of voice clearly said it was not a request.

Realizing she had probably pushed the demigod to his limits for one night, Niobe only nodded. "That would be nice."

"Good. We'll talk more tomorrow." He swiftly exited and shut the door behind him, leaning against it for support once he was alone. He rubbed his face with his hand, exhausted, and felt something wet. He pulled his hand back in astonishment, staring at it. He felt another tear roll down his cheek. He felt violated; she had gotten him so angry he was actually crying out of frustration. He pulled himself together and stalked down the corridor, intending to get Jason, when he rounded the corner and almost ran smack into him. "What the-? Jason? What are you doing?"

The former king jumped, looking guilty, and stepped away from the wall he had been casually leaning on. "What? Did you really think I was going to go down to that celebration? I was waiting for you." He looked Hercules up and down. "You look awful."

Hercules clenched his teeth and pointed a finger at him. "Don't. Just… come with me." He took Jason's arm and led him down the hall.

"What happened in there?"

"We… came to an agreement," Hercules muttered, darkly, and that was all he said on the subject until they got to Jason's room.

Once they were inside, Hercules bolted the door, making Jason's eyebrows go up in alarm. "Hercules, what-"

"Did you give Niobe your word that you would keep Meg from Iolaus?" he demanded, barely able to contain his fury.

Jason's eyes widened. "What the hell? No!"

"Then why would she say that?"

Jason set his jaw stubbornly and glared up at Hercules. "She asked me, and I didn't give it to her one way or the other. Iphicles and Amphion saved me from having to answer, because they ended the negotiations and came to find us."

"I think she took your silence as an affirmation." Some of the fight was going out of him, and he seemed to relax.

"That's not my problem." Jason began to relax as well, and folded his arms across his chest, examining Hercules from across the room. "So… I take it she asked you the same thing. Not very wise, on her part."

Hercules snorted in amusement. "Sorry, I just… I didn't believe it, but-"

Jason waved at him. "Forget about it." He tapped his foot impatiently. "Are you going to tell me what happened or am I going to have to guess?"

Hercules gave Jason all the details of his conversation with Niobe, including what she had said about not telling Iolaus. Jason whistled. "I can't believe she actually gave in and is going to tell Amphion and Meg the truth."

Hercules shrugged and shook his head. "I was at first, too, but… I really think she was looking for an excuse to finally get it off her chest. She was so nervous, and so were Hector and Linus, with me being here… It's almost like she wanted me to find out. She's been holding onto it for almost five years."

Jason tilted his head in small nod. "True. I was shocked when she admitted it to me as well. But, I think you're right." He stretched tiredly, walking over to grab the carafe of water that was sitting on the small table by the bed, and also an amphora of wine that Hercules assumed he must have had someone sneak up for him from the party downstairs. "I don't know about you," Jason said, pouring himself some wine and some water for Hercules, "but I will be very happy when we can leave this place in the dust." He handed Hercules the cup of water, but the demigod didn't take it.

"Actually, I could do with some wine," he said, making Jason stop short.

"You sure?" At Hercules' dark look, Jason shrugged. "All right." He dumped the water into the washing basin and refilled Hercules' cup with the red liquid. "Here you go."

"Thanks." He quickly drained it and handed the cup back to Jason, who tried to keep the look of surprise off his face. Wisely, he didn't comment and just refilled Hercules' cup. Hercules took a sip this time and sat down hard in one of the armchairs. "Can we go home now?"

Jason grunted. "Trust me, as soon as Iphicles signs that thing tomorrow, we're out of here." He gave Hercules a pitying look. "You know you're going to have to come back here if you want Meg and Arcas to see each other. There's no way in hell Niobe's going to let you take that girl to Corinth."

"Yeah, I know." He didn't sound happy. "I'll… worry about that later."

"You're really not going to tell Iolaus?" When Hercules didn't answer, Jason knocked his wine back as well and sat down next to him. "I find that a little hard to believe."

"I'll figure it out, Jason. Don't worry."

That didn't do anything to reassure him. "Yeah, I've heard that before."

* * *

The next morning came swiftly, and Hercules and Arcas were packing up their belongings when Jason came striding into the room, looking stressed.

"I think it would be a good idea for you to avoid Amphion this morning," he said.

Hercules looked over at him, his brow furrowing. "Why's that?"

"Niobe told him about Meg last night," Jason explained, "and he was even more of an annoying son of a bitch this morning." He winced at Hercules' expression and glanced down at Arcas. "Sorry. And I think he thinks you had something to do with it, I don't know. So just… try and stay out of his way."

"Great," Hercules sighed. "How's Niobe?"

Jason shrugged. "She wasn't there."

That gave Hercules pause and he tried not to worry. Niobe had told him Amphion had never done anything to hurt her, but the way he had gotten when Meg had run away bothered him.

As if reading the demigod's mind, Jason said, "I went and checked on her, so don't worry. She's just… tired. They were up all night over it. Apparently he threatened to expose her and try and take away Meg's right of ascension but Niobe was smart enough to have had Hector give her some scrolls on Attica's bylaws. He can't do anything about Meg being the heir, since Iolaus was Orestes' family and there is no one left."

"That's… good I guess." _And Niobe gets what she wants._

"And there was no way that pompous ass was going to turn in his crown, so…" Jason waved enigmatically. "He's still king. A insanely pissed off king, but still."

"So everybody wins except Iolaus," Hercules muttered, stuffing some clothes roughly into his pack. "How nice."

"Did you hear, did you hear, Jason?" Arcas came bounding over. "Meg's really Uncle Iolaus' daughter and I get to stay friends with her! Dad says I can come back whenever I want!"

"Not whenever you want," Hercules corrected. "It still has to be okay with Queen Niobe." He glanced over at Jason. "Do you know if they told Meg."

Jason shook his head. "Not sure. I think that's a little tough to explain to a four-year old."

Hercules couldn't argue with that. "Come on, Arcas, get your things. It's time to go home."

They made their way through the halls, the attendant stationed to them leading them down to the front courtyard where their carriages were waiting. Luckily, Amphion was nowhere in sight, but Hector, Linus, Niobe, and Meg were all waiting to bid them goodbye, and Iphicles had already boarded the first carriage. Arcas ran ahead of them to Meg, the adults trailing behind.

Meg grinned and enveloped Arcas in a hug, almost knocking him off his feet. "Bye, Arcas!" She then turned and hugged Hercules' leg as he came over. "You need to come back soon!"

Hercules lifted an eyebrow at Niobe. "I'm going to try," he said to Meg, ruffling her hair and upsetting the band around her head. He tried to wordlessly ask the queen if Meg knew what was going on. Niobe shook her head.

"I thought that was something you'd maybe like to be here for," she told him, making his eyes widen in surprise. He figured it was her way of proposing a truce. _Fat chance,_ he thought, wryly, but jumped at the opportunity to tell Meg about Iolaus. "Meg," Niobe said, taking her hand, "Hercules and I have something we need to talk to you about."

Hercules glanced over at Jason, who nodded in understanding and put a hand on Arcas' shoulder, indicating he would keep an eye on him. Hercules gave him a grateful smile and then followed Niobe and Meg to the garden.

They sat down on a stone bench with Meg in between them, her feet dangling off the ground as they tried to explain the situation. "Orestes was a good king," Niobe was saying, "and his cousin Iolaus had to take his place when something very bad happened to him."

"When he died?" Meg asked, and Niobe nodded.

"They looked exactly the same, so we were able to trick everyone. Meg… Iolaus and I loved each other very much. And, that was why we made you. Hercules is Iolaus' friend. He came here to tell you about him."

Meg looked back and forth between her mother and Hercules. "So, the king wasn't my daddy?"

Niobe looked upset, so Hercules moved Meg into his lap and said to her, "No, sweetie. My friend Iolaus is."

"So," Meg said, slowly, "does that mean I'm not a princess?" She looked hopefully over at her mother.

"No, Meg. You're still a princess," Niobe said, firmly.

Hercules thought Meg looked extremely unhappy with that piece of information. "But," he added, trying to pacify her, "this means that I get to spend more time with you. And you get to spend more time with Arcas."

That seemed to cheer Meg up immensely. "Good. I like you." She hopped off Hercules' lap. "So, where's my dad? Arcas said he was on vacation."

"Arcas told you Iolaus was on vacation?" Hercules blinked.

"Yeah," Meg said, "he told me about you going on adventures and camping, and Arcas said he took a vacation from camping."

Hercules covered his mouth and tried not to laugh. Niobe was looking at her daughter askance. "He's not on vacation," Hercules managed to get out.

"Then why did he go away?"

Hercules immediately sobered. "Uh," he started, clearing his throat, "something happened a few years ago, and it made him very… sad. He went away to get better."

"When's he coming back?" Meg asked, blinking up at him.

He felt Niobe give his hand a squeeze, and he was actually grateful for the little bit of comfort it gave him. "I don't know," he admitted. "But, like I said, you have me and Arcas, and your mom, Hector, and Linus."

"And Amphion," Niobe added, getting a disgusted look from Meg. "And your brother and sister."

Hercules had a feeling Meg couldn't have cared less about Amphion, Orion, or Ariana. _She must already feel like an outsider. She knew Amphion wasn't her father, and they definitely don't have the same relationship as he'll have with his children._

"When can I see you again?" Meg asked Hercules, leaning against his leg.

"That's up to your mom." Hercules looked over at Niobe, but when no answer seemed to be forthcoming, he stood up, picking Meg up as he did so, and gave her a little tap on the nose. "But… I have a feeling I'll be seeing you again soon."

Hercules said goodbye to Hector and Linus, grasping each of their arms in turn, and then climbed into the carriage with Jason and Arcas. Arcas waved enthusiastically out the window as they drove away, heading back to Corinth.

"Well, that was fun," Jason said, sarcastically. "Gods… I have to get to the Academy as soon as we get back."

"Mmm," Hercules said, staring out the window as they went. "I was hoping you could stick around the house for a bit."

Jason must have sensed something in his voice, because he put his head in his hands and groaned, "What now?"

Hercules pursed his lips. "I was thinking about taking a trip." At Jason's expectant look, he shook his head, nodding at Arcas. "Not now. When we get back to the house."

"Oh, joy," Jason sighed, but made no other comment.

The two day trip seemed longer this time, probably because Hercules was anxious to get home. They stopped in Corinth and gave Iphicles an abridged version of what had went down the night before, and Hercules tried to fend off the torrent of questions and annoyed lectures from Iphicles about how he could have ruined the entire proceeding. Needless to say, his brother was not pleased with him when he, Jason, and Arcas left to go back to the house.

"He is really pissed off at you," Jason said as they arrived. Hercules shrugged, unperturbed.

"He'll get over it. See if you can scare us up some dinner and I'll start unloading," he said, indicating the carriage.

It wasn't until they had unpacked, eaten, and Hercules had given Arcas a bath and gotten him into bed that he finally came to find Jason. "Are you going to tell me just what in the hell you meant the other day?" the former king asked from the living room. Hercules picked up an apple out of the small basket of fruit one of the farm aides had left for them on the table and tossed it in the air jovially. This only seemed to make Jason more unnerved.

"I've decided," Hercules said between throws, "to go to Chin."

Jason crossed his arms slowly, affecting the air that he was not bothered at all by this statement. "Oh?"

"Yep. I need you to watch Arcas for me."

Jason followed the apple as it went up and down. "Correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't you tell Niobe that as long as Iolaus wasn't in Greece you weren't going to tell him anything?"

"That's right," Hercules answered, calmly. "As long as _Iolaus_ wasn't in Greece. I didn't say anything about me." He snatched the apple out of the air, looking extremely pleased with himself.

"Hercules, I don't think that's such a great idea. Just write to him instead."

Hercules shook his head. "No. I said I wouldn't. And this isn't something he needs to read in a scroll. I need to go tell him."

"If you go to Chin," Jason said, trying to sound reasonable, "and he sees you, he's just going to think that you're there to take him home, and I guarantee he is not going to listen to anything you have to say."

"I have to try, Jason." Hercules stared silently and sullenly down the hall, toward his and Arcas' room. "Do you remember how it felt when Lilith told you about Seska? All those years that you could have had with her?"

Jason made an aggravated noise and waved him off. "This is not the same situation. Lilith is an Amazon. That's their way."

"It didn't hurt you any less."

"I'm not telling you not to tell him for twenty damned years, Hercules. I'm just saying… not to go gallivanting off to Chin. Not right now, anyway. Iolaus is not in a position to hear this." Hercules stared at him in disbelief. "You know I'm right."

"You want me to keep this from him, too?"

"That is _not_ what I said."

Hercules shook his head and looked away. "Don't do this to me, Jason. I need you on my side."

"I am on your side. You need to just think about it some more, all right?"

"Jason, this is not the time for you to play devil's advocate!" Hercules shouted, throwing the apple across the room. "How you can even defend Niobe to me is unreal."

"Who in the gods' names said anything about defending her?" Jason looked outraged. "I'm agreeing with you! Just because I don't want you to pack off and take the next boat out of here does not mean I agree with her whatsoever."

Hercules felt the urge to pound something into dust coming up, and he tried to push it back down. "I don't like her."

Jason folded his arms and said, deadpan, "I had absolutely no idea."

"She's a selfish bitch."

Jason rolled his eyes, although he didn't outright disagree. "You're just mad about what she said about Iolaus."

"Yes. She wanted to keep him, like a thing. She wanted him to lie and pretend to be someone he's not, and that's exactly what she was going to do to Meg. And now she has the audacity to ask _me_ to lie to my best friend."

Jason paused, as if trying to summon up the courage to say something that he knew Hercules was not going to like. "Are you sure," he began, cautiously, "that this isn't a… Dahak thing?"

Hercules looked at him as if the question was so nonsensical that it was insane. " _What_? Dahak thing…? What are you talking about?"

"You know… everyone thinking Dahak was Iolaus. Niobe wanted everyone to think Iolaus was Orestes. And now you see this as your chance to, I dunno… make some of that better?"

Hercules sighed and banged his head against the wall a few times before resting his forehead on the cool stone and shutting his eyes tightly in extreme exasperation. "No, Jason… this has absolutely nothing to do with Dahak and everything to do with Iolaus and Meg." He shook his head, standing back up and folding his arms across his chest. "I can't keep this from him, Jason. It's like a poison. I can feel it. I would rather die." He narrowed his eyes and nodded firmly. "I would rather die," he repeated, emphatically.

"That," Jason said, shortly, "is not going to help anybody, and is just about the last thing I need." The older man huffed and waved his hand at him impatiently. "Fine. Go. Go to Chin, do what you want." He sighed, defeated, and leaned against the door post. "Go on. I'll take care of Arcas."

Hercules squeezed Jason shoulder. "Thank you, Jason." He started to walk away, but Jason put a hand on his chest to stop him.

"Hercules, if he doesn't want to come home, even after you tell him this… you have to let him be."

Hercules didn't respond to that. "I'll leave in the next few days. I'm sure Iphicles can help me arrange a transport."

"Hercules…"

"I heard you, Jason. I just don't think Iolaus would do that."

Jason sighed, looking out into the cool, night air. "I hope you're right."

* * *

 _*Whew. Long chapter. Getting to the good stuff. Up next, Hercules goes to Chin!*_


	6. Chapter Six

**Chapter Six**

 **Now**

"Look, this is _not_ how I intended for this evening to go. And, I know it's a shock, but if you'll let me explain…"

Iolaus distantly registered that Hercules was speaking to him, but it sounded like it was coming from very far away, like he was under water. His mind was a jumble of confused thoughts, moving too rapidly for even him to comprehend, and before he knew what he was doing, he had sprung out of his seat like a panther.

 _Meg… daughter… Niobe… Hercules… He knew. He knew this whole time…No. No, he wouldn't. He wouldn't have done that to me. Not to me._ _This is NOT happening._ He realized, suddenly, that he was saying these things out loud in the language of Chin, and tried to regain control. He hadn't slipped up like this in years, not since he had gotten to India, and they had given him that weird potion that had enabled him to go spirit walking.

Iolaus finally stopped, forcing his mind to go blank. He had to ask the question. His mind recoiled from it, because it would mean the unthinkable, but he had to know. He could hear Hercules still talking to him, trying to get him to calm down, and suddenly there was an enraged fire from somewhere deep inside him that Iolaus thought he had snuffed out a long time ago. He whirled on Hercules, fists clenched, and forced himself to focus just enough to make sure he was at least speaking the correct language. "How long?" he managed to get out, the Greek sounding strange in his ears.

To add to his already mounting infuriation, Hercules tried to act innocent. "I don't-" the demigod began, but Iolaus cut him off. "Don't do that! It's insulting, to both of us! _How long_ did you know about this, Hercules?"

When he received no response, he took an involuntary step toward him. Hercules pushed his seat back in alarm, and Iolaus tried once again to maintain the very feeble grip he still had on his control.

"Iolaus, if you'll just-" Hercules started again, trying to placate him, but Iolaus had had enough of Hercules' stalling. _It's just like before, he hasn't changed at all…_

"Answer me!" he bellowed at him, his fists clenched, and Hercules swallowed nervously. Iolaus refused to take his eyes off him, and Hercules was finally forced to admit he was backed into a corner.

The demigod took a deep breath, and Iolaus knew, just by the look in Hercules' eyes, that he was not going to like what he was about to hear.

"About a year after you left," Hercules said softly, and Iolaus felt the entire world break apart and crash down around him in tiny bits and pieces.

He suddenly felt like he no longer knew how to speak, or walk, or do anything useful. The words were echoing in his head, and he grabbed it with both his hands, trying to block it out. _I did not hear that, it's not happening._ There was a rushing sound in his ears and he thought for an insane moment that he'd gone blind, but he realized it was only because he was squeezing his eyes shut. He blinked them open and vaguely saw Hercules' mouth moving. It looked like he was asking if Iolaus was okay.

 _Am I okay?_ Iolaus thought, scornfully. _Am I OKAY?_ "How could you?" he whispered when he finally remembered how to speak again. Hercules was looking at him strangely, so he raised his voice, "How could you do this to me?"

Hercules' expression was that of immense pain. He shook his head, standing up. "Iolaus, I-"

" _How could you do this to me?_ " It was like a knife in his gut that just wouldn't stop twisting. Hercules tried to grab his arm, but he dodged him, walking around to the opposite side of the table.

"Iolaus, please! I can explain. I can. It's-"

"You haven't changed at all!" Iolaus shouted, making Hercules stop in his tracks. "This is… this… I can't believe this. I can't _believe_ you would do this to me." To his utter astonishment, Hercules looked like he was getting angry.

" _I_ couldn't do this to _you_? You've been gone for twenty years, Iolaus! I never thought you could do that to _me_!"

Iolaus gaped at him. "Don't you dare try and make this about you!"

"I'm not making it about me! But you need to let me explain!"

"Explain _what_? Explain to me that my best friend has kept such a huge thing from me for… for…" Iolaus felt dizzy, and he shook his head as if trying to push the offending thought away.

"Iolaus, I _tried_! I tried to find you, I did-"

" _Please!_ " Iolaus scoffed. "You obviously didn't try hard _enough_!"

Hercules blinked, the words hitting him like a slap in the face. He wanted to tell him about how he had gone to Chin, that they wouldn't let him see him, but a sudden righteous anger made the words stick in his throat. He pointed at Iolaus accusingly. "You've been gone for two decades, Iolaus! What the hell was I supposed to do?"

"Oh, so this is _my_ fault now?" Iolaus snorted in disbelief. "Of course it is. This is so typical of you, Hercules, it's so _typical_."

"Niobe made me give my word."

That only seemed to make things worse. Iolaus stared at him, dumbfounded. "Niobe made you? _Niobe?!_ So, your word to her is more important than me?"

" _No_!" Hercules shouted, grabbing his hair in frustration. "Gods, Iolaus, do you know how hard it was for me to convince her to even let Meg know who you were? She was trying to pass her of as Orestes'!"

"That's…" Iolaus trailed off, the roaring in his ears dying down long enough to focus on what Hercules was saying. "Well! That just…That… makes some sense." _Dammit._ Most of his anger seemingly spent, he sunk back into one of the kitchen chairs and let his head thud on the table. That _would_ make sense. No one was supposed to have known he switched places with his cousin. _My cousin…_ He glanced up at Hercules, eyes narrowed. "Wait… Are you sure she's not-?"

"They never… well…" Hercules gestured vaguely. "Niobe and Orestes they didn't do… _that_."

"Oh," was all about Iolaus could get out. Then he shook his head, trying to make sense of it all, and got up and started pacing again. "She told you that? But- but- but… Niobe and I, we only had the one… night…" He sighed deeply and tried to ignore the smug look Hercules was giving him.

"Well, that must be one of the perks of _not_ being a half god," Hercules said, dryly.

"That's not funny."

"No, it's not. Look… I found out by accident. I had to convince her to tell Meg the truth, to even let me see her. You weren't here, it wasn't right. Meg deserved to know the truth."

"But I didn't?" Iolaus spat.

"It's… complicated." Hercules shook his head and took a tentative step toward Iolaus. To Hercules' relief, he didn't try to get away from him this time. "I did try to find you. But… you told me not to…"

Iolaus fixed him with a glare that would have made Ares shiver. "I meant I didn't want you to come and try and bring me home. This is different."

"I know that!"

"There is nothing you can say to me that is going to make this okay!"

"Iolaus you were _gone for two decades_! I made the best of a really bad situation. You were the one that wasn't here!"

"I wasn't ready to come home, Hercules!" He shifted away from the demigod again. "And now… I really wish I hadn't." He could tell the words stung, but he didn't care. "You know what… you _have_ changed. Because my Hercules… he would never do this to me. Not for a _second_."

"I said it's complicated," Hercules growled. "And I never wanted to keep Meg from you. That was the point. But Niobe-"

Iolaus threw him a look of utter disgust. "Oh, _Niobe_ … Please, Hercules. Since when have you let anyone, gods or royalty, tell you what you needed to do?"

"It was either that, or she didn't get to know you at all. Or me, or Arcas. Niobe asked you to live a lie once – to pretend to be Orestes, forever, didn't she?" Iolaus didn't answer. "That's what she was trying to do with Meg. I couldn't let that happen!"

"You should have just left it alone," Iolaus said, sadly.

Hercules frowned at him, looking disturbed. "You don't mean that," he said, softly.

"Don't I?" Iolaus looked around the room, like a trapped animal. "I shouldn't have come back. This was a mistake."

" _Don't_ say that Iolaus. I handled it badly, okay?" He ignored Iolaus' sarcastic laugh. "But… you say you weren't ready to come home, and I didn't want to… to take you away from whatever it was you were doing."

"Don't even," Iolaus warned, but he was tired of fighting, and from the look on Hercules' face, he was, too.

"I really can explain everything. I know you're not going to like it, but-" Hercules and Iolaus both jumped and whirled as the door flew open and Arcas came barreling in, almost tripping over door frame in his rush.

"Okay, what's going on?" he demanded, looking back and forth between the two men.

Iolaus barely spared him a second glance. He no longer felt angry. He just felt… empty. "Were you _that_ angry with me, Hercules? Did you hate me so much that you would keep something like this from me?"

"Ah," Arcas said, quietly. "I see you told him." Hercules gave him a poignant look and ignored him.

"I could _never_ hate you, Iolaus," the demigod said quietly. "And I didn't want to keep it from you. I kept waiting for you to come home, but… you never did."

"So… that's it? 'You weren't here, Iolaus'? That's really your excuse?" Iolaus couldn't even comprehend what he was hearing. "You never came home, here's your kid?"

"I _told_ you, I tried to find you," Hercules said again, teeth clenched. "Will you just listen to me?"

"I can't even _look_ at you," Iolaus spat out, the very words choking him. "I… I need to go. I shouldn't have come here."

Arcas looked back and forth between his father and Iolaus. He felt like he ought to do something, say something. "Iolaus," he started, but the blond held his hand up.

"Don't! I really don't need it from you right now," he snapped.

"Look, you couldn't have come back to Attica anyway, because Orestes was supposed to be dead. If you came back, it would have messed a lot of stuff up," Arcas said in a rush. "I was there, and I remember that Dad had to fight her tooth and nail to even get her to admit you were Meg's father. She kept using that stupid peace plan as an excuse."

Iolaus really didn't want to hear this. He didn't want to hear any explanations, any excuses, and he really didn't want to hear any more about how Niobe had somehow gotten his best friend to agree to keep such a huge thing from him. He ran his hands over his face and then through his hair, turning in a slow circle in the middle of the room.

This was just too much to process. He felt sick, tired, weak, and most of all, betrayed. He knew he had been away too long, he _knew_ he should have come back ages ago, and he knew that things were going to be different. But _this…_

"I have to go," he mumbled.

Hercules stepped forward and grabbed his arm like he was a drowning man. "No, you can't leave-"

Iolaus roughly yanked his arm out of Hercules' grip, growling in irritation. "I'm not leaving, dammit! I'm going to go sleep in the barn. I just… I can't be around you right now."

"Iolaus-"

"I need a minute! Okay? Just… let me have some space." He backed up out of the room and walked out the door Arcas had left open in his mad rush to get in the house.

Hercules sank back into his chair, his head in his hands. _That could have gone better._ He felt Arcas' eyes on him, and looked up to see his son giving him a sideways look. "What?" he growled, not in the mood.

"Why didn't you tell him about Chin?" Arcas asked, baffled. "He thinks you lied!"

"I don't know," Hercules admitted, and it was true. He didn't know why he had held on to that piece of information. "I don't know, okay?"

"Well… you need to figure it out!" Arcas pointed out to the barn. "Dad… this is not helping whatever issues you two have got."

"He doesn't want to talk to me right now."

"Yeah, no shit!" He sat down across the table, making Hercules look at him. "You knew this was going to be bad."

"I didn't think it was going to be _this_ bad," Hercules said.

"Really?" Arcas asked, perplexed. "I did. I'm actually surprised it wasn't worse. At least he's in the barn. That's a good sign, right?" Hercules muttered something incoherently that Arcas didn't catch. "Uh… look, I don't know the man, so I don't know if it's a good sign or not. But… he didn't leave. And he didn't kill you," Arcas, added helpfully.

Hercules sighed, resting his elbow on the table and rubbing the bridge of his nose. "Just… let him stew in there and calm down. I'll go try and talk to him again later."

"You'd better. I know... I know how you feel about him, what the two of you mean to one another."

"Hmmm, then maybe you shouldn't be threatening to kill him if he upsets me," Hercules muttered darkly.

Arcas shrugged indifferently. "That was nothing. He knew what I meant. Well, he did," he insisted at Hercules' dubious expression. "And whether you two like it or not, we're going to the Academy tomorrow morning, and I really don't want to have to pry your fingers off each other's throats the whole time. You can't let him think you did this to him on purpose."

 _The fact that he would even think that is unbelievable_ , Hercules thought, but kept it to himself. He had changed, and so had Iolaus. They had both experienced different lives, different things. "I'll go talk to him in a little bit. He needs to…" Hercules waved his hand. "I dunno what he needs to do, but it's just not a good idea right now."

"Fine. But, he needs to know everything. And I mean everything. You need to tell him how you feel."

Hercules stared out at nothing, exhausted. He felt terrible, like he'd ripped his own heart out. The look on Iolaus' face when he'd told him… it would haunt him forever. He'd been waiting for years for Iolaus to come home, and now he was here and they were right back where they started twenty years ago. The thought made him feel hollow and cold.

Arcas was still staring at him, looking concerned. "Arcas, I'll deal with it," he said, firmly, as his son opened his mouth to argue. "I will. Just… you need to back off and let us handle it."

The younger man looked like he really wanted to press the issue, but he finally nodded solemnly. "All right. But enough screwing around. Tell him what happened. He needs to know what they told you in Chin."

* * *

 **Then – Hercules**

"Please, I don't want you to go."

Arcas was hanging onto Hercules' pant leg as the demigod traipsed across the yard and into the stables. "Arcas, come on. We went over this. It's important. Now, let me go so I can saddle Arturos."

Hercules had waited a week, at Jason's insistence, but he couldn't sit around any longer. He had sent a message to Iphicles, asking if there were any transports heading out of Corinth to the East. He really didn't want to have to go the long way, as Iolaus had, through Thrace and Persia. It was just a little too close to Sumeria for his liking. There wasn't going to be one for some time, so he had opted for a ship from Athens to Cairo, and then from there he could catch another ship that would take him closer to the Eastern lands.

"But why? What's so important?" Arcas demanded as Hercules laid the riding blankets across the horse's back. "Why do you have to go so far away?"

He hadn't told Arcas he was going to the East to find Iolaus. The boy would never be able to keep that a secret. He had just told him someone needed his help and he had to take a ship to get there. "Because, Arcas… it's part of my job. You're going to stay with Jason, and he'll take you to the Academy. Unless you want to stay with Nemesis and Evander?" He hadn't felt right about asking Nemesis to watch Arcas for such a long period of time. It was going to take over a month to get to Chin at least, and he had no idea how long it was going to take him to find Iolaus once he got there. He had thought the decision to leave and find his friend was going to be easy, but he had struggled for a time with leaving Arcas for so long.

"No, I don't want them, and I don't want Jason. I want you!" Arcas wailed, throwing himself on his father's leg again.

Hercules tried to push his guilt for leaving him aside and knelt down so he could look at him. "Arcas, everything is going to be okay. I've left before, and I've always come back, right?" Arcas nodded. "Then what's the matter?"

"I just don't want you to go. You said you weren't going to leave so much anymore."

"I know. I know I said that but… this is different. It's something I have to do. I wouldn't leave you if it wasn't very important." Arcas was staring at him, and Hercules narrowed his eyes. "Arcas. What are you doing?"

His son quickly averted his gaze. "Nothing."

"You're not going to get anything from me," Hercules admonished him. "So stop trying." He grabbed a saddle and bridle and lead the horse out into the yard where there was more sun. He gave the bridle to Arcas to hold onto while he adjusted the cinch on the saddle. "I need you to promise to be on your best behavior for Jason," he said, checking to make sure everything was in place. "And Tabor, too, if Jason needs you to stay with him for any reason. Okay?"

Arcas didn't answer and just handed the bridle back to him. Hercules glanced down to see him staring sullenly into the ground. "Arcas… it would mean a lot if you could do this for me."

"When are you coming home?" the boy mumbled, wiping his nose on his arm.

"As soon as I can. I promise." Hercules picked Arcas up and pressed him into him, hugging him tightly. Arcas wound his hands in Hercules' hair, unwilling to let go.

"Don't go, Dad." His voice was muffled against Hercules' shoulder.

"I have to. I'll be back soon. Come on, here's Jason." He put Arcas down as the former king walked over, carrying Hercules' sack and another smaller pack.

"Some rations, because who knows the next time you'll have a decent meal," Jason explained, tying them to Arturos.

"Thanks, Jason." He cleared his throat gruffly, putting a hand on his friend's shoulder. "Take care of him, okay?"

Jason nodded, putting an arm around Arcas and drawing him close. "We'll be fine. Won't we?" Arcas blinked up at Hercules, his eyes shining. Hercules bent down to give him one last hug, and then clasped arms with Jason before swinging up onto the horse.

"Be safe," Jason said to him, and Hercules nodded, glancing once more down at Arcas, who was biting his lip and staring straight ahead.

"I'll be back soon," he said again, before giving the horse a little kick and riding away from the house. He didn't look back as he went, not wanting to see the expression on Arcas' face. He was making it a lot harder than he needed to, he knew that. _Just go to the East. Go find Iolaus, and then you can come home._

* * *

If he thought the ride from Athens to Cairo was long and tiresome, it was nothing compared to the grueling weeks he spent on the Egyptian trade ship to India he'd managed to hitch a ride on. Hercules had been on longer journeys… the trip from Sumeria to Eire alone had cost him months at sea, but at that particular moment in his life he hadn't really cared too much about how much time he spent on the water. He was more concerned with finding a way to forget about his pain, or die trying.

The Egyptians were friendly enough. He mentioned he knew Princess Anakit, which was one of the only reasons he'd managed to get the captain to let him on board. He didn't speak Egyptian and most of the merchants only knew enough Greek to get them decent trade prices, so it made for an interesting, yet lonely, trip.

Hercules spent most of his time trying to figure out what he was going to say to Iolaus. Jason was right; his friend was probably going to see him and automatically assume he was there for the wrong reasons. He was going to have to come up with a way to get Iolaus alone, somewhere he couldn't run off, and make him hear him out. He also told himself he was not going to make Iolaus return with him if he wasn't ready. Whether or not that actually happened… _No_ , he thought to himself, forcefully. _This is his decision. You can't get involved… again._

He helped out around the ship, the sailors grateful for his experience. He got the occasional ask to spar or to his horror, arm wrestle, but he declined by feigning exhaustion, and other times just flatly refusing out of annoyance. Once they had seen him move one of the large pallets of wine barrels by himself, they wisely backed off.

Upon arriving in India, Hercules had sent a message back to Corinth to let Jason know he had made it, and opted for the land caravan route to Chin. He vaguely recalled Iolaus saying something about wanting to journey to India, like Xena and Gabrielle had. He wondered sadly if he even knew they were dead.

He tried to take in all the sights and smells of the exotic country as they bumpily made their way along the trade road. It was colorful and very loud, like many of the Greek markets, but it seemed to just be a way of life for the people here. In all of his travels, he had not once gotten this far East. He wished he had come under different circumstances so he could have the opportunity to look around and take it all in. Most of all, he wished he could explore it with Iolaus.

It took over two weeks until the caravan finally arrived in Chin territory. After that, he was on his own, and it finally occurred to him that he really hadn't thought up a plan of action. He had brought Iolaus' scroll, which had been written on a different type of parchment than what they had in Greece. The ones there were either leather or papyrus, but this was thinner and lighter. He had tried to show it around to get some idea of the area that it had come from, but no one could understand what he was saying. He wasn't surprised, but it wasn't going to make things any easier. Oddly, some of the people he encountered in his wanderings spoke some Latin. Hercules didn't think that the previous Caesar had gotten this far, but he could be wrong. He had usually left Xena to deal with him, while they had been alive.

His Latin was extremely rusty, but he knew enough to try and convey that he was trying to find where the scroll had come from and that he was looking for a friend. To his dismay, it seemed that the parchment was just what they used in Chin, so that was not going to be of any help. Iolaus had told him some about what he had learned and where he had gone when he'd come to the East the first time, but not enough to be of any value. He had been pretty secretive about the whole thing, saying it was just something that wasn't discussed, as part of the teachings. There were a lot of temples and the lands of Chin were vast. It was going to be like searching for a needle in a haystack. He began heading northeast to what everyone kept referring to as the Wall, if he translated it correctly. Most people avoided him, or they just dismissed him entirely as a barbarian. At first he had found this offensive, but then had gotten a good look at himself in a mirror when he was walking through a market one day and could understand why. He needed a haircut and a shave, and probably a bath. He tried to inconspicuously sniff his tunic. _Yep… definitely need a bath._

He tried to remember the name of the master that Iolaus had studied with. It had been so long since they had discussed it, he honestly couldn't remember. _What a perfect time for your memory to start going._ He had a hazy recollection of Iolaus telling him the method he'd been studying was something called Chan. That finally started to get him some headway, and he was instructed on how to get to several different temples suited to those who wished to study, with the main temple being in the city of Chang'an under the tutelage of Li Er. The name Li sounded familiar, so he hedged his bets and headed for that one.

It took him three weeks to finally come to the city's massive stone walls, and Hercules had to keep himself from whistling in surprise and admiration. There were three gates that served as entrances facing him, the pathways lined with some of the tallest and most beautiful trees the demigod had ever seen. It was quite different than cities in Greece, which were easy accessible and only had walls surrounding the palace or town centers. From what he had seen of Chin so far, most of the larger cities were built with this sense of containment. He had also discovered that the cities were in provinces, much like the ones in Greece, but the territories were under the rule of different families as opposed to kings or queens, with the Emperor of Chin ruling over all.

Hercules passed through one of the three gates, making his way along the narrow and busy lanes, trying to absorb the things around him. _Well, Iolaus, you wanted to get away…_ The demigod couldn't get over the stark differences between Greece, and even Eire and Sumeria, and what he had seen in Chin and his brief stop in India. He could understand why Iolaus would be drawn to this place.

He followed the path down to a bridge over a large river, which connected him with the main marketplace in the center of town. He kept being jostled by travelers and peddlers trying to make their way in and out, and he'd already had at least a dozen chickens and fish shoved into his face by aggressive Chin tradesman before he had even made it a quarter of the way through. He tried to ask for directions to the Chan temple but either no one was paying him any attention or they just didn't care, they were so caught up with trying to haggle or outbid each other. He could barely hear himself think over all the commotion.

Pushing his way through as politely as possible, he finally caught sight of a stone building in the distance, far up on top of one of the cities rolling hills. It had a sweeping architecture of complex arches interlaced with different sized beams and pillars. Even from this distance he could tell it was enormous, and the way the fog surrounded it made it almost seem like it was floating. Due to its seclusion from the rest of the city, Hercules assumed that had to be the Chan temple, and he wasn't disappointed – he caught sight of several small figures in plain robes of white and dark red making their way up the long and narrow path. _Those have to be monks, or students._ Hefting his pack, Hercules set his jaw and followed, having to continually push more pedestrians out of the way as he did so.

The path was steep but not too strenuous, and it wasn't long before Hercules reached the top and came to rest in front of the temple's iron gates. He raised his eyebrows, surveying them. They looked like something you would see in a fortress as opposed to a temple. He could hear people inside. _I guess I just let myself in_. Bracing his hands, he slowly pushed one of the doors open just enough so that he could slip through and then tried to close it quietly behind him. He turned to face a large stone courtyard, which was lined with dozens of trees whose leaves had been cut in strange, oblong patterns. There was a reflective pool in the center and several of the robed monks were sitting by it, engrossed in conversation or reading scrolls, and seemed unperturbed by his presence. The stones and benches were pristine and shone as though they had just been polished, and Hercules felt that his very presence was somehow dirtying the place. He sniffed his vest again and made a face. _So much for first impressions_.

He tried to discreetly make his way down the courtyard and to the steps that lead into what he assumed was the main hall of the temple. He could feel eyes on him as he walked, but so far no one had gotten up to stop him. It was very quiet, and despite the peaceful appearance, it was making the demigod's hair stand on end. Usually when things were too quiet it just meant something large and dangerous was about to come flying out of thin air to knock him on his ass.

The main temple doors were smaller and more ornate, with bamboo and floral designs carved into the wood. It was painted the same maroon color as the monk's robes. Hercules took a wary glance around, and when again no one rose from their positions to stop him, he shrugged and went inside to find himself in a large and brightly painted antechamber. The walls were also the same maroon color, and painted with gold lettering that Hercules didn't recognized and assumed was the picture language of Chin. The ceiling was tall and vast, with more enormous pillars reaching up to meet it. They looked like they could go on forever.

The antechamber was empty, and Hercules began to get suspicious. Frowning, he crossed the expansive hall, his boots echoing on the stone, until he came to another door. This one lead into yet another courtyard, but it was sparse compared to the first one he had entered, and contained sand pits and what looked like training equipment. _So the place isn't so peace and love after all_ , Hercules mused. He gave it another quick glance and turned to head back into the antechamber only to find his way suddenly blocked by two men in black robes. He blinked and stepped back, startled. _Where did they come from?_

They stared at him. He stared back. "Uh… sorry to intrude," he said in Greek, and then wondered if maybe he should switch to Latin. "I'm looking for a friend of mine." Neither men responded, nor took their eyes off him. _Oookay._ "Uh, he's Greek, like me. Blond, about this tall," Hercules continued, holding a hand to his shoulder, then realized there probably weren't a lot of short blond guys in Chin and felt immediately silly. "His name is Iolaus."

The two Chin men glanced at each other out of the corner of their eyes. _Okay, now we're getting somewhere._ "I just need to talk to him," Hercules began, but barely got the last word out before he was swiftly grabbed and thrown bodily back through the doors and into the antechamber. He flew about thirty feet before landing roughly on the stone floor, the wind knocked out of him. "What the..?" He blinked and shook his head, trying to clear it. It was almost like getting knocked around by Ares. _Okay, small guys, but pack one hell of a punch._ He started to get up when he noticed two pairs of feet had somehow materialized next to him. _Oh, boy._ One of them placed a bare foot on the small of his back and pushed him hard back down onto the floor. Hercules gasped in shock. It was like someone had thrown a ship's anchor onto his back. To his astonishment, no matter how hard he used his considerable strength, he could not push himself off the floor.

"You are not welcome, Greek," the one who was not crushing him intoned, his accent making the words clipped and halting. Hercules tried to glance up at him but could only see about up to his knees. "You will leave now."

"Not… happening…" Hercules managed to grunt out before feeling one of them grab him by his belt with one hand and the back of his tunic with the other. _Uh, oh_. He was hoisted up and then thrown again, this time into one of the pillars, the force making his teeth clang together. He tasted blood and realized he must have bitten his tongue. His anger rising, he stood up, putting a hand to his mouth as he did so and felt something wet. "That hurt," he said, dryly as the two monks, if that's what they were, started circling him. "Look, I'm not here to fight. I just want to talk to my friend."

There was a sound like rushing wind, and the next thing Hercules knew he was flying backward in the air, through the temple doors, and out into the main courtyard. He rolled as he landed and just managed to barely avoid slamming his head against one of the stone benches. The maroon and white robed monks jumped up in alarm and scattered as the two black clad men came striding out after Hercules.

The demigod blinked, stunned, and tried to clear his head. Bracing himself on the bench that had almost knocked him unconscious, he slowly stood again, eyeing the two men warily. He had seen Iolaus do some pretty incredible things when he'd gotten back from the East – slowing his heart beat so he could stay under water for hours, like Hercules had done in Eire, for starters. But, nothing like this. Hercules' first assumption was that they were guards, semi-divine like himself, who possessed some kind of powers. _Or maybe it's this place. It gives them these abilities, like Illumination._ Whatever the reason, they had been very efficient at tossing him around as if he was nothing more than a rag doll, and seemed very determined to get rid of him. Which was all the more reason for Hercules to stay.

"Your friend is not here," one of them said in that same clipped Greek. He didn't know if it was the one who had thrown him into the courtyard or the one who had thrown him into the pillar. Hercules decided it probably didn't much matter. "Go now."

"Really? Is that why you suddenly got really interested in throwing me around when I said his name?" Hercules countered. He dusted off his pants and crossed his arms across his chest. "I'm not leaving until I get to talk to him. I'm not here to take him away. I just… really need to talk to him. It's important." He hesitated, and then added, "And I would really like it if you could not do… whatever you just did in there with the wind again."

The two men glanced at each other, and then back at Hercules. After what felt like an eternity of them scrutinizing him, the other man stated, "You will go now." And without another word, they both turned and started walking away.

Hercules gaped at their dismissal of him. Taking a step forward, he said, "I'm not leaving." They whipped their heads back around, and Hercules immediately stopped as that same invisible force he felt in the temple started to shove him back. He grunted and tried to push against it, his feet sliding backward on the polished stone, making him bump into the bench behind him.

"We do not wish to hurt the son of Zeus," one of the men said and Hercules felt the pressure lift. "But you cannot stay here."

Hercules gathered his footing and narrowed his eyes. "How do you know who I am?"

"A man is well known," the other man answered, obscurely. "A man fights for peace, yet finds no peace himself."

 _Oh, great. What did these guys do, take lessons in speaking from the Druids?_ "Uh… yeah, okay. I just… want to talk to Iolaus."

"Your friend is not here," they said again.

"Look, I'm not an idiot-"

"You are Greek," the one on the left said indifferently, as if the two things were interchangeable.

Hercules blinked a few times. _Ignoring that…_ "I know he's here. You wouldn't be trying to get rid of me otherwise. Now, I don't know what's going on here… If he told you to come get rid of me, or if you just like picking people up by their pants and throwing them around, whatever… But, I know Iolaus is here, and I am going to talk to him whether you like it or not."

They stared at him as if he was something of great interest they had found on the bottom of one of their feet but otherwise made no movement. Hercules decided he'd have better luck talking to a brick wall. He pressed his lips together and raised his hands in a placating manner. "Fine. You want to play this little game? Fine, I've got time." He sat down on the bench, his hands on his thighs, staring at them. "I'm not leaving."

The two men exchanged glances again, and Hercules was half convinced they were trying to decide what to send him flying into this time, when the one on the right said, "Then you will sit forever."

Hercules shrugged. "I'm a patient kind of guy."

The one on the left started muttering something to his companion, too fast and inaudible for Hercules to hear. The man on the right shrugged. "Let him do as he wishes. It does not matter."

"Master Li says he is to go," the other man insisted. They both looked at him again.

"He will," the first man said.

Hercules smiled slowly. "We'll see."

They ignored him, the one who had spoken nodding to his companion and then walking back into the temple, the conversation over. After a beat, the other black robed man followed, shutting the temple door and leaving Hercules sitting on the bench in front of the reflective pool. All the other monks had left as well. He was alone.

 _Well, that was interesting._ He was expecting more of a fight, and realized he was still tensed for one and tried to relax. He didn't care what those two monks or whatever they were said – Iolaus was here, and either he didn't want to see Hercules, or they didn't want Hercules seeing Iolaus. After they realized they weren't getting rid of him, they seemed content to just let him sit there. Hercules found that strange, but wasn't about to argue.

Judging by this interaction, his trip to Chin was summing up to be just as fun as when he went to the Norselands. He'd almost managed to bring about the Norse version of the Twilight then, and vaguely wondered if Chin had any gods, or at least any he should be worried about. Or, maybe they had heard of his reputation for patricide and getting the deities of other lands killed, and had wisely disappeared just in case. He wouldn't have blamed them.

Hercules pushed those thoughts away and sighed, crossing his arms and shifting his weight on the stone in an effort to get more comfortable. He had a feeling he was going to be here for a while.

* * *

Three days later, Hercules was still sitting. He felt a drop on his head and suppressed a groan. _Great. More rain._

True to his word, he had not moved from the spot the monks had left him in. The temple went about its business around him, and seemed content to just pretend he wasn't there. It seemed like this front courtyard was mainly used as a meeting space, and Hercules would occasionally hear what sounded like sparring from what he assumed was that training courtyard. His stomach made an angry rumble and he grimaced, trying to ignore it. As a demigod, he could last longer without food or sleep, and luckily one of the monks had taken pity on him earlier on and brought him a bucket of water from which he was able to drink. But he was starting to get tired, and hungry.

He felt the sensation of eyes on him and glanced up at one of the large windows on the east side of the courtyard. _And they're staring again. Fantastic._ Ever since the end of the first day when it became apparent that he was serious about sitting there for as long as it took, he would have an occasional audience of a middle-aged man, and sometimes a young woman. They would come off and on during the day and watch him for a time, and then leave, apparently having satisfied their curiosity that he was indeed still sitting there. This time it was the man. He was studying him the way a gardener would study a particularly stubborn weed. Hercules tried to ignore him.

The rain started pelting him harder now and he closed his eyes in abject frustration. He shifted positions and his back creaked in protest. He really wished he could just get up and stretch, but he had said he was going to sit there until they let him talk to Iolaus and that was stubbornly what he was going to do.

Hercules suddenly felt a strange tingling on his skin, like something in the atmosphere had shifted. It was the same feeling he usually associated with one of his godly siblings appearing. Tensing, he opened his eyes only to see the entire courtyard had been cleared save for the young woman he had seen sometimes watching him from the window. He glanced around, instantly suspicious, but everyone else seemed to have just vanished into thin air. The demigod tried not to let the startled uneasiness show on his face. Aside from gods, he had never seen this kind of display of power before.

The sky had turned gray and the rain was falling steadily now. The woman didn't seem to mind it as she crossed the courtyard to stand a few paces away from him. She was dressed in the maroon and white robes of the monks, instead of the black ones the men who had attacked him had worn, and had long, straight black hair that was pulled into a low ponytail behind her head.

"Hercules," she greeted him, bowing slightly. "I am Jiang Nu." Her voice was soft and almost childlike, and she spoke Greek fairly well. She cocked her head, and looked down on him with large, brown eyes and he realized she was waiting for him to say something. When he still sat there with his arms folded, one corner of her mouth came up in a small smile. "You can stand, if you would like."

"I said I was going to sit here until you let me talk to Iolaus," Hercules said, stiffly.

Jiang inclined her head. "I am afraid that will not be possible."

"So, you're not going to try and convince me that he's not here, like your friends." It was more of a statement than a question.

Since it was obvious that he wasn't going to get up, she came to sit next to him on the bench. "They are our guards. They were instructed to make you leave. Usually, they do not have such a hard time."

Hercules snorted. "Yeah, well… I'm a little different."

"Yes," she agreed. "Perhaps I can offer you something to eat?"

"Not until I see Iolaus."

She looked down, and Hercules thought she looked a bit sad. "Very well," she said, and rose again. She took two steps before curiosity got the better of him.

"Have you seen him? Can you at least tell me that he's all right?" Jiang stopped, but didn't turn around. Hercules finally rose, albeit slowly, his muscles stiff from staying in the same position for so long. "Please… just tell me he's okay."

She hesitated, and Hercules could tell she was wrestling with the decision. Finally, she turned back to face him. "He is… managing."

 _Managing? What is that supposed to mean?_ "Well, is he doing better?" the demigod demanded, out loud. "Does he know I'm here? Does he not want to see me?"

"Hercules," Jiang interrupted, putting a hand up, "why do you want to see Iolaus?"

"Does he know I'm here?" Hercules asked again, each word slow and deliberate.

"No."

Hercules let out a breath, as if a weight had been lifted off his chest. _Okay, so it's not that he doesn't want to see me._ "Why are you keeping me away from him?" When she didn't answer, he ran his hands through his hair and growled in frustration. "I'm not here to take him home! I just want to talk to him."

"He told you not to come."

"I know that! But… something's happened. Something important, and I _need_ to talk to him."

Jiang clasped her hands in front of her and tilted her head at him again. "Whatever you have to say to him, you can say to me."

Hercules pursed his lips. "I don't think so."

She spread her arms and bowed again, once more turning to leave.

Hercules shook his head incredulously and yelled after her, "I don't even know who you are!"

"I am Jiang Nu," she said simply.

Holding onto his patience with some effort, Hercules said, "No, I got that. I mean… I don't know you, or what you can do. Where did all the other people go?" He swept is arm around, indicating the courtyard.

"They are still here. They are on another plane, in order to give us some privacy."

Hercules didn't even begin to try and process that. "If you say so," he said, quietly. This was chalking up to be one of his more unusual trips.

"Iolaus speaks of you often," Jiang told him, making him stare in surprise. "Master Li does not always approve."

He thought of the way the two guards had tossed him around, and about the strange power they seemed to possess. "I hadn't noticed," he said, deadpan. She smiled, and Hercules was begrudgingly coming to the conclusion that he may be able to trust her. "You and Iolaus… you spend a lot of time together?"

"We learn," she said ambiguously. Hercules had a feeling that was all he was going to get out of her on the subject.

"I really do need to talk to him."

Jiang nodded. "Yes, you have said so many times. What is so important that the son of a god has left the people he protects and traveled so far to deliver a message to his friend?"

"It's… complicated," he said.

She regarded him for a few moments. "You can tell me what it is you wish to say, or you can continue to sit here until starvation takes you," she said, matter-of-factly.

"And if I tell you, will you deliver the message to Iolaus?" Hercules asked.

Jiang hesitated. "If Master Li decides it is something Iolaus needs to know, he will allow it."

Hercules snorted. "What, he controls everyone here? Controls their lives?"

"In a manner of speaking. He is the teacher. We are the students. It is not our place to decide what is right or wrong. We submit to his wisdom." She clasped her hands in front of her again. "As does Iolaus. He understood this before he arrived. It is why he came."

"To submit to Master Li's wisdom?" He tried to keep the sarcasm out of his voice and knew he was only partly succeeding.

"To heal," Jiang corrected, gently, and Hercules felt his rising anger suddenly dissipate again. "And to learn."

Hercules stood in the courtyard, not sure what to say to that. The rain was making little pattering noises on the stone. He pressed his lips together, trying to decide what to do. "Even if I tell you what I came here to say, you still may not tell him, is that right?" Jiang didn't answer and just stared at him, blankly. _This is ridiculous_. He could try and storm into the temple, but aside from the two men who had tried to get rid of him, this was a place of solitude and study, and he really didn't want to go proving their point about him being a Greek barbarian by crashing through the door, bellowing for his friend.

"I found out he has a daughter," he said, finally. "He doesn't know. Her mother… her mother is a queen and its… complicated. I'm not even supposed to be here, I'm not even supposed to be telling him, but… I couldn't not let him know. And, I didn't know if it would make a difference, with everything that was going on and everything he was going through. But, I had to… try."

Jiang took in this information and seemed to be thinking it over. Hercules stared at her expectantly.  
"Well? Will you tell him, please?"

"You think this information will help him in some way?" she asked.

He gave her a bemused look. "I don't know. I just thought he might like to know."

"Why?" She seemed genuinely curious, and Hercules blinked at her in bewilderment.

"Because he has a family now, what he's wanted since…" He waved his hand airily. "It's just something I know is important to him."

"Iolaus is..." Jiang began, and then sighed, squaring her shoulders as if about to deliver a piece of information she knew Hercules was not going to like. "Hercules… when we say your friend is not here, we mean the person you _knew_ as your friend is not here. Iolaus is… damaged, in a way that you cannot understand. The fact that he has a child is meaningless."

To say Hercules was taken aback by that would be an understatement. "That's not something I would consider to be _meaningless_."

"You must understand… Iolaus has no friends. He has no family. He cannot know his child until he knows himself. I know that you feel very strongly about this – the people you love have always been the source of your strength. That you have been touched by such things as having a family, having a..." She tilted her head, as if trying to decipher the demigod's emotions, like Arcas, "… a brother, in Iolaus, it is what guides you, gives you purpose. But you must accept that this is not the same for him."

"You don't know that, you won't even tell him!" Hercules yelled, exasperated. "You have no idea what drives him, or what's important to him!"

"It is our way. We leave all things behind. All there is is this place, and Chan. Letting go of you has been a constant source of struggle for him. This would only add to his distraction. And that is why we cannot allow him to know. He has just started to understand, Hercules. Would you deprive him of finding his peace?" Before he could give her the indignant answer he was coming up with, she added, "I know this is not what you wanted to hear. And you have demonstrated great patience and loyalty by staying here. Now I ask you to take everything that you feel for Iolaus inside of you, and go."

"You're really not going to tell him?" _She's as bad as Niobe. What_ is _it with everybody?_ He barked a laugh and looked at her as if she had gone insane. "You really expect me to just go?"

To his surprise, Jiang didn't argue. Instead, she merely looked around the temple courtyard, the rain sending drops of water rolling down her pale face. "This place is very beautiful, is it not? It holds many questions, and many answers. It also has its secrets." She fixed him with a look, and Hercules was worried for a moment that she had somehow read his mind earlier about breaking into the temple. "Go or stay, it makes no difference. But, I can assure you that while our conversation was quite pleasant, it may not go the same way for you with the others."

Hercules let those words hang in the air, contemplating them. "Is that a threat?"

Jiang Nu inclined her head to him once more. "I am very sorry you traveled all this way to face disappointment." She truly did sound apologetic, but Hercules had no time for it.

"This isn't fair," he said through clenched teeth. "Iolaus should know the truth. Why doesn't anyone seem to get that?"

"Perhaps you should ask yourself if you are doing this for Iolaus… or for yourself. Goodbye, Hercules." She bowed again, and in the next blink she was gone, the courtyard once again filled with maroon and white clad monks and students. Hercules whirled on the spot with a start. The people around him didn't even seem to notice he had just appeared out of thin air. Or that _they_ had appeared out of thin air. Hercules was extremely confused on that part. It also looked like the sky had suddenly cleared up. The rain was not falling as hard as before, and Hercules saw just the tiniest bit of sun trying to peak out from behind the clouds. _What just happened?_ he asked himself, troubled. He continued to look around, but Jiang Nu was nowhere in sight. He clenched his fists in fury. He was not going to let them do this. Iolaus had a right to decide for himself what he wanted to do. He stared down at the bench he'd been sitting on and debated using it as a battering ram against the temple doors, or just angrily smashing it into pieces and throwing it in the reflective pool. Judging by the way the monks had suddenly started giving him a wide berth, he figured neither would be the best idea at the moment, although it would certainly make him feel better.

He took a final look up at the east side window. The middle-aged man was back, watching him. Hercules gave him a tight smile before turning and walking toward the iron gate of the temple complex, attempting to affect the air that he had given up. Using all his strength, he roughly threw the doors open as if they weighed no more than a feather and stalked back out onto the path down the hill, already formulating a plan.

 _Okay,_ he thought, grimly. _That was round one._

* * *

Hercules came back that night under the cover of darkness. Jiang's words about the temple had perked his interest, and while he really did have no intention of storming the temple, he did want to find out what he was up against.

He crept up quietly to the heavy doors and lightly put his hand against the metal. It was warm to the touch, and vibrating slightly. Hercules pulled his hand back and raised his eyebrows. _Huh. That's interesting._ There was definitely some kind of power radiating from it, although after what he had seen inside, he wasn't surprised. He had just hoped he was wrong. _It's never easy_ , he thought to himself, taking a few steps back and surveying the surrounding wall. It was fairly high, but not unclimbable.

Hercules hesitated. Was this really how he wanted to go about getting to Iolaus? He had already probably made a bad enough impression by sitting in the courtyard like a permanent fixture for the last three days, not to mention getting into a fight with two of the guards. He pressed his lips together in a grim line. Scaling a Chan temple wall in the middle of a strange city was probably not the best solution, but this Master Li was not giving him much of a choice. While he at least respected Jiang Nu for coming out and talking to him instead of throwing him bodily around the place, he didn't approve of the monks' methods, or of the fact that they seemed to be content to let Iolaus live in blissful ignorance. That wasn't the same as peace, at least in Hercules' mind.

The demigod walked back up to the wall and cautiously placed his palm against it, seeing if it also emitted that same strange humming power. It was cool to the touch and felt like exactly like what it was - stone. Hercules was still wary, remembering what Jiang had said about the temple having its secrets. He'd had enough experiences in Egypt and Sumeria, not to mention Greece, to know that meant the building was protected in some way. Usually that meant traps, but here… he wasn't so sure.

 _Well_ , he thought, anxiously, _guess we'll find out_. He took a step back, searching for a good hand-hold. He spotted a niche that he thought would work nicely and leapt up to grab onto it. Impossibly, just as his fingers were about to grasp onto the small recess, his hand passed straight through the stone as if it was made of smoke. Startled, he landed back on the ground and stared at his hand in fascination. _That was different,_ he thought, turning it over a few times, examining it. His hand looked unchanged, and so did the stone wall. Hercules narrowed his eyes at it and experimentally passed his arm back and forth through the wall a few times. The stone changed into that same odd smoky material, coalescing over his hand with strange fluidity. It started thickening, as if the demigod had stuck his hand in mud, and he quickly retracted his arm. Needless to say, that changed the game considerably.

 _If it turns to smoke every time I try to touch it, I should be able to just walk right through the wall…_ He figured that would be too easy, but shrugged and attempted it anyway. Sure enough, his forehead and nose collided with the again solid stone with an audible _thunk_. _Yep,_ he thought, irritably rubbing his nose.

Scowling darkly, Hercules stepped back and put his hands on his hips, mind working furiously. _When I wasn't thinking about climbing it, it was solid. I think about climbing it, and it turns to smoke. All right… I guess the object of the game is not to… think._ That had to be the challenge. He was beginning to see a lot of similarities between Chan and Illumination. Iolaus had used mind clearing techniques before, to get into enough of a meditative state to hold rocks on his back for an hour when he'd been put on trial in Autolycus' place, for example. This had to be the same principle.

Hercules took a few deep, calming breaths, like he had shown Arcas how to do if he was having one of his bad days. In through his nose, out through his mouth. He tried to clear his mind of all thought, pushing his worries about his son and his need to get to Iolaus out of his mind. It wasn't easy. _Just think about nothing._ He tried to call up the memory of when Maben had frozen the lake in Eire, how he had calmed his mind, envisioned himself on the land, and had slowed his heartbeat. _There is no wall_ , he told himself. _There is no anything._ He kept repeating that mantra to himself over and over, still as a statue, until he could no longer sense anything around him. The noise of insects in the forest behind him became dull and muted. The feel of the dirt beneath his boots, even the smell of the air around him, slowly started fading away, as if it didn't exist. How many minutes had passed? How many hours? He didn't know.

On instinct, he took a step forward and put his hand out, brushing the fingertips lightly against the surface. As soon as his mind registered something was there, the stone turned to smoke again. _Dammit_ , Hercules thought in exasperation. _There is no wall. If there's no wall, you can't climb it._ Made sense. _Think Herc. If there's no wall, then you should be able to walk through it._ He realized with a start that when he felt the stone change that's exactly what he should have done. _No, because if I realized I could walk through it, it would turn to stone again._ He was becoming increasingly frustrated. _Iolaus has been here for a year. He could have probably snuck in and back out by now._ Unfortunately, Hercules didn't have a year to sit down and figure it out. He didn't even have months, or days. _I really do not have time for this._

Unwilling to give up quite yet, he sat down on the ground and studied the wall and the iron gate, thinking about how Jiang had somehow made all those people in the courtyard disappear. They're on another plane, she had said. That concept was even more distant to him than trying to climb the stupid wall. Somehow they had moved, but they were still there at the same time. Hercules shook his head. It was impossible, but yet, it wasn't; he had seen Jiang disappear and the rest of the monks reappear in an instant, as if nothing had ever happened. _Maybe the same idea could be applied here_. Those people had to have gone somewhere. It was the same concept as there being no wall. He just had to concentrate hard enough on being inside the temple… _And what, I'll just magically move?_ The idea was ludicrous.

What was it he had told Iolaus before they had gone to Sumeria? _Keep an open mind, broaden your horizons._ He grimaced at the memory, but decided, for the moment, to take his own advice. Settling back into the rhythmic breathing pattern, he started trying to picture the courtyard in his mind. He had picked up Illumination very quickly in Eire; he just had to keep reminding himself that the concepts were not all that different. He could almost hear Iolaus playfully grumbling about demigods and how unfair it was that Hercules was "good at everything", and his lip twitched in a smile. He pushed the distracting thought away, concentrating on his goal.

He sat up straighter and put his hands in front of his chest, the thumb and forefinger of both hands forming a circle in front of his heart as he had seen Iolaus do on numerous occasions, and focused on his breathing. _There is no wall. There is no anything. No temple, no earth… just me. All there is is me… and Iolaus._ Hercules concentrated harder on the image of his friend. _Let me see Iolaus._ A memory flashed through his mind of the first time he had seen Iolaus since they had been very young. It was in Corinth… Iolaus was trying to steal that urn, and they had gotten into a fight. It was how Iolaus had wound up at the Academy. _Yes. Iolaus. Let me see my friend._ Another memory… this one even younger. Hercules was five and Iolaus was seven, and the older boy was climbing one of the large trees by Hercules' house. The demigod was afraid. They weren't supposed to be doing that. He wanted to run and tell his mother but Iolaus had warned him not to. The older boy grabbed a branch and it snapped, making Iolaus lose his footing. Hercules yelled as Iolaus fell.

Hercules' brow furrowed. He didn't know if his own mind was churning up these memories, or if it was the temple, trying to distract him. _Let me in_ , he commanded it. _Let me see him._ He felt another flash of memory coming on and he concentrated on it, changing it to remembering when he had come to see Iolaus for his wedding to Anya. He had hefted the smaller man into the air, Iolaus laughing and thrashing wildly. He changed that to the memory of seeing Iolaus, alive and well, after he had defeated the She-Demon, surrounded by all the others who had been turned to stone coming back to join their families.

 _Let me in._

Hercules brought up all the happy memories of being with Iolaus – of seeing him after long absences, celebrating the birth of Hercules' first son at the local tavern, getting him back from the Underworld after defeating the Enforcer, the food fight with him and Nemesis, a purple Iolaus trying to remind Hercules of who he was…

 _Let me in._

Iolaus and Autolycus chained together with huge teeth and enormous feet… Telling Iolaus he was his family and that was why he couldn't stay on Olympus…

 _Let me in!_

Pulling Iolaus out of the reflective pool and realizing that it was him, _really_ him, hugging him, lifting him into the air because he was back, he was _back…_

 _ **Let me in!**_

Hercules felt the ground reverberate beneath him, and it suddenly felt cold and hard. He slowly put his hands back down but kept his eyes closed, unwilling to believe it had actually worked. It was only when he put his fingers lightly against the ground, expecting to feel gravel and felt the smooth stone instead, that he slowly blinked his eyes open.

The main courtyard came into focus in front of him. "I don't believe it," he breathed out loud, a wide grin spreading across his face. The demigod pushed himself up to standing, his boots making a scraping sound against the stone, yet another sign that he wasn't hallucinating, that he'd actually done it, he'd somehow _moved_ …

But his jubilation quickly died down as the courtyard seemed to flicker in and out, shapes of the surrounding forest taking its place. Hercules looked around, wide-eyed, and put his hands up as if he could physically stop what was happening. "No," he whispered, "no, no, no!"

He heard that familiar sound of rushing wind and braced himself as what felt like the force of an entire army slammed into him, throwing him backward and into the air. Hercules felt his body being flipped and jerked around like a puppet, the force of the wind actually throwing him _through_ the temple wall which had magically turned back into smoke the instant he was about to hit it. He managed to catch a glimpse of it reforming into solid stone as he continued to sail backward, desperately trying to grab onto something as he realized the current of air was sending him well beyond the path and toward the cliff behind him. _Not good, not good!_

He hit the ground hard, sending dust and gravel up in a cloud around him, the wind still pushing him back to the cliff's edge. He grabbed at the ground but his hands came away empty, and it wasn't until he was perilously close to the precipice that the power finally died down, but he kept sliding from the strength of it. He felt his feet go over, then his legs. Hercules grit his teeth and dug his fingers into the ground as hard as he could, managing the snag the edge just in time.

"Son of a _bitch_!" he yelled, angrily. He glanced down, and then wished he hadn't. All he could see below him were misty clouds, the night lights of Chang'an city barely visible beneath them. _Stupid!_ He tried to push the image of how far he would have to fall, and what an utterly broken mass of flesh and bones his body would be if he lost his grip, out of his mind. _Come on, come on, old man. Pull yourself up!_ He grit his teeth and pulled against the rock face as hard as he could, grimacing as he felt something in his right shoulder pop. _Come ON!_

Inch by excruciating inch, Hercules finally managed to pull his chest and torso back onto the ground, taking most of the weight off his arms and wrists, and then dragged himself across the dirt until he was a safe enough distance away. He rolled onto his shoulder and felt the joint slide back into place, grunting against the sharp pain that rolled down his arm, and then collapsed onto his back, breathing heavily.

When the pain in his arm had died down to a dull ache, he scowled up at the stars and turned over, using his left arm to push himself back up so that he was facing the temple once more. Hercules shrugged his injured shoulder experimentally, but it was already feeling almost normal again. He sighed, annoyed at it. He had already dislocated it several times in the past, which was probably why it had slipped out of place again so easily. Either that, or his body had just taken far too many beatings in his lifetime and was starting to protest. The demigod figured it was probably a combination of both.

Hercules glared across the path at the temple, which looked just a little too still for having just about thrown him over a cliff to his death. It didn't even look like anyone in the temple had woken up, and why would they? Who needs guards when the very building could defend itself? He clenched and unclenched his fists, resisting the urge to put his arm through the wall. He knew it would be fruitless, and the temple would just fight back and possibly really kill him this time. He had a suspicious feeling that if it had truly wanted to throw him off a cliff, he'd be dead right now. That had been a warning.

Hercules squeezed his eyes shut in bitter disappointment and aggravation. _I was so close, so_ close _!_ He knew he hadn't hallucinated – he'd actually somehow transitioned to inside the temple. With a snarl, he kicked a large rock as hard as he could and sent it hurtling into the nearby trees. "All right!" he yelled at the temple, not even caring how insane he sounded. "I get it! You don't want me forcing my way in." He brushed the dust and gravel off his pants before shooting it another dirty look. "I'm leaving! We'll just… do this the hard way," he said in grim determination and stalked back down the path that led into the city, careful to keep away from the cliff edge. He knew better than to attempt another try.

 _That was round two._

* * *

 **Now**

Hercules waited until he and Arcas had cleaned up the remnants of dinner before reluctantly traipsing out to the barn. He hadn't been kidding when he told Iolaus seeing him show up tonight was not what he was expecting, and he hadn't planned on having to tell Iolaus about Meg so quickly either. And he _definitely_ hadn't wanted it to happen the way that it had. Nothing about this night was turning out the way he anticipated at all, and Arcas had practically had to shove the demigod out the door and across the porch before Hercules had batted his hand away.

"I'm going," he grumbled. "Finish drying the dishes… And don't come out there, do you hear me?" When Arcas failed to reply, he pointed a finger at him menacingly. "I'm serious, Arcas. Let us handle it."

Everything was all wrong, and once he'd had the opportunity to cool down after Iolaus had stormed off, he realized what a complete jack ass he'd made out of himself. After the initial shock at seeing Iolaus again had worn off, something cold had settled into the pit of his stomach. Halfway through their conversation, he recognized that it was anger – bitter and resentful. He knew he had let it creep into his voice, and that it had prevented him from coming clean to Iolaus about Chin earlier in the evening. There were so many other emotions fighting for control inside him: happiness, joy, confusion… but anger was the strongest. _Why now? Why has he come home now? And why had he been gone for so long?_ The questions burned in his brain. It hadn't been his intention to pepper Iolaus with thousands of questions when he'd finally come home, but questions, it turned out, were all that he had.

He was overjoyed at Iolaus' return, so much so that he thought he would burst, but there were just too many things that needed answering for. And Hercules knew that Iolaus would now have just as many questions as the demigod. Getting into a fight within hours of his best friend finally returning, however, was not going to solve anything.

 _There's a lot of hurt between us_ , Hercules thought. _He left with so much left unsaid. We both left so many things unsaid. And unexplained._ He wasn't going to try and pretend he understood what caused Iolaus to leave in the first place. Trying to compare the short amount of time he was under Sin's influence to the horror that was being possessed by Dahak would be like trying to compare a needle to a spear. All he knew was that there was a stark contrast between the Iolaus who left, and the one that had shown up on his doorstep tonight. Hell… there was a stark contrast between the man he'd known his whole life and this Iolaus. And Hercules knew he had changed as well. He was living the life of a farmer and a father now more than a legendary hero. Through the years, as people started relying on him less and less, it didn't seem to bother him as much as it suddenly did now that Iolaus was back. He realized, sadly, it was because Iolaus was eventually going to ask what had been going on, what he'd been doing while he was gone and when Arcas wasn't around, and he was going to have to tell him about Zeus, and Xena and Gabrielle, if he didn't already know. He doubted Jiang or that pompous ass Li had given Iolaus that message either. He was going to have to tell Iolaus… that Hercules wasn't a hero anymore.

Hercules stopped just as he was about to get to the barn doors. A new feeling had emerged – shame. Shame for the way he had acted, and shame for lately just sitting back and letting the so called Twilight come and metaphorically wipe him out of existence right along with his father, Hera, and Ares. He hadn't heard much out of the gods in years, not even Aphrodite, although Meg and Arcas had a few run-ins of their own while studying with Jason. He hadn't given them that much thought, until now. From the time he had found out about Arcas until the day he and Meg had gone off to the Academy, he felt that his son needed him more. The people of Greece – who had finally begun to fight for themselves and rely on themselves instead of the gods and people like him, or even Perseus – didn't anymore. He was proud of them. It was what he, and Iolaus, had been encouraging them to do for as long as he could remember. And besides… Meg and Arcas were all too eager to take up the mantle, and he had been all too eager to let them. So, why was he so worried about telling Iolaus all of this?

Hercules shook his head in an effort to clear it. There was no point focusing on those thoughts right now, and he had been stalling long enough. He sighed, squared his shoulders, and tentatively pushed the wooden doors open. "Iolaus?" he called softly. When he received no response, the demigod opened the doors the rest of the way and stepped inside. It was quite dark, and he reached for the lantern that was always kept hanging by the door.

"Uh… Iolaus?" he asked again. It was eerily quiet, and for a moment Hercules began to worry that Iolaus had left again, that he had just said he was going to sleep in the barn to keep Hercules from following him. He used some oil to get the lantern going and held it up, surveying the entryway. It sure didn't look like anyone was there.

Before he started panicking, Hercules raised an eyebrow and lifted the lantern up toward the rafters. "Are you going to come down and talk to me, or just hang around all night?"

He heard the sound of a throat clearing and whirled to see Iolaus sitting on one of the haystacks. "I'm right here," Iolaus said, irritably. "Come on… I haven't hid up there since we were kids."

"Well… you never know," Hercules said, trying to slow his heart beat. Iolaus had definitely not been over there before, and he hadn't heard a sound. It was like he just appeared out of nowhere. "Um… how did you do that?"

"Do what?" Iolaus asked, crossing his arms. Hercules scowled.

"I can see it's going to be one of those nights." He placed the lantern back on the hook and folded his arms in return. "So, I'll go first… I'm sorry."

"Yeah, I would say so." The irritated look still hadn't left Iolaus' face. "Am I supposed to be apologizing for something now?"

Hercules smiled in spite of himself. "No, I guess not."

Silence. Iolaus unfolded his arms and began methodically pulling pieces of straw out of the stack and tossing them on the ground. Hercules watched him for a few beats before leaning against the far wall and asking, "Are you ready to talk about this?" When Iolaus still didn't answer, the demigod just nodded, resignedly. "All right. I'll leave the lantern here for you."

Iolaus rolled his eyes. "Wait," he said as Hercules had started to turn to go back outside. "I…" He made an aggravated noise and ran a hand over his face. "Sorry I… blew up at you like that, and in front of your son. And… that I called you a selfish son of a bitch."

Hercules blinked. "You didn't call me that."

"I didn't? Oh. Well, sorry for thinking it. And saying it just now." The bland way Iolaus said it made Hercules think he wasn't sorry in the least, but he probably deserved it, so he kept quiet. "But," Iolaus continued, "you deserve it."

Hercules' mouth twitched.

Iolaus, misinterpreting, scowled again. "This is not funny."

"It's not that," Hercules explained, leaning against the wall again. "I just… knew you were going to say that."

Iolaus snorted. "Yeah, well… I knew you were going to come in here after me eventually, too. So…" He shrugged. "Here we are." He eyed Hercules from across the barn. "Please tell me you understand why I'm so angry with you, and that you didn't come out here to… I dunno, make excuses, or convince me that you were trying to do the right thing, or some other kind of bull shit."

"Well, are you ready to listen to me?" Hercules countered. "Because, as I kept trying to tell you, I can explain everything."

"I don't _want_ an explanation!"

"Then what _do_ you want, Iolaus? What do you want from me? I said I was sorry!"

Iolaus stopped shredding the hay and looked at him incredulously, hopping off the stack to stand in front of him. "And I guess that makes it all better? Hercules, there's no apologizing for this!"

Hercules felt his temper flaring, despite his efforts. "And what about you? What about you disappearing for so long and leaving me here? There's no apologizing for that either!"

"I wasn't about to!" Iolaus shouted, but then shook his head, waving off what Hercules was about to say. "Stop, stop, stop," he said, looking pained. "What are we doing here? What are we _doing_ , Hercules? This isn't us."

Hercules sighed. "I don't know," he admitted. "I don't want to fight with you, Iolaus."

"Neither do I. That's the last thing I wanted to do when I got here, believe me."

"Okay," Hercules nodded, "then… let's just both agree that we each have things we're angry at each other for and… move on."

"Okay," Iolaus agreed, but he sounded guarded. He walked back over to the haystack once more and leaned against it, mirroring Hercules. "I wouldn't want Arcas to come storming in here threatening to kill me in my sleep or something."

The demigod sighed and rubbed his eyes tiredly. "Yeah… about that…"

"How did he know what was going on earlier?" Iolaus asked.

"It's-"

"-complicated?" Iolaus finished, dryly. "Yeah, I get that. A lot of things are complicated, it seems."

"Look, Arcas is… Arcas, and that's whole other conversation. And, he's not going to kill you in your sleep."

"I know that, Herc. I was just giving you a hard time."

"Right." Hercules pursed his lips. "So… are you ready to listen? No matter what I say, you're not going to like it. I know that." Iolaus made a noncommittal noise and gestured vaguely, indicating Hercules should continue. "And, for the record… I truly am sorry it came out the way that it did. It wasn't my intention. I just… didn't know how to break it to you."

Iolaus blinked rapidly. "I'm pretty sure that qualifies for understatement of the year. And, when have you _ever_ been any good at breaking bad news to people?"

Hercules couldn't argue with that. "Yeah. The whole 'Don't go to Alturia because the food is bad' thing." At Iolaus' blank look, Hercules laughed. "Come on, you don't remember that?"

"Oh, no… I remember. I just… don't usually try to compare you to your father." Iolaus shrugged. "And the food was pretty bad. Not getting shoved into a cocoon with gunk smeared all over your face bad, but still." He tried to hide his smile but it wasn't working.

"Yeah, my father was never any good at telling the truth, was he? I guess I… picked up something from him after all."

"You are nothing like Zeus," Iolaus said, quickly. "I mean that."

Hercules wasn't sure how much Iolaus knew about the whole Zeus thing and he wasn't about to ask. He wasn't even sure if he could bring himself to tell Iolaus what had happened. "So… Meg," the demigod began, clearing his throat uncomfortably.

Iolaus' lips formed into a thin line. "Yeah…"

"This is going to sound… so stupid, but… the whole thing of me and Jason finding out about it was a complete accident."

Iolaus' eyes widened. " _Jason?_ "

 _Oops_. "Uh…"

" _Jason_ was there? He knew about this?" He barked an incredulous laugh. "Unbelievable!"

"Yes, he was there. It was during the peace negotiations between Corinth and Attica."

"What? What peace negotiations?" Iolaus demanded. "Corinth went to war with Attica?"

" _No!_ " Hercules growled in frustration. "Just, listen to me. No!" He held up a hand to stop the questions that were about to start tumbling out of Iolaus' mouth. "No – stop talking."

Iolaus looked like he really wanted to argue, but he slowly leaned back against the haystack and shrugged at him, obviously trying to be reasonable.

The demigod continued, "You're going to have a ton of questions, and I understand that, but we're going to be at this all night if you keep interrupting. Yes… Jason was there. No, we were not at war with Attica. You remember the peace plan you helped negotiate?" At Iolaus' scowl, Hercules rolled his eyes. "Of course you remember. Anyway, Niobe's new husband, Amphion… he wanted to expand it, bring in all the neighboring city-states. He'd been pressuring Iphicles for a while, and Iph somehow convinced Jason to go with him to sort it all out. And then… Arcas convinced me to take him and go, too. He was a kid and he was bored, and frankly I couldn't think of anything better to do. So, we went." He gave a sarcastic laugh, remembering the day. "The whole thing was a complete accident, believe me. If I hadn't gone… I dunno. Niobe… she, uh… well, like I said, she was trying to pass off Meg as Orestes'."

"And let me guess?" Iolaus asked, unable to help himself. "You figured it out?"

"Not at first. But… yes," Hercules admitted. "The timing was right, and she, Hector, and Linus were just acting a little too strangely."

"Hector and Linus…" Iolaus looked like he was very far away, in another place, or another time. "How are they?"

Hercules wasn't expecting that question. "Hector and Linus?"

"I assume you still talk to everyone? What with, um… Meg and Arcas being such good friends?" When Hercules nodded, Iolaus asked again, "How are they?"

"Good, I guess? Hector's retired. Linus heads up the guard now."

Iolaus nodded his head absently in agreement. "So… what happened to make you keep it from me? Did they threaten you? Arcas?"

Hercules frowned. "No. Nothing like that. Niobe gave me this song and dance about how you couldn't come back to Attica, that that was why you died as Orestes-"

"You're not going to want to hear this, but she's right. I couldn't go back there. No one was supposed to know what had happened."

"Yeah, she told me that, too. But, eventually… she saw my side of it."

Iolaus grunted. "I'll bet."

Hercules pursed his lips. "What's that supposed to mean?"

The smaller man began bouncing on his toes in nervous energy. "Just that… you have a bad habit of sticking your big, demigod nose where it doesn't belong sometimes."

"If I hadn't done that-"

"If you hadn't done that, what? No one would be the wiser, and we wouldn't be here having this conversation." He gave the demigod a long-suffering look. "Hercules, even if I had stayed… If I had stayed, you never would have gone there, and neither of us would have known the difference. You know Niobe would never have come to find me and tell me the truth. And… maybe she would have been right to do it."

"That's the second time tonight you've said something like that," Hercules said, shortly.

"Because it's the _truth_. You and I would have both gone about our lives, not knowing, and-"

"And Meg would have been living a lie, like Niobe wanted you to do. Yes, if you had stayed, things would have been different. A lot different." He swallowed the bitter comment that was about to force its way up. "But, things also have a way of working themselves out. Melinus still would have come to find me, to bring Arcas to me, whether you were here or not. Jason still would have gone to Attica, with Iphicles. Maybe it would have been me and you with Arcas, instead of me and Jason… Maybe Niobe would have changed her mind, come to find you. Who's to say what would have happened?"

Iolaus shrugged, resigned. "I don't know. I try not to dwell on 'what ifs' anymore. What if I stayed in Greece, what if you hadn't gone to Attica…" He waved his hand dismissively. "It's done. And none of this explains how she got you to… do what you did."

"Well," Hercules said, flatly, "as you keep reminding me, no one was supposed to know you took Orestes' place. I think she was looking for an excuse to tell somebody, but… yeah, you couldn't come back. She made that pretty clear. And if you're so convinced that she was doing the right thing, even if I _had_ told you…"

"I couldn't have come back anyway," Iolaus sighed. "And we're going around in circles. I guess I'm just having a hard time believing Niobe fessed up to all of this, what with that peace plan and everything." At Hercules' silence, he groaned and fixed the demigod with a weary look. "What? What now?"

"Iolaus," Hercules sighed, "you keep saying you don't think Niobe would have come to find you, but… if she knew that you were back all those years ago, I think maybe she would have."

"Back..?" Iolaus prompted, not following.

"She thought you were still dead. I think that's why it was a lot easier for her to just… pretend and play along. If you were dead, there would have been no point in telling everyone the truth. I had to tell her what had happened."

 _Wow._ Iolaus could only imagine how that conversation must have gone. "I bet that went over real well," he muttered.

"She was… shocked, to say the least. I think it may be what caused the sudden change in her tune. She wasn't expecting to hear you were alive, and I guess it threw her off."

"Or a certain demigod backed her into a corner."

Hercules wasn't a hundred percent sure if that was an accusation of some kind. "Look," he huffed, "no one forced her to tell anybody. She came to Jason first, actually. Not me." He tried not to look smug at Iolaus' look of surprise. "She tried to convince him not to tell me, and obviously that wasn't going to happen. And this was the only chance I had of spending time with Meg, of making sure she knew about you and not just lies about Orestes."

Iolaus raised his eyebrows. "So, instead of convincing just Jason, she convinced the both of you not to tell me instead?"

" _So_ ," Hercules said through clenched teeth, "I said I wouldn't write, and I said as long as you weren't in Greece I wouldn't say anything. I said as long as _you_ weren't in Greece, Iolaus," he added at the look of supreme dislike Iolaus was giving him. "I didn't say anything about _me_ not being in Greece. So, the first chance I got, I took a trade ship and went to Chin to try and find you."

There was a very long silence while Iolaus processed that. Hercules figured he had been prepared to argue, and that this was not what he had expected to hear. Judging by the look on Iolaus' face, the demigod wasn't far off. "What?" Iolaus asked blankly, his brow furrowed in confusion.

"I know you told me not to, but I didn't know what else to do. I wasn't… I wasn't going to keep this from you, no matter what Niobe said."

"I don't understand."

Hercules spread his arms and repeated, slowly, "I… went… to… Chin. A week after I found out, I left Arcas here with Jason, and I came to find you. I took a ship out of Athens to Cairo, and then Cairo to India… It was a huge pain in the ass."

"But… How? I mean… you didn't even know where…" The blond shook his head in bewilderment. "You went to _India_?"

"Yes, Iolaus! I can't believe you would think I'd keep something like this from you. How could you think that? Of course I came to find you!"

Iolaus, to his credit, at least had the decency to look guilty. All of the things he had been planning to say to Hercules suddenly vanished, replaced by a feeling of deep regret. He felt instantly foolish, both at the way he had lost his center, and at the fact that his first assumption was that Hercules had lied to him.

"I'm… I was just… very overwhelmed," he stuttered by way of explanation. "It was a lot to hear, and… a lot to take in, what with being back in Greece, and seeing Arcas, and you – seeing you again."

"Yeah," the demigod agreed.

Iolaus grew quiet. "Um… sorry," he said, solemnly. "Again… Overwhelming."

Hercules resisted the urge to let the silence drag on and just nodded in understanding. "It's okay. Your reaction wasn't great, but… I kind of expected it. Like I said, that wasn't how I wanted you to find out. Especially not on your first night back."

The blond cocked an eyebrow at him. "Just for laughs… how _would_ you have wanted me to find out?"

Hercules paused. He actually hadn't even thought that far ahead. "Good question. I'm sure I would have probably come up with something as equally disastrous, if given the opportunity."

"So, basically you're saying… you had nothing?"

"Basically."

Iolaus laughed and shook his head. "Nice."

"Iolaus, I tried," Hercules said, sobering. "I really did. I tried to tell you. I tried to find you… It took me weeks of wandering around that gods forsaken place. I had to speak Latin! None of them knew any Greek, at least not until I got to the temple in Chang'an." At that, Iolaus started. "Yeah, I got to the temple. Nice place."

Iolaus put a hand up. "Wait. You came to the Chan temple?"

"Yep."

"The temple… in Chang'an?" Iolaus repeated, an odd expression on his face. He realized absently he was beginning to sound like a parrot.

The demigod gave him an annoyed eye roll. "Yes, Iolaus," he said, forcefully. "I think I would remember correctly, seeing as how I got real acquainted with being thrown around the place. No one would let me see you. They tried to tell me you weren't there. I sat in the courtyard for three days… _three days_ , Iolaus, before they finally sent that woman Jiang Nu out to talk to me."

Iolaus swallowed. "I, uh… I had no idea."

"Oh, I know. Believe me, I know you had no idea, because she wouldn't let me see you either. And I had told Jiang about Meg, about why I was there, but… she said…" He trailed off, remembering the day in vivid detail, suddenly feeling very sad. "She said you had no friends, and you had no family, and that you couldn't know your child until you knew yourself. That, once you commit yourself to Chan, you leave-"

"-all things behind," Iolaus finished, quietly. "I… can't believe you came to Chin."

"Well, I did. I wasn't going to lie. I couldn't do that, regardless of what you thought. But, it doesn't matter. They wouldn't let me see you, and Jiang pulled this weird disappearing act with the monks, and then she disappeared..." He squeezed his eyes shut and waved the memory away, deciding it wasn't worth trying to explain what he had seen. "Anyway… then I tried to come back that night and break in-"

"What!?" Iolaus exclaimed, loudly. "You tried to break into a _Chan temple_?"

"Yeah," the demigod said, scratching his chin distractedly. "Not a good idea."

Iolaus was staring at him as if he'd never seen him before, jaw dropped. "You're lucky you're not dead."

"It wasn't for its lack of trying, believe me. It threw me out, right through the wall, and almost right off the damned cliff, too." He laughed grimly, rubbing his right shoulder. "I had dislocated my shoulder again. I almost forgot."

"Wait, wait, wait. You got _through_ the wall? After being there for three days?" Iolaus shook his head in amazement. _Of course he did. Some things never change._ "You've got to be kidding me."

As if sensing his irritation, Hercules grimaced. "Uh… well, Chan is actually pretty similar to that stuff I learned in Eire. Illumination?"

"Hmmm," Iolaus nodded politely and changed the subject. " So… Jiang came to talk to you, the temple tried to kill you, and then you left?"

"Uh… well… not exactly."

Iolaus thought Hercules looked almost embarrassed. "Ah. Well… what happened then, exactly?"

"I… may have come back the next morning and gotten into a huge fight with all the guards."

Iolaus' eyebrows shot up so high they almost disappeared into his hair. "You _may_ have?" he prodded, mostly just to cover up his shock and surprise. He was trying to remember what he had been doing, why he had no idea this was happening, especially if Hercules had gotten into an epic fight with the black robed monks who served and guarded the temple.

"Okay, I _did_ get into a huge fight with all the guards," the demigod admitted. "They… hit me with staffs and tried to force me back out." Hercules scowled as he saw Iolaus cover his face in an attempt to stifle his laughter. "They're were almost fifty of them! What was I supposed to do? They wouldn't let me in, I couldn't get through to anybody."

"They beat you back with sticks?" Iolaus' shoulders were shaking, and despite Hercules' best efforts to stay annoyed before he knew it, he was laughing as well.

"They were _staffs._ Okay… maybe they were short staffs, like batons or something, I don't know. But they _hurt_."

"I can't believe you tried to break into a Chan temple and then got into a fist fight with fifty guards… just to talk to me."

"Are you really surprised by that?" Hercules asked.

Iolaus knew the short answer was 'no'. He couldn't count the many times Hercules had stormed places and beaten back dozens of people to get to him. He also knew, deep down, that writing to Hercules and telling him not to come was probably not going to work. He vaguely recalled even telling Master Li as much. And he remembered being surprised, and a little hurt, that Hercules had listened. Or at least, Iolaus had _thought_ he had listened.

If he was being perfectly honest with himself, he really had wanted Hercules to stay away, at least at first. The dark, terrible place he was in – both mentally and physically – wasn't something he would have wanted anyone to see, let alone his best friend. But he couldn't deny that by the time he had left Chang'an and headed for India, he would have expected the demigod to have shown up at some point. _Well,_ he thought, _I guess that sort of explains that._ He was more than a little surprised that Jiang had kept him in the dark all this time. The two of them had gotten very close. Li undoubtedly had something to do with it.

It was then that he suddenly remembered what he had been doing during the time Hercules had said he'd been in Chin. He had gotten passed the first trial, and they had finally hauled him out of that pit and stopped forcing lotus down his throat and let him sleep, really sleep, for what felt like the first time in months. And he hadn't dreamt anything in what felt like even longer. It had been so nice, so peaceful, just black nothingness. They let him sleep for three days, because Jiang wouldn't let anyone disturb him.

When they had decided he'd rested enough, Li had come to tell him that he had to start over. He couldn't just pick up from when he had left off, the first time he had come to study, and had packed him off to the rice fields near the Wei River along with the lowest caste of monks. He remembered he'd been so disappointed, so frustrated…

"It seemed like the only reasonable thing to do at the time," Hercules was saying, forcing Iolaus out of his reverie. "I, uh… wasn't thinking very clearly back then. And… I just couldn't understand why they wouldn't let me see you, until Li came out." A disparaging look came across his face, and the two men found themselves sitting in silence once more.

"You, uh, spoke with Li?" Iolaus asked, tentatively, after a bit. _Great. Who knows what he told him…_

"I think he got the hint I wasn't leaving and decided he better do something about it."

Iolaus wasn't sure what to make of that. Li didn't just go out and talk to anybody. That's what he had people like Jiang and Ban for. "That's… impressive," was all he managed to say.

"He was something," Hercules agreed, bitterly. "He seemed to know an awful lot about me. About us."

Iolaus shifted against the haystack. "He had his opinions. And… he knows an awful lot about a lot of things, not just you and me. I studied under him before."

"I remember. It's how I was able to figure out to go to Chang'an in the first place," Hercules explained. "For all the good it did me."


	7. Chapter Seven

**Chapter Seven**

 **Then – Hercules**

Hercules stormed back to the temple the next morning with a vengeance, throwing the iron doors open with vicious ferocity, not caring if he disrupted the monks or their solitude. It seemed, however, that the powers that be of the Chan temple were ready for him. Instead of the white and maroon clad monks he was expecting to go scrambling out of his way, he came face to face with a horde of black clad guards, all staring at him stoically, carrying blunt wooden staffs.

The demigod strode into the middle of the courtyard and paused long enough to consider his odds, especially after what he had seen the first two do three days earlier, before thinking, _To hell with it_.

" _Iolaus_!" he bellowed at the top of his lungs, and they descended upon him. He somehow in all the confusion managed to get in a few good hits, sending three of the guards flying backward against the walls and pillars of the actual temple, and two more into the iron gate. He noted that the temple itself seemed content to just stay out of the fight this time before one of the staffs collided with his forehead, making him blink in surprise.

He grabbed the offending weapon and tried to block another, but wasn't quick enough and felt the sharp crack of a staff against the bridge of his nose. He felt blood spurt and barely had time to register his annoyance before the end of another staff caught him in the gut, then another against his right bicep, and another to his left knee. He felt his leg buckle and forced himself to stay upright.

"Okay, guys," he tried hopefully, blocking another swing to his face but getting one in the rib cage in return, "maybe we could just talk about this?"

They all came at him at once, and the demigod became a blur of arms and legs, blocks and kicks, as he tried to fend off the blows. None of them used their fancy wind trick, and none of the blows were aimed at incapacitating or seriously injuring him, but they were forcing him to continually step backward, inching him closer and closer to the gate. They were trying to drive him back out.

"Oh… no… you… don't…" Hercules grunted. He set his stance and, raising his arms to his face in a block, pushed back against the horde of swinging staffs as hard as he could. To his satisfaction, the group of black clad monks stumbled backward and seemed surprised at his show of strength. He hadn't really fought back against them when they had tried to throw him out a few days ago, and they obviously knew who he was from the son of Zeus comments, but up until this point hadn't had any reason to believe the stories. They recovered quickly, however, and began pummeling him with new intensity. Luckily for him, he _was_ the son of a god, because he doubted a mere mortal would still be on his feet fighting at this point. He dodged, he kicked, he hit, he swung, but with every victory they still managed to make him take a step backward. The blood from his nose was getting in his mouth and he spat it out angrily. This was getting really old, really fast.

"All right, that's _it_!" he shouted, crouching down low and then shooting up to standing, flinging his arms back and he did so and sending at least a dozen of the guards flying through the air. The rest ignored their fallen comrades, all standing with their staffs raised in a defensive posture, regarding him intently.

Hercules wiped the blood off his face, wincing as one of his fingers brushed his bottom lip. He touched it experimentally and felt that it had been split open at some point during the fight. He glared at the remaining guards, dropping his hand back to his side. "Well?" he demanded. "Is that it?" He spat more blood out of his mouth onto the pristine and polished stone in front of him. "Is that all you've got? Because I could do this all day."

He'd made smarter decisions in his life and he realized egging on this particular group was not exactly wise, but he also didn't care. He was tired, he was sore, he was frustrated, but most of all he was miserable – miserable and angry. He'd been away from Arcas for almost three months and he was no closer to getting to Iolaus than he was when he left. He missed his son, he missed his home, and he longed for a good old fashioned hydra fight as opposed to whatever was going on here. He didn't understand this country and its strange mysticism, and he had never felt so out of place. Part of him just wanted to go home and go back to farming, while the other part of him was screaming in protest, wanting to tear and bite and scream and do whatever he needed to get to his friend. He didn't want to wait around long enough to see what part of him would win out.

The monks were still staring at him curiously, obviously trying to decide if his threat was serious, as if they could sense his inner turmoil. And for all he knew, they could.

One of them finally took half a step forward away from the group. Hercules eyed him warilyas the monk, lifting an eyebrow at him, raised his staff up over his head with both hands. Impossibly, one of the ends started emitting a soft golden glow, and Hercules felt that same odd change in the air that he'd sensed before Jiang Nu had appeared. _Uh, oh._

Lightning fast, the monk twirled the staff back down to slam the glowing end into the stone in front of him. The odd light traveled down the end of the staff and started making its way through the cracks in the courtyard floor, straight toward the demigod, who quickly jumped and rolled to the side just as it was about to connect with this feet. With wide eyes, he watched as the spot he had been standing on burst into nothing more than tiny pebbles and powder that rained down on his head.

Hercules grit his teeth and turned to glare back at the monk, rising to his feet. This was getting serious. When it appeared that he was not about to take the hint, the same monk allowed a look of annoyance to cross his face and raised his staff in the air once more. The demigod braced himself to charge when a voice, clear and commanding, rang out loud through the courtyard.

" _Enough!_ "

Immediately, every single black robed monk dropped their staffs and hit the ground, prostrating. Hercules glanced around in surprise and saw the middle-aged man that had been watching him from the window standing in the now open doorway to the temple antechamber. He had short, cropped hair that was as black as onyx, and wore robes that were impossibly white, as if they'd never seen a spot of dust or dirt. He clasped his hands behind his back and strode barefoot into the courtyard, barking something in his native tongue at the guards on the ground. To Hercules' astonishment, they immediately rose, picked up their fallen staffs, and left, making their way through the door the man had left open. Hercules blinked, trying to make sense of this sudden change in pace.

The white robed man watched them go and waited for the door to shut before turning back to regard the demigod with a curious expression. His eyes were almost as dark as his hair, and Hercules found them extremely off-putting. "Well," he said slowly, in accented Greek, "it is an honor to finally meet the great Hercules. We have heard many stories of your strength and bravery. It is… agreeable… to see that they were not exaggerations."

Hercules shifted, crossing his arms across his chest, not yet ready to lower his guard. "I think you have me at a disadvantage," he said in forced politeness, but there was only one person this man could be.

The man raised an amused eyebrow but decided to humor him. "I am Li Er, Chan Master of this temple. And you have done a splendid job of disrupting our sacred place of solitude."

"I wasn't the one who threw your people around and then beat them with staffs," Hercules said, shortly.

Li bowed slightly. "Forgive them. They take their job of protecting our temple quite seriously. However, it is not the way of Chan to cause pain or injury."

Hercules wiped some blood off his lip. "Yeah, well, you could have fooled me."

"You put up a fight. They were not expecting this."

The demigod smiled sardonically. "I'm sorry, I thought you said you've heard of me."

Li chuckled softly and began slowly walking the courtyard. "Indeed. I suppose I should also not be surprised then to see that you are still here?"

Hercules shrugged indifferently. "You seem to know a lot about me so why don't you tell me."

Li continued in his slow stroll. "Not surprised, no. But still… disappointed. I had hoped that you would understand. I can see that is not the case."

This time, Hercules let an annoyed scowl come across his face. "All I understand is that you're keeping me from my friend. I still don't know why that is, but I know that you think me being here is a problem for him. I'm beginning to think that it's more of a problem for _you_."

Li nodded to himself. "As I said… you do not understand."

Allowing his irritation to creep into his voice, Hercules asked, "Did you come out here just to patronize me or is there some kind of meaning to all of this?"

"Jiang Nu was unable to convince you to go," Li explained, "and I had hoped your unsuccessful attempt to defeat the barrier that surrounds this temple would be enough to deter you. But, you have proven to be more stubborn than I had anticipated. So… I thought, perhaps, it was time for us to meet, and talk."

"Talk," Hercules repeated. "As in… try and make me leave." When Li didn't respond, he rolled his eyes and threw his arms up in frustration. "Well, instead of telling me about everything I don't understand, why don't you enlighten me? Why can't I see Iolaus? Why can't I tell him about what's going on back home? He doesn't even know I'm here! Why don't you tell him I've come and let him decide?"

"That is not our way," Li said. "Iolaus knows this, and he has accepted it, as well as accepted our help to ensure he returns to his path. As his friend, you should accept this as well."

"His path?" Hercules asked, raising his eyebrows. "Iolaus doesn't need you or anybody else's help to be a hero."

"Ah," the Chan master said, softly, in sudden understanding. "You assume that is the path he wishes to take."

The sentence was so ludicrous it took Hercules a moment to formulate some kind of response. "What other 'path' are you talking about? We help people, the two of us. It's what we do."

"I am aware of how Iolaus spent his time in Greece," Li told him, but didn't answer the question. "I am also aware of the events that brought him here to us."

Hercules paused, clenching his jaw. "Dahak," he said, quietly.

Li shrugged slightly. "The demon is only part of the reason. His death and resurrection, yet another. Your friend is a puzzle, and there are many pieces. He must discover for himself where those pieces fit. He is…" Li paused, as if trying to find the correct words. "He is unwell."

Hercules felt a sudden headache coming on and tried to hold onto what little was left of his patience. "Look… you say Iolaus is sick, and I get that. I'm not here to take him away. I told Jiang that when she came to talk to me. If he's hurting, and this is helping him, then I want him to stay for as long as he needs to. I just want to talk to him. That's it."

The Chan master shook his head. "As we have told you, that is not possible. Your friend has come a long way in the short time he has been here, but he still has far more to go. He needs to do this alone."

"I'm not here to stop that!" Hercules all but shouted. "I just want to talk-"

"Iolaus' love for you is the only reason I have allowed this charade to continue, and have not simply had you banished," Li said, sharply, interrupting him. "It is only out of the utmost respect for him, and the damage any harm to you would inevitably cause him, that you are still allowed to stand." He had stopped pacing, and was staring at Hercules with a look of haughty condescension. "It will behoove you to leave, now, before we are forced to enter into any more… unpleastantries."

"I thought it was not the way of Chan to cause pain or injury," Hercules said, coolly.

Li titled his head in a slight nod. "We have, at times, been known to make exceptions."

The demigod pressed his lips into a thin line. "I see. Is that just when anyone disagrees with you, or just me?" Li fixed him with a stony expression and didn't respond. "Just tell me why I can't see him. That's all I'm asking. No more cryptic half-answers. I want to know _why_."

For a moment, Hercules thought the Chan master was simply going to refuse to answer, but he finally shook his head sadly, and said, "Because you are the reason he is here."

That brought Hercules up short, and it felt like something cold and heavy had settled into the pit of his stomach. "What do you mean?" he asked, cautiously.

"Was it not you who wanted to help the people of Sumeria?" Li asked calmly. "Was it not you who told Iolaus you needed to… broaden your horizons? If it was not for you and your inability to turn people away, these terrible things would not have happened to your friend."

The words were like ice water in his veins, and Hercules tried to stop the mounting panic that was suddenly working its way through his system. _How could he know about that…?_ It was almost as if the Chan master was echoing his own thoughts and secret fears. Li was studying him strangely, and Hercules wondered for a moment if that wasn't exactly what he was doing, maybe reading his mind somehow. Telling Hercules the things he was constantly telling himself, in order to convince him to leave. Hercules narrowed his eyes and crossed his arms, refusing to be baited. "Iolaus is his own person. Trust me… if he didn't want to go, he wouldn't have."

"He would follow you to the ends of the earth," Li stated simply. It was so matter of fact that it actually gave Hercules pause. When the demigod didn't respond, Li clasped his hands behind his back and slowly walked toward him again. "When he died, did you not have to discover who you were without him? To discover that you _can_ go on without him?"

Hercules' jaw worked furiously. Li's knowledge of the events of the past few years was unnerving, and he was reminding the demigod a little too much of Maben. The druid also had that annoying habit of pointing out the things Hercules already knew and forcing him to confront the truth. "Yes," he said, finally, albeit grudgingly.

"And this, in turn, helped to ease your pain and allowed you to continue fulfilling your path?"

Again, Hercules agreed. "Yes."

Li stopped a few paces in front of him and spread his arms. "All I am asking is that you grant him the same courtesy. He cannot do this while you are here. For the same reasons," he said, holding a finger up to staunch the interruption Hercules was about to make, "that you could not and would not have discovered your true potential had he not been taken from you." Li stepped forward and gently placed a hand on Hercules' shoulder. "He needs to learn he can live without you. The two of you have been living as though you cannot function without the other. Cut off one arm, does the other one die as well?"

"That's a stupid analogy."

Li shrugged. "Perhaps. But, the point is still the same." He turned and headed back for the temple. "Iolaus alone must discover what is causing his pain. You cannot do it for him. He needs to realize who he is, outside of you. It is the only way he will find peace."

Hercules got the feeling he was being dismissed, and refused to let that be the end of the conversation. "I only found out I could go on without Iolaus because I _had_ to. This isn't the same thing!" he called after him.

"Maybe not for you. It may be for him. It is his test. Perhaps… this is a test for you as well."

Hercules clenched his fists in fury. "We already had that test, and we passed. It was called Dahak."

"Dahak was only a catalyst, and a small piece of the puzzle. Go home, Hercules. He has to learn he can go on without you, the same as you did." Li stopped and turned back over his shoulder to observe him. "A tree cannot grow if it is always in the shadows."

Hercules gaped, affronted. "I have _never_ treated Iolaus like he was in my shadow!"

"That does not mean he did not feel it."

Hercules made a disgusted noise and ran a hand through his hair. _This is just perfect. I am so sick and tired of hearing this shit_. "We've heard all this before, from that thing that took his body."

"And that makes it untrue? _You_ know these things. But Iolaus must learn and see for himself. He cannot become who he was before and who he will be now if you are always with him."

"I don't understand that. And don't give me that crap about the tree again. Iolaus and I… we're a team. We're a part of each other. What affects him affects me."

"You must learn to be separate."

"Why?!" Hercules bellowed, frustrated. "Why is it so important to you that he stay away from me?"

"Because he is on a journey, and you will only impede it. As I said, he would follow you to the ends of the earth. If you ask him to leave, he would, even if he did not want to. That is the hold you have on his heart. This cannot be. He must not leave until he is ready, or he will never be well. What is more important to you? Having him at your side, or having him at peace?"

"I am just having a really hard time understanding why he can't have both."

" _You_ want both," Li argued, "and he cannot have either until he confronts what has happened to him. Having you here will only serve as a distraction, not a help."

"Iolaus has a family now," Hercules told him, desperately. "I suppose he can't get well if his daughter is around either, is that it?"

"Jiang told you – he has no family. He has no friends. He is alone. When he is ready, he will become whole again. Perhaps that will include you." Li shrugged solemnly. "Perhaps not. That is for Iolaus to decide. Not Hercules the half god from Greece."

Hercules narrowed his eyes. "If you know so much about me and about Iolaus… you should know I'm not going to stop unless you let him talk to me. It's not for you to decide either."

"It _is_ for me to decide. I am his teacher. He came to me for help."

"And keeping me away from him is helping?"

"Yes." Li sounded deadly serious. He had stopped walking and was now facing Hercules head on, standing in the middle of the stone courtyard.

Hercules put his hands on his hips. "I'm not leaving. I've been out here for four days. I can stay a bit longer."

They stood staring at each other for a few minutes as the sky darkened and it again started to rain, casting a dreary shadow around the temple yard. "Do you love him?" Li suddenly asked.

"More than anything in this world, other than my son," Hercules answered without hesitation.

The Chan master regarded him sadly. "Then I do not understand why you will not go." When Hercules still refused to budge, Li sighed deeply. "I suppose there is only one way to convince you to leave."

"Yes. Let me talk to Iolaus."

"I will let you see your friend," Li agreed, " _if_ you can get passed me."

Hercules repressed a snort. "I don't want to fight anyone. I didn't want to fight your guards, but they didn't really give me much of a choice."

"I do not believe it will be much of a fight," Li stated, making Hercules raise his eyebrows in amusement. "But… you will try nevertheless. It is what you do." He unclasped his hands and crouched down into what Hercules assumed was a fighting stance, raising his arms to chest height, his palms facing outward. "We have an agreement?"

Hercules sighed. "Look, I really don't want to do this." He had barely finished his sentence when Li suddenly swung his arms around in a wide circle, took a step forward, and pushed out with his right hand. A golden light, like the one that had come out of the guard's staff, jumped from his hand and sailed through the air, hitting Hercules square in the chest and sending him flying back into the stone surrounding wall. The demigod slid to the floor, stunned. "Okay," he grunted, shaking his head and quickly pushing himself back up, "maybe I _do_ want to do this." He weighed his options as Li allowed him to get his bearings before resuming that same fighting stance. _Is it just me or is this guy deliberately asking for it?_

The Chin man regarded him, mouth quirked in a half smile, and then turned his right hand so that the back was facing Hercules and made a quick beckoning movement. The demigod scowled _. I guess that answers that question._

Li started the circle with his arms again, and Hercules quickly dodged to the left as another beam of light escaped from the Chan master's hand. The demigod rolled and came back up, seeing to his dismay that the light had changed direction and was following him. He raised his arm at the last second, using his Hephaestus-forged gauntlets as a shield and was only partly successful. The metal took the blow, but Hercules could still feel the force of it vibrating in his bones, making his teeth clack together painfully. He felt something like static running up his arms, his hair standing on end. _This is getting me nowhere_ , he thought, angrily. Ever since he arrived at the temple that morning he'd been playing defense, mostly because he was aware enough to realize he was completely out of his element, like he had been in Eire with his first fight with Morrigan. _Chan is similar to Illumination,_ he reminded himself. _I wonder…_

Hercules relaxed his guard and thought of nothing but the calm that he had felt the night before when he'd been trying to beat the riddle of the temple wall. The Chan master stared at him curiously, as if realizing what he was attempting and was amused by it. Hercules ignored him, and instead focused on relaxing and opening his mind, the way Maben had shown him.

He took a deep breath, gathering his strength, and ran, faster than even he thought possible. He sped across the temple courtyard in a blur and passed the suddenly extremely bewildered Li, who turned around just in time to see Hercules heading straight for the maroon doors of the antechamber. Li jumped, sailing through the air to land softly in front of Hercules, again blocking the way. _Damn,_ Hercules thought, furious.

Li paced lightly back and forth in front of the entrance, like a tiger eyeing its prey. "You learn quickly," he said appraisingly.

Hercules gave a half shrug. "I've been told it's a demigod thing."

The Chan master said nothing to that, but pushed up the sleeves of his billowy white robes and jumped through the air again, this time kicking out at Hercules as he landed. Hercules, still using the Illumination techniques, blocked them with lightning fast reflexes and took a swing at the Chin man as he landed, which Li blocked just as easily as Hercules. They went back and forth like that for a while, each trading kicks and blows, each blocking with whirlwind swiftness, a blur of white and yellow to anyone watching.

Li seemed to always be half a second ahead of Hercules, as if he was anticipating his movements, and the demigod began to get frustrated. He tried for a punch to the side of Li's head, but the Chan master was already there, grabbing Hercules' wrist. To his complete astonishment, he couldn't pull his arm out of the other man's vice–like grip.

"Why are you really here, Hercules?" Li asked. "For Iolaus, or for you?" He let Hercules go and then pushed him in the chest. It felt like barely a tap, but it still sent him soaring backward. The demigod once again found himself on the stone floor, utterly mystified. Not even Ares could keep a hold on him like that.

"Admit it," Li demanded. "You came out of selfishness."

"That's not true!" Hercules shouted, jumping to his feet and coming at Li again. He swung two punches, each blocked, and then was he back down on the ground. His chest was starting to hurt from the force of Li's blows. "He should know about his daughter."

"Why is it so important to you? You forced that woman to admit to the truth and now you force it upon Iolaus."

 _He could he possibly know about Niobe?_ Li was trying to get in his head, shake him of his resolve, playing some kind of mental warfare. "Because it's the right thing to do!"

"No. It is because you want him back. Only you do not realize he's not yours to take."

Outraged, Hercules got back up and sped towards Li as fast as he could. This time Li simply dodged his blows and kicks, dancing out of the way, not even bothering to block them. "Iolaus is not a thing. I've never treated him like a thing!"

Quick as a flash, Li struck out and got Hercules on the side of the head, making him drop to his knees on the stone. "Are you sure?" the Chan master needled him. "Didn't you tell the death god of Sumeria it had something that belonged to you?"

Hercules was completely thunderstruck. "What?" he whispered. He stared up at Li from his position on the ground, a horrified look on his face.

"You said it had something that belonged to you. You also said it to Dahak… that you had come to 'repossess'."

Hercules was so shocked he could barely formulate a rational thought. "How do you know about that?" he demanded, fiercely, trying to rise to his feet, but Li took his foot and pushed him back down.

"It does not matter how I know. Did you or did you not say those things?"

"Yes, I did," Hercules admitted. "But I didn't mean them. I was angry, I was out of my mind-"

"No. You were being honest with yourself, perhaps for the first time."

Rage, white hot and uncontrollable, started making its way through his body. Hercules took his fist and slammed into the floor, cracking the wall surrounding the reflective pool behind him and actually making Li take a step backward. "That's _enough!_ I am _not_ going to lower myself into debating this with you. You can think whatever the hell you want. Iolaus is not a thing. He never has been. He's never been my sidekick. He's never been anything except my best friend, and he always will be. You can throw me to the ground as many times as you like, beat me against the floor until I die. But _nothing_ you do to me is _ever_ going to change how I feel about him, and you will never make me think otherwise! I said those things because I was terrified to live without him. You weren't there! You couldn't possibly know how I felt!"

Li tilted his head slightly, as if judging the sincerity of his words. Finally he nodded, almost as if to himself. "And what of your son?"

Hercules angrily rose to his feet. This time Li didn't try to stop him. "You leave him out of this," he warned. "Arcas has nothing to do with you."

"Is Iolaus more important to you than him? Will you leave him in Greece forever, while you futility try to beat me and gain access to this place?" Hercules immediately felt a pang of terrible guilt at the thought of his son, and Li raised an eyebrow in shrewd observance. "Ah. So that's what it is."

Before the demigod could even think to ask him just what in Tartarus he meant, Li spun and knocked him back with a flying kick, sending him hurtling through the air and into the reflective pool. The force of it knocked the wind out of him, and he instinctively tried to take a breath only to gulp in a lungful of water instead.

Hercules came up sputtering, shaking his wet hair out of his eyes, and felt a fist clenching around his tunic, hauling him up and out of the water and then dropping him just as unceremoniously back onto the cold stone floor. He leaned against the outside of the pool, coughing and clenching his side against a sudden cramp from inhaling the water.

"This is over," Li told him.

Baffled and angry, Hercules just stared at him. "No," he said, stubbornly. "It's not over…" He attempted to stand back up but was shoved roughly back down by what he assumed was nothing more than Li's pure strength of will, as the Chan master hadn't even bothered to move at all. Hercules felt what little breath he still had in his lungs get knocked out of him once again as he struggled against the invisible force.

"You cannot beat me, Hercules. Your heart is not truly in it. It is at home, with your son and your people," Li said, not unkindly. In fact, he sounded extremely apologetic about the whole thing, as if part of him was hoping Hercules might actually win. "I had thought it was because you were lying to yourself about your intentions. But I was wrong."

The demigod tried to argue but he could still barely breathe, so he just settled for fuming up at the Chan master instead. _My heart is in it_ , he silently insisted. _Iolaus_ is _my heart._ He wondered again if Li could read minds and silently prayed to whoever was listening that he could somehow hear him now. _Please. Don't do this. He should know the truth._ The pressure released and Hercules gasped in lungful's of precious air.

Li knelt down so that he was eye level with the demigod, dark eyes gazing into blue ones. "You are a great and loyal friend," he said, putting a hand on his shoulder. "Iolaus has been lucky in life in that regard. I may have been… wrong… about you. But, it is time for you to go home now, son of Zeus." He squeezed Hercules' shoulder gently. "Go home to your son. Iolaus must stay here, until his journey is complete. He belongs here now."

The demigod shook his head, biting back on the feelings that were threatening to take his breath away for a completely different reason. _I can't. I can't go back there without him. I don't know how to do this without him._

"Please," he said, voice rough with emotion. "I need him." As soon as he said the words, he knew it was what Li wanted him to admit all along, and he felt such a surge of hopeless despair that he felt like he was back in Sumeria, in the realm of the god of the dead all over again, listening to that horrible being tell him he was too late, that Iolaus was gone…

The Chan master gazed at him knowingly. "I know," he said, softly. "Jiang asked you before if you were doing this for Iolaus, or for yourself. I think now, you know as well. I understand you think you are doing what's best for him, but you must refer to my judgment now."

"This isn't about me!" Hercules insisted. "It's about Meg, too."

"Yes and no. I think you will find, Hercules, that you need him much more than he needs you. I said you could see him if you could get passed me. You did not. I know that you are a man of honor, and that you will leave in peace." Li stood and gave Hercules a deep and graceful bow. "Go home now, Hercules. Go to your son. You will see Iolaus again. Just not today."

And with that, he just disappeared into thin air. Hercules was unfazed; after what he'd seen the last four days, he would have been disappointed if Li had actually just used the door. That didn't stop him from immediately jumping up with a yell of fury and trying to wrench the maroon egresses of the antechamber open, refusing to acknowledge that it was over, that this was the end. He beat on them, he pulled as hard as he could, he even tried to use his full strength and weight to break them down by slamming into them repeatedly with his shoulder, but it was no use. The temple was as quiet as death, the only sounds the pounding of the rain on the stone and Hercules' anguished screaming. He yelled for Iolaus until his voice was raw, and then he tried again to break down the doors, beating them so hard he left smears of blood on the wood. Then he sunk back down to the floor, exhausted, shoulders heaving pitifully, his body wracked with sobs. _This can't be it. It can't be._ He couldn't leave. If he left, he would be giving up.

After his body was too spent to cry or to even move anymore, he sat in a heap in front of the antechamber doors, staring out into nothing. He was soaked through from landing in the reflective pool and then sitting in the rain, but he was numb to it. It felt like he was numb to just about everything, except for one thought – that Li was right. His thoughts, before he had even set foot in Chin, were divided between getting to Iolaus and getting back to Arcas. And he knew he couldn't stay here forever, abandon Arcas in Greece with Jason while he hoped and waited for an opportunity to see Iolaus. _He needs you_ , he reminded himself. _He's just a boy. He needs his father. He doesn't have anyone else._ He thought back to all the times growing up that he'd wished for his father to come see him, to acknowledge him in some way, before finally accepting that Zeus was just too busy to give a damn about one of his undoubtedly numerous half mortal children. Too busy, or just downright didn't care. Hercules refused to let Arcas feel like he had. But, that meant he would have to leave Chin… leave Iolaus here. This entire trip would have amounted to nothing, and he felt another surge of hopelessness coming on.

 _Pointless, it was all pointless…_ All the months spent on ships, travelling across the country, had been for nothing in the end. Iolaus still didn't know anything about what was going on in Attica, and Hercules was back in the same state he'd been when Iolaus had left. The only thing that was different was that now, more than ever, Hercules felt responsible for dragging Iolaus to Sumeria in the first place. He had tried to brush off Li's comments, had said Iolaus wouldn't have gone anywhere he didn't want to, which was partly true. But, it had struck something deep within the demigod, something he'd been wrestling with since before he'd even left for Chin.

He'd said it to Maben, and to Morrigan – the people closest to him wound up hurt, or dead. He'd been able to stop thinking that way, to move past it eventually, because he had enough things to worry about to let misplaced guilt weigh him down. But watching Iolaus struggle with his torments, watching him get worse and worse and be unable to help, had brought all those old thoughts back up to the surface. He couldn't say no, they had gone to Sumeria, and Iolaus had died. Everything that had happened after had made him leave and come here, where Hercules couldn't get to him. It was ridiculous – Hercules had gone to the Underworld, browbeat Hades into letting him take Iolaus back, but he couldn't even break down a simple wooden door. Maybe Li was right; maybe his heart really wasn't in it, because he knew that he was the reason Iolaus was here in the first place.

He was being selfish. Li had gotten Hercules to admit what he was hiding even from himself – he came here for him, as much as he had come for Iolaus. And it was time for him to accept that maybe this was what was best for Iolaus after all. Being with Hercules obviously wasn't – Iolaus had been tortured, beaten, had his arm broken twice, and been dead three times along with a slew of other physical and mental abuses since joining up with the demigod. Maybe Iolaus' place really was here, and not with Hercules.

He still felt the decision didn't rest with Li, or him, but with Iolaus, and he was at least somewhat comforted with knowledge that when his friend got tired of this place and people like Li that he'd pack up and head home just as quickly has he'd left. It wasn't like Iolaus to stay in one place too long. The man had way too much energy, was too curious and too impatient to be stuffed inside a temple listening to platitudes for the rest of his life. All there was left for Hercules to do now was accept it, and go home.

Realizing that he really wasn't going to be able to see Iolaus, that this wasn't a trick, was the hardest part. Every time he got close, his mind recoiled from it, refusing to give up. He sat there in front of the doors for a few more hours, hoping that the students would have to open it to come out into the courtyard eventually, but the rain was only getting worse and it seemed as though everyone was perfectly content to stay inside and leave him out there to rot. He glanced up at the window where he had seen Jiang and Li watching him sometimes, but all the openings were shut and locked as well.

Eventually he picked himself up off the floor and dragged himself to the gate, which had been left open from him bursting through that morning. He couldn't believe he was actually doing it, that he was going to leave. He felt torn between Iolaus and Arcas, and he hated himself for it. He knew it really shouldn't even be a choice, which made him hate himself even more. He remembered what he'd said to Arcas when he thought he'd lost him in Attica: " _You_ are the most important thing to me. Not Jason, not Iphicles, not… not even Iolaus. _You."_

It was the truth, and he knew it. And, as much as he may never forgive himself for walking away now, if he stayed and left Arcas instead, it would haunt him for the rest of his life. He couldn't do that, and he knew that Iolaus wouldn't want him to.

Feeling his heart break even more with each step, he slowly walked through the gate. He couldn't make himself walk down the path just yet, so he leaned against the temple wall until he'd calmed himself down again and could muster up the emotional willpower. Maybe he could find an inn and leave in the morning, when the rain had stopped. The thought made him sick. Now that he'd made the decision to go back to Greece, he didn't want to stay in this place any more than he absolutely had to. Chin, like Sumeria and even Eire, had too many painful memories for him now.

 _It's only been a year_ , he told himself. _Iolaus has only been gone a year. He's going to come home. He'll be home soon. He'll be home, he'll be better, and you can tell him everything._

He took one more look up at the temple, at the shut windows, hoping and praying that Iolaus, or Jiang, or someone else would come running out after him, but it was no use. Finally, he pushed himself off the wall and made himself stare straight ahead as he walked down the sodden path back into Chang'an.

It felt like he had left a piece of his soul behind.

* * *

Hercules should have figured, after the way his trip had turned out, that nothing was going to be easy in this place. It took him until almost dark to find someone that would take him in since he had no money and didn't speak the language, and even then he'd had to sleep in the barn, which suited Hercules just fine. He'd had a restless night, tossing and turning, unable to sleep, his mind refusing to settle down. He would be angry, then sad, then angry again, and then he would just lie there, listening to the rain before starting the whole process over again. His shoulder ached again from ramming into the antechamber doors, and the cut on his lip itched as it healed. His nose had already mended earlier in the night; at least the guards hadn't broken it. That gave him the smallest bit of satisfaction, before he would replay everything in his mind again and go back to feeling miserable.

The next day the rain was even worse than before, and the water from the river was rising steadily. The people around him didn't seem surprised, and looked like they were making preparations to either be stuck inside for a good long while, or leave the area. That did not sit well for the demigod.

The old Chin man whose barn Hercules had stayed in brought him some kind of hot soup and then made shooing motions, yammering at him in their strange tongue. Hercules got the gist: _Here's some food, now get out._ He gave the man a gracious smile and accepted the bowl, nodding at the door. The old man nodded back and then went back into his home. Hercules sighed. He did not want to travel in this weather.

The soup smelled of onion, which Hercules wasn't too sure about, but it was sure warming his hands up nicely. The rain was making the air damp and cold. He was starting to get a little cold himself, so he sipped the soup experimentally and had to admit that it was pretty good. _Well, at least that's one thing I like about this place. Soup, one; Hercules, zero. Nice._ It was hot as well, and it warmed the demigod up as he slowly drank it.

He carried the soup over to the door of the barn and leaned against the frame, watching everyone bustle about. The market was beginning to look deserted. Hercules frowned, listening to the people yell back and forth rapidly, and tried to pick out some of the words but to no avail. He raised the bowl to his lips, watching two young Chin children try and fail to pull a brown donkey through the muddy alleyway, when he thought he saw a blond head out of the corner of his eye. He immediately dropped the bowl out of shock, splashing it on his boot. He cursed and did an awkward hop as it seeped through his laces and burned his foot. _Impossible. It couldn't have been him. Could it?_

Not wanting to hope but incapable of just standing there in case he was wrong, he tore out of the barn into the rain, startling the donkey, which brayed loudly and ran down the street with the children chasing after it.

Hercules made a quick left around the home he'd seen the blond man and ran up the street, eyes searching wildly.

 _There._

It was a blond alright, but he had short hair and wasn't wearing the traditional robes he'd seen the students in. But he was Iolaus' height, and Iolaus' build…

"Hercules."

The demigod jumped and whirled on the spot to see Jiang Nu standing behind him. He made an impatient noise and turned back around. The blond was gone.

Hercules stared at the empty alleyway, torn between laughing, crying, or breaking something apart. "You did that on purpose," he said, menacingly, slowly turning back to face her.

"Are you sure you even saw what you saw?" Jiang asked, mildly.

He opened his mouth to argue, and then stopped. Maybe she was right. He was exhausted from fighting the guards and Li yesterday, he hadn't slept much since he arrived, and he was heartbroken. Maybe… maybe he'd just wished it was Iolaus…

 _Stop it_.

Hercules blinked and shook his head. It felt fuzzy. "Whatever you're doing, I suggest you stop before you make me angry."

There must have been something very dangerous in his voice, because Jiang took the tiniest step back. "I did not come to quarrel with you. I came to warn you."

Hercules snorted. "About what? What else could you people possibly do to me that you haven't done already? I'm leaving. You won. You should be happy."

"Your sorrow does not make me happy, Hercules."

"That's news to me," Hercules spat, glancing over his shoulder again. He was _sure_ it had been Iolaus…

"The rain will not stop," Jiang told him, making him turn his head back around to regard her. "It will not stop for many months. If you wish to go back to your son, you must leave now. There is a port in Hangzhou. It will be easier for you to travel that way and leave by ship than by trying to go across country back to India."

Hercules didn't bother asking how she knew he had come through India, and just laughed scornfully. "Easier? What the hell do you care?" he barked hatefully.

"Whatever you may think, it was never any of our intentions to hurt you," Jiang said softly.

Hercules snorted. "Well, thank you for your consideration, but I'll be fine." He pushed past her and headed back up the way he came.

"The rain will come for many cycles. This area is home to the Wei River, and it will flood. It's why people are leaving," she said, following him.

"Looks like some are staying."

"They are fools. I did not take you for a fool."

Hercules stopped again, almost making the woman run into the back of him. "Why are you here, Jiang? Unless you decided to go against your master and give Iolaus my message, I don't have anything more to say to you."

"As I told you, I came to warn you. You are an outsider and do not know these lands." She bit her lip. "Master Li was surprised to see you were gone this morning. He doesn't surprise easily."

Hercules raised his eyebrows at that. "I thought he made himself pretty clear. And he was right about me being an honorable man," he muttered, resentfully. "You have no idea how much I wish I wasn't sometimes."

Jiang shook her head. "No, you do not. Then you wouldn't be Hercules. You would be someone else."

"Yeah, well, I don't really feel like being me today, so… I suggest you just leave me alone and go back to your temple."

"Do not think of it as giving up, Hercules," she told him, taking him by surprise. "Iolaus loves you, and you love him. You're doing the right thing."

"Then why do I feel like this?" he demanded. "I _can't_ keep this from him. I don't know why you won't tell him." He took a step toward her, trying to read her expression. "You care about him, don't you?"

Jiang looked down. "Entanglements are forbidden."

"That doesn't answer my question."

"My feelings are of no consequence. He is my friend, and he is hurting. Anything else would be disrespectful to the pain he has. But… I do not like to see him suffer. If I tell him you came, he will suffer. His heart will suffer." She shook her head. "I'm sorry."

Hercules made a frustrated noise in the back of his throat. "Then go home, Jiang." He threw her another disgusted look before turning his back and stalking up the alleyway. _I don't know what Iolaus sees in this place. Everyone here talks in riddles and contradicts themselves half the time._ Hercules had a feeling that if he stayed here any longer his head would simply explode just from trying to figure out what the hell everyone was talking about.

Again he thought about the uselessness of this entire endeavor. He hadn't been able to see Iolaus at all, let alone tell him about Meg, or about what had happened to Xena and Gabrielle…

Hercules stopped again and glanced over his shoulder. Jiang wasn't following him anymore, but she was still standing where he had left her in the middle of the alley, looking like a drowned rat from all the rain. She looked so miserable that Hercules almost felt sorry for her. He could tell that she maybe didn't agree with Li as much as she said she did, and that she truly didn't want to see either Iolaus or Hercules suffer.

"I get why you won't tell Iolaus about Meg. You're right… he would leave. And he's obviously not ready. I don't care what Li has to say, but you I believe." He walked back down to stand in front of her again. "I won't ask you to go against your tenants, or your master. But… there's something else Iolaus should know. It won't change what he's doing here."

Jiang slowly looked up at him but said nothing.

"We had some friends. Their names were Xena and Gabrielle." Hercules didn't miss Jiang's quick intake of breath. "You know them?"

"Xena is well known throughout Chin, for both her past and present deeds. She became a great friend of our people when she killed Ming Tien."

Hercules loosely remembered Gabrielle telling him something like that, years before. "She's dead," he said, flatly. "So is Gabrielle. They were killed almost a year ago, outside Rome." Jiang tried to hide her astonishment and wasn't entirely successful. "Iolaus would want to know that. We were all very close. And there won't be anything he can do about it, so he won't leave. It _will_ make him upset, though. So… maybe you can tell him when the time is right. But, he'd want to know."

Jiang gave him a small nod. "We will see if Master Li agrees," she said, wistfully. "You really do need to leave soon, Hercules, or you will be trapped here for months."

"Well, I certainly wouldn't want that," he said, sarcastically. "Go home, Jiang." This time when he walked away, he didn't look back, and she didn't stop him.

* * *

In hindsight Hercules realized he should have listened to her, but he was still holding out hope that the man he had seen was Iolaus and that he'd catch a glimpse of him again. Ultimately, he'd had to vacate Chang'an right along with everyone else, and he'd had no choice but to make for Hangzhou as Jiang had suggested. The only other place he could go was the temple as it was on the high ground, but he seriously doubted that they would let him in along with all the other villagers.

He mentally berated himself the whole time he was trying to get back home. _I can't believe you're going to leave here without telling him…_ He'd tried to send messages, but they all came back unopened, the carrier birds somehow finding him wherever he was. He'd tried to sneak them into provisions, or onto other travelers heading for the temple, but they, too, somehow found their way back to the demigod. Hercules tore up the last scroll he had sent in a rage and tossed it into the fireplace of the latest inn he'd managed to find refuge in. He'd never felt so hopeless.

He finally made it to Hangzhou but was told due to the storms that he'd have to wait at least another week. Luckily he'd managed to pick up some of the language in the months of travelling, and spent the time helping the people around him with simple tasks in exchange for food and lodging. He tried not to enjoy the stories they would tell about their legends and heroes out of spite, but he found himself liking the people that lived in Hangzhou. They would laugh at him good humoredly when he said words incorrectly and would try to help him with the pronunciation, and they couldn't get enough of his tales of Greece and Eire. He could tell they thought he was making half the things up, but embellishments seemed to be part of their story telling process, so they didn't mind.

By the time he got back to Greece, it was fall and he'd missed Arcas' birthday. Luckily he'd had the presence of mind to get him something in Chin one day. He overheard some of the merchants arguing over a table of precious gems and had asked them about them and what they meant. He didn't believe in that sort of thing, but he was interested in what they had said about the garnet, how it warded off bad dreams and evil spirits, thinking of Iolaus. But they also explained it could help with those who were sensitive to psi.

"Psi?" Hercules had asked, nonplussed.

One of the merchants pointed to his head and nodded enthusiastically. "Powerful minds."

His thoughts had immediately shifted to Arcas. If nothing else, his son would like the color of the stone itself and would probably like what it was supposed to represent, so he had asked the merchant what he could do to earn one, but the man had just pushed it into his hand and shooed him away. "Take it," he had told him in Chinese. "You tell good stories." Hercules just shook his head and hadn't argued.

The boat ride back had been lonely and miserable. Hercules tried to write to Iolaus again a few more times, but it ended up being just as fruitless as his other attempts. All in all his trip had cost him half a year, and once he arrived in Athens he barely gave anyone the time of day, he was so focused on getting back to Corinth and back to his son.

He got to the Academy two days later, stopping only once to get a fresh horse. The entire place was in a tizzy when he strode through the gates, but he ignored the cadet's excited questions, dropping his pack in the practice yard and heading straight inside. He had to deflect more surprised and enthusiastic students as he marched through the halls and up the stairs to Jason's office. He burst through the door, startling Jason out of his wits and almost making him fall out of his chair.

The Argonaut gaped at him, open-mouthed. "Hercules? My gods!" he exclaimed. He jumped out of his seat and crossed the room. "When the hell did you get here?"

"Just now. I got to Athens two days ago," Hercules said, quickly. "Where's Arcas?"

Jason continued to stare at him as if he were a ghost. "Gods, Hercules, you've been gone for six months!"

Hercules sighed. "I know that, Jason, and I'm sorry. I'll explain later. Now, I'd really like to see my son. Where is he?"

Jason gestured to the door. "Downstairs with the other kids, probably learning math or something. Wait, where are you going?"

Hercules wasn't listening. He turned on his heel and walked swiftly back out the door, Jason running down the hall after him.

"You couldn't have sent me a gods damned scroll letting me know you were on your way?" he demanded once he caught up to the demigod.

Hercules opened his mouth to argue and then quickly closed it again. He had forgotten, as he was furiously trying to send scrolls to Iolaus, to stop and write one to Jason as well. No wonder he looked so surprised. "Uh… sorry. I forgot."

"You _forgot?_ " Jason repeated incredulously as they both made their way down the stairs. He put a hand on Hercules' shoulder, forcing him to stop and turn around. "What about Iolaus? Did you see him?" He glanced around, as if expecting the blond to pop out from behind a corner somewhere.

Hercules pushed his irritation over that situation aside and said, firmly, "I told you I would tell you later. All I want to do right now is see Arcas. How is he? Has been okay?"

" _Dad!_ "

Hercules spun towards the sound of Arcas' voice to see him running past the inside practice yard from the classrooms as fast as his little legs would carry him. Hercules dropped to his knees, Arcas throwing himself into his father's arms. "Hey, buddy," he said tenderly, hugging his son to his chest, never wanting to let go ever again.

"I can't believe you're home!" his son exclaimed joyously.

"Yeah, I'm home. And I am never going to leave you for that long again. I promise."

Arcas mumbled something into Hercules' tunic and he pulled back, looking at him questioningly. "I thought you were dead," Arcas repeated. "You didn't come home and I thought-"

Hercules swallowed down the lump in his throat and hugged him again. "Arcas, I am so sorry. I-"

"He wrote a few weeks ago. I wanted to surprise you," Jason told Arcas, making Hercules stare up at him, wide eyed.

The boy pulled back to give Jason a narrowed eyed glare. " _What?_ You knew he was coming home and you didn't tell me?"

"I said I wanted to surprise you. You know, for your birthday."

Arcas made a huffing noise and just buried himself in his father's arms as Hercules looked up at Jason in gratitude. _Thank you_ , he mouthed.

Jason just shook his head ruefully and patted him on the back. "It's good to have you home, Hercules."

"Thank you," the demigod said again, out loud. He stood up, his hand on Arcas' hair, ruffling it affectionately. "For everything. For taking care of him-"

"You never need to thank me, you know that."

"I'm going to anyway," Hercules told him, embracing Jason in a quick hug. "Thanks, Jason. Really. I don't know what I would have done without you."

Jason cleared his throat and Hercules pulled away, noticing for the first time that every cadet in the practice yard had stopped what they were doing to stare openly at the reunion playing out in front of them. "Come on, not in front of the kids," Jason whispered. He gave Hercules a once over. "You smell like onions."

Hercules had no response to that except to throw his head back and laugh.

* * *

Jason and Hercules sat on the ground in front of a fire pit in the practice yard later that night once the cadets had all gone to sleep. Hercules had given Arcas the piece of garnet earlier in the day once everything had calmed down, and his son had turned it over and over in his hands in awe.

"It's supposed to ward off bad dreams, and help people like you, with your powers," Hercules explained. "We can get a throng and make you an amulet to wear, if you want."

"Cool," Arcas breathed, pocketing it. "Is it from wherever you went?"

Hercules nodded. He still didn't want to tell Arcas he had gone to the East, in case he let it slip, but he told his son the name of the city, figuring he was too young to put two and two together. "Yes. From a place far away, called Hangzhou."

"Where's that?" Arcas asked.

"Just… very far away from here. That's why it took me so long to get home."

"Did you help whoever you needed to? Are they all going to be okay?"

Hercules and Jason exchanged glances. "Yep. I took care of it, and everything is okay now."

Arcas had nodded forcefully, as if there was no doubt in his mind that his father could take care of all the world's problems. "Good."

Now he was asleep on a blanket next to the fire as Hercules quietly told Jason about everything he had experienced in Chin and at the Chan temple. Arcas had scarcely wanted to leave his father's side since he'd gotten back.

Once Hercules had finished with his story about Jiang and Li and what they had told him, Jason had shaken his head, leaning back against a log and resting his arm on it.

"So, you didn't talk to him at all?" he asked, mystified. "You didn't even see him?"

Hercules shook his head and angrily threw a log into the fire. "Nope. I thought I saw him once, in Chang'an city when everyone was running around trying to get the hell out because of the rain. But then Jiang showed up to make sure I was leaving and I didn't get to find out." He let out a deep, regretful sigh. "I don't know what to do, Jason. They wouldn't let me see him, they've sent back every message I tried to send to him. I feel… lost." He looked at Jason, hoping for some kind of guidance. "What am I supposed to do now?"

"I'm not sure there's anything else you _can_ do," Jason said, softly, putting a hand on his shoulder. "You did everything you possibly could."

"I had to have missed something. I should have done more. I don't know." Hercules shook his head. "This can't be it, Jason. I can't keep this from him. Part me can't believe I willingly left, but I just couldn't…" He glanced down at the small form of Arcas, sleeping peacefully. "I couldn't stay away from him any longer."

"Look, Hercules… it's only been a year. Iolaus is going to come back. You have to believe that. We may not get to tell him the way you wanted, and Meg may not get to know Iolaus as soon as you would have hoped, but he's going to come back. And when he does, you can tell him everything. He'll understand."

Hercules took a deep breath and forced himself to nod in agreement. Jason was just trying to be encouraging, and he knew that, but he was already tired of talking about it. It made his heart hurt. "You're right," he said. "I know that. He'll be back. Everything's going to work out. It has to," he added, quietly.

Hercules wished, time and time again over the following years, that he could go back in time and tell his younger self to stop being a complacent idiot. To get back on that boat, and smash through anything and anyone that got in his way once he got back to Chin, and demand to see Iolaus. Because a few years turned into a few more years, and then into ten years, and then before he knew it, two decades had gone by. Meg had gone from a four-year-old to a headstrong but beautiful twenty-three-year-old who reminded him of Iolaus more and more every day. She was the unwilling heiress to a kingdom she barely spent any time in, once she had gotten older, and the relationship with her mother became more and more strained, which made Hercules long even more for Iolaus' return.

Meg and Arcas had developed a friendship and a bond that their fathers had shared, and there was no separating them. They balanced each other out – Arcas the cool, collected voice of reason and Meg the sarcastic antagonizer. They pushed each other to be better, and they pushed Hercules' patience to the limit, but seeing the two of them together began to be the only thing that gave him any real joy.

Hercules had tried to hold onto his silent prayer, year after year. But after the first decade had gone by, he had made himself accept the hard and painful truth: Iolaus wasn't coming home. He couldn't keep telling himself he would show up one day, he couldn't keep thinking, _Just another year. Just one more year._ He could tell that his hope gave Meg hope, and he grew tired of her disappointment more than his own.

On the day he gave Meg Iolaus' amulet, he pushed everything down, locking it away somewhere in the hopes that Arcas wouldn't feel it and Jason and Meg wouldn't sense it, and did the one thing he thought he would never, ever do.

He gave up.

* * *

 **Now**

"So, that's it. That's what happened."

Hercules and Iolaus were still in the barn. Iolaus had perched himself back on the haystack and Hercules had moved to the dusty and straw filled floor, but he got up again as his story ended and started to pace agitatedly. "I did try to find you, Iolaus. I was _this_ close. But what was I supposed to do? I stayed there for three months. I had to… the rain wouldn't stop and I couldn't get a ship or a trade wagon out of there to save my life."

"Meiyu," Iolaus muttered quietly, lost in thought. At Hercules' odd look, he said, louder, "Monsoon season. Happens late summer… well, you obviously know that now."

"Yeah, something like that. I stayed as long as I could but, I had Arcas, Iolaus. I couldn't leave him here. I had to come home!" He realized he was raising his voice and, swallowing, tried to control his temper. "I tried. I really did. I tried to talk to them, they forced me out. I tried to- to do whatever the hell I did to get passed the temple wall, and that didn't work. I sent you messages, they sent them back. Repeatedly." He stopped pacing and turned to Iolaus, angrily. "So, don't go putting all of this just on me."

The smaller man shut his eyes and shook his head. "I just… I can't believe that they would do that. That they wouldn't tell me. They didn't even tell me that you had come at all."

Hercules raised his eyebrows. "Really?" he asked, skeptically. "You really think that, Iolaus?" When Iolaus didn't answer, the demigod nodded. "That's what I thought."

Iolaus was still and quiet. He hadn't moved from his spot on the haystack, and he looked down at his feet before saying, "I believe you. I do. They probably thought they were doing the right thing. I know you don't want to hear that." He looked back up at Hercules. "I was, um… in pretty bad shape, when I got there. The things you saw… the dreams, the panic attacks…" He gestured outside. "That night, in the river… Those were nothing. It was like, once I left, I couldn't stop it anymore. Once I didn't have you, there was nothing holding any of it back." Iolaus gave a half shrug. "They made a decision and it's done. And, they probably made the right one. Even if they had let you talk to me, I don't know if, uh… I don't know if I really would have cared much at that point. You said you tried a year after I left?"

Hercules nodded. "Right before spring solstice, I think. Everything kind of got blurred together."

"I know the feeling." He scratched his head thoughtfully. "Yeah, I was… not in a good place. It's probably good you didn't see me, the state I was in. And, I hate to say it, but Li and Jiang made the right decision, at least at the time." He shrugged again. "Besides, it was part of the deal. Leave-"

"-all things behind," Hercules finished, flatly. "Yeah, I know. So, I came home and I just threw myself into fixing the house and farming and raising Arcas… and Meg, sort of, too. We went to Attica to see her, and eventually Niobe started letting her come here, to Corinth. They went to the Academy together and now… here we are."

"Here we are," Iolaus repeated.

"You, um… you look better," Hercules said tentatively. "I remember how you were, when you left. You were… well, you weren't good." Iolaus didn't agree or disagree. "It's nice to see you so healthy. I guess that's the right word."

Iolaus smiled wistfully. "Yeah, well… it took a very long time."

 _You can say that again_ , Hercules thought, but bit his tongue.

"By the way," Iolaus said, softly, "Li and Jiang did tell me about Xena and Gabrielle."

That was a surprise to Hercules. "They did?"

"A while ago, but years after you were in Chin, when it would be too late for me to do anything about it, I guess." He shifted nervously, not sure how to broach the next subject. "I also heard… well, I don't really know what I heard exactly, but… um… I know about Zeus." He regarded Hercules, trying to gauge his reaction.

 _Oh. Great._ Hercules swallowed and tried to keep his face blank. "Yeah… He really didn't give me much of a choice."

"So, it's true then?" Iolaus wasn't sure what to do or what to think. When Li had told him, he hadn't wanted to believe it. He'd thought the Chan master was just making things up, testing him. "You killed your father?"

"Yes, it's true. He went after Xena, and her daughter. I wasn't going to stand by and let him kill an innocent baby. The whole thing with the Twilight, whatever it was… it was like everyone went insane. And it doesn't matter anyway, because three months later Athena took up the cause and killed them all anyway."

"What?" Iolaus was stunned, forgetting about Zeus for the moment. Athena was one of those gods Iolaus liked to refer to as their "rare few" that they never had to worry about, back in the day. "I don't believe it…"

"I didn't want to believe it either, but yeah… Athena, Hades, and Hephaestus-"

"Athena and Hephaestus?" This time, Iolaus didn't even try to keep the shock out of his voice. "I mean… Hades was always kind of up in the air, but _Hephaestus_?"

"I know. I was surprised, too."

Iolaus put his head in his hands. "It just doesn't make any sense. Hephaestus had his moments, but for the most part, he was all right. He and Aphrodite… Oh, no. Please, don't tell me…" But Hercules shook his head, making him breathe an audible sigh of relief.

"No. Aphrodite didn't have anything to do with it. And, after that, I don't think she had much to do with Hephaestus either. I haven't seen her in a very long time."

Iolaus found that surprising but was too confused to comment. Everything was so different, he didn't know where to begin. Hera and Zeus were gone, Athena was apparently Queen of Olympus, Xena and Gabrielle were dead… and Hercules had committed patricide…

"I don't get it. What did Xena's baby have to do with them? And when the _hell_ did she get pregnant?" he added as an afterthought.

Hercules waved that one off. "I never found out who the father was, but there was some prophecy about Eve bringing about the Twilight, the end of the gods. And, well, dear old dad couldn't have that."

"I don't understand…"

"Yeah, well, I didn't either," Hercules said, bitterly. "I still don't understand, but they've stayed out of my way and I've stayed out of theirs, so… I guess I don't need to."

"And Athena was just fine with the whole you killing Zeus… thing?" Iolaus asked in disbelief.

Hercules shrugged. "It made her queen of the gods, so I guess she figured she made out all right. Funny how they suddenly seem to forgive and forget when it benefits them."

Iolaus couldn't argue with that. The gods had always been fickle. But he was still surprised that Athena, or at least Hades or Poseidon, hadn't come down to exact some kind of revenge against Hercules, especially Poseidon. While the other gods were just general, uncaring pains in the ass, Poseidon thoroughly enjoyed tormenting and killing those who made their life by the sea. "How did you find out about all of this?"

"Oh!" Hercules exclaimed, suddenly. "I almost forgot. You are _not_ going to believe this." At Iolaus' expectant look, he continued, "I got a visit from Ares."

Iolaus' eyebrows shot up. "Ares? Like a 'Here I am to kick your ass and by the way your friend is dead' visit from Ares?"

"No. It was really, really weird. I had come out to check on the horses before going to bed and he was just sitting there on a barrel, right next to where you are now," the demigod said, nodding at the haystack.

Iolaus looked over at the spot Hercules was indicating, eyeing it dubiously, before quickly hopping off his seat and moving instead to lean against one of the wooden posts on the other side of the barn. It was such an Iolaus thing to do that Hercules couldn't help but smile fondly.

"Better?" he asked.

Iolaus made a show of getting himself comfortable. "Much."

"Good. So, there he was, just hanging out in my barn, and my first thought was that the gods had finally decided get revenge on me, and that he was there for Arcas. And, I was terrified. I remember trying to think how fast I could knock Ares out and get to the house, get Arcas to safety, but… nothing like that happened. He said he came to tell me that they were dead. That Xena and Gabrielle were dead. And that was it."

"So… are you saying Ares was doing something… _nice_?" Even as Iolaus said it, the words sounded strange coming out of his mouth. He made a face, as if he had eaten something particularly bad.

"No, I have no doubt it was to hurt me, and it worked. I didn't want to believe him, so I did my own investigating. Anyway, after he said what he had come to say, he just left. I haven't seen him in… well, almost as long as you've been gone. No one has. It's like he just… disappeared." He shrugged helplessly, as if the whole episode still bothered him after all this time. "I thought maybe the prophecy about Eve was bogus, that the Twilight was coming regardless and he had just succumbed to it, but… I think he just outright left."

"As in, left Greece?" Iolaus asked, dubiously. "Our Ares. The god of war Ares. He just… packed up and left Greece." It sounded absurd, but Iolaus could tell Hercules was being serious.

"He was in love with her, Iolaus. With Xena. I think… I think he was actually in pain."

That brought Iolaus up short. Ares did always have some weird bondage and leather, god of war and warrior princess obsession with Xena, but _love?_ "Huh," he said thoughtfully. "Who knew?" _I bet it drove Gabrielle nuts_. "So, he just took off? For good?"

"Seems like it. Things have been quiet around here. I'm sure it has something to do with the fact that he's no longer around. Once he, and Hera and Zeus… well… It's just been quiet. Athena seems to be content to let the human race alone, as long as they keep up with traditions. It's not until recently that things have been getting out of control again, with these followers of Eli."

Iolaus glanced over at him curiously. "Eli?" he repeated, surprised.

"You've heard of him?"

Iolaus nodded. "In India. He's revered as a Devi, a healer. I didn't know it had spread so far."

"The movement has mostly stayed in Rome, oddly enough… but it's slowly making its way into Greece. I've been telling the people for years not to rely on the gods, and with this new message of Eli's, it seems to be getting through to people. I actually haven't had a lot to do in years, at least where the gods are concerned. It's been nice, actually. I got to spend a lot more time with Arcas. And with Hera and Ares gone… I didn't have to worry about him, you know?"

Iolaus smiled sadly, thinking of Deianeira and the kids. "I'm happy for you. Looks like you raised a good man. Nosy," he added, making Hercules chuckle, "but I think that's hereditary."

"Yeah, well, all his good traits obviously came from me."

"Uh, huh. I bet I can think of a few more things he's probably picked up from you. Like, stubborn pig-headedness-"

" _Pig_ -headedness?"

"I'm kidding… mostly." Iolaus smiled wistfully. "He has your eyes, and your smile. I, uh… thought he looked familiar when I walked up. I can't believe I didn't realize who he was as soon as I saw him. It was almost like looking back in time."

"Funny. I thought almost the same thing about Meg, as soon as I saw her. I knew you and Orestes were identical, but… I knew who she really was."

That made Iolaus tense up again ever so slightly. It would have been missed by anyone except Hercules. "I can't say that I'm happy with this situation," Iolaus told him after a moment. "And, it's going to take me a little bit to move past it all, and the part you played in it. But… I think we'll get there eventually."

It took Hercules a few seconds to realize that Iolaus was serious. He stared at him, dumbfounded. "Are you kidding me? After everything I just told you, you're still mad at me?"

"Not _mad_. More like… disappointed. And this thing with Zeus…" Iolaus shook his head miserably. "I'm so sorry. I truly am. I can't even imagine… You know, when Li told me all those years ago, I didn't want to believe-"

"What?" Hercules interrupted. He was staring at Iolaus, a look of stunned disbelief on his face. "You knew for _years_? You knew what happened with Zeus, what I had to do, and you didn't come back?"

 _Uh, oh_. "Um…" Iolaus stuttered nervously, immediately trying to backtrack. "I _wanted_ to. Of course I wanted to. I really did. Li had to practically hold me down to keep me from getting on the next ship out of there, but… then he told me it had happened three years before and I…" He shook his head helplessly. "I just figured that it was too late."

"Too late?" Hercules repeated, numbly. "You thought it would be too late for what, Iolaus?"

The blond frowned, allowing some annoyance to creep into his voice. "Hercules, I don't think you really understand the place I was in back then. They barely even let me outside."

"You knew, and you didn't…" Hercules laughed in complete disbelief. "Iolaus, I needed you. I _needed_ you here after that. You have no idea what it did to me-"

"And _you_ have no idea what it was like for me when I left! I don't want to fight with you about this," Iolaus said, harshly. "Gods, Hercules, when I got there I was half drugged out of my mind and suicidal."

Hercules gawked at him. "What?" he whispered, shocked.

"Yeah. I was knee deep in opium dens with people who would kill me as soon as look at me. I almost hoped one of them would, but I decided…" He swallowed. "I decided if I was going to die again, it was going to be on my terms." Hercules had gotten paler with each word he had said, and in a rush of anger, Iolaus spat, "So, sorry I wasn't here to help you out while you were out committing patricide."

The demigod winced, and Iolaus instantly regretted his words. "Sorry," he said shortly. "I'm just… I'm having really a hard time accepting all of this right now."

"Yeah, no kidding," Hercules said bitterly. "Is this what it's come to now between us? Sitting in a barn, trading insults and yelling at each other?"

"I don't know, Herc. You tell me. I know why _I'm_ angry – I just got some pretty shocking news. You know, the kind that changes your life?" Iolaus stalked over to where Hercules was standing. "But _you_ … you were angry before you even told me about Meg, about any of this. So, I'll say it again… you tell me. What is going _on_ with you?"

"What do you want from me, Iolaus?" Hercules asked, honestly. "You want me to be happy over the fact that you've been gone for the last twenty years? It wasn't like it was four or five. That I could get past. Twenty years is a _long time_ , Iolaus. I get that you were suffering, I get that you needed to find yourself, but I just don't understand why you had to go away for so long to do it!"

"Because I needed every single year," Iolaus shot back. "Why don't you believe me? You have no idea how I felt, what it was like for me!"

"Okay, then let's start there." Hercules crossed his arms over his chest and looked down at Iolaus expectantly. "What was it like for you?"

"Hell," Iolaus said, tersely. "Although, I think that's a bit of an understatement. I feel like hell would have been a lot nicer, and they would have at least given me my own bathroom."

Hercules gave him an annoyed eye roll, not in the mood for games. "This isn't a joke, Iolaus."

"I'm not joking," Iolaus insisted. "I told you… I was drugged up, suicidal… Everything got worse once I left, nothing got better, not for years. The stuff they put me through to try and make me realize why I kept having those dreams, why I was feeling what I was feeling, was almost as bad as the _actual_ feelings."

"Then why didn't you just leave?" Hercules asked in genuine curiosity.

"I wanted to. Believe me. I thought about it thousands of times, thinking nothing could be worth that, but it was." He turned his back and ran a hand over his face. "I don't like thinking about the person that I was when I left. I can't even remember a day that I wasn't high or drunk or…" He trailed off and shook his head, ashamed. He knew Hercules was right, and the demigod had done his part and explained a lot of what happened all those years ago. And he knew Hercules deserved an explanation himself. But that required Iolaus to go to a place he really didn't want to return to, a place he hadn't thought about it over a decade, a place he knew Hercules didn't really want to know about no matter how many times he asked. Iolaus had left to keep it from him, to try and keep it even from himself.

Thinking about all that had happened, and the bitter, detached way Hercules was treating him, and the situation, cut Iolaus to the core. He abruptly whirled back around, fixing Hercules with a look of hurt disbelief. "What the hell's happened to you?" he demanded before he could stop himself. "I don't know what you want me to say! It was horrible. It took me _years_ to even get to a place that wasn't utter darkness! Is that what you want to hear? What the hell did you think I was doing? Skipping through the fields, having the time of my life without you? Do you really think I was on some kind of fucking joy ride?" He threw his arms up, exasperated, and stared at Hercules, waiting for some kind of response. "Well? What do you want me to tell you? What do you want me to say?! Just tell me what you want me to say and I'll say it!"

Hercules just snorted self-righteously and shook his head. "I don't know, Iolaus," he said, sadly. "I don't know what I want you to say. And no… I don't know what you were doing." He shrugged helplessly. "That's kind of the point."


	8. Epilogue

_*I submitted this to a fanfiction contest on Inkitt, and would love your votes! Just go to Inkitt and look for my profile under Stacey L.C.*_

* * *

 **Epilogue**

Iolaus had no idea where he was. Days that started out that way were never a good thing.

He blinked his eyes open and slowly sat up on something billowy and soft, which at least told him he was in a bed. Now, if he only knew _whose_ bed…

He looked over to his right to see not one but two sleeping forms next to him and raised his eyebrows. _Well… wherever I am, apparently I had a really good time._

It was damn hot as well. He heard what sounded like the howling of wind, but it was a whistling sound, almost as if it was coming from a tunnel, which gave him the impression that he was up high somewhere.

 _What the hell…?_

He was in what looked like a stone dwelling of some kind. It was small and seemed to only consist of two chambers, separated by a curtain behind him. The bed he was in was in the front room; he could just barely make out the modest furniture through the light that was bleeding through the thatched door.

He couldn't remember anything from the night before, and as his tired mind slowly started working through its confused fog, the hunter in him started getting apprehensive. The two women next to him were still sound asleep, but he had no idea if there was anyone – or any _thing_ – else in the home with them.

Iolaus wrinkled his nose sniffed the air. There was some kind of sour smell… _Oh_ , he thought, catching a glimpse at the small bedside table to his left. There were still some remnants of opium powder and the burnt ends of leaves scattered across it. _That would explain why I can't remember anything._

He made to get up and then realized as the sheets moved against him that he was completely naked. He glanced around the room wildly, picked up the pillows and sheets, but his clothes, dagger, and sword were nowhere to be found. _Dammit. That's just wonderful._

Wrapping one of the light bed sheets around his waist, he cautiously rose out of the bed so as not to disturb the two sleeping women and padded across the room to the door, trying to peek through the cracks to get some idea of where he was. He could see at least one of his boots laying on the stone walkway in front of the house. _Okay, that's a start…_

He also got a glimpse of mountains. Lots of mountains. And a lot of sky that seemed to go on and on for miles.

 _Fuck._

Making sure the sheet was secure, he quietly pushed the door open, stepped outside, and almost lost his footing. He shut the door and pressed himself against it, eyes wide. The hut was situated on top of a cliff. A very steep cliff, with a very narrow and windy stone walkway that lead even further up the mountain.

 _Where_ am _I?_

His boot was lying about two steps away from him, precariously close to the edge. Iolaus just hoped to whatever gods were listening that the rest of his clothes hadn't been tossed off the side some time during the night. At least he'd left his vest at Jason's. He would never have forgiven himself if he'd lost it.

He straightened his sheet and bent down to grab his boot when he heard the braying of a donkey, and turned to see an older Persian man leading it down the narrow walkway. The height or the narrowness of the path didn't seem to bother him, and he barely gave Iolaus a second glance as he walked by.

"Uh, excuse me?" Iolaus asked, cautiously. The man slowed and turned back around to face him. Iolaus cleared his throat and, holding his sheet up with one hand and the boot with the other, said, "I'm sorry to bother you, but, um… where am I?"

"Ecbatana," he answered curtly, and continued down the path.

Iolaus' eyes widened and he leaned against the outside of the house, stunned. "Ecbatana …" _How in Tartarus did I get to Ecbatana?_ It was technically on the way to Chin, but that still didn't explain how he got up the mountain in the middle of the night, high as all hell, and with two women in tow.

He jumped and clutched at the sheet around his waist as the door swung open lazily and a dark skinned woman came sauntering out. She gave Iolaus an appraising look, running her hands over his hair and then down his chest.

"Um… hi," Iolaus said warily, taking the woman's hand and gently removing it from the trail it was making towards where the sheet was tied.

She smiled coyly at him and then turned and walked down the path the same way the man and the donkey had gone. _Where did she come from?_ Iolaus blinked and then poked his head back in the door where he could still see the two women in the bed. _Wow. I had a really,_ really _good time._ If he couldn't remember anything else, he wished he could at least remember that.

He shook his head to clear it of a completely different kind of fog that had settled over his brain. _Okay. Enough of that. Find your clothes, and then get the hell out of here._ He caught a glimpse of his shirt sticking out from underneath the bed. He grinned triumphantly, wriggling under it to find the remainder of his clothes and other boot. There were still no sign of his sword or dagger.

The two women started making waking noises, so he quickly threw the sheet on the floor and got dressed, hopping towards the door as he pulled on his boots. He threw a hesitant glance over his shoulder. He still needed to find his weapons. And there was all that opium on the table…

 _Weapons_ , he told himself, sternly.

Iolaus crept past the bed and over to the curtain, pulling it aside ever so slightly. _Come on, they have to be around here somewhere… Ah!_ He spotted his scabbard, luckily with the sword still inside, on a large wooden table in the middle of the room. He decided he could do without the dagger, or just get another one, but he had to have his sword. And he needed to get out of wherever he was and back down into the city.

His senses heightened, he slipped through the curtain and across the room. There didn't seem to be anyone else home, but Iolaus knew better than to assume. Especially in Persia. And especially when there was opium involved.

He got a flash of memory. Someplace dark, crowds of people, sour smell, barely being able to see for all the clouds of smoke… an opium den. He'd been in another opium den last night.

There had been a fight.

Iolaus immediately halted as he felt a flash of pain he had unexpectedly become aware of. He lifted up his shirt to see a large, darkening bruise on his side, at the bottom of his rib cage. Not broken, at least. But definitely cracked. He got another flash of some guy hitting him repeatedly in the side and stomach, then a hot spray of blood…

 _Oh. That's where I left my dagger._

Something changed in the room. The hairs on Iolaus' neck started standing up. _Get out. Get out of here now._ He took the remaining few steps and grabbed the sword off the table before his mind finally registered the word, _Trap_.

"If you're looking for your knife, you left it in my brother's throat."

 _Too late._

Iolaus stiffened and slowly turned around. There was a man in the house now. A very large man, holding a very long, very wicked looking scimitar.

"You don't remember, do you, golden one?"

Iolaus blinked, trying to repress a laugh, and tilted his head to stare at the guy. "Golden one?" he repeated, incredulously. "You've _got_ to be kidding me."

The big Persian raised the scimitar and ran a finger down the edge, examining its sharpness. "That's what my sisters called you. They found you very interesting. "

Iolaus winced. _Damn._ At least it was a brother and not a husband. Although he was sure one of those would probably pop up any second now, just for some extra fun.

The guy was leering at him in a way that made Iolaus' skin crawl. He didn't like where his eyes were going.

"Hey, buddy… I'm up here," he said, snapping his fingers and waving his sword. "The part that talks, at least. I know on you, that's probably not the case." He was rewarded for that insult with a vicious backhand that he wasn't quick enough to avoid, and it sent him spinning into the table behind him. _Me and my big mouth._ He tasted the metallic tang of blood and spit it out. The bastard had split his slip. He recalled Hercules telling him, on numerous occasions, that his fast and often smart ass mouth was the cause for a lot of his trouble. "What can I say, Herc?" he had joked once. "It's a gift. I can't help myself."

He heard footsteps behind him and stayed still against the table, slowly inching his sword out of its sheath, his body hiding what he was doing from his attacker. _Iolaus_ , he told himself. _Herc's right. You really need to learn to help yourself._ At the last second, Iolaus spun, his sword flying out of its sheath and into the stomach of his would be assassin. The man stared at him, wide eyed. He hadn't even raised the scimitar. "Yeah, golden one is pretty quick on his feet," Iolaus said, retracting his sword and pushing the Persian out of the way. He grabbed the scabbard and quickly ran through the front of the house, startling the women who had just come out of their drug crazed sleep. He felt bad for them; they probably had no idea what had happened the night before either, and now he'd managed to kill both their brothers.

 _Killed. You killed two men in less than a day._

It's not like he had never killed anyone before, but that had been in war, or when there was no other choice. He and Hercules never killed if they could help it. He could have helped it.

He just didn't care.

Quick as a flash, he sheathed his sword and scooped up the remainder of the opium from the bedside table and then ran out the door, narrowly avoiding tipping himself over the side of the cliff as he did so. He stood there for a moment, looking down onto the jagged rocks and the city far in the distance. The hand that held the opium was shaking, covered in blood.

Iolaus felt sick; sick, dirty, and somehow violated. He opened his palm to stare at the powder before tossing it over the side of the cliff and wiping the remainder off on his pants. He regretted it instantly. That was how he knew he'd made the right choice.

He took off quickly but carefully down the path and back into the city, only stopping when he was sure no one had followed him. _Enough_ , he told himself, firmly. _Enough now._ _You're going to die before you even get to Chin._ _This has got to stop. You've got to stop._

At least that's what he told himself. He almost had himself convinced he could do it, too. And he didn't go back to any more opium dens as he traversed through Persia and into India.

But he also hadn't been able to resist the pull, the sweet escape that opium and wine brought, and by the time he'd gotten into India, he was having trouble remembering why he'd even come in the first place.

* * *

 _So I made the decision to break this into several books. It's already 140k words long (for perspective, "Deathly Hallows" was 190k). I already have the first three chapters of book two written since they were originally part of book one. I just wanted to get Hercules' part out of the way so I could focus on Iolaus' story and really deep dive into him as a character. So, fear not... this isn't over yet._


End file.
